Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2011/Sleep and happiness

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Please add comments and feedback. Happy to receive any. Thanks. (Benk 07:34, 23 October 2011 (UTC))

Comments[edit]

Hey there, thanks for your comments on my page! Your outline is looking good and I particularly LOVE the picture you have use. Coming from someone who needs lots of sleep to function, I'm really interested to read your chapter once it's completed. ShaunaB 03:02, 29 October 2011 (UTC)

Hi Ben your page is looking great mate! I particularily love the graphs.. very good way of getting complicated material across. The outline looks really interesting too! I really like how you have broken sleep down to different sections. Maybe you could elaborate on a few more sleep disorders such as hypersomnia and the effects on happiness :)(Psych 125 12:51, 30 October 2011 (UTC))

Hey, really interesting topic! Looking forward to reading more! Feel free to link to my facial expression page when you get to that part! Would be interested to learn if humans actually need 8 hours of sleep per night, or if that's actually just a myth? Tashc 09:01, 31 October 2011 (UTC)

This is fantastic work - a really great lay out & illustrations (loved the Van Gogh) - congratulations - very well done - Magnolia

Hi there, I am really looking forward to reading your final version! I love sleeping! An extra 10minutes always feels like heaven! I agree with Tashc, I am also interested in learning whether human really need 8 hours of sleep per night. Good luck with the rest, will make more suggestions once you upload more :) SKM1501 03:29, 02 November 2011 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this chapter provides a good overview of the psychological functional of sleep and its relation to emotion and, to some extent, with happiness. The chapter would benefit from expanding the focus on the sleep and happiness relationship, particularly as this is the main purpose of the chapter. The section on sleep disorders could be significantly reduced or approached differently - is the implication here that disorders reduce happiness and that sleep problems could cause these disorders - or vice-versa - or both? (It doesn't seem to me that this section, in particular, is clearly addressing the point the chapter - sleep and happiness. The therapy section seems to contain a mixture of psychological therapies and sleep therapies. More conceptual clarity is needed here.)

Theory[edit]

  1. A wide range of theory is presented (good), but too little related directly to sleep and happiness (to improve) - make sure content and structure follows the purpose and explains its relation to the purpose in a disciplined and clear manner

Research[edit]

  1. Research studies are well utilised in general, but there could be more focused on the sleep and happiness relationship
  2. Size of effects is indicated for many studies (good).
  3. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. Some statements could be explained more clearly - see the [explain?] tags
    2. The chapter could have benefited from a more developed Introduction and Summary, with clear focus questions (Introduction) and a clear take-home self-help message for each focus question (Summary).
    3. Getting early comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped to improve the chapter.
    4. Avoid directional referencing e.g., "As previously mentioned"
    5. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
  2. Learning features
    1. Interwiki links are effectively utilised
    2. Images are well utilised; captions could be expanded
      1. Nice self-portrait - well done on creating your own image :)
    3. External links are useful
  3. Spelling, grammar and proofreading
    1. This aspect was a little untidy and is a notable aspect which can be improved.
    2. Use Australian spelling e.g., hypothesize -> hypothesise
    3. The grammar for some sentences could be improved - see the [grammar?] tags
  4. APA style
    1. Numbers under 10 should be written in words e.g. five
    2. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    3. In-text citations were well used.
    4. APA style of references is excellent.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:12, 28 November 2011 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this presentation makes effective use of self-video with the author in bed (waking up from sleep) as an effective motif. The presentation is also notable for its interviewing of a sleep disorders expert. The content could have been more clearly focused on the connection between and happiness (and less on sleep disorders and brain wave states).

Structure and content[edit]

  1. In the general introduction, perhaps highlight self-help focus questions
  2. The link between sleep brain wave states etc. and happiness is not clearly established (what is the connection?)
  3. The interview with the expert about sleep disorders added particular interest; again though the focus seems to be on sleep disorders, whilst more could have been made of the sleep-happiness connection.
  4. Summary/take-home messages?

Communication[edit]

  1. Overall, the presentation effectively uses a variety of media to convey an understanding of sleep and its effects on happiness.
  2. Accompanying text over the video image was effective
  3. Maybe slow down the audio to allow key points to sink in

Production quality[edit]

  1. Provide sources and licenses for presented images
  2. Thanks for licensing the presentation under a Creative Commons Attribution license (also change the license from standard youtube to indicate this)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:15, 10 December 2011 (UTC)