Latest comment: 14 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This textbook chapter has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see what editing changes I have made whilst reading through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below or continuing to improve the chapter if you wish. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.
Overall, this is a solid P-level chapter. The theory and research content was CR-level, but the quality of written expression was low P-level. Check my edits and specific comments below.
A wide range of useful and relevant theories are explained. It would have helped to explain in the Introduction which theories are to be covered and why. Focus questions could be useful.
Perhaps also work further on organisation of the theories - I wasn't quite sure what the logical flow was - it seemed a bit like jumping from one theory to the next.
Most theories were accompanied by critical thinking and consideration of relevant research.
When describing important research findings, try to indicate the size of effects rather than simply whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
The chapter could have benefited from a more developed introduction, with clear focus questions. Getting comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped with this aspect.
Some claims appeared be unreferenced e.g., "trillion dollars spent on make-up every year". Is is that much? Where is the evidence? Also see "Recent evidence lends support to the notion...".
This is poor quality referencing - (Encyclopedia 2010). The chapter should be based on a close reading of primary, peer-reviewed sources, not secondary sources.
Some sections were "note-like" rather than written with full paragraphs e.g. "The Evolutionary Approach"
Some paragraphs were overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
Learning features
The review quiz was helpful
Greater use could be made of in-text wiki-links?
Images were captioned.
Spelling, grammar and proofreading
The chapter needed better proofreading - there was lots of typographical errors, including spelling and punctuation.
Use Australian spelling e.g., behavior -> behaviour
Questions should end with a question mark.
APA style
Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
Do not cite the year for subsequent citations within a paragraph e.g., Smith (2010) but after that in the same paragraph only refer to Smith.
Latest comment: 14 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
