ASCII art/Examples
______________
| D.A.B.'S | (__) (__) (__) (__)
| USED | (uu) (uu) (uu) (uu)
| COWS | /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
|____________| / | || / | || / | || / | ||
|| * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
|| ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
______||_______
| EASY CREDIT | (__) (__) (__) (__)
|_____________| (uu) (uu) (uu) (uu)
|| /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
|| / | || / | || / | || / | ||
|| * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
|| ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(__) (__) (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||W---|| * ||w---|| * ||V---||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow Cow laden Same cow Nancy Reagan-type
with milk after milking cow with milk
(___) (___) * (___) (___)
(o o) (o o) \ (o o) (o o)
/-------\ / /-------\ / \-------\ / /-------\ /
/ | ||O / | ||O | ||O / | ~#>-+|O
* ||,---|| * ||@\--|| ||,---|| * ||,----|
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^
Bull Same bull after Rotc bull after Red-blooded American Bull
seeing above cow seeing other bull shooting the Rotc bull
(__) (__) * (__) * (__)
(oo) (oo) \ (oo) | (oo)
/--------\/ /-oooooo-\/ \-------\/ \-------\/
* o| || * ooooooooo o o| || / ||
||----|| ooooooooooooo ||----||>==/-----||
ooo^^ ^^ ooooooooooooooooo ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow taking Cow in deep Cow getting the shit
a shit shit kicked out of her
(__)
(oo) U
/-------\/ /---V
/ | || * |--| .
* ||----||
^^ ^^
Cow at 1 meter. Cow at 100 meters. Cow at 10,000 meters.
(__) )__( Note the vv vv
(oo) (oo) pointed feet ||----|| *
/-------\/ *-------\/ I suspect || | /
/ | || / | || it's about /\-------/
* ||----|| / ||----|| their dancing (oo)
^^ ^^ vv vv styles. (~~)
American Cow Polish (Kasai) Cow Australian Cow
(__) (__) (__)
(oo) ____ (oo) _---_(oo)
/-------\/ /- --\/ /- -\/
/ | || / | || /| ||
* ||----|| * ||___-|| * ||___-||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Freshman Cow at Freshman Cow Freshman Cow
start of school After the "Freshman 15" After the "Freshman 20"
(__) (__) (__)
(OO) (@@) (xx)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow who drank Jolt Cow who ate Cow who used Jolt to wash
psychedelic mushrooms down psychedelic mushrooms
/\ __
/ \ ||
(__) (__) \ / (_||_)
SooS (oo) \/ (oo)
/------S\/S /-------\/ /S /-------\/
/ | || / | || / S / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----||___/ S * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
This cow belonged Ben Franklin owned Abe Lincoln's
to George Washington this cow cow
(__)
* (__) (oo)
\ (oo) /------\/
\-------\/ /| |/ |
| ==$ || / | [) ||
||----|| * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Old "One Arm" belonged This cow is obviously
to Caesar's Palace Hugh Hefner's Heifer
(___) (__) (__)
( O ) (oo) (oo)
/-------\ / \/--------\/
/ | ||V | |
* ||----|| ||------||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
The cyclops that Odysseus and This cow lived with
his crew met had this cow Dr. Doolittle
(__) (__)
[##] (@o)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /------- (__)
/ | || / | || / | || (oo)
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|---\/
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^
This cow belonged This cow lived with This cow belonged to
to Flash Gordon the Little Rascals the Headless Horseman
(____) (____) (____)
(oo ) (o o) ( O O)
/-----------\ / /-----\ /---- /-----------\ / \ /
/ || | \/ / | | \/ | / || | \/ \/
/ || |||| \ | | | | | / || ||||
* ||||-----|||| *| | |-----| | | * ||||-----||||
/\/\ /\/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ ^^^^ ^^^^
This cow belonged This was Salvador No one was sure whether Lewis Carroll's cow
to Pablo Picasso Dali's favorite cow M.C. Escher's cow had four
legs or eight
(__)
(__) (oo) (__)
(oo) /\/ (oo)
/-------\/ /--/-- \/-----
/ | || / | `-. / | `-.
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
OO OO OO OO OO OO
Cow-vertible . . .
(__)
*_ *_ ( oo *_
\ (__) \ /\/ \ (__)
\.----( oo____ \.-/----._____ \.( oo___\____
||____\/____ \ ||__________ \ |_\/________ \
OO `OO OO `OO OO `OO
Cow-vette Cow-vertible (of cowrse)
* (___) * (___) (__)
\ (o o) \ (o o) (oo)
\-------\ / \-------\ / /-------\/ ________
| ||O | ||O / | ||_|/ O _______
||,---|| ||,---|| * ||----| --
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^
Twins Cow Catcher
(__)
(__) [@@] ? (__) ? (__)
(oo) <=|^^|=> ? (oo) ? |\/|(oo)
/-------VV /--------- \/ /-------\/ /--| \--\/
/ | || / | || / | || / | ||
* ||----|| / | || * ||----|| * ||----||
^^ ^^ * ||------|| ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
^^ ^^
Cownt Dracula Francownstein Where Cow Cow bird
Cow Cow
(^^) ( (oo) (__)
(oo) ) (OO) (oo)
/-------==--- /------\--/ /------||||||
/ | || / | || / | UX` \||/
* ||----|| * ||----|\O---< HONK! * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^ ^^ ^^
Groucho's Harpo's Karl's
cow cow cow
(yes, that's the Russian symbol.
