Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2011/Nature and psychological well-being

From Wikiversity
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Comments[edit source]

Hi Noodles&Wedges,

I added a contents section for you. Feel free to remove it if you like. - JayAr 00:40, 25 October 2011 (UTC) Scratch that. I meant a key points box. The box can be used for other stuff, but I wrote key points as an example. - JayAr 00:45, 25 October 2011 (UTC) I also found a book that might be worth checking out. It's called 'The Injured Islanders'. It's about the influence of art upon happiness and nature. It's a google book but it might give you some ideas. - JayAr 01:40, 25 October 2011 (UTC) It's just a boring formatting thing. Your references cross over into the picture at the bottom. Might need to bump the text over a little bit. - JayAr 11:50, 3 November 2011 (UTC)

Hey James, Thanks for that. I didn't end up looking at the book because I had so much other stuff to cover. Thanks for the suggestion though. Noodles&Wedges 04:53, 6 November 2011 (UTC)

great plan em!! its such an interesting topic and i cant wait to read more, your plan makes where you are heading very clear! Courtney.reis 09:48, 26 October 2011 (UTC)

Hey em, I just fixed up the reference list a bit for you by adding the relevant paragraph breaks. Feel free to discard this change if you were going for something else. Jackson997 22:46, 1 November 2011 (UTC)

No problems re: the stealing of the box - looks great! And your page in general also looks great! ShaunaB 00:47, 2 November 2011 (UTC)

As requested, I have read through the introduction section of your article. I can't suggest any improvements for that, as I think it opens the topic well, is thorough, and clearly written. I have noticed the font for the quote is much too thick, though this may just be my computer. The table of contents uses the "Use nature to improve your life" heading too much, so I'd suggest that in the body of your article, you make this just bold font instead of a heading. Finally, the title for the introduction section is a little too wordy. I'd suggest just calling it "Introduction", and making a subheading for the rest of the text. Thanks Jackson997 02:31, 2 November 2011 (UTC)

Hi, Your Book Chapter looks absolutely stunning!! The content is also good, and I agree with James' comment, there is so much you could cover - you are in danger of writing a book, not just a BC. I hope you do complete the section on Nature Deficit Disorder... The title sounds ludicrous but in our day and age I believe the majority of us don't take the time to "stop and smell the roses". Crazydaisy 03:48, 3 November 2011 (UTC) Thank you Crazydaisy for your comments. I ended up with almost 4500 words but there was so much more I wanted to cover. Will leave it for my honour thesis. Noodles&Wedges 04:57, 6 November 2011 (UTC)

Your chapter looks fantastic! I really like the picture and colour scheme you have through out, it flows really nicely. A-bryant 06:13, 3 November 2011 (UTC)

Hey Emily :-) I was showing your page to my dad on his big screen computer and thought of something you could do to improve it: maybe add some spaces before and after the headings to break up the text a bit to make it look easier to read. Webpages always benefit from having a lot of white (blank) space. KristaLeanne 07:04, 3 November 2011 (UTC) Maybe just condense the SAD a little but I think you should still keep it. KristaLeanne 12:28, 3 November 2011 (UTC) EEEEE yours looks so finished!! I'm jealous!! Also your new arrangement of the pictures looks a lot better. Please leave me some feedback tomorrow Emily :-) I'm going to work on my page until about midnight and then I have to finish the rest tomorrow after work ;-) KristaLeanne 09:54, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

Thanks Krista, I added a bit more space and condensed SAD a little. I commented on your page just a while ago. Just add some piccys and the other topics you still need to write about. Noodles&Wedges 04:53, 6 November 2011 (UTC) Thanks! How's your word count going now?? KristaLeanne 08:04, 6 November 2011 (UTC)

Hey, I like all the colours :). Only thing I don't particularly like is the lime green border round the quote and the quiz, not sure why, i think it just looks odd to me. Oh and just noticed you have a random little picture in your quiz that doesn't seem to belong to anything (above pair 3). Also in your Restorative Environment section, the picture doesn't have a caption, as all others did, wasn't sure if this one was suppose to as well. Overall, sounds and looks great. Good luck with it Mlac 12:04, 5 November 2011 (UTC) Hi, I have considered your opinion on the colour scheme and I have decided to leave it as YellowGreen because others have liked the colour scheme and it links with the pictures, thank you for your opinion however. I don't know which image is in the wrong place, I can't see it. Which is odd. I have fixed up all my captions now. Thank you Noodles&Wedges 04:53, 6 November 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the comment, I might actually do that. You're page is looking great! Jackson997 00:19, 6 November 2011 (UTC) Oh btw, I believe your page is at roughly 4500 words, so you should probably consider cutting down somewhere. I'd probably suggest nature deficit disorder, but it's up to you of course. Jackson997 00:23, 6 November 2011 (UTC) It's 4503 words. I will chop it down by 10 or so Noodles&Wedges 02:17, 6 November 2011 (UTC)

