Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Anger and motivation

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Bits and pieces[edit source]

Hi, nice chapter and content. I've had a few ideas and found a few things that could help with the overall presentation of the chapter (listed below) that you might want to incorporate. I also completely APA formatted your reference list (although I wasn't sure what to do with one of the authors who had a Jnr. title, so you best check that one up yourself). Good luck!

  • I think it would be interesting to have in the overview or introduction a little mention that anger happens to be the most prevalent day-to-day emotion, thus giving your presentation a more X-factor because it's such a big part of human life.
  • I highly recommend you use some picture in your presentation to add to the general look of it. If you don't know how there's a moodle forum on it here:
  • Many times when you use the et al. reference system in a sentence you use a comma straight after, such as “According to Carver et al., (2009)”. Now im not 100% sure on this one but I think that it’s not supposed to have a comma after it. Best to check it up!
  • Your “definitional” paragraphs for both anger and motivation seem to be too bullet-pointy, if you know what I mean. There are just single, sentences that don't really flow together. I think you should incorporate all those definitions and symptoms of anger into one coherent paragraph to help improve the feel - or simply present them as bullet points perhaps.
  • Where you have stated that: "There are positive outcomes from anger such as determination and motivation. (Kassinove, H, 1995)" I think you should definitely go into a bit more detail in this section as it seems like a very interesting point and it leaves the reader wondering a little bit.
  • There are a lot of times you have accidentally ended the sentence and then put the reference in, such as: "Anger consists of multiple components. (Darwin, C, 1965)" - It's a very easy thing to miss but I think it would be devastating to lose marks for a simple full stop in the wrong place!
  • Another referencing thing, here: “Robinson & Price (1982) studied the…” - I think you should be using the word ‘and’ rather than the ‘&’.
  • "...the individual will either use approach or avoid behaviour depending on the environment and situation." This sentence should say avoidance instead of avoid, I think.
  • "Carver and White (1994) developed the BAS (behavioural activation system) and BIS (behavioural inhibition system) to measure incentive and threat sensitivity..." - I think it would be important to mention that they developed the SCALES to measure this, not the BIS and BAS itself, as I thought those terms referred to underlying neural stuff that regulate behaviour.
  • "Veling (2012) and colleagues" - Here I think sticking to et al. or including the entire citation would be best.
  • "Associating anger with rewarding stimuli increases reward sensitivity (Ford et al., 2010)" - You've kind of just thrown this sentence in there without a context or introduction. It’s a little awkward to read. Perhaps replace that sentence somewhere in the paragraph or reword it a little.

Joelthebaws (discusscontribs) 15:18, 24 October 2014 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Comments[edit source]


Just thought I would provide you with a reference in terms of the role of anger and anxiety on motivation. It may be useful -depending on whether you choose to talk about a particular age group. Good luck with your chapter! :) --U3054867 (discusscontribs) 02:07, 20 October 2014 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Hey, i came across this when looking for information for a different assignment, thought it might be an interesting read. Lucydiamond1008 (discusscontribs) 02:30, 21 October 2014 (UTC)lucydiamond1008Reply[reply]

Heading casing[edit source]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:20, 23 October 2014 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Heading formatting[edit source]

I suggest removing bold from the headings; just use the default font etc. to help keep the chapter layouts consistent with one another and Wikipedia -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:21, 23 October 2014 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Feedback[edit source]

Hey there, as someone who is also talking anger, I found this an interesting and different view about aggressive behaviour compared to my chapter! I liked how you defined the several different types of anger, and how it can be relatable to criminal activity. Again, I am a fan of including a quiz at the end of the book chapter - I hope to do this myself. It provides an interesting way to ensure your reader is understanding your book chapter efficiently, as well as learning all about your topic! --U3069714 (discusscontribs) 07:34, 26 October 2014 (UTC)Reply[reply]

General feedback[edit source]

  • Segway from Motivation to anger and the relationship between the two could have been summarized in fewer paragraphs – definitions of motivation are relevant but perhaps not required to be so long especially considering it is a chapter which is latter.
  • sentence structure could be aimed more at readers less accustomed to scholar writing. Overly complex sentences which at times do not give an argument/point
  • paragraphs change in size and some do not make sense.
  • no constructive examples??

U3014122 (discusscontribs) 00:31, 3 November 2014 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.


Overall[edit source]

A clear and thorough summary of the book chapter - congratulations.

Structure and content[edit source]

The structure is clear, and is well defined at the beginning of the presentation. Theory and research are well integrated throughout. Motivation is a heavy focus of the presentation. An area for improvement could be to focus more heavily on research and theory around anger. Illustrative examples are referred to, but not explored within the presentation.

Communication[edit source]

Communication is quite good. The voice-over uses good expression, but is too fast throughout. The slides are informative and put forward important information. Images and figures could be incorporated in order to further explain concepts and make the presentation more engaging.

Production quality[edit source]

Basic production tools are used effectively. Audio is clear, with minimal background noise, although could have been slightly louder. Visual quality is good. A link back to the book chapter is provided. The correct copyright license information is provided.

ShaunaB - Talk

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. This chapter provides a basic overview of the motivational role of anger. For feedback, see my copyedits and comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Much of the motivational theories discussed are general/broad and are not sufficiently related to the topic (anger).

Research[edit source]

  1. Several interesting research studies were discussed.
  2. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags
  3. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    2. Avoid starting so many sentences with a source's author or date, unless this is particularly pertinent. Provide the citation at the end of the sentence instead.
    3. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., where clarification templates have been added to the page).
  2. The chapter flow could be improved by providing more linking sentences between sections.
    1. The chapter would benefit from a more developed Overview and Conclusion, with clearer focus question(s) (Overview) and take-home self-help message for each focus question (Conclusion).#Layout
    2. Use standard Level heading 2 followed by Level 3 etc.
  3. Learning features
    1. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links
    2. Three figures were included; more figures and tables could be helpful.
    3. The text could become more interactive by including interwiki links.
  4. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of some sentences need to be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags)
  5. APA style
    1. Check/correct APA style for in-text citations
    2. Check/correct APA style for secondary citations
    3. Check/correct APA style for direct quotation
    4. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    5. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)
    6. The reference list APA style is very good. Check capitalisation.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:24, 1 December 2014 (UTC)Reply[reply]