Use your imagination.)
O__O \_|_/
(oo) (oo)
/-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow at Disneyland Cow visiting the Statue of Liberty
(__) (__)
^^ (oo) (--)
^^^^ /-------\/ /-\/-\
^^^^^ / | || /| |\
^^^^^ * ||----|| ^ | | ^
^^^^^^^^ ====^^====^^==== | |
^^^^^^^^^^^^^/ /----\
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ / \ \
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^ * ^
Cow Hanging Ten at Malibu Cow sunning at Fort Lauderdale
(What a bod, huh guys?)
* (__)
\ (DD)
\ /-------\/
|\ / | ||_\_/
\ | \ (__) * ||----|
\\|| \(oo) ^^ ^
\||\ \\/ Cow chugging brews and staring at
^^ \|| sunbathers at Fort Lauderdale
\\ ||
\\||
\||
^^ / / / / / / / / / / /
\\_ / / / / / / / / / / / /
\_ / / / / / _______ / /
Cow skiing a Black Diamond at Aspen / / / / | \ / /
/ / / (__)| / /
/ / / (oo)| / /
( @@@ ) /-------\/ |
( @@ ) (------------) / | ||^_|
@@ (__) ( *>COUGH<* ) * ||----|
@@ (oo) . . . ( *>COUGH<* ) ^^ ^
/--UU--\/ (____________)
/ | || Cow sheltering from English Weather
* ||---||
(New) Jersey Cow
O O O O
\ \ / /
\ \ (__) /
(__) \ \ (xx)/
(DD) \ +--------+\//
/-------\/ \| | /
/ | || +--------+
* ||----||
^^ ^^
Cow fantasizing about "Riding the Mechanical Bull"
o==+--
| |\ \
| | \ \ ____________________
| \ \ \ | |
| \ \ \ | +------------+ |
| \ \ \ | | (__) | |
| \ \ \| | (oo) | |
| \ \ | | o\ .\/. | |
| \ \| | | \/ \ | |
/---\ \ | +------------+ |
/ \ \| |
| | | |
\ / | |
\---/ | |
| |
--------------------------
( )
--------------------------
Cow-struction worker.
|
/---\
: = :
: :
:,','. '. : :---\
..,,,',.',',;,'.';'.'.'.,.'.'..:. : :
Cow town after a visit by the cow-struction worker.
o o
|__| (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) =(oo)= oo
/-------\/ /-------vv /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Bill Bixby Bela Lugosi Boris Karloff Claude Rains
male relative cow cow cow
cow
x
xxxx|xxxx
xxxxxxx|xxxxxxx
|
//
(__) // (____)
(oo)// (oooo)
/-------\// /-------\/\/-------\
/ | |// / | || || | \
* ||----| * ||----|| ||----|| *
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Julie Andrews Cow Siamese cows
o o (__) ^
\ / (oo) /
\ / _____\/___/
(__) \__/ / /\ / /
(oo) _______(oo) ^ / * /
/---------\/ /| ___ \/ / ___/
/ | x=a(b)|| / | { }|| *----/\
* ||------|| * ||{___}|| / \
^^ ^^ ||-----|| / /
^^ ^^ ^ ^
Mathematical Television This cow does disco
Cow Cow (That's what comes of
(developer of (Cow-thode snorting cow-caine)
cow-culus) Ray Tube)
o
| [---]
| |
| | |------========|
/----|---|\ | **** |=======|
/___/___\___\ o | **** |=======|
| | ___| |==============|
| | ___ {(__)} |==============|
\-----------/ []( )={(oo)} |==============|
\ \ / / /---===--{ \/ } |
----------------- / | NASA |==== |
| | * ||------||-----^
----------------- || | |
/ / \ \ ^^ ^ |
/ ---- \
^^ ^^ This cow jumped over the moon
(__)
([][]) "I have this recurring dream
__\/_--U about golden arches.".. (__)
/\ \__ ^ :..("")
/\\\ / / //\ ____\_____\/ //
/----^/__/\ /\ // \\/ \___ / //
\\\____/--\-- // /-/__________/ //
/====== \/ =======/==============//
*_/ / \ /^ // / \\
/ \ ^ // \\
Psycowlogist and patient
(___)
\^^^^^^^^\ (__) (o o)
\^^^^^^^^\\ (oo) \ /
*-----\_______\/\/ \--O--/
^_______/ --- \______^ // -----\
^--------\ \S/ /\_____^ \\/_^{} /==V===[]
\______/ \_____\\//
\__/
It's a bird... //\\ The Boss
It's a plane... // \\ (Bruce Holstein)
// //
^^ ^^
==================
_____________________________ H H
| |-------------| H (__) H
| | ________ | H (oo) H __
| COWNTY | | (|__|) | | H / \/ \ H / \
| JAIL | | |oo| | | H | | | | H | STOP |
| | |__|\/|__| | H D===b=----- H \ __ /
| | o | H^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^H ||
| | ^ | H H ||
| | ] | H H ||
| | | H H ||
|_____________|_____________| H H ||
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^
Some cows get in trouble... Cattle Guard
( ( )
( ( ) )
( ( )
( / )
( ( \\ )
( | // )
| | (__)
| | (oo) (__)
| | ----\/ ______(oo)_____
| | || ( _)_______(__) )
**| | ---|| \ __________/
``'---------^^
Cow Hide Cow Pie
\ | / ___________
____________ \ \_# / | ___ | _________
| | \ #/ | | | | | = = = = |
| | | | | \\# | |`v'| | | |
| | \# // | --- ___ | | | || | |
| | | | | #_// | | | | | |
| | \\ #_/_______ | | | | | | || | |
| | | | | \\# /_____/ \ | --- | | |
| | \# |+ ++| | | |^^^^^^| | | | || | |
| | \# |+ ++| | | |^^^^^^| | | | || | |
^^^| (^^^^^) |^^^^^#^| H |_ |^| | |||| | |^^^^^^| |
