Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2010/Sex offender motivation

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Chapter feedback

This textbook chapter has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see what editing changes I have made whilst reading through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below or continuing to improve the chapter if you wish. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a solid CR-level chapter which has been extensively researched and provides an engaging insight into motivational aspects mainly of serial sexual killers. The set-up focus of the chapter was a bit problematic - was is about sex offenders who serial killers or serial sex offenders or serial sex offenders who kill etc.? It became more clear by the end that the focus was on the latter group, but this should have been more clearly explained and justified up front. Theory coverage was broad and well applied, with some supporting research and rich use of examples. Written expression was reasonable, but note that improvements to spelling, and APA style would be needed for the next level.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Theory coverage and focus was reasonably broad, but always relevant, given the somewhat specific topic. Examples were used to illustrate theory. A greater focus on neurological aspects of motivation could have been helpful.
  2. The evolutionary theory was not used to explain why some are more motivated towards sexually-motivated serial killing than others.
  3. Critical thinking could have applied more to the theories - or at least perhaps a theoretical synthesis could be offered in the summary.

Research[edit source]

  1. This is probably the weakest aspect. Given the lack of research for the very narrow group of people that this chapter focuses on, perhaps also consider incorporating research on low-level offenders (e.g., personality and risk-taking)

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Considerable effort to present the chapter in an interesting way is evident e.g., images and feature boxes.
  2. The clarity of written expression could have been improved in several places e.g., "In the case of Jeffrey Dahmer, he would be socially created due to the abuse he received as a child, neglect and poor learning associations (sexual arousal and control)." -> maybe something like "In the case of Jeffrey Dahmer, he motivation is likely to have been socially influenced due to the abuse he received as a child, neglect and poor learning associations (sexual arousal and control)."
  3. The chapter could have benefited from developing clear focus questions. Getting comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped with this aspect.
  4. Spelling, grammar and proofreading
    1. Not all sentences were grammatically correct e.g., "Majority of sex offenders are predominately males, and their victims are predominately females."
    2. Check capitalisation e.g., "Sexual Motivation represented the driving psychological force in the crimes (Fedoroff, 2008)."
  5. Inter-wiki links could be useful e.g., Ted Bundy.
  6. Check use of ownership apostrophes e.g., Power and control over an offenders victims -> Power and control over an offender's victims
  7. APA style of reference list was DI-level - check capitalisation.
  8. Images were effectively captioned.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit source]

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Overall, this was an effective, personable and engaging summary accompaniment to the chapter.
  2. Presentation was open-licensed.
  3. Narration was well paced.
  4. 1st person is OK; but I think 3rd person would probably have worked better.
  5. Although the text was too small to read, I think screnshots from the chapter are an effective accompaniement - try to zoom in more though.
  6. Effective use of video to illustrate ideas.
  7. Video attributions?

Communication[edit source]

Production quality[edit source]

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:44, 14 December 2010 (UTC)