Talk:Happiness/Have a Happy Relationship/John Gottman

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Questions[edit source]

In What Makes Love Last, the Gottman's Aftermath Kit says (Steps 3 and 4) to identify the deep triggers and recount the history of these triggers. Yet in step 5 it says, "It won't fly to make excuses for your part in the current conflict or to shuffle blame based on your history. Own up to the role you played." If you identify what triggered you, might that not come off as defensiveness, if your being triggered was what exacerbated your contribution to the conflict? Leucosticte (discusscontribs) 15:03, 4 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I guess the answer is that you admit that it was ridiculous what you felt/thought/etc. and your fault how you reacted based on that. Leucosticte (discusscontribs) 15:31, 4 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]