Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Nature deficit disorder

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Latest comment: 3 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback
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Additional resources[edit source]

Hi! What an fascinating topic. Something I haven't considered very deeply in the past. I did some research and stumbled across a book written by Renee Simmons Raney (https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.ezproxy.canberra.edu.au/lib/canberra/reader.action?docID=5440260) to encourage and inspire children to become creative in nature to provide a sense of appreciation and enthusiasm for the world around them. This book was written as a method to cure nature deficiency in children, therefore I thought may be useful to reference or possibly use an excerpt as an example of alternative ways for children to be involved in nature. Good luck with the rest of your chapter :) --Shayley Woodgate (discusscontribs) 10:44, 11 October 2020 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing[edit source]

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:38, 24 August 2020 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback[edit source]

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title[edit source]

  1. Excellent

User page[edit source]

  1. Excellent - used effectively

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence.

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Excellent
  2. See earlier comment about Heading casing.
  3. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.

Key points[edit source]

  1. Direct quotes need page numbers (APA style) - even better, write in your own words.
  2. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. focus questions.
    2. an image.
    3. an example or case study.
  3. Key points are well developed for each section.
  4. Ideally, include more citations.
  5. Consider including more examples/case studies.

Image[edit source]

  1. Excellent
  2. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.
  3. Consider decreasing image size.

References[edit source]

  1. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation of first letter after a colon used in a title

Resources[edit source]

  1. Very good
  2. Also include See links to related book chapters
  3. An external link was moved from see also

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:27, 19 September 2020 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Relevant theories are well selected, described, integrated, and explained.

Research[edit source]

  1. Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.
  2. A critical perspective is evident.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is very good.
    2. The chapter benefited from a well developed Overview and Conclusion, with clear focus question(s) and take-home messages.
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
    2. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles.
    2. Basic use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding more in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Very good use of image(s).
    4. No use of table(s).
    5. Excellent use of feature box(es).
    6. Excellent use of quiz(zes).
  4. Grammar
    1. Use serial commas[1] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists.
    2. Check and correct use of that vs. who.
    3. Abbreviations
      1. Check and correct grammatical formatting for abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.).
  5. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading to fix typos would bring the quality of written expression to a higher professional standard.
  6. APA style
    1. In general, do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc..
    2. Use double- rather than single-quote marks for emphasis.
    3. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10).
    4. Figures and tables
      1. Use APA style to refer to each Table and each Figure (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation).
    5. Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year (e.g., Smith et al., 2020)
    6. References use correct APA style.

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. ~30 logged, useful, social contributions with direct links to evidence
  2. Thankyou for your excellent social contributions - much appreciated! Bonus marks added

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:22, 8 November 2020 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a very good presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little.
  2. The presentation is well structured.
  3. Consider adding and narrating an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  4. The presentation makes excellent use of theory.
  5. The presentation makes good use of research.
  6. The presentation makes excellent use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice.
  7. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies.
  8. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s).

Communication[edit source]

  1. The presentation is easy to follow.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of animated slides with narrated audio.
  3. Well paced. Excellent pauses between sentences. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  4. Consider improving articulation to enhance the clarity of speech.
  5. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. Sometimes could be improved by using less text to make it easier to read.
  6. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. The video is very well produced.
  2. The sub-title is missing in both the video title and on the opening slide - this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Audio recording quality was good but a bit tinny. Probably an on-board microphone was used. Consider using an external microphone.
  4. Visual display quality was very good.
  5. Image sources and their copyright status are not provided.
  6. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  7. A link to the book chapter is provided.
  8. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  9. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:36, 23 November 2020 (UTC)Reply