Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Biopsychological theory of personality and motivation

more feedback

Hi again!! I was checking back to check on your progress and I would like to mention a few things;

- I indented your references for you! :)

- I have made some edits on ur paragraph structure

- i think maybe you should move your 'test you knowledge section to before the 'see also' section as this is meant to be just an extra part of the chapter after all your info. Perhaps you can move it to before your conclusion as your conclusion should sum up your whole chapter.

- i also put in a title 'external links' as thats where the links you added are meant to go for a better structure and easier to understand for readers.

- another suggest is you may want to make some changes to the 'see also' section as there is a lot of information in there when it is not necessary. see also should include other relevant book chapters and wiki links relevant to your chapter. I dont think you need to put in a summary of what the links are about

hope this helps 

Brookelouise23 (discuss • contribs) 12:22, 1 November 2014 (UTC)brookelouise23Brookelouise23 (discuss • contribs) 12:22, 1 November 2014 (UTC)

feedback and tips

Hi there! - I have made quite a few edits on your chapter in regards to your in text references. Just for future reference when citing a source with multiple authors be careful where you place commas and '&' signs. for example quite frequently you were writing like this - (Ryan, & Deci, 2000) however APA formatting is like this - (Ryan & Deci, 2000) without the extra comma you had after Ryan. I know this is a small thing but it does count towards your APA formatting so I thought id fix it up and let you know.

Also In your text you had written a reference like this - Author & Author (year) ... - however when written like this you replace the '&' with the word 'and'. Another referencing mistake i noticed was you were citing references like this - (Author, et al, year) - which is meant to look like this (Author et al., year)

Sorry to sound piccy but its always good to know correct formating so you dont lose any marks where you could have simply avoided it. :)

One more thing I edited was under your graph and picture the caption was highlighted in red, and when hovering a mouse over it it read 'link does not exist' this is because you had placed '[[ ]]' around the word figure 1 instead the '[[ ]]' are only placed at the beginning of the file and the end. Perhaps you were trying to italicize? in which you would press the 'I' above the editing box where you can also select a heading size. it is basically two apostrophes.

Also with your Figure 1 graph perhaps you want to mention this somewhere in the text so that the reader knows what it is apart from the caption you have provided? just a thought.

hope some of this helps!

Brookelouise23 (discuss • contribs) 09:46, 31 October 2014 (UTC)brookelouise23Brookelouise23 (discuss • contribs) 09:46, 31 October 2014 (UTC)

Hi :)

As I am ignorant to this topic, I think it could be a good idea to consider the position of the first image. As its the first thing I see It doesn't make sense to me- maybe place it after or beside information explaining what is happening in the graph?

Also consider maybe putting your overview as the first heading?

I read that with headings you don't put capitals so

BIS and BAS and how Motivation is incorporated should be

BIS and BAS and how motivation is incorporated etc

I noticed some of the sentences could change their structure which might add better flow and expression

for example you wrote

There are however many different types of motivation, and this is what helps us to understand why people may pursue certain tasks (Ryan & Deci, 2000)

This could be changed to

However, there are many types of motivation and this is what helps us understand why people may pursue certain tasks (Ryan & Deci, 2000)

You could also consider changing the name of some of your titles, to be shorter and more concise for example

How does BIS and BAS affect our Personality and the influence it has on Motivation

could be changed to just 'Personality'

Before submitting just run through a few times to check any spelling and grammatical errors. For example I noticed

As cited in Reeve (2009) below is some examples of questionnaire items:

'is' should be 'are'

Adding tables could also be considered as it breaks up all the info for the reader

Also, as far as i know, for APA you need to also add an indent to your references

Really great chapter topic, interesting and i'm glad i've finally read one i knew nothing about :)

Looking forward to reading it when you finish! Good luck!

p.s I also have an extension so feel free to leave contribution on my page too which is 'Serotonin and emotion'

U3068453 (discuss • contribs)

Suggestion

Hi there :)

Great to see that you've gotten such a good start on your book chapter so far! The topics seems really interesting and I can't wait to read the final edit. Seems like you've got a good understanding of the underlying theories and psychological research regarding how these theories influence abnormal psychology, like addictive drug taking behaviours and that. I guess a suggestion could be that you could consider looking further into any research regarding normal psychology, or somehow apply the mentioned theories to everyday life situations that are more personal to the readers, as this is included in the book chapter guidelines under the theory section. Here is a sweet TEDtalks video I came across a while ago, it sort of helped me personally in my struggle with motivation to do a lot of things. Its quite lengthy so I don't expect you to watch the whole thing unless you might find also find some personal gain in it. Around the 10 minute mark she starts talking about behavioural activation energy. This may or may not help with relating parts of the theories you have already mentioned to every day living. Here is the link: F--- YOU -- how to stop screwing yourself over: Mel Robbins at TEDxSF. Plus I love the title of the video. :) Anyways, looking forward to a fantastic read.

