Motivation and emotion/Book/2024/Rejection sensitivity
What is rejection sensitivity and how does it impact behaviour and relationships?
Overview
[edit | edit source]
 Scenario Everyone some way or another might face a sense of guilt, anger, shame, or sadness whenever they get rejected. For instance, your grades in a specific subject, your friends not letting you play football every day, or it could be your partner that ties you up from doing what you want to do. Consider Jordan and Alex, a couple engaged for two years. Alex worries that Jordan may leave her and feels uncomfortable all the time. Alex may become quite upset about even small disagreements or assumed insults, which can result in disagreements, misunderstandings, and miscommunications. Due to Alex's rejection sensitivity, this pattern of behaviour damages their relationship and restricts their ability to communicate and build trust. |
The reason individuals feel and behave like this, or someone they know might, is RSD 
Define RSD and then shorten it to the acronym in brackets following the initial definition.people who suffer from rejection sensitivity. These people experience major psychological reactions and eagerly anticipate, think about, and respond to social rejection. This increased sensitivity can be noticeable especially in romantic relationships, since the fear of being rejected by a partner can cause serious emotional suffering as well as changes in behaviour. To fully understand rejection sensitivity, it is important to study its behaviours and psychological roots for instance, in romantic relationships.
Rejection sensitivity in romantic relationships shows up as avoidance, people-pleasing, hypervigilance, and strong emotional reactions which lead to conflicts (Romero, 2010). For example, when people are always looking to their partners for comfort or when they take neutral remarks negatively. These actions have the potential to break down communication and trust by starting a vicious cycle of miscommunication and mental distress (see Figure 1).
According to the theory of rejection sensitivity, people who display this characteristic have stronger nervous system responses to social threats that they perceive (Romero, 2010), which is typically the result of early attachment problems or traumatic events. This sensitivity can be increased by disorders including ADHD, depression, and anxiety, which can lead to a complicated emotional interplay. Fortunately, when it comes to addressing rejection sensitivity, psychological research provides useful information. People have shown success in recognising and managing their emotional reactions with the use of mindfulness-based therapies and cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT). Couples can reduce the impact of rejection sensitivity by establishing clear boundaries, encouraging open and honest communication, and engaging in empathy exercises. Couples can work towards better and more satisfying relationships by understanding the basic of psychological mechanisms and correcting the behaviours that arise from them.
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What is rejection sensitivity and how does it impact behaviour and relationships?
[edit | edit source]Sensitivity to rejection occurs when someone believes they have been rejected or criticised by people who are important in their life, for example their spouse, family, friends and by coworkers, they may feel very sensitive, and they may experience serious emotional sensitivity and sadness known as (RSD). An overall state of dissatisfaction anxiety, and instability is referred to as "Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria". Regardless of not being a recognised diagnosis in the DSM-5 Overview, still medical professionals are aware of RSD, particularly when it comes to ADHD (See the video for more info.)(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jM3azhiOy5E&t=419s). Some examples of behaviour seem in RSD are avoidance and people pleasing.
Avoidance
[edit | edit source]People who are extremely sensitive to rejection often shows that they are not interested on being extroverted which means they stay out of gatherings to reduce their chances of rejection. They may prefer being lonely most of the time which leads them to be socially isolated and they cannot build their deep relationships with other people. It is important to know that avoidance may cause to prevent people from taking advantage of their chances for professional and personal development as they avoid situations where they can be judged or criticised.
People-pleasing
[edit | edit source]People who are highly sensitive to rejection often over-please others to avoid being rejected. They will not stop at anything to win people's acceptance and save themselves from being rejected. However, engaging in this behaviour might temporarily ease their fear of rejection but it frequently results in exhaustion, negative behaviours, loss of identity and burnout.
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Psychological mechanisms underlying sensitivity to rejection
[edit | edit source]There are several psychological mechanisms involved in rejection sensitivity. By understanding these mechanisms, individuals can identify the root causes and create effective plans for handling them. The following are the main psychological processes that underlie rejection sensitivity:
Early attachments
[edit | edit source]Experiences of early attachment according to attachment theory, individual early experiences of attachment with their caretakers influence how they view and handle rejection. In general, there are three types of attachment that influence (RSD), anxious, avoidant and disorganised attachment.
- Anxious attachment: People with this kind of attachment fear being left alone, so they are very sensitive to criticism, so they want someone to be with them.
- Avoidant attachment: People with this type of attachment might ignore or decrease the importance of relationships so they could avoid rejection, but still they feel the hurt and pain that they are rejected.
- Disorganized attachment: This type of attachment is brought on by awful or abusive carers, which causes extreme emotional regulation problems and unstable responses to rejection.
