Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Emotion and sex

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Comment[edit]

Hi!!! I was reading through and I saw that a mistake in one of your references. You wrote: Nobre et al. (2003), to write et al. we should first include the whole list of authors if they are no more than 4 and I could not see them anywhere referenced in that paragraph. Also you don have it in the reference list, don't forget to include it!!!!! ;) Good luck!!! --U3074414 (discusscontribs) 00:23, 25 October 2014 (UTC)

Good job, a few suggestions[edit]

Contribution from u3082340

Interesting choice of topic - basic but intriguing. I see you still haven’t filled in the section “Why do we have sex?” So I can slip in my two cents - maybe you could provide a hyperlink to The Drive Reduction Theory just as a side reference. As it’s a topic specific to motivation rather than emotion it’s best just to mention it. Also with your reference list - Don’t forget to put the journal articles in italics so you don’t lose marks! Here’s the coding for the hanging indent that I used:


<div style="padding-left: 2em; text-indent: -2em"> Obviously it won't show up on the saved discussion - but it's there when you go into edit. Just copy the hyperlink

You just paste that at the very top of the list, no need to put it at the top of all the references you used. Otherwise - good content :) Goodluck!

u3082340 (discusscontribs)


Hey Siobhan!

I was just having a read, and there’s some syntax things that you might want to change.

Under the heading "what are emotions" you have two sentences in a row starting with "emotions are..." which sounds a bit weird, like two separate definitions.

Also the sentence " Emotions are a psychological state which consists of three different components, the first being a physiological response, a behavioural reaction and a subjective experience" it’s a bit weird that it says "the first being" which sounds like a particularly ordered list is to follow, and it doesn't really. I don’t know, it just reads a bit weird.

Another sentence under the heading "what are emotions" starts with "each individual creates their own emotions", I'd like more information here, how do they create their own emotions?

Also, the sentence "Studies have shown that anxiety can have a negative impact on sexual desire for both sexually functional men and women" feels a bit chunky/clunky.

And the sentence "Depression and a depressive affect have also been strongly linked to sexual arousal for both men and women” - in a positive or negative way?

Also, the section under "Influence of emotions on our sexual functioning/dysfunction" feels a touch repetitive.

Lastly, your references in your reference list don’t have the italics they need.

Other than that, it’s looking great. It’s very informative, well written, and well organised. I find it a very interesting topic.


Best of luck! Maddie. Laney3691 (discusscontribs)

Edits to sentence structure[edit]

Hi, I just had a read of your chapter and noticed some of the sentences were a little confusing or long. So I made a couple of edits regarding sentence structure. I hope you don't mind! If you don't like the changes you can always revert back to the last version. :) Good luck with the rest of your writing.

Hi there!!!

I was reading through and I saw that a mistake in one of your references. You wrote: Nobre et al. (2003), to write et al. we should first include the whole list of authors if they are no more than 4 and I could not see them anywhere referenced in that paragraph. Also you don have it in the reference list, don't forget to include it!!!!! ;) Good luck

Possible topics to discuss[edit]

Hey there, a few suggestions for some categories associated with your question to discuss, you could look at gender differences and what sexually driven hormones are predominant in males and females for provoking sexual behaviour. You could also incorporate a couple of sentences in about how external forces; such as evironmental factors and culture, influence both genders emotions and their sexual behaviour. Good luck! U3068702 (discusscontribs) 11:50, 26 October 2014 (UTC)u3068702U3068702 (discusscontribs) 11:50, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Another possible topic[edit]

Hey, good start! Another suggestion i have, even though your topic is "How do emotions affect sexual behaviour" you could possibly include the possible feedback loop based around the positive emotions we feel after sex. Example: Have sex -> feel good -> want more sex to feel good when the positive feelings aren't present. That's probably going into sex addiction territory, which may or may not go with what you're talking about! Looking forward to reading it when it's finished!! ZombrexJim (discusscontribs)


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is an excellent chapter.
  2. For more feedback, see these copyedits and comments below.

Theory[edit]

  1. Theory
    1. Theory is reasonably well covered, with emphasis on evolutionary explanations, but also mention of cognitive, affective, and physiological explanations.
    2. The role of the theory, however, is less strong that the role of research. Theory could be highlighted more clearly in the Overview and Conclusion.

Research[edit]

  1. Research
    1. Overall, the use of research is excellent.
    2. The paragraph starting "Graham et al. (2004) found that the effects of negative mood varied on women’s sexual arousal..." has excellent content, but could be improved by consolidating the material (perhaps into a separate paragraph) about anxiety. Some of the material seems to be repetitive and some contradictory.
    3. The description of research about the role of depression could be expanded and explained more clearly.
    4. The section on stress and sexual behaviour could be consolidated (e.g., some content seems to be repetitive and disjointed).
    5. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context.
    6. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  2. The Reeve (2009) textbook is possibly over-used as a citation; preferably consult and cite primary, peer-reviewed sources.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, this is a very well structured, written, and illustrated chapter.
  2. Layout
    1. Overall, the chapter was very well presented.
    2. Figure captions could be improved by including closer connection with key concepts in the text. The Figure 4 and 5 captions are good examples of what to aim for.
    3. Coloured boxes were removed to aid readability; keep the style simple (e.g., as per Wikipedia articles)
  3. Learning features
    1. The chapter makes excellent use of interwiki links.
    2. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links
    3. Quiz questions are used effectively to encourage reader engagement.
  4. APA style
    1. Remove issue numbers for seriated journal references.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:16, 28 May 2015 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a solid, effective presentation.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Structure and content is comprehensive - a close, effective summary of the chapter.

Communication[edit]

  1. Visual communication is effective (using Prezi), although text is sometimes too small (consider less text, larger font).
  2. Visual communication was text-heavy; consider using more images.
  3. Audio communication is good, but is someone monotone, a little too fast, and could benefit from longer pauses between sections.

Production quality[edit]

  1. Production quality was high (using Prezi), with very clear audio recording.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:37, 28 May 2015 (UTC)