Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Chocolate and mood

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:20, 20 October 2014 (UTC)

Hedonism

Hey! I noticed you mentioned hedonism, which I am looking at for my chapter too, and I was finding it a bit difficult to find stuff until I found this: http://pq.2004.tripod.com/happiness_three_traditional_theories.pdf I thought it might help you out a bit! N.matthews3500 (discuss • contribs) 09:01, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

Thanks Nicola, I will incorporate this in - it makes me pleased I can talk a little bit more about happiness theories. U3083503 (discuss • contribs) 09:35, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

Chocolate and Mood

I found another article that might be interesting to you about chocolate and mood: http://www.sciencedirect.com.ezproxy.canberra.edu.au/science/article/pii/S016503270600084X# I know it's not specific to happiness, which is what you are focusing on, but you might find some interesting information! N.matthews3500 (discuss • contribs) 11:56, 22 October 2014 (UTC)

APA style captions for images and tables

I recommend using APA style captions i.e., Figure 1, Figure 2 etc. for all images, graphs etc. and Table 1, Table 2 etc. for all tables. The caption text should not be in italics. For more detail and examples, see http://libguides.newcastle.edu.au/content.php?pid=113807&sid=1208571 -- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:28, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

Referencing

The chapter looks great! I did notice you have referenced Kringelback & Berridge, 2009 for hedonism theory, this however is not in your reference list.

Good luck

I also noticed that you spelt it as 'Kringelbach' the first two times and then as 'Kringelback' the other three times. N.matthews3500 (discuss • contribs) 06:46, 25 October 2014 (UTC)

Final Draft Edit

Overall, this is a really good chapter, well done! Here are just a few suggestions though:

• Your concept checks are great, however, I don't think it's necessary to have one for the chocolate section, as all of it is pretty straight forward. I think this will also help in getting you back into the word count.

• Essentially, the theory suggests that serotonin is directly related with mood, and thus the result in depressive disorders when serotonin levels become too low (Deacon & Baird, 2009). - You may want to just edit this sentence.

• Further evidence that suggests that carbohydrates are influential in the elevation of serotonin levels in the body is that which exists in order to develop the serotonergic hypothesis, a popular theory amongst researchers today regarding the self-medication using chocolate (Parker et al., 2006). - This one too. :)

• In your last concept check, you say "the reader", but since the reader is currently reading it, you should probably change it to "you".

Also, I made some minor grammatical edits (mainly adding commas) and deleted an instances where you repeated yourself, but I didn't make any major changes. Let me know if you need any more editing/clarification!

By the way, I love the fact that you drew your own pictures to explain the tricky biological bits - it made it so much easier to understand! Great job! :) N.matthews3500 (discuss • contribs) 14:00, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall This is an exceptionally good job that is a great example/model for others. Theory Theory is well covered, with an excellent use of happiness theory and neuropsychological views about the mechanisms involved. Research Excellent use is made of indepth knowledge about relevant research, in a user-friendly manner. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Written expression Written expression is excellent; the chapter is well structured and professionally written, with a clear Overview and Conclusion. Learning features Add more interwiki links to make the text more interactive. Some Wikiversity links were added - change these to internal links. Great that you created your own diagrams - make them bigger on the page. Add more images to make the page more attractive. Spelling, grammar and proofreading were excellent. APA style was excellent.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 01:04, 19 November 2014 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

Overall Overall, this is an engaging and interesting presentation - well done. Structure and content A well designed and organised presentation. The presentation provides good overall coverage of the relationship between chocolate and mood with more than adequate research linkage, however, only a small focus on related theory. This section of the presentation could have been improved significantly by utilizing more than one slide to review the three theories and by drawing on and covering more of the theory related content that is covered in the book chapter. Logical flow between concepts is provided. An overview and summary of the presentation is also provided. Communication An engaging presentation style which displays clear communication of ideas using voice and image. The presentation of audio material is generally well-paced. The use of illustrative examples, colour, diagrams and imagery throughout the entire presentation were extremely effective. Changing the colour of the text used on slides which combine a dark background and with dark text would improve the readability of slides, as would using more variation in tone and pitch of voice. Production quality The presentation had good picture and audio quality and demonstrated effective use of a basic production tool to communicate ideas. Audio quality could have been improved by using a louder voice at a bigger distance from the microphone due to some echo/vibration that occurs after speaking. Picture/visual quality could have been enhanced by shrinking the size of some text boxes on slides which blur the text. A creative commons license and standard youtube licensing is provided. A link is provided to and from the book chapter. A reference list was provided.

RenaeLN (discuss • contribs) 07:02, 21 November 2014 (UTC)