Cognitive functioning
[edit | edit source]People who are sensitive to rejection interpret social cues differently, which frequently results in exaggerated feelings of rejection.
- Attention bias: In Attentional Bias (Wikipedia) these sorts of people tend to notice and remember rejection more often; what they do is they focus more on negative social cues. This leads them to miss positivity or positive social interactions, which strengthen their negative view.
- Interpretation bias: This kind of people wrongly interpret unclear social signals as a sign of rejection for instance, a slow response from close friend makes them feel disapproved or disliked.
- Memory Biases (Wikipedia) This type of people has strong growth of future rejection for instance, they repeatedly remember past rejections. This memory may cause them to develop a lasting fear of RS by emphasizing the number of past rejections (See the table below for more info){{ic|Use APA style to refer to and caption tables).
| Name | Description |
|---|---|
| Negativity Bias | Putting more emphasis on evidence or negative experiences instead of positive ones. |
| State-Dependent Memory | Calling memories from pasts that matches individuals' current mode for instance when they are sad, they more likely bring the sad memories as well to match it. |
Regulation of emotions
[edit | edit source]Rejection triggers strong emotional responses in those who are rejection sensitive.
- Emotional dysregulation: People who suffer from emotions cannot controlled their behaviour or emotions, these people respond to criticism or concerns intensely, which may be extremely upsetting.
- Rumination (Wikipedia): They frequently ruminate over rejections they feel they have received, repeating what happened in their heads and increasing their emotional suffering which leads to, negative thoughts and feelings.
- Emotional reactivity: The person has impulsive acts and mood swings brought on by strong reactions to emotions which makes them unpredictable that cause social interactions more difficult for this specific group.
How rejection and sensitivity manifest in romantic relationships
[edit | edit source]Rejection-sensitive people report lower levels of relationship satisfaction and closeness, lower levels of perceived partner satisfaction, a higher possibility of violence against partners (both criminal activity and abuse), higher levels of relationship concerns and conflict, and higher levels of jealousy and self-silencing behaviours, according to a meta-analysis of 60 studies (147 effect sizes; 16,955 participants). They also have a higher tendency for sexual addiction and unsafe sexual behaviour. [Meta-Analysis of Rejection Sensitivity] (https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2023-67044-001)
Romantic relationships can be greatly and increasingly impacted by rejection sensitivity, which often results in negative behavioural habits such as, avoidance, disengagement, obsessive, and jealousy that limit trust, intimacy, and communication in romantic relationships which will collapse families. Rejection sensitivity typically presents itself in the following behaviours and signs:
Inaccurate reading of social cues
[edit | edit source]People who are sensitive to rejection are likely to mistake their partner's behaviours and statements for rejection.
- Negative interpretation: They may believe, assume, or imagine that their partner is unhappy or unimportant and most of the time they misunderstand neutral remarks or behaviours as a negative sign.
- Overreacting to confusion: In unclear situations like a late text reply or not responding to text, can cause panic attacks and excessive emotions very easily to them.
- Suspicion and mistrust: When misunderstandings continue to grow and appear they will lead to suspicion and mistrust, which cause damage to foundation of the relationship.
Avoidance and disengagement
[edit | edit source]People may emotionally or physically distance themselves from a relationship to protect themselves from being rejected.
- Emotional distance: In a move to protect oneself from possible injury, they may put up emotional obstacles that their partner may mistake for coldness or lack of love.
- Physical withdrawal: Refusing to be intimately involved or close to someone may be a coping method for rejection.
- Decreased communication: They could say less to avoid conflict or what they see as rejection, which could result in miscommunication.
Romantic jealousy and obsessive behaviour
[edit | edit source]People who are sensitive to rejection could become more jealous and possessive specially in Romantic jealousy (Book Chapter, 2013) because they worry that their spouse will leave them for someone else. For instance, jealousy within a romantic relationship can be aroused by the threat of competition, comparison and fear of rejection or being replaced (Harris, 2010). In other word they more likely thinking that their partner is cheating on them, and they assume it. In a survey of married couples seeking relationship counselling, 79% of men and 66% of women described themselves as jealous (https://psychiatry-psychopharmacology.com/en/gender-differences-in-romantic-jealousy-and-attachment-styles-13629)) (see Figure 2).
- Concern of abandonment: They may keep a careful eye on their partner's social contacts because of this concern.
- Controlling behaviour: In trying to minimise the real risk of rejection, they may try to manage their partner's social relationships or activities.
- Tension and conflict: These actions may result in more disagreements and frequent arguments within the partnership.
