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Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2011/Managing life change

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Latest comment: 12 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comments

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You have some interesting information in your chapter, great effort to have got so far. I have some thoughts for your chapter, I was initially thinking of doing this topic I hope you find this helpful. Self-determination theory for intrinsic goals and automated motivation maybe highly relevant, you could go with incremental theory (Dweck)also motivation, for managing challenges self-efficacy or some CBT (core beliefs) may provide insight and maybe a stress scale for life transitions. Maybe mentioning too managing expected changes, eg ageing and unexpected changes, Hope this helps (Susann 05:02, 1 November 2011 (UTC))Reply

Hey there. I really like how you've covered managing change - although I understood implicitly that managing change is difficult, I've not thought about it in this much depth before. I like the part where you talk about depression as being beneficial during adolesence, almost as an adaptive function to help one realise which goals are worth directing energy towards. It reminds me of some of the evolutionary psychology stuff I've read; which basically covers off on why from an evolutionary perspective, some psychopathologies were adaptive back in the "cave man" days. Really interesting topic - I shall look forward to seeing the finished product :-). TabithaJ 08:45, 1 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Your chapter is looking very thorough. You have covered a lot of interesting content :) related chapters you may want to provide links for may be feedback, handling stress, and growth through adversity. Nice job :) some pictures/diagrams and other learning features may help break up the text a bit :) AngeM 23:05, 2 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Hey, firstly I love the colours also I like how you draw the reader in and make them think it's really creative. I really wanted to read it and learn more about the topic and you did this really well. The colour and getting the reader to think about themself is really good. Well done Rednoodles 00:40, 6 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Draft comments

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I've had a quick look - here's some suggestions:

  • Overall - general structure looks good - look to enhance/develop and draw in the conclusion a few key themes/recommendations - look make these resonate e.g., through accompanying images/headings etc.
  • Crystallisation of desire - how does this differ from crystallisation of discontent?
  • Include review/content/findings from key article: Heatherton and Nichols (1994): http://wilderdom.com/psychology/articles/PersonalAccountsOfSuccessfulVsFailedLifeChange.html
  • Baumeister, R. F. (1994) is cited heavily, but appears to be a secondary reference/citation? Did you consult the primary source?
  • Paragraph length - some paragraphs are overly long - look to communicate one idea per paragraph using three to five sentences.

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:11, 2 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

thanks James, I'm in the process of modifying it. Baumeister (1994) is a chapter in an editied book, perhaps I've referenced it incorrectly. However, given what I've read he was the 'founder' of crystallisaiton of discontent so it seemed adequate for me to reference him for that. however, I will search for more work regarding crystallisation of discontnet and desire to make it appear a little more balanced. Kindest regards, Sarah U3033746 01:30, 3 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

G'day. This is an excellent looking chapter on what is a truly interesting topic. Great idea... kind of wish I'd thought of it myself. Regards U895075 02:06, 3 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Comment by Magnolia - you should get this published in a magazine - send it in - great article - excellent presentation and research

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an enjoyable and rewarding chapter. It is well drafted and solidly based on relevant theory and research, with effective use of additional learning features (images, examples, and links to further resources). The main areas for improvement are in the grammar and quality of written expression.
  1. A wide range of relevant theoretical elements are incorporated around the central theme of the challenge of managing life change.
  2. The summary could be more bold in offering an actual synthesis of these theoretical perspectives.
  1. Research studies were well utilised, with some evidence of critical perspectives.
  2. Perhaps a more extensive summary of the findings of Heatherton et al. could be provided (e.g., in a table or a list). I was a bit puzzled/curious that micronarratives were emphasised as a form of life change intervention are suggested, rather than the distinguishing features of successful vs. unsuccessful attempts at life change.
  1. Written expression
    1. The chapter could have benefited from a more developed Introduction, with clear focus questions.
    2. Some paragraphs were overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
  2. Learning features
    1. Several useful wiki links were provided - here's how to turn external links into interwiki links - Help:Interwiki linking
    2. Tip boxes effectively engage a reader.
  3. Spelling, grammar and proofreading
    1. Spelling was generally very good, and there were relatively few typos.
    2. Grammar was problematic in places - the single most important issue was to avoid mixing singular (e.g., one) and plural (e.g., they) to refer to the same entity(ies) within a sentence.
    3. Some sentences were not grammatically correct.
  4. APA style
    1. APA style of references and in-text citations was very good

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:50, 24 November 2011 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an interesting, solid, effective presentation.
  1. Perhaps explain the overall structure in the initial introduction.
  2. Include a summary slide - what is the take-home message.
  1. Consider using slightly longer pauses between sentences and slides.
  2. Consider using more examples.
  3. Consider using slightly less content in order to better focus on take-home messages.
  1. Excellent acknowledgement of image sources on each slide.
  2. Move cursor off screen
  3. Audio quality is good, but seems to skip a little at times.
  4. Intonation was good; added interest/engagement.
  5. Slides are clear and simple.
  6. Font size is readily readable; contrast is high
  7. Production quality

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:31, 9 December 2011 (UTC)Reply