| ( ||| ) | # ^^^^^^ | | |||| | | | ||||||| |
^^^^^^^^^^^^^________/ /_____ | | |||| | | | ||||||| |
`v'- ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ | ||||||| |
|| |`. (__) (__) ( )
(oo) (oo) /---V
/-------\/ \/ --------\ * | |
/ | || ||_______| \
* ||W---|| || || *
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
"Cow Town"
\ (__) (__)
\\(oo) (\/)
/-----\\\/ /-------\/
/ | (##) / | ||
* ||----||" * ||----||
^^ ^^ ~~ ~~
This cow plays bagpipes. Cow from Beijing
(__) (__) (__)
(\/) ($$) (**)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | 666 || / |=====|| / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Satanic cow This cow is a Yuppie Cow in love
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
/-'''''-\/ /-------------------\/
/ |'''''|| / | ||
* ||''''|| * ||----------------||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow in Argyle Stretch Cow
*
** **
* ** * * * **
* / / \ * *
\ \ / \ / / (__)
* / / \ \ (__) \ \ /--------(00)
/ (00) / / / | |( )
\ /-------\/ \ \ * ||---- ||()
/ / | || / / || ||
\ \ * ||----|| \ \ ^^ ^^
/ / ^^ ^^ / / Cow Chewing Marbles
Cow in Heat
(___)
(o o)
/------\ / (__) (__)
/ ____O (oo) (oo)
| / /----\----\/ /-------\/
/\oo===| / || / | ||
| || *||^-----|| * OO----OO
* ^^ ^^ ^^
Cowt in the Act low rider cow
(__) \__\ (__)
(oo) o (oo) (oo)
/-------\/ ____\___\/ *+-------\/
/ | || / | || ||______||
* ||----|| * ||----|| ||----||
OO OO OO OO OO OO
Detroit cow Mustang cow pickup cow
(__) (__) \_||_~
(oo) (oo) (*||*)
/---------------\/ /----\/ /-------\||/
/ | || / || / | ||
* ||------------|| *-||----|| * ||----||
OO OO OO OO OO }{
li-moo-cow fastback cow teenager's cow
____
(____)
.xxxx.
(__) '(oo)`
(oo) /-----'-\/ `
/-------\/ / | |============>
/ | || * ||----| (~)
* ||----|| ~~ ~
~~ ~~ Moo-ammar Cowdafi
holy cow armed and dangerous
(___) (___)
(o o) (o o)
/-------\ / /-------\ /
/ | ||O / | O~ ||O
* ||,---|| * ||,---||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
A Bull A-bomb-in-a-bull No-bull
(---)
( )
/-----\ (___)
| | (o o)
| | | (-----) \ /
| | | / / \ O
| * | * | O |
^^ ^^ -----
Coward Phone Bull
__________________________________
}__{ / Send YOUR cow pictures to \
(00) ( dbader(at)scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu )
:****** \/ ==='\___________________________________/'
: # ##
##****##
"" ""
| | | | *
| | (__) | | \ (__)
| | (oo) | | \ (oo)
| | /-------\/ | | -----------\/--
| | / | || | | ----| |---
| | * ||----|| | | --------
| \______^^____^^___ | \_________________
| _________________ | _________________
| / | /
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
/ \ / \
Cow perched on a tree. Cow attempting to fly off tree.
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| \_________________
| _________________
| /
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| | (__)
| | *---------(..)
/ \ ^^----^^\/
The attempt results in an udder disaster.
. /\ . . : (__)
. / \ . . : (xx)
/ \ . . * : __------\/
/ \ * : * ||____||
| (__) | . . ** : / | |\
. /| (oo) |\ ** :
/ | /\/\ | \ . . * : Hamburger
. / |=|==|=| \ . * :
. / | | | | \ . :
/ USA | ^||^ |NASA \ . : * (__)
|______| ^^ |______| . : \ (oo)
. (__||__) . . : \-------\/
. /_\ /_\ . . . : 8-| ||
!!! !!! : ||----||
: ^^ ^^
The cow that jumped over the moon. : Flying Cow
...---...
../ / | \ \..
./ / / | \ \ \.
/ / / | \ \ \
/ / / | \ \ \
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /
\ | /(__)
\|/ (oo)
/---++--\/
/ | || ||
* ||-++-||
^^ ^^
Cow surviving attack by Red Baron
..---.. (__)
/ \ (oo)
| RIP | /-------\/
| | / | ||
| | * ||----||
| | ^^ ^^
| |
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////
Elvis's Cow... ...Or is it alive and living in tax exile???
(__)
(oo)
/---+ +--\/
/ | | | ||
* ||-+ +-||
^^ ^^ *
David Copperfield's Cow David Copperfield's other Cow
(__)
(oo)
/-------\/
/ | ||
* ||----||
^^ ^^
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
/-------\/ \/-------\
/ | || -^^- || | \
* ||---- -^^- || *
^^ ^^
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
/-------\/ \/-------\
/ | || || | \
* ||----|| ||----|| *
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Barnum's Troupe of performing cows
(__) _--------_
(oo) |__________| BIG
/-------\/ XXXXXXXXXX MAC
/ | 007 || __________
* ||----|| |_ _|
^^ ^^ --------
Cow licensed to kill Enemy Cow after having met previous cow
The cow that didn't jump
over the moon.