 Scenario: Since Emma and Ryan have been together for a year, Emma frequently worries that Ryan may leave her. Emma is jealous and assumes Ryan is interested in someone else when he receives a text from a female coworker. She starts to question Ryan about every communication he has, even going so far as to sometimes check his phone. Emma's constant demand for reassurance frustrates Ryan, who first tries to cheer her up. Their relationship starts getting worse as a result of their growing lack of trust in each other. |
Managing rejection and sensitivity in couples
[edit | edit source]Relationships can be severely challenged by rejection sensitivity. The following are some methods that couples can use to control and decrease the impact it has:
Open communication and empathy
[edit | edit source]- Express feelings: couples should encourage each other to communicate more openly and express their feelings of rejection.
- Active listening: Practicing active listening consistently and individuals try to understand their partner's perspective.
- Empathy: Individuals should try to see things from their partner's point of view, even if they disagree.
Setting boundaries and expectations
[edit | edit source]Boundaries are mental, physical, and emotional limits that help protect individuals in relationships Reader's Digest. (2024). [How to set boundaries].
- Clear communication: To avoid misunderstanding couples should communicate their needs and boundaries.
- Realistic expectations: It is recommended that individuals set realistic expectations for themselves and their partners to prevent disappointment.
- Avoid assumptions: For couples it is necessary to avoid assumptions regarding their partners feelings or intentions.
Conclusion
[edit | edit source]Rejection sensitivity refers to an excessive anxiety of rejection or judgement from others, which frequently arises from early attachments difficulties or negative experiences. Individuals displaying rejection sensitivity may respond intensely to perceived rejections, regardless of intention. This condition can lead to avoidance of social interactions, heightened concern for others approval, or increased emotional distress in relationships.
In romantic relationships, rejection sensitivity can result in frequent misunderstandings, distrust, and violent behaviour. These habits would make it difficult for couples to communicate more openly and establish trust, which will result in constant disagreements and dissatisfaction. Couples may avoid or wont discussing their feelings or want frequent reassurance from their spouses, causing stress and pressure on the relationship.
However, rejection sensitivity can be managed in many ways. Couples can learn how to understand and control how they react with the use of psychotherapy methods such as mindfulness and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). Building boundaries, improving their ability to communicate clearly, and developing empathy represent additional ways that couples may strengthen their relationship. Relationships can become better, and the negative effects of rejection sensitivity can be decreased by being aware of these actions and reacting to them.
See also
[edit | edit source]- ADHD and Motivation (Book Chapter, 2022)
- Attachment Theory (Wikipedia)
- Positive Outcomes of Successful Belongingness and How to Cope with Rejection (Book Chapter, 2014)
- Social Rejection (Wikipedia)
References
[edit | edit source]Bijttebier, P., Beck, I., Claes, L., & Vandereycken, W. (2009). Gray's reinforcement sensitivity theory as a framework for research on personality-psychopathology associations. *Clinical Psychology Review, 29*(5), 421–430. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2009.04.002
Downey, G., & Feldman, S. I. (1996). Implications of rejection sensitivity for intimate relationships. *Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70*(6), 1327–1343. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.70.6.1327
Gao, S., Assink, M., Cipriani, A., & Lin, K. (2017). Associations between rejection sensitivity and mental health outcomes: A meta-analytic review. *Clinical Psychology Review, 57*, 59–74. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2017.08.007
Romero-Canyas, R., Downey, G., Berenson, K., Ayduk, O., & Kang, N. J. (2010). Rejection sensitivity and the rejection–hostility link in romantic relationships. *Journal of Personality, 78*(1), 119–148. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2009.00611.x
Scheinkman, M., & Werne, D. (2010). Disarming jealousy in couples relationships: A multidimensional approach. *Family Process, 49*(4), 517–528. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1545-5300.2010.01335.x
External links
[edit | edit source]- ChatGPT. (2024). Overview made-up scenario. Retrieved from https://chatgpt.com/share/138ffa9c-9055-4dbc-af5c-e37583992646
- ChatGPT. (2024). Book Chapter Main topics before research and citation. Retrieved from https://chatgpt.com/share/138ffa9c-9055-4dbc-af5c-e37583992646
- Psychiatry and Psychopharmacology. (2024). Gender differences in romantic jealousy and attachment styles. Retrieved from https://psychiatry-psychopharmacology.com/en/gender-differences-in-romantic-jealousy-and-attachment-styles-13629
- Wikiversity. Motivation and Emotion Book Chapters. Retrieved from Motivation and emotion book chapters
- How perceived isolation motivates network closure. Retrieved from https://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/handle/2027.42/133276/joebayer_1.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y
- WebMD. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Retrieved from https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria
- YouTube. Attentional Bias. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3p99agjZpps&t=520s
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