This textbook chapter has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see what editing changes I have made whilst reading through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below or continuing to improve the chapter if you wish. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.
Overall, the quality of written expression was sufficient, but could have done with another draft and proofread. In addition, there was minimal use of the wiki format towards providing extra learning features.
Use gender neutral language e.g., man -> human
Avoid colloquialism e.g., "came off the back of"
The chapter could have benefited from developing clear focus questions. Getting comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped with this aspect.
Limited use of images.
There were no wiki-links.
Image captions - could be related more clearly to the chapter text e.g., "Wolves are the best kinds of dogs." ?
Spelling, grammar and proofreading
Use Australian spelling e.g., hypothesize -> hypothesise
Check grammar e.g., this is not a complete sentence "Citing that learned helplessness results from receiving aversive stimuli in a situation in which any contingent responses or attempts to respond occur in the presence of the aversive stimuli, and where such responses hold no significance to eliminating or reducing the severity of the traumatic stimulus.", nor is "Such that, despite the severity of the individual’s condition, it was the belief in their ability to control or cope with their disease that determined their level of depression, rather than the reality of their subjective condition (Smith, Peck, & Ward, 1990)."
Semi-colons were used unnecessarily
Check use of ownership apostrophes e.g., individuals -> individual's
Do not cite the year for subsequent citations within a paragraph e.g., Smith (2010) but after that in the same paragraph only refer to Smith.
When there are three or more authors, subsequent citations should use et al. e.g., Smith, Bush and Western (2001) and then in the next paragraph cite Smith et al. (2001).
Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.