ECSTRA/Refusing

Typical forms when you want to turn down an offer or an invitation (in formal and/or informal contexts):

A. a direct phrase that means "No, I don't feel like going there/doing X"

B. a vague excuse like "No, I don't have time", "No I have something else to do"

C. a phrase like "(I don't know yet,) I'll let you know", though you will surely not contact the person again

D. a phrase liek "I'll have to think about it", though you will surely not contact the person again

E. a concrete brief and true excuse (if there is one)

F. a concrete brief and invented excuse (if there is no concrete true excuse)

G. a long and true excuse (if there is one)

H. a long and invented excuse (if there is no concrete true excuse)

I. other means

(Please remember our guidelines.)

AT: Austria

• Vienna, Lower Austria: B C D G H common; E F very frequent; other means: clear turning down of the invitation, but suggestion to meet at some other time (ECSTRA-Q)
• female informand with no indication of region: A colloquial; C E very frequent; D F common (ECSTRA-Q)

BE: Belgium

• Brussels: A E informal; B very frequent, C sometimes; D rare; F = (only? redominantly?) for written invitations; G rare and only for friends; also E is in use (ECSTRA-Q)

CH: Switzerland

...

CZ: Czech Republic

...

DE: Germany

• Bremen: B-H; other means: "I first have to talk with my husband/wife about it" (ECSTRA-Q)
• South: A only informal; B C E F G; other means: "Thanks, but..." (ECSTRA-Q)
• Saxony: A very informal, among close friends, within the family; B formal, to colleagues or the boss; C informal, among friends; D informal, among friends; E to colleagues, to the boss; F to colleagues or to the boss; G among close friends (ECSTRA-Q)

DK: Denmark

...

EE: Estonia

...

ES: Spain

• Andalusia: A B C D (ECSTRA-Q)
• Castilla y León: A B C D F frequent; B informal + frequent; D more or less frequent; F rare (ECSTRA-Q)

FI: Finland

• West-Finland (Swedish-speaking area): A not when you're invited to someone's home; B frequent; C common, also used if you really aren't sure; D common; E common; F rare (instead, B is used); G rare; H practically never
• Finland (Finnish-speaking area): A B E often; C D not at all; F rare; G sometimes, if the request comes from a friend; H hardly ever (ECSTRA-Q)

FR: France

• Paris: A only among friends; B C F; D H rare; E G considered rare by some and common by others (ECSTRA-Q)
• informand, without specification of her region: A B C H very frequent; D rare; E F G informal; the informand writes: "les français refusent souvent des choses, alors qu'ils peuvent très bien les faire, ils mentent beaucoup ... ils ne se gênent pas pour dire que quelque chose les dérange, et ne s'excuse pas forcément pour tout." (ESCTRA-Q)

HR: Croatia

...

HU: Hungaria

A only among good friends, B among good friends or in the form "Unfortunately I have no time (without a "No, ..." at the beginning) for formal situations, C, E, F (but impolite), G (ECSTRA-Q)

IE: Ireland

• Dublin: B E G H frequent; C D F rare; other means: feigned illness (ECSTRA-Q)

IT: Italy

• Lombardy: A for some frequent, for some rare; E frequent; F for some frequent, for some not so frequent; B frequent + informal; C very frequent; D for some very frequent, for some rare; G H rare (ECSTRA-Q)

LT: Lithuania

A, B, C, D, E, F (ECSTRA-Q)

LU: Luxemburg

B, C (very frequent), D, E (very frequent), G (ECSTRA-Q)

LV: Latvia

...

MT: Malta

A - H

NL: Netherlands

...

NO: Norway

...

PL: Poland

B (at least in Upper Silesia); C (if there really is a reason); D; E; F (at least in Silesia), G (ECSTRA-Q)

PT: Portugal

• Alentejo: A very frequent, but informal; B very frequent; C common; D for some rare, for some frequent; E F G H rare or even very rare (ECSTRA-Q)

SE: Sweden

A ok, if you're busy; C-H (ECSTRA-Q)

SI: Slovenia

...

SK: Slovakia

...

UK: United Kingdom

• Scotland: A H rare; B very common; C D E F common (ECSTRA-Q)
• Cambridgeshire: A only if you know the interlocutor well, informal; B C frequent; D E very frequent; F rare; G quite frequent; H quite rare (ECSTRA-Q)

Non-European Nations

• Australia: A C D E F G (ECSTRA-Q)
• Colombia: A E H rare; B C very frequent; D G frequent; F sometimes (ECSTRA-Q)
• Greece: A rare; B rare, only if you really don't have time; C E F G H very frequent; D for some frequent, for some rather uncommon (ECSTRA-Q)
• Lebanon: A B rare; C D G H frequent; E F informal (ECSTRA-Q)