------------------------ !
!
^
/ \ Hey diddle diddle
/___\ The cat and the fiddle
|= =| The cow blew up on the
| | launch pad...
| |
ROCKET, | |
TAKING OFF | |
TOTALLY \\ | |
OBLIVIOUS TO ||||||> | |
THE FACT THAT // | |
THERE IS A | |
COW ON THE | |
LAUNCH PAD /|##!##|\
/ |##!##| \
/ |##!##| \
| / ^ | ^ \ |
| / ( | ) \ |
|/ ( | ) \|
(( ))
(( : ))
(( : ))
(( ))
(( ))
( )
. *
.
_ _ *
* \\ *= //
COW BLOWING \\ \\ =* //
UP,ON THE ||||||>> * * ( __ )
LAUNCH PAD // * * * . _ (oo) *
// *= *= * BOOM * ()
// *= * * * ==* \\
________________________________________________ = * \\
==============================================
// // !! \\ \\
// // || \\ \\
(__)
(oo)
/'^^^-m
(__) / '' ` )
(oo) o /| /|/|_ | /|
/ \/ / / _ / | | | |
/ _\===^ ___\_____/___ |_____|_|
___|__/ |/\ (___________(_) //|| ||
* ^ ^ * ww ww
Mrs. O'Leary's Cow Cow'nt Dracula
____ ____ |+++++|
|++++| ___ |++++| ____ |+++++|
|++++| |++ ______________________ |++++| |+++++|
|++++| |++/ /( )\ \ |++++| |+++++| __
| | |+| |-oo- | \______ |++++| |+++++| |++|
-----(__)--| \__\/ _(__)_ \ ----------------------------------
o ( oo /_______________________| (oo) \ | __
| _/\_| | M O O - B U S T E R S|__\/\ /| | /oo| - Bleaurgh!
|-| \\____ ------ )_ /| /\
-|_ \_|-_|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 0 _| * \/ *
\ | __________________________________/
| W| \ \_/ /----------------- \ \_/ /
/ /\ \ \___/ \___/
/ / \ \
^^^ ^^^ Who you gonna call...?
(__) (__) (__) (----------)
(00) (-o) (--) . . . ( *>YAWN<* )
/------\/ /------\/ /------\/ (----------)
/| || /| || /| ||
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
Cow w/ Glasses Flirtatious cow (winking) Cow after pulling an all-nighter
* (__) (__) (__) (__)
\ (oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
\-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/| |\ / / \ / \ / / \ \
//||----||\\ * //------\\ * \\--// * \\----\\
^ ^^ ^^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
Cow walking Cow jogging Same cow Cow braking
(__)
(oo) (__) o * (__)
\/ (oo)/ " | (oo)
____| \____ /-------\/(__ o=o=o=|------\/
---/ --** / | / | |
*____/ |___// * ||----|| ||----||
//--------/ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
//__ Cow Cow pooing
Cow marching standing
Side Front Side back (___) Where's all the bulls!
(__) (__) (__) (__) (O O)/
( oo (oo) oo ) ( ) ^ _/\ /\_ ^
/\_| /\/\ |_/\ / \ \\/ O \//
(___)
( --
\_ | - G'nite, and thank you for your support. Zzz z z z z z z z
\O
>> NOTE: When drawing new cows, please DO NOT use tabs! Thanks! <<
PLEASE DISTRIBUTE THIS FILE WIDELY -- IT IS *NOT* COPYRIGHTED.
(Besides, this is a classic that NO ONE should miss!)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
David A. Bader Permanent Addr:
CSEE Dept., Packard Lab 1402 Lorain Avenue
Lehigh University Bethlehem, Pa. 18018
Bethlehem, Pa. 18015 (215) 868-1311
(215) 974-8995
Internet: dbader(at)scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu or dab3(at)pl118f.cc.lehigh.edu
Bitnet: DAB3@LEHIGH.bitnet
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------- Teil 2 --------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
...:::/// THE SEQUEL OF THE COWS \\\\\:::...
Part 2 of the 5-part COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS!
