Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Depression and motivation

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Comment[edit]

Hi, I really enjoyed reading your chapter. It is clearly written, interesting and informative. I just noticed that 'The Basics: What is motivation and depression?' could be shortened to 'The basics' (note lower-case heading convention) as you have subheadings of 'What is motivation' etc. underneath. Also, my chapter is on the motivation of self-injury, if you would like to link to my chapter you are welcome to! I also disucss the Polk & Liss study on self-injury motivation :-) KerrieW (discusscontribs) 10:11, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

Table help[edit]

Hi, excellent work so far, your content is great. I tried to fix the table and think I have been successful - there was just a tiny coding error at the end. It looks like it has worked on my computer - let me know if it has worked on your end. U3112911 (discusscontribs) 10:49, 7 October 2014 (UTC)


Great topic, and a good thorough (but succinct) coverage of depression and it's signs and symptoms. I might link my chapter to yours once I've finished, as i'm covering depression and self esteem, and would love to have a "for more info" link when I talk about what depression is, as i won't be going into too much detail. Nice work!--JessicaClareHunt (discusscontribs) 04:44, 7 October 2014 (UTC)

Comment[edit]

Hey,

That's a really interesting topic and your titles look awesome.

Cheers Njzarb (discusscontribs) 03:02, 14 October 2014 (UTC)

general comments and edits[edit]

Hi, I tried to help fix your table but it doesn't seem to have worked. Its really strange that is happening. I would suggest that you ask James next time you see him. Sorry I wasn't able to fix it.

Cheers Njzarb (discusscontribs) 02:59, 14 October 2014 (UTC)


Hi, it seems you're really on top of this assessment - good job. I made a few small spelling edits, and changed a few American spelt words (ones with Z in them) to their Australian counterparts as James specifically asked for Australian spelling in the assessment criteria. I added a picture in the anhedonia section, i hope you're a football fan haha. I also added links to the DSM-5, extroversion, and neuroticism wikipedia pages. Lastly, youve defined depression as a mood in your paper which I don't think would be right when writing in a psychology framework. Perhaps just reword it a little to something like "Depression is a... characterised by a state of low mood...". I hope you get that issue with your table resolved. Good luck

Joelthebaws (discusscontribs)

Congratulations on a great chapter. Your chapter is VERY informative and detailed. Whilst I have little recommendations or suggestions, I’d like to thankyou for broadening my perspective on my topic through yours. My topic is mental health and religiosity and I found your chapter very relatable and I was intrigued to see how you intertwined the relevant theories of emotion. I was most impressed with your section on learned helplessness and how you applied it to depression. I also found the listing you used to be very effective in breaking up huge sections of writing. I assume this is still a working progress and will be fixed but the table of contents does not fall under the table of contents heading – this might be something small and silly but could cost marks. Well done and goodluck.

JacquelineSpence (discusscontribs)

Such a well organized chapter and fits into the one I am doing perfectly (depression in athletes) - due to this I have added a link in the see also section of my chapter to your chapter. See here: https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Book/2014/Depression_in_athletes#See_Also

1Kristina1 (discusscontribs)

some comments[edit]

Hi, I think you have done a fantastic job, you seem to be going really well with the assignment and early on so fantastic, good work! I really like the layout of the chapter it is very easy to read and well thought out. All the information is very informative and gives a great insight into the topic. I like the self help part of increasing your motivation. I think it is great, if you wanted to add anything more I think putting in a link or something to show one of the tests or scales they use to diagnose depression say in a clinical setting would be good too, but I think you have done great :).

--Lucy90 (discusscontribs) 23:07, 4 October 2014 (UTC)Lucy90

Hey, I have just skimmed over some of your sub headings within your book chapter and I thought i'd let you know that it makes for a very interesting read. I like how you have explored the relationship between depression and motivation rather then depression and emotion. Within society, depression is becoming more prominent so by focusing on an individuals motivation behind the mental illness it provides more information and insight into the illness. Again great work! --Bella_wilson (discusscontribs) 4:50, 27 October 2014

Heading casing[edit]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:15, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

APA style captions for images and tables[edit]

I recommend using APA style captions i.e., Figure 1, Figure 2 etc. for all images, graphs etc. and Table 1, Table 2 etc. for all tables. The caption text should not be in italics. For more detail and examples, see http://libguides.newcastle.edu.au/content.php?pid=113807&sid=1208571 -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:12, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

minor edit[edit]

Hi, I've done a minor edit in line with what James has suggested above. I just put figure 1 and figure 2 in the photos for you. Hopefully it saves you a little bit of time :) --U3072703 (discusscontribs) 22:35, 25 October 2014 (UTC)

Thank you[edit]

A quick thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, edit and critique my chapter. Also to those who helped with pictures, syntax and the problems I was having with the table (massive thanks to U3112911 for fixing the table!!). Your legends.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

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Overall[edit]

Overall, this is a good presentation. Congratulations.

Structure and content[edit]

The structure is very clear, with a logical flow between ideas. Some important content is explored quite briefly. This could have been avoided by selecting which aspects of the chapter to present more carefully. Theory is nicely explored. Research is well integrated, although some of it does seem quite out of date. Try to be consistent with terminology (e.g. self injury vs. self harm). It may have been useful to provide a warning at the start of the presentation in relation to the discussions around suicide and self-harm.

Communication[edit]

The voice-over is well-paced, with good intonation. Some pauses between slides and ideas seem slightly too long, and break up the flow. The slides are nicely put together. An area for improvement could be to use dot points to highlight important points, rather than full sentences.

Production quality[edit]

Basic production tools are used nicely to deliver this presentation. The audio quality is good. The visuals are clear. A link back to the book chapter is provided. Copyright license is cited.

ShaunaB - Talk


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a solid, competent, comprehensive chapter. For more feedback, see my copyedits and comments below.

Theory[edit]

  1. Theory is well covered and applied, with helpful examples.

Research[edit]

  1. The chapter makes effective use of relevant research citations.
  2. Research is reasonably well covered, although more detail about key studies could be provided.
  3. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression is reasonably good, but there are several notable areas for possible improvement.
    1. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    2. Avoid first person perspective (e.g., "I") and instead write in third person perspective.
  2. Layout
    1. Tables and/or Figures were used effectively.
  3. Learning features
    1. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links
    2. Also link to chapter on amotivation
  4. Spelling is excellent.
  5. The grammar of some sentences could be (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags)
  6. APA style
    1. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    2. et. al. -> et al.
    3. Put in-text citations in alphabetical order.
    4. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)
    5. Check/correct APA style for table captions.
    6. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:46, 30 November 2014 (UTC)