Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Grief and health

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Feedback[edit source]

Hiǃ Very well written chapterǃ Couple things that stood out where you could make it even better was the string of photos in the beginning makes the page look a tad bit disorganised and since the rest of your chapter is quite tidyǃ But love the use of the colored boxes in the later sections. Maybe you could keep one or two photos or provide 1 photo with appropriate captions? Also there was line where you mentioned the lack of data for scientic evidence of grief. I would suggest not putting it under a heading as it is just one line. I do not think it will ruin your organisation but leaving it there seems unnecessary. Good luckǃ--U3059210 (discusscontribs) 17:15, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! Love the look of the chapter so far. Nice use of colours, tables and images, it's just the right amount. I like the examples provided at the end in different coloured boxes especially. Just a suggestion, maybe hyperlink a few more key ideas for people to learn more about, such as the General Adaptive Syndrome in the summary. I also noticed that there's yet to be research done on the positive affects of grief. If there is little to no research on it, it may be worth getting rid of that heading and just stating in the negative affects section that there is hardly any research on it, as it looks a bit odd having 1 sentence there for the positive affects then a huge section for the negative affects. Otherwise, looks really good :) Bt1718 (discusscontribs) 3:51, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi There,

I have had a read of your book chapter. It looks really good and interesting! The one thing that jumped out at me was the way in which you used your images - I think it's really creative and adds a lot to the page from an aesthetic perspective. The one thing I would comment on would be adding more hyperlinks to external pages. (I added one in for you to show you what I mean). I have also "starred" this page and will provide more feedback as you update it! All the best. Linda --U3096823 (discusscontribs) 22:17, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi,

Wow looking really good! I agree with the above comment that you need a few more hyperlinks in, I've put in bold the words I think you should hyperlink (most are psychologists names). The examples you use toward the end are good and helpful for the reader to understand your point. You have no external links section? this could be beneficial if you'd like to direct readers to a twitter account or any interesting articles you've read ect. You still have plenty of time to tweak it anyway but really well done. U3096981 (discusscontribs) 23:59, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi there, I'm loving your chapter, especially the layout; it looks really nice and clean so far. One small pick up, under types of grief in Chronic Grief, you have two small errors. There is an S missing after task in this sentence "they are not making progress and fail to complete task involved in the grief process" and the other is the "Absent or Delayed Grief:" paragraph starts halfway through the chronic grief para instead of below it. Hope this helps. --Tessa Power (discusscontribs) 17:22, 27 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi there, This is looking great! The layout looks good, the pictures are suitable and the content is interesting. I find it interesting that there are positive affects of grief. The positive affects of grief is good food for thought as well. I noticed that you discussed the physiological aspects of unresolved grief but there was no information about the psychological aspects of unresolved grief. There's research outlining the effects of unresolved grief on the individual. For instance, one particular study showed that parents who reported having unresolved grief experience anxiety, depression and poor quality of life. I know you mentioned that anxiety and depression are the negative affects of grief but it is interesting to note that unresolved grief can lead to this as well. Here is the article where I found that study from http://jco.ascopubs.org/content/26/36/5870.full--

Hi, just read your chapter good job. The only thing I would suggest is to perhaps make the theory more clear as I think discussing relevant theory is apart of our mark. For example, you could perhaps make a sub heading under "Why grief occurs" of "Attachment Theory". Good luck! ---u3079526-Rhiannon Simpson---

Hey! Awesome work, one quick tip is to make sure you use appropriate APA formatting for your pictures ie.'Title 1 :) User:U3097062

Suggestions[edit source]

Hello! Your page looks great. You write really nicely and have made a very visually pleasing page. i would just suggest that you remember to apa reference your pictures Figure 1 description. If you have enough words i would also look into incorporating a practical example to help explain your chapter further. Also, discussing treatment options or intervention would be really valid for your chapter. You could even link some external websites concerning grief management or numbers to ring if people are struggling with grief. Hyperlinking in previous chapters on depression would also enhance your page further. Anyway, best of luck and I look forward to soon reading the completed chapter :) --U3034876 (discusscontribs) 01:32, 24 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a well prepared, solid, well-executed presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Theory and research was well covered and well balanced.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Audio is clear and well-paced.
  2. Visuals are clear and easy to read.
  3. Consider using greater intonation to enhance engagement.
  4. Audio volume varies somewhat between slides (one of the challenges with Prezi)

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Fill out the description field (e.g., brief description of presentation, license details, link back to chapter).
  2. Audio quality is OK, but is a little bit tinny/echoey - check microphone set-up.
  3. Text size is OK for on-screen viewing, but would benefit from being larger especially, for example, if this presentation is projected on a screen for a large audience.
  4. The copyright license for the images used is not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used or these were public domain images.
  5. The copyright license and source for the images used is not indicated - there may have been copyright violation.
  6. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (e.g., in the description or in the presentation slides).
  7. No link is provided back to the book chapter.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:36, 25 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]