________________________
(__) / \ * OFFICIAL EDITION *
(oo) ( Udderly Cool Cows! )
/-------\/ --'\________________________/ * SUMMER 1991 ISSUE! *
/ | ||
* ||----|| Edited by David A. Bader
^^ ^^ Please send your submissions to:
Cow dbader(at)scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
______
(__) | | (__)
(oo) | | ($$)
----\/ /-----^^^^^^ /-------\/
|| / | || / | IRS ||
---|| * ||----|| * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Eric the half a cow The unknown cowmic Tax Accowntant
(___) (___) (___)
(0 0) (0 0) (0 0)
\ / \ / \ /
__[_V_]__ __[_V_]__ __[_V_]__
/_________\===: /_________\===: /_________\===:
\OOO---OOO/ \OOO---OOO/ \OOO---OOO/
Cowed Forces
\ _ /
- ( ) - /\
/ " \ /| | (__)
(__) / | | (oo)\
________(oo) /____| | \/| \
/| \/ / \/ | \
/ |_______|| __(_______ |||__ \
* || || |__________| ||| ____\---*
^^ ^^
Thomas Edison's cow Cow hearing his master's voice
) ( _
(____) / \ (__) ==========I
/ = = \ ~ ==' `== (oo) \ |||||| I
(-O--O-) ~ 8 O O 8 /-------\/ \ ||||| I
( ) ~ /------- ( ) / | ||__o=< \ |||| I
/------- ||||||====== / | || \_/ * ||----| \ ||| I
/ | || \/ * ||----|| ~~ ~ \ || I
* ||----|| ~~ ~~
~~ ~~
Groucho Moo-x Chico Harpo
______________________ _______________________
| | | |
| (__) | | (__) |
| (oo) | | (oo) |
| /-------\/ | |---\/ /----|
| / | || | | || / | |
| * ||----|| | |--|| * ||--|
| ^^ ^^ | | ^^ ^^ |
|--------------------| |---------------------|
Normal Cow 0 Cow modulo one 1
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
______________\/______ ____ /-------\/ __
/___/___/___/___/___/_/| /___/| / | || _/_/|
|___|___|___|___|___|_|| |__||/|* //-----|||_|_||
|_|___|___|___|___|___|| |_|__|/|^^ ^/|___||
|___|___|___|___|___|_|/ |___|_|/ |___|_|/
Cow in the GDR before... ...and after 9-Nov-1989
______________(__)_________________ (__)
/_______________(oo)_______________ / (oo)
| \/ || \/
_|_ _|| ||
/__/_______________________________/__/| ||
( ) ( )| ||
| |________________________________| | | ||
\_____________________________________/] /------- /
[] [] [] / | ||
* ||----||
COW-CH ^^ ^^
Cowraffe
* *
\ /
\ /
/^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\ \/
/ (__) \ +----------+
| (oo) ^^^^^^^^^^^\ | | |
|^^^| \/. \\ // \_* |^^^| | |
| |-----`//`====='\\-----| | | |
| |-----//---------||----| | | |
| |_ _ _"_ _ _ _ _ "_ _ _| | +----------+
^||^ ^||^ || ||
"COWCH POTATO"
+------------+ +
| B A T E S | (__) o
| (0x) ( ) |C O R R A L | (**) /|
---------- | \/ ( ) +------------+ \==/ / |
|\ \ W------ | | ( ) v
| ---------- *---- ====; ( )
| | (__) | \ / ( )
\ | (oo) | \ | ( )
\ | \/ | \+ | ( )
---------- + ( )
Ice Cowbe COWBOOOOOM! | |
o o
Psycho Cow (with knife)
(__)
(oo) ------------------------- _______________________
/-------\/ - | Don't have a Bart, man! | |\ ^ ^ /|
/ | || ------------------------- | \ ^ ^ ^ / |
* ||----|| |(_\ ^ COW-PIE ^ /_)|
^^ ^^ |(oo\ ^ /oo)|
The Simpsons' cow | \/ \ ^ ^ / \/ |
|(__) \ / (__)|
\ / \(oo)(_\ ^ ^ /_)(oo)|
\_____________/ \\/ (oo\ /oo) \//
/\___________/\ \ \/ \ ^ / \/ /
Cow in / /\_________/\ \ \ (__)\ / (__) /
trouble / / /\_______/\ \ \ \ (oo) \^/ (oo)/
/ / / / (__) /\ \ \ \ \ \/ :(__)\//
___/_/_/_/_ (oo) \_\_\_\_\___ \ (__):(oo) /
\ \ \ \ \ \/ / / / / / \(oo): \/ /
\ \ \ \/_____\/ / / / \\/(__) /
\ \ \/_______\/ / / \ (oo)/
\ \/_________\/ / \ \//
\/___________\/ \:/
/ \
/ \
(__) (__) (______) (__)
(oo) (oo) ( o o ) (oo)
/--------\/ /^^^^^^^\/ /-----\ / /-------\/
./ | | ./ {^)))))_} / | |\/ / | ||
|--W-----| ||`` || * ||----|| * (.)(.)||
| | | | ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
^^ ^^
cow before weight cow after Conceited Dolly Parton's
loss program the program Cow Cow
(___)
( OO
______ ______ _____\_ | ______ (__) ______
| | | | | |\O cowstle | | (oo)| |
| |____| |____| | | |__\/_| |
| | | |
| | (__) | |
| __________ | (oo) | __________ |
| | | | \/-------\ | | | |
| | | | ___ | ___ |_\_ | | | |
| | (__) | |_| |_|_| |__|| |__| | (__) | |
| | (oo) | | (oo) | |
| \___\/___/ \___\/___/ |
| |
| |
( ______ )
( / \ )
( / \ )
( | | )
| | | |
| | | |
|_________________________|________|______________|
\ \
\ \
\ \
\ \ (__)
\ \ (oo) /
/---\----\/ /
/ | \ || * (__) /
* ||---\-\\ \ ( OO /
~~ ~~ \---\___/\_|\=/>
^^ ^^ | \===/>
\\_____// | /______/ /
|| | _________\\_\\_____/____________________
/\------\ ^ ^ /
(oo) \ /
(--) * /
Cow Circus: The flying Cowlendas Cow Circus: Tightrope walking
______________________
| |\
| (__) | |
| (oo) | |
| \/ | |
| / \ \ | |
///////// \_ \_/////// |
| | / | | (__)
| /++++++< | | _____(oo)
|==/====|==\=\=========|=|===========================\\/
| * | \_\_ | | / | ||
_______O)-----^---------------\O)_________________*__||----||_____
cow-lliope in the circus parade
*
\
w \ w (__)
\\ /\ // (oo)
\\/ \// \/
| | (__) >--( )--<
|(__)| (oo) / \
\(OO)/ .-\/-. >--- {} ---<
//\/\\ <| |> v /\ v
|| || \ \/ / | (oo) |
||__|| |\/\/| \(^^)/
/^^ ^^\ /----\ | |
/ ======== \ / \ | |
/ \ /* * * \ / \/ \
|==============| /__*_*_*_\ | \ |
\ / || || ^ / ^
\ ======== / ^^ ^^ *
\ ______ /
Cow balancing on ball Cowslip Cownilingus
(__) -'`- "Here's
(oo) ____________________ ( oo ^ mooing
/-------\/ | | /\_|-- at you,
/ | |\ / | o o o o o o | | \ \__ _ kid!"
