Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Gambling addiction and emotion

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Heading casing[edit source]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:20, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

your structure[edit source]

Hi, some comments on your structure.

The five questions sound familiar, did you take them from the textbook? Even if you did not, I think you spent too much space on introducing emotion. You only need to discuss emotion in the introduction part where you introduce gambling. The focus of your chapter is on how does gambling influence emotion/ or how does emotion influence gambling? Some related theory concerning gambling could be introduced to understand this behaviour.

Also, important: recreational gambling and problem gambling. I guess when it is not problem gambling, recreational gambling could have some positive effect on emotions. Problem gambling and its negative impact should be discussed. --Xlc (discusscontribs) 10:41, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

APA style captions for images and tables[edit source]

I recommend using APA style captions i.e., Figure 1, Figure 2 etc. for all images, graphs etc. and Table 1, Table 2 etc. for all tables. The caption text should not be in italics. For more detail and examples, see http://libguides.newcastle.edu.au/content.php?pid=113807&sid=1208571 -- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:32, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

Couple of edits[edit source]

Hi

I just edited a couple of your headings to correct the caps. Hope that's ok!

I noticed you've got some random syntax just above your Reference list area. I had a look, but I couldn't easily see how to correct it. You may want to take a look.

I also noticed you've got 2 random links down the bottom. If they are your External links you may want to put a heading in and create links.

Chelsi CFD (discusscontribs) 11:38, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Referencing style[edit source]

This chapter uses a mixture of APA style referencing and Wiki style referencing. I recommend just using APA style. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:41, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Coloured backgrounds[edit source]

Coloured backgrounds make it more difficult for people with visual disabilities to read the text. I recommend removing these e.g., there are no coloured backgrounds used in Wikipedia articles. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:42, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Physical ordering of page[edit source]

Hi! I really like the structure of your chapter's contents, it flows really well from point to point, and is all grouped together really well. The only thing about the ordering I would request you change is the having two columns of text the whole way down. It does make it interesting visually, but I don't feel like it would work as well in an online page (it would in a physical book). It's just slightly difficult keeping track of where you are when you have to scroll up and down all the time, and it does not flow like the table of contents lists it out. Great work content-wise though :) ZombrexJim (discusscontribs)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

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Overall[edit source]

An engaging voice-over is the highlight of this presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

The structure could be improved. A good overview is provided at the beginning of the presentation, but beyond this, the flow is sometimes difficult to follow. It ends somewhat abruptly, and providing some kind of conclusion could prevent this. Some illustrative examples are incorporated. Theory is well incorporated. Research could be more of a focus.

Communication[edit source]

The voice-over is well paced, with a warm and engaging tone. The make-up of the slides was inconsistent, making it difficult to follow in parts.Remember to include important information on the slides. For example, some of the statistics presented around adolescent gambling could have been written out.

Production quality[edit source]

Basic production tools are used adequately. The audio is quite 'fuzzy'. Quality of visuals are good. A link back to the book chapter is not provided. No copyright license information is provided.

ShaunaB - Talk


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a sufficient chapter which could benefit from several improvements which mainly relate to a greater focus on the central question. For more feedback, see my copyedits and comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. The chapter is over-ambitious in its goals; it could be improved by refining the focus exclusively to the specified topic.
  2. The "five perennial questions" section is unnecessary - summarise the key points which are relevant to gambling, link to additional resources, and focus on the specific purpose of the chapter
  3. The emphasis on adolescent gambling wasn't strongly linked to the main purpose of the chapter (e.g., what does it show/illustrate about the role of emotion in gambling). This seemed to distract away from exploring the central topic in more depth.
  4. The breadth of theoretical perspectives could be expanded (e.g., BIS/BAS, personality, and sensation seeking)

Research[edit source]

  1. Some research studies are discussed, but not in much detail. The chapter could be improved by providing a more comprehensive review of research about emotion and gambling.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Simplify the written expression style (e.g., for the opening paragraph - [1] - the Conclusion should be similiarly simplified)
    2. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., where clarification templates have been added to the page).
    3. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    4. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., above, below, as previously mentioned)
    5. What are the take home messages?
  2. Layout
    1. Apply conventional Level 2, Level 3, Level 4 etc. Wikiversity heading styles
  3. Learning features
    1. The text could become more interactive by including interwiki links.
    2. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links
  4. Spelling, grammar and proofreading
    1. Grammar for some sentences needs improving (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags)
  5. APA style
    1. Put in-text citations in alphabetical order.
    2. Add APA style captions to tables and figures.
    3. APA style for references is very good; remove issue numbers for seriated journal references.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:10, 28 November 2014 (UTC)