Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Emotion and sex
- 1 Comment
- 2 Good job, a few suggestions
- 3 Edits to sentence structure
- 4 Possible topics to discuss
- 5 Another possible topic
- 6 Chapter review and feedback
- 7 Multimedia feedback
Hi!!! I was reading through and I saw that a mistake in one of your references. You wrote: Nobre et al. (2003), to write et al. we should first include the whole list of authors if they are no more than 4 and I could not see them anywhere referenced in that paragraph. Also you don have it in the reference list, don't forget to include it!!!!! ;) Good luck!!! --U3074414 (discuss • contribs) 00:23, 25 October 2014 (UTC)
Good job, a few suggestions
Contribution from u3082340
Interesting choice of topic - basic but intriguing. I see you still haven’t filled in the section “Why do we have sex?” So I can slip in my two cents - maybe you could provide a hyperlink to The Drive Reduction Theory just as a side reference. As it’s a topic specific to motivation rather than emotion it’s best just to mention it. Also with your reference list - Don’t forget to put the journal articles in italics so you don’t lose marks! Here’s the coding for the hanging indent that I used:
<div style="padding-left: 2em; text-indent: -2em"> Obviously it won't show up on the saved discussion - but it's there when you go into edit. Just copy the hyperlink
You just paste that at the very top of the list, no need to put it at the top of all the references you used. Otherwise - good content :) Goodluck!
I was just having a read, and there’s some syntax things that you might want to change.
Under the heading "what are emotions" you have two sentences in a row starting with "emotions are..." which sounds a bit weird, like two separate definitions.
Also the sentence " Emotions are a psychological state which consists of three different components, the first being a physiological response, a behavioural reaction and a subjective experience" it’s a bit weird that it says "the first being" which sounds like a particularly ordered list is to follow, and it doesn't really. I don’t know, it just reads a bit weird.
Another sentence under the heading "what are emotions" starts with "each individual creates their own emotions", I'd like more information here, how do they create their own emotions?
Also, the sentence "Studies have shown that anxiety can have a negative impact on sexual desire for both sexually functional men and women" feels a bit chunky/clunky.
And the sentence "Depression and a depressive affect have also been strongly linked to sexual arousal for both men and women” - in a positive or negative way?
Also, the section under "Influence of emotions on our sexual functioning/dysfunction" feels a touch repetitive.
Lastly, your references in your reference list don’t have the italics they need.
Other than that, it’s looking great. It’s very informative, well written, and well organised. I find it a very interesting topic.
Edits to sentence structure
Hi, I just had a read of your chapter and noticed some of the sentences were a little confusing or long. So I made a couple of edits regarding sentence structure. I hope you don't mind! If you don't like the changes you can always revert back to the last version. :) Good luck with the rest of your writing.
I was reading through and I saw that a mistake in one of your references. You wrote: Nobre et al. (2003), to write et al. we should first include the whole list of authors if they are no more than 4 and I could not see them anywhere referenced in that paragraph. Also you don have it in the reference list, don't forget to include it!!!!! ;) Good luck
Possible topics to discuss
Hey there, a few suggestions for some categories associated with your question to discuss, you could look at gender differences and what sexually driven hormones are predominant in males and females for provoking sexual behaviour. You could also incorporate a couple of sentences in about how external forces; such as evironmental factors and culture, influence both genders emotions and their sexual behaviour. Good luck! U3068702 (discuss • contribs) 11:50, 26 October 2014 (UTC)u3068702U3068702 (discuss • contribs) 11:50, 26 October 2014 (UTC)
Another possible topic
Hey, good start! Another suggestion i have, even though your topic is "How do emotions affect sexual behaviour" you could possibly include the possible feedback loop based around the positive emotions we feel after sex. Example: Have sex -> feel good -> want more sex to feel good when the positive feelings aren't present. That's probably going into sex addiction territory, which may or may not go with what you're talking about! Looking forward to reading it when it's finished!! ZombrexJim (discuss • contribs)
Chapter review and feedback
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