Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Fear as a motivator

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Comments[edit source]

Hey! This is really interesting :) just one thing I noticed with your referencing, instead of "(Davis (1992))" (for example), just have "(David, 1992)" for the correct APA formatting :) if you change that throughout it'll help heaps with your referencing mark!! Good luck with the rest! -- (discuss) 10:27, 26 October 2014 (UTC) -- (discuss) 10:28, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Comments[edit source]

Hi there, have had a read through your chapter, is all sounding good, hope you don't mind I have corrected a few grammatical and spelling errors in the first four sections, also corrected a few intext citations that were still formatted incorrectly, hope this was ok? Goodluck Josephineanne (discusscontribs)

Suggestions[edit source]

Hi Hayden

Your page is looking good! I think a bit of colour on those grey boxes might lighten the look of it though. Also, you could head those with 'Case study' (you can probably check out some of the other pages for easy ways to format that).

I'd also suggest putting in some links on your words, eg fear, emotion, motivation.

You've done a good job keeping your definition of fear brief, but I wonder if you should define motivation/motivator as well.

I think you could expand on how operant conditioning works, maybe briefly making the link between rewards/strengthening and punishment/weakening.

Are there any studies to say you're born with fears? You could touch on genetics here.

Also, you may want to briefly expand on classical conditioning - just something like 'where one stimulus becomes associated with another and starts to elicit a similar response'.

There appears to be a few sentences that might need citing, eg A study into a common phobia, trypophobia (fear of holes), conducted spectral analysis on images that were more likely to trigger peoples phobias. Who did this study???

Are anxiety and fear the same? kind of comes out of nowhere, and doesn't relate to the paragraphs on either side (which both link fear with motivation). This may be better placed up the top under your paragraph defining fear.

Generally you've got lots of great info. I think, depending on your word count, you could expand some of the paragraphs with more studies or examples. Other than that, you've done well!

ChelsiCFD (discusscontribs) 12:32, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.


Overall[edit source]

It is always good to re-enforce the usefulness of fear and anxiety - they both get such a bad wrap. This is a nicely developed presentation. Well done!

Structure and content[edit source]

The structure of this presentation is a strength. All concepts are clearly defined. Research is well integrated. Theory is also integrated, but is less of a focus. The use of real life illustrative examples is very good.

Communication[edit source]

Communication is good. The voice-over is well paced, with good expression and pauses where necessary. The slides are basic but effective. Some images or figures could be included in order to make them more engaging.

Production quality[edit source]

Basic production tools are used. The audio quality is poor. The visuals are clear. A link back to the chapter is not provided.

ShaunaB (discusscontribs) 09:27, 18 November 2014 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a solid chapter, which presents and interesting, balanced view of the motivational role of fear. For more feedback, see my copyedits and comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Theory is well covered.
  2. Key concepts could be linked to related Wikiversity or Wikipedia articles.
  3. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags

Research[edit source]

  1. Research is reasonably well covered.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression was reasonable, with some room for improvement to reach professional standard.
    1. The quality of written expression could be improved where clarification templates have been added to the page.
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    3. Obtaining (earlier) comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped to improve the chapter.
  2. Layout
    1. Some Figures were used; check Figure numbering.
    2. Consider using Tables and/or Figures were used effectively.
  3. Learning features
    1. The text could become more interactive by including more interwiki links.
    2. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links
  4. Spelling, grammar and proofreading
    1. Check use of ownership apostrophes e.g., persons vs. person's
    2. The grammar for some sentences could be improved - see the [grammar?] tags
  5. APA style
    1. Check APA style for in-text citations e.g., (Olsson & Phelps (2004)) -> (Olsson & Phelps, 2004)
    2. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:42, 27 November 2014 (UTC)