Wikipedia links[edit source]

That's great that you're adding links to relevant Wikipedia articles. I've tweaked the first couple so they are interwiki links. e.g., to link to the article about Australia use [[w:Australia|Australia]]. Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:52, 1 November 2011 (UTC) Thank you for that James, I thought it was a bit odd that they were coming up as external links. Noodles&Wedges 07:15, 1 November 2011 (UTC)

Wow your chapter has come along Em! Very visually pleasing. I love the theories you have included, they make quite a challenging topic very scientific and interesting. I would maybe include a few studies if there are many about? I would love to see some of the research on the topics you are discussing. Great job, you need to show me how to wikify with boxes and whatnot hehe :) Courtney.reis 05:03, 2 November 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the giving me access to the colour box code and the code for linking to other pages ;-)

Great page!! And a lot of in-depth content. However, just a note on the layout - the 'which pair do you like' pictures down the right hand side, is there anyway to condence them, as they are leaving a large blank space on the page. I dont actually know how to fix it as i have not become very wiki smart...but just a thought :) LanaJ 02:18, 6 November 2011 (UTC) Thanks, that only appears when using internet explorer and not firefox (which is what I use). I have asked James which browser he will be using and I am hoping that he will understand that I did not mean for it to have a large white gap on the page. I don't know how to change it so that they are the same in all browsers, not sure that is possible. Noodles&Wedges 03:06, 6 November 2011 (UTC)

Draft comments[edit source]

From a quick look - a couple of quick comments:

  1. Overall - I like the scope/problem/structure and the quality of content. The challenge might well be having to leave out some interesting content - so be prepared to be a little bit ruthless in the final drafting in order to concentrate on what you consider to be the key themes/messages.
  2. Love the effort to find embedded practical implications/applications.
  3. Activity - Sensory Awareness Inventory could be of interest -

Great pictures - interesting information - I used to live in North Queensland & the rainforests are magic - way to go! - well done & congratulations - Magnolia Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:51, 2 November 2011 (UTC)

References[edit source]

Some of the lit. review in Mackay and Neill (2010) could be useful - Green_exercise#References. See also email. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:51, 2 November 2011 (UTC)

!-- Official feedback -->

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Wikiuutiset logo typewriter.png

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, there is a lot to like about this chapter. Perhaps most notably, this chapter really embraces the self-help book chapter exercise, and presents a very interesting and readable resource with many practical applications. They are almost jumping out of the page Smiley.svg. Theory is well covered and well supported by carefully selected research studies. The main areas for improvement could be in the clarity of some aspects of the written expression (see suggested copyedits) and perhaps at the beginning, there could be a more concerted establishment of focus questions or problem(s) to be solved. Perhaps also mention some of the negative risks associated with exposure to nature e.g., fear.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Relevant theories are well-covered. It is a bit of a Cook's tour (lacking in overall cohesion), but this also reflects the nature of the topic to some extent.
  2. Practical applications are offered for each theoretical perspective.

Research[edit source]

  1. Impressive, accessible descriptions are key research studies are provided and related back to theory.
  2. Check dates for "1st of May and October 20th for the year 1972 to 1981."

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. The chapter could have benefited from developing clear focus questions relating to the self-help book theme. The focus emerges as the chapter develops.
    2. Generally, well-written academic content, as well accessible self-help style. I made some copyedits, though, which may suggest some ways to improve clarity of expression.
    3. Some paragraphs were overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    4. Well done on progressively getting comments on the chapter plan and draft. Clearly, these were used to help improve the chapter.
    5. Avoid directional referencing e.g., "As previously mentioned"
  2. Learning features
    1. Fabulous use of relevant wiki-links
    2. Excellent practical suggestions and tips
    3. Images, colour, and tables all added further value.
  3. Spelling, grammar and proofreading
    1. Check gendered language e.g., man-made -> human-made
  4. Use Australian spelling e.g., hypothesize -> hypothesise
  5. APA style
    1. In-text citations were effectively used.
    2. Reference list is in very good APA style format - some minor corrections were suggested; more could be checked/made

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:50, 25 November 2011 (UTC)

Thank you for the feedback James. Biophobia would have been interesting to discuss, but I did not have enough room. Something to look at in the thesis perhaps. Noodles&Wedges 12:41, 25 November 2011 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an interesting, engaging, interview-style overview of the book chapter about nature and well-being.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Very knowledgeable understanding of the content demonstrated
  2. Content is well organised.
  3. Well done on focusing on take-home Structure and content - excellent

Communication[edit source]

  1. The content is communicated well through a cripted Q&A interview
  2. Perhaps speak more slowly and cover less content, allowing the ideas to sink in.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Production quality is high overall, particularly given the challenges in lighting and sound when shooting outside on a windy day
  2. Audio wasn't quite syncced with video?
  3. Consider releasing the video under a Creative Commons license.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:35, 11 December 2011 (UTC)