* ||----| / ====================== | \___['
^^ ^ || || | ||
Cowncillor his cowch |____|-
| |
~ ~
(__) (__) (__) (__) humphrey cow-gurt
(oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
/-------\/ \/ \/ \/-------\
/ | || =================== || | \
* ||----|| || |--| |--| || ||----|| *
^^ ^^ -- ^ ^ ^ ^ -- ^^ ^^ (__)
A game of cowntract bridge (oo)
/ \/ ____________
/ \===^__| |
---------------------- _|___ /\ |______________|
(__) | \-/ \-/ || | |=====| | | |
(oo) | _|_ _|_ |__| | *I I| | | |
/-------\/ ---------------------- I I^ ^ | |
/ | || | \-/ | | | |
* ||----|| | _|_ |_| |_| |_| | wolfgang amadeus moo-zart
^^ ^^ ----------------------
Just a humble cownoisseur
(__) (__) (__) (__)(__) (__) (__)(__)(__) (__)
(oo(__)oo) (__)o) (oo)((__)(__)oo) (__)(o(__)o)(__)o)(__)
\/(oo)\/ (oo)/(__)/ (oo)(oo)\/ (oo) \(oo)/ (oo)/ (oo)
\/ \/ (oo) \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/
\/
a cownfluence
_______
(__( .-< | | |
(oo) | |___|___|
___\/___| |\_____/|
| | | | |
| | | |_______|
>-' | | _ | _ |
*----/\ /-------// |--(_)--|
/ \ / | || |_______| (__)
/ \ * ||----|| | | (++)
^ ^ ^^ ^^ |_______| \/
Egyptian Cow Marie Antoinette's Cow
_
________|@|________
| POLICE BOX | __
|---------------| (^\/^) \(:)/
|_______| / | \oo/ (o|o)
|| | || | | /-----\/ /-----\_/
||-----|| | | /| | /| |
||__|__|| | | V ||----|| ^ ||----||
| ___ | | | ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
| |___| | | | Vulcan Cow Klingon Cow
| _____ | (__)
|| || (oo) ---------
|| ||----//\/ ---< Master? >
|| ||B-9 \ | ---------
||_____||______\|
|_______|_______|
----------------
a Certain Time Lord's Cow (__) ---< EXTERMINATE!!! |
( ----0 ----------------
(___) "Moo have twenty _\/_
|===| seconds to comply." /oooo\---O
________\_/ / /oooooo\
| | | /oooooooo\
# ||______|| /oooooooooo\
|| || /____________\
^^ ^^
RoboCow a Dalek Cow
@ @
@@@ @
@@ @
Pffii @@@@ @@
___________D @@@@@@
|________ | _______
(__) | / \ /
( oo /~| | __ \ /
/\_|// | | / \ | |
_/____/__| | | | | |
| ___/-----------------_| (__)
| / \ \ \ `(oo)
| / \ | | |\/
| | O | / / __ /
|----| |-----------/ \-\\\ (__)
\ / | o | \\\ _( )_
________\___/____________\__/____\\\_____________/_/__\_\____
Cow Express Suicidal Cow
o _____________
/\ / \
[__] ( take off, eh! )
__ | \ / (oo) ----'\_____________/
\/----///\ /-------\/
*/\______(xx) / | ||__|
( ) * ||----| U
^^ ^
Pro-democracy cow from Beijing Canadian Cow
o o o o o o
o o o o o o o o o o
o o o o ( ) o ( ) o ( ( o
O ) ( ) ( ) (
o o (__) o o (__) o (__) o o (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo) o (oo) o
/------$$$$ o o /-------\/ o /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | $$$$ / | || / | || / | ||
* ||----|| o * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|| o
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Santa Cow and his rein cows caught in a Montana snow flurry
___
_/...\ *==\ ________________
__________ (___) /::::::\ (/_\) / \
/| `(0 0) |:::::::_ (o o) | Moo, Moo, Moo |
/ | \ / /-----+-+--- \ / /\________________/
* |||----|||-/ * / | | | | 0 ___/
||| ||| * | _ |_| _ |
|| --+_+- ||
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Cow -- --
| |_ | |_
/\ |____| |____|
/ O\ Santa Cows
/ , \
/ O \ _ - ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ - _
-/ , \- / |~ |~ \
/ O \ | |~ o| |~ o| |
/, , \ / \ o| o| /
/ O O \ / \ /
-/ , \- / / ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
/ O , \ / / .
/ , O ,\ (__) /* *\ / ./\.
/ O , O \ (oo) /\ /\ .//.\.