All the best for your chapter, keep up the good work :) U3084402 (discuss • contribs) 04:40, 15 October 2014 (UTC)

Hi

Your chapter is looking great, and I'm really impressed that you've got so much done. I noticed that your first line under 'What is Motivation' appears to introduce the sentence and also conclude it with 'what motivation is'. I was wondering if it would read a little better if you only used that as the intro or conclusion. Also, the picture is great (I love a good graph!), but I had trouble reading it. I was wondering if it would be better if it was a bit bigger, and maybe also positioned further down on the page (maybe after the paragraphs BIS & BAS).

Looking forward to reading your final version!

Chelsi CFD (discuss • contribs) 03:40, 17 October 2014 (UTC)

APA style captions for images and tables

I recommend using APA style captions i.e., Figure 1, Figure 2 etc. for all images, graphs etc. and Table 1, Table 2 etc. for all tables. The caption text should not be in italics. For more detail and examples, see http://libguides.newcastle.edu.au/content.php?pid=113807&sid=1208571 -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:04, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

feedback / suggestion

Hi there, your topic looks very interesting. Maybe some ways to apply these BIS/ BAS theories into someones life might be to take a test to determine what they are, and outline how learning or finding greater motivation can be facilitated with the type they came out with in the test.

Feris91 (discuss • contribs) 15:34, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

Overall Overall, this was a basic but insightful presentation - well done. Structure and content The presentation provides good overall coverage of how BIS and BAS help to explain motivation however the content itself is somewhat dry (academic) and could be made more interesting e.g., by using a case study or examples. As there is quite a lot of content covered an overview slide or initial explanation of the presentation's structure would be helpful to the viewer. There is a solid focus on related research and theory throughout the presentation and a logical flow between concepts explained. The presentation could be strengthened by recapping how BIS and BAS help to explain motivation in more detail at the end of the presentation as well as providing the audience with a take-home message. Communication Communication is ok (slightly static audio recording) and generally well-paced, however slightly rushed at the end (last slide is cut off). The visual presentation is very basic yet effective in communicating content. It could however have been improved significantly by using images and other illustrative examples – this would make the presentation more engaging. There was quite a lot of verbal audio material compared to visual material in the slides, more of a balance (e.g., slightly less audio material spoken more slowly with richer use of visual aids) and less scripted text read aloud could make for a more interesting presentation. # Production quality Production quality and tools used (screencast) were basic, but effective. Sound quality was good, however there was some background "white noise" and static in the recording. The presentation has a creative commons license. There is no reference list provided. There is a link to the book chapter provided in the description. A link is also provided from the book chapter to the presentation.

RenaeLN (discuss • contribs) 02:06, 21 November 2014 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this chapter provides sufficient, basic coverage of the key concepts. It could be improved by providing more detail. For more feedback, see these copyedits and comments below. Theory The section on I-E motivation could be abbreviated, with interwiki links to further information. The relationship between BIS/BAS and I-E motivation needs to be better explained/justified. Alternatively, drop this theory. BIS/BAS theory is reasonably well described. Research Research coverage is sufficient, but more detail would be desirable. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Written expression Written expression The Overview and Conclusion sections could be improved by adding more detail. An example or case study may helpful. The Conclusion could be improved by providing some more concrete, take-home messages. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. Some sentences are overly long. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., where clarification templates have been added to the page). Layout A couple of images were used. No tables were used. Learning features The chapter makes excellent use of interwiki links. Quiz questions are used effectively to encourage reader engagement. Grammar and proofreading The grammar of some sentences needs improvement (e.g., see the tags) Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals') APA style Add APA style captions to tables and figures. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10) The APA style for reference list is very good. Remove issue numbers for seriated journal references.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:02, 8 December 2014 (UTC)