This textbook chapter has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see what editing changes I have made whilst reading through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below or continuing to improve the chapter if you wish. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.
Overall, this is a basic, P-level textbook chapter. It demonstrates a sufficient level of understanding of emotional aspects of psychopathy. It would have served as a good first draft for comment.
A reasonable range of relevant theory is covered. However, there is no consideration of social learning theory or trauma theory. A critical, integrative review of the roles of various theories, including how they could be used in treatment could be helpful. A particular focus on empathy as well as fear could be useful.
It sounds like it could have been helpful to track down the studies reviewed by Freedman and Verdun-Jones (2010) to inform the current chapter's review of research, since there was somewhat limited citation of primary research references.
When describing important research findings, try to indicate the size of effects rather than simply whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
The chapter demonstrated adequate written expression quality for P-level at third-year, but lacked proofreading and use of wiki features.
Written expression
Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
The chapter could have benefited from a more developed introduction, with clear focus questions. Getting comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped with this aspect.
Bullet-points should have been in full paragraph format.
"According to diagnostic criteria" - which diagnostic criteria? (Reference)
"these findings indicate psychopaths" -> "these findings indicate that psychopaths"
A conclusion would be helpful, to summarise key points in relation to the chapter's focus questions
Learning features: There was limited to no use of additional learning features e.g.,
No wiki-links? (e.g. links to related chapters)
No images?
Table was not in wiki format - and doesn't make sense - factor loadings are not whole numbers - something must be missing?
A case study could be helpful.
Spelling, grammar and proofreading
Check grammar usage - often an additional comma is needed e.g., This however, is incorrect. -> This, however, is incorrect.
Use abbreviations such as etc. in brackets - otherwise use full text such etcetera
Check use of ownership apostrophes e.g., ones -> one's
APA style
Direct quotes need page numbers.
Do not cite the year for subsequent citations within a paragraph e.g., Smith (2010) but after that in the same paragraph only refer to Smith.
When there are three or more authors, subsequent citations should use et al. e.g., Smith, Bush and Western (2001) and then in the next paragraph cite Smith et al. (2001).
Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
The reference list is in very good APA style - also italicise journal volume numbers.
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
This presentation uses a narrated bullet-point style presentation which demonstrates a good understanding of emotion and psychopathy, with focus on theories and research.
Establish why this is an important topic in the introduction. What is the prevalence of psychopathy? What does it matter for the study of emotion?
Font was clear and easy to read (due to high contrast), but font size should be larger (tendency to put too much text per slide)
Voice is clear and generally is well paced, although a bit more time could be given between paragraphs.
Psychopathy checklist is well explained (although the text was too small tor ead) - show the labels of the factors in text