/ O \-\/ **** **** .///\\\.
------------------|| (oo) (oo) ////\\\\.
||/ ||----|| /-------\/ \/-------\ ||
|| ~~ ~~ /| || || |\ ~~
Merry Cow-ristmas * ||----|| ||----|| *
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Christmas Cowols
O
O O O
O *
Moory Cowristmas! ___ /|\
_____________________| |_____ /||o\
/______________________________\ /|o|||\
~ /________________________________\ /|||||o|\
~~ #### || | |||||||||||| | || /||o||||||\
~(oo) ||___|___||||||||||||___|___|| /||||o||||||\
/-------\/ || | |||||||||||| | || /|o||||o|||o||\
/ | || ||___|___||||||||||||___|__ || | |
* ||----|| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||oooooooooo| |ooooooo
oooo~~oooo~~oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
|----------------------| /\
| | /\ /\/ \
| | / \/ / \/\
| | / \ \
| | ----------------------------
|______________________|
\/
|----------------------| o-@@
|______________________|
Minimalist Dead Cow
----------------------
Mark Rothko Cow
____________________
----------------------------------------------- | (__) |
(__) | (__) | (__) | (__) | (__) | (__) | | (oo) |
( oo | ( oo | ( oo | ( oo | ( oo | ( oo | | /-------\/ |
/\_| | /\_| | /\_| | /\_| | /\_| | /\_| | | / | || |
----------------------------------------------- | * ||----|| |
(__) | (__) | (__) | (__) | (__) | (__) | | ^^ ^^ |
( oo | ( oo | ( oo | ( oo | ( oo | ( oo | | Ceci N'est Pas |
/\_| | /\_| | /\_| | /\_| | /\_| | /\_| | | Une Vache |
----------------------------------------------- --------------------
Andy Warhol Cow Rene Margritte Cow
oo --
\/
cow by night sleeping cow by night Chesire Cow
II
( MOOOOOO ! ) II\
________\ / II + (__) ..oo( Hey, there's a cow driving that car! )
|\ `v' \ + II (00)
| \________|____\ \II\ \/-------\
| ( ( @ @ ) ) II + || ||\ (__) ..oo ( How can he )
|\|______\_O_/___| + II ||----|| * (oo) ( afford that? )
| \_______________\ \II\ ~~ ~~ \/--------\
\ (OO_##########_OO) II + || || \
(\(_____[PHIL]_____) + II--+--+--+-II-+--+--+--II+--+--+--+II--+--+-
(_) (_) \II II ~~ II ~~ II
II--+--+--+-II-+--+--+--II+--+--+--+II--+--+-
What cows think when people MOO at them
/\\ ^ (__) (__)
/__\\ | ( oo _ (oo)
_ (o o) | /\__|( ) _ /-\/-\
/ \ /\_/\ / | \==//=(_) *POW!* / \
| /|I I| | ==== | |
^/ |I I| | | | |
| |I I| /| _ \ / \
| |I I| / / / \ \ __________\
| |_____| * || || \\
^ *^ ||_ ||_ (_)
cow giving forgiveness Moo-hammed Ali Cow Bell.
(!!) _/\_ \_\
!!!!!!!!(oo) _______(oo) _________(oo)
!/| \/ /| \/ /| Ferrari \/
!/ |______|| / |______|| / |________||
* || || * || || * || ||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Last of the Moo-hicans Mayflower cows Sports Cow
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
/--------------- \/ / ------------- \/
/ ( !S M T W T F S! ) / ( |7 8 9 +| )
/ ( +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ ) * ( |4 5 6 -| )
* ( +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ ) ( |1 2 3 X| )
( +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ ) ( |C 0 = /| )
(+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+) ^---------^
|| || || ||
|| || || ||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
"COWLENDER" "COWCULATOR"
/\
/ \ __ ________ ------
DOCTOR _/__\_ |__| | |====|
MOO/ /=(OO) (oo) * | v|
\/ --/==-\/==\ /-------\/ |^^ *|
/ | \==|| \==\ /// / | || ------
* ||-|==|| \==\/==/ * ||----||
~~ ///~~ \===/ ^^ ^^
Gallifreyan Cow Straight out of Cowllege
(__)
(oo)
/-------\/ # #
/ | || \\ //
* ||----||\ \\ //
^^ ^^ \ \ --- /
\ | |
| | |
| | |
| / \_/ \ (__)
| // \\ <--(xx)--#-
| // \\ /\
___________\|/___________
Cow-a-flower Cow at butcher's party
___--------___ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
/ . . . \ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
|\/ . (__) . \/| ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^oo^^^^^^^^^^^^
|| . . (oo) . . || ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
|/\ . \/ . /\| ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
\___ . . ___/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
--------- ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Cow in a haggis Cow on top of Ben Nevis
___________________________
| (__) (__) (__) (__) | * (__)
