Talk:Happiness/Have a Happy Relationship

Much of this article is really an essay, and is personal. I'm not fixing that today, just noting it. Essays should be attributed to the author, and, generally, moved down in the structure. This, however, might simply exist as an essay under Happiness. However, it is today getting some additional editing, and a subpage was created for book terminology.... What amounts to a personal review of the book, on the attached page, might go on the intermediate book subpage that I created to provide a path to the terminology page. --Abd (discuss • contribs) 00:02, 8 August 2014 (UTC)

Always being honest

It says "Be honest with each other. Live in truth. Truth is the basis of every good relationship. This is the most important factor of Love. Always believe on your Love and always be Honest". That should not be construed to mean that you tell your partner every thought that goes through your head. Leucosticte (discuss • contribs) 00:16, 8 August 2014 (UTC)

What is "it" that says something? In fact, this is User:Nobody60, who wrote the attached essay.

You are correct, Leucosticte, in my opinion. However, where does the "should" come from? I'll answer that. It comes from your understanding, which may match mine or someone else's.

Yes, raw honesty, unmoderated and incautious, can be destructive in relationships, especially when it is just about a transient occurring.

I.e., OMG, my wife looks fat in that dress. Do I tell her? Hey, honesty first! "Sweetie, you look fat." Make sure she has no frying pan or other heavy object handy, and be prepared to duck anyway.

Now, if she asks you, "Do I look fat in this?", you have a delicate issue! There is no pat answer to this question. It can be very difficult to conceal an awkward occurring in an intimate relationship. Right now, with the luxury of not facing this issue directly at this time, I'd think of saying, immediately, "No." A lie, at that point, but then I'd backtrack into something more useful, i.e., "mmm.... your black skirt would look better."

"Now, honey, be honest with me, this this make me look fat?"

"You look thinner with the black skirt, so, I suppose, by comparison, yes, a little."

And pray that you don't get these questions often! Unless she really does want your immediate occurring. It's all made-up judgment, unreal, except as to appearance.

"Sweetie, you always look just right to me. But the black skirt is nicer." And you can make that so. "Just right is invented, there is no reality there, only intention and caring. --Abd (discuss • contribs) 03:02, 8 August 2014 (UTC)

Do some women actually ask such questions? They must be masochists. Leucosticte (discuss • contribs) 03:04, 8 August 2014 (UTC)

Clueless, L., just get that you are clueless, that's a start. Yes, some women ask such questions, and they are not masochists. --Abd (discuss • contribs) 03:07, 8 August 2014 (UTC)

Role model. Gotta love Insanity Wolf. Leucosticte (discuss • contribs) 03:09, 8 August 2014 (UTC)