Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Cultural differences in aggression

Book Chapter

You're book chapter is looking great! So easy to read too. I haven't got any suggestions for you at the moment, but will keep my eyes on your chapter and let you know.I think you're well on the right track. --U3072703 (discuss • contribs) 23:14, 13 October 2014 (UTC)

That's definitely reassuring! Thank you for the feedback :)--U3053066 (discuss • contribs) 18:03 10 October 2014 (UTC)

Word Count/Cutting Out

Hi, it's my understanding that you are nearly at the 4000 words, but still have a few more sections to add? I've read through it and I'm genuinely unsure of what to cut out as it all fits in really well! All I can suggest at this moment is that 10% extra is allowed? Maybe finish it and then I think only sentences will be able to be cut out. Only because all the sections you have seem to work and flow really well with your book chapter. I'm going to read it again and see if I can find anything though.. I'm stumped! --U3072703 (discuss • contribs) 00:00, 17 October 2014 (UTC)

Hi again, I've been thinking about how you can cut down so much over the past few days and Im wondering if you need to include the limitations of the research? Its definitely a good thing to have in there, but I'm just wondering.. I dont know the answer. Ill keep you posted though, still thinking! --U3072703 (discuss • contribs) 10:36, 19 October 2014 (UTC)

Good ideas, thank you for your efforts! I'm thinking I am going to have to change the bit on cultural and aggression around a lot because I don't think I have integrated the theories enough..U3053066 (discuss • contribs)

I'm struggling with the theories too :( Since looking at your page last it's looking amazing! Great layout! Do you mind if I check out how you did all your layout in edit mode and maybe use a few things that you've used? --U3072703 (discuss • contribs) 04:54, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

Of course! Go ahead :) U3053066 (discuss • contribs) 05:50, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:42, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

Thank you for this! U3053066 (discuss • contribs) 05:50, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

Feedback on draft so far

1. Marking will focus on content provided which addresses the question, so for most chapters (including this one), look for ways to reduce the definitional / explanatory material about the separate concepts (e.g., about aggression on its own and culture on its own) to free up room to focus on the relationship between culture and aggression (what the question is about). Links can be provided to other book chapters and/or Wikipedia articles about the more general topics e.g., aggression.
2. Use internal linking style for Wikipedia links (currently the Wikipedia links are external links).
3. Consider using more detailed captions for images which explain how they relate directly back to the question of how culture influences aggression.
4. Although the extra formatting is somewhat helpful, there is much to be said for replicating the simpler structure of Wikipedia articles, using the standard heading structure, starting with level 2 headings. So, I'd be inclined to remove the additional section headings (that don't appear in the table of contents).
5. The quiz is currently about aggression theories - but not about aggression and culture - consider moving this to the end of the chapter and rewriting to reflect the unique focus of this chapter.
6. In summary, I suggest expanding the content in the section on Culture and aggression and reducing the preceding content to introductory explanations of the key underlying concepts with links to further information.

I hope this helps - let me know if I can do anything else. Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:14, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

Super helpful! I will definitely make those changes :) U3053066 (discuss • contribs) 18:30, 22 October 2014 (UTC)

Book Chapter peer review

Hi there, your book chapter is looking really good! I am also doing my chapter in relation to culture and I am personally finding it difficult to link the topic to the book chapter theme so I've been seeing how you are linking them and so far I think you've done a pretty good job and it has helped me come up with ideas for my own, so thanks! :) I've added two links to previous book chapters related to aggression in your 'See also' section as James has mentioned this above ^. Using these links could potentially help to reduce your word count and allow for you to discuss the cultural aspects of aggression further as James mentioned. Another link which I think might be useful but didn't post on your chapter was one about violence which mentions aspects of aggression throughout, here is a link to it and you can add it to your chapter if you feel it relates Violence or https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Textbook/Motivation/Violence. Good luck! :) U3081383 (discuss • contribs) 01:49, 22 October 2014 (UTC)

Thank you so much for this feedback! It has been super helpful :) Glad that my page could assist you! U3053066 (discuss • contribs) 18:30, 22 October 2014 (UTC)

APA style captions for images and tables

Great to see APA style captions being used for figures. Remember to put e.g., Figure 1. in italics. For more detail and examples, see http://libguides.newcastle.edu.au/content.php?pid=113807&sid=1208571 -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:07, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

Brilliant! Thank you --U3053066 (discuss • contribs) 18:30, 22 October 2014 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

Overall Overall, this is a nicely delivered presentation. Well done! Structure and content The structure is good. Theories are well integrated and clearly articulated. Research is also very nicely incorporated. This gives the presentation a good academic quality. The conclusion was concise and useful. Content is nicely selection. An area for improvement could be to increase the practicality of the presentation. Communication Communication is good. The slides are nicely put together, but could have included more images or figures to make them more engaging. The voice-over is well-paced, with good intonation and pauses between slides. Production quality Basic production tools are used. The audio quality is adequate, with some peaking and 'fuzz'. The visuals are clear. A link to the book chapter is provided. No copyright license information is provided.

ShaunaB - Talk

Response to feedback

Thank you for the feedback. The copyright information is provided on the last slide under the references --U3053066 (discuss • contribs) 14:57, 16 November 2014 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent chapter in all respects. It is particuarly well structured and well-written and makes excellent use of the Wikiversity environment. For more feedback, see my copyedits and comments below. Theory Excellent coverage of relevant theoretical perspective. The theories of aggression section could be summarised, so as to focus more on the target topic - cultural influences on aggression. In so doing, rationalise/emphasise the theoretical perspectives that are most relevant to the research discussed. Research Excellent coverage of relevant research. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Written expression Written expression The chapter benefited from a well developed Overview and Conclusion. Avoid starting so many sentences with a source's author or date, unless this is particularly pertinent. Provide the citation at the end of the sentence instead. The quality of written expression could be improved where clarification templates have been added to the page. Learning features The chapter provides an excellent range of relevant links to other Wikiversity pages. Links to Wikipedia articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links The way that quizzes are used to test understanding of theory based on specific studies is an excellent and interesting feature. Quiz 1 / Question 1 doesn't seem to have a culturally relevant answer? Spelling, grammar and proofreading were excellent. Layout Figures were used effectively. Perhaps more relevant images and/or tables could be included. APA style was excellent.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:21, 26 November 2014 (UTC)