Bahá'í Faith/Spouse Selection/Chastity
VI. Chastity
[edit | edit source]Questions to ask yourself and your potential spouse:
[edit | edit source]Are you chaste?
Do you value chastity?
Are you committed to faithfulness in the marriage?
Introduction
[edit | edit source]The implications of chastity for a successful marriage are less and less appreciated in the modern world. Increasingly the moral restraints related to sex are relaxed. Chastity is considered old fashioned and out-of-date. Both science and religion strongly support the positive role that sex in marriage and fidelity outside play in a happy and successful marriage. Religions consistently have upheld chastity as a virtue and marriage as the only rightful place for sexual intercourse.
Chastity has the added benefit in preventing sexual passions from dominating in human relationships, especially those of potential mates. It allows deep friendships to be made with many people without violating the special bond that is to exist only between a husband and wife. Marriages where the couples have been chaste both before and after marriage are happier, stabler and longer lasting. Being able to control your sexual desires is a standard of maturity and a mark of character.
Sexual relations seem to be especially suited for strengthening the marriage bond. Outside of this healthy and valued expression of love, it seems to create bonds and attachments that have negative influence on the marriage. Its value in marriage becomes its undoing outside of it. Sex during courtship diverts you from the vital task of making an informed choice by creating an attachment that will cloud judgment and encourage a connection that may be unhealthy. This focuses emphasis on the physical side of a relationship and away from its psychological, social and spiritual aspects.
Fidelity in marriage is a symbol of trust, love, faithfulness and commitment. Chastity and fidelity once lost cannot be regained. They can only be healed and hopefully somewhat overcome. It is advisable not to place yourself in a position where you would sacrifice or compromise this personal treasure for your spouse.
The sexual drive is strong and a natural part of us. Our ability to control and regulate it is part of having our spiritual and higher nature dominate over our animal and lower nature. This is the foundation for character and marital happiness. The idea of chastity and its beneficial influence can also be applied to controlling other harmful habits that destroy marriages, such as pornography, gambling, alcohol and drugs.