Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Sex and stress

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

Overall Overall, this was a great effort and a great topic, but the presentation was quite short and could have covered much more in the time allotted Structure and content There was a nice effort coverage of theory and why sex is a stress reliever, and there was good balance with the negative side effects of sex on stress. For improvement, consider more theory coverage and including a discussion of more specific research studies Communication Overall, Jing was used to good effect. For improvement, the use of a case study or real life example, as well as changing of the voice tone and overview and conclusion slides might help to further engage the viewer. Production quality The visual quality was sound, however the sound was extremely low. Relevant link, image refs and licensing info must also be included, thus this presentation likely violates copyright law. Courtney.Bruce (discuss • contribs) 03:50, 23 November 2014 (UTC)

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:27, 3 December 2014 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a short chapter which provides limited coverage of relevant psychological theory and research about the topic. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below. Theory The chapter does not explain psychological theories of stress. It is unclear whether the chapter is focusing on the effects of stress on sex or the effects of sex on stress or both (clarify). The topic, as set, is about the effects of sex on stress, but the section on performance anxiety, for example, seems to more about the effect of stress on sex. The discussion about oxytocin is only loosely related to sex; this could be strengthened. Performance anxiety is defined in a sexual context, but it has a much broader definition in psychology (i.e., it relates to anxiety prior and during any kind of behavioural performance). Discussion of body image lacks clear correspondence to the relationship between sex and stress. Research Many claims are not supported by citations (e.g., see the tags) Relatively little research about sex and stress is explained and cited. Written expression Written expression This was a very short chapter. Avoid exaggeration (e.g., "monumental") Obtaining comments on an earlier draft could have helped to improve the chapter. User gender-neutral language (e.g., mankind -> humankind) More linking sentences between sections would help the reader to understand the chapter (e.g., why is the Overview section (which doesn't mention orgasm) immediately followed by the Orgasm section?) Write in third person rather than first person (e.g., "we") Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As mentioned above,") The Conclusion could be strengthened by offering some concrete take-home messages. See the clarification templates that have been added to the article for further suggestions about where and how the written expression could be improved. Learning features No images or tables are used. Interwiki links could be added to make the text more interactive. Layout See earlier comments about heading casing. Some images are used, but the chapter could be improved by adding more images. Figure captions should be more explanatory. Spelling Use Australian spelling. Grammar and proofreading Check and correct the use/non-use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., cultures vs. culture's) APA style Check APA style for direct quotes. Check formatting of in-text citations (e.g., (Gunter &Wykes, 2005)) The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:27, 3 December 2014 (UTC)

Subsequent revisions have been made. Feedback about these revisions:

1. The first words in the Overview are now "sexual intercourse" but the title and subtitle refer to sex and sexual activity respectively. Greater clarity in terminology would be ideal.
2. Some spelling errors have been corrected; some spelling errors have been introduced (e.g., "phycological")
3. Some citations have been added.
4. Some, but not all, uses of "we" have been rewritten into third person perspective.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:27, 17 December 2014 (UTC)

Review of further changes

Substantial further revisions were made. Feedback:

1. A substantially deeper engagement with relevant theory, research, and quality of written expression is evident through the revisions.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:49, 26 February 2015 (UTC)