| ( oo ( oo ( oo ( oo | \ (oo)
_______| /\_| /\_| /\_| /\_| |________ \-------\/
| | | ||
| _____ _____ | ||----||
|___| |________________________| |____| (oo) (oo)
|___| |___|
Cow-pooling rollerskating cow
__ o oo o
(__) \||/
(__) (__) (___)
(__) (oo) (oo) (o o)
( ) /-------\/ /-------\/ /$$$$$$$\ /
( /* ) / | || / | || / $$$$$$$|O
| | * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||w---||
^ ^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Dairy-Air East Indian Cow Injun Cow Cash Cow
( )
(___) PRISON# # # # # ||| |||
(o o) # # # # #(_#) # (O O)
/------------\ / # # # # #(o#) # /------------\___/
/ | #-# # #/-#--#--#-\# # / | |||
* | ||| # # |# # #||# # / || |||
||--------||| # *# |#--#--#||# # * ||----------|||
^^ ^^ # # ^# # #^^# # ^^ ^^
Orville Redencow The Bakker Cows
(__) (__)
/ oo ______ / @@ ______
| /\_| | \ | /\_| | \
| |___ | | | |___ | |
| ---@ |_______| | ---@ |_______|
* | | ---- | | | | ---- | |
\ | |_____ | |_____
\|________| *____/|________|
CompuCow CompuCow After an All-niter
(__) (__)
/ -- ______ / .\/. ______
| /\_| | \ | /\_| | \
| |___ | | | |___ | |
| ---@ |_______| | ---@ |_______|
| | ---- | | * | | ---- | |
| |_____ \ | |_____
*____/|________| \|________|
CompuCow Asleep at the Keyboard CompuCow Discovers Bug in Compiler
\\ \\
\\ \\
/ \ / \
/ \ / \
\ \ \ \
\ \(__) \ \(__)
*--> (oo) *--> (oo)
/ / \/ o / / \/
/ / / /
\ / o \ /
\ / \ /
// //
// o //
B-2 Stealth Bomber cow Stealth cow on bombing run
___
/ \ ( ) Happy
| \ |--| Mooosic! (__)
| | \ /__ (oo)
+----------+ __oo| \ / -\/ (__)
|Steinway &|_ \/| | / || >----(oo)---->
|___ Sons ___|_/ |__| * ------|| /-------\/
| | | / / | ^^ / | ||
o o o | | ||---- * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^
Chopin'ing Cow TeX cow Steve Martin's cow
(__) +=============================+
(oo) | F R E D ' S S A L O O N |
______ ______\/ (__)| +-----+ |
__|______\__/____/\\[} (xx)| | ___ | |(__)
/ --- \\ --- \/ | |/=|=\| |(oo)
|[] / \ \ / / \ | |==|==| | \/
| @ | \____/ | @ | | |==|==| |
\ / \ / ------------------------------------
--- ---
COW-ASAKI Cows behind bars
__ _________ __ _________
( V _ _ )_ ( V )_
/ ( \o/ ) ) / //// )
( \_O_/ \ ( (---) \
\ /O\ ) \ |moo| )
( @ @ / ( (---) /
(_____/\____) (_____/\____)
o o
o o
o o
(__) (__)
/----(uu) /----(uu)
*__/| \o==s *__/| \o==s
/\(* \| __ \\----==s \)) /\(* \| __ \\----==s \))
|/))* | \ )*\||/))// |/))* | \ )*\||/))//
~ ~\/--\*) ~ ~\/--\*)
Dreaming Cow Cow Dreaming of Silage
(__) o o * (__)
(oo) o o \ (OO)
/-------\/==o o \-------\/
/ | || ____ [] | ||
* ||----|| |__| (/\)s==|----||
~~ ~~ /__\ ~ ~~
Cow blowing bubbles. Cow kicking over lantern that started
the Great Chicago Fire of 1885.
__// \__ |\__|\
/^^^)^^/ ) ( \^^(^^^\ | 00 |
/( _( ^/ \^ )_ )\ \---<( -- )>---/
/ \ // | / \ | \ / \ \ |--| /
/ \ O/ \O // \ \__/ \--/
( )/\ //\( ) ( )
/\ // \ /\ | |
/ / /W COW-TOW W\ \ \ --------
* \( )/ * || ||
\_ _// nn nn
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Cow after learning that
the vice president has a
(__) (__) (__) (__) lower IQ than he does
(oo) + (oo) = (oo) (oo)
\/ \/ \/ \/ (__,
(+o)
(__) (__)(__) (__) (__) (__) /-----#-----\'
(oo) + (oo)(oo) = (oo) (oo) (oo) / | Cownucks|| \
\/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ }}--------}} \ o
== == --
Cownting... This cow plays hockey
/.
moo /`'\ .
(__) MOO! ` / ./ \..
(oo) / ../ .' \.
/-------\/ ../ / ../ \
/ | || ./ ./ ./ \
* ||----|| ./ ./ \ \.
------^^----^^----- .../ ../ ../ \
\ / / /
Ech-cow (echo)
________________ (__)
^__^ / \ (--)s ---mmmmoooooooOOOOOO!
(oo) ( Milk is logical. ) __ \O//
/-------\/ --'\________________/ / ==s)\_____
/ | || *--/|_/-----/ OO COW
* ||W---|| |__ __ II JOYRIDES
^^ ^^ O O o o / \-----/ \
Mr Spock's cow \__/ \__/
* . . ,
. . * . .
. *
\ / , (__) , ,
- * - ( . |
. / \ , . \/ . - - .
. / \\ , |
, * * / /\\
. /\\ / . .
* . / \\ . .
_|_ , . , / , *
| . , . * , . .
. , . . . * .
The Milky Way
\ / ________________________________
\/ / \
(__) /\ | At times likes these you |
(oo) O O | REALLY CoVet a proper surgeon! |
_\/_ // O \________________________________/
* ( ) // O
\ (\\ // o
\( \\ ) o (__)
( \\ ) /\ (oo)
___[\______/^^^^^^^\__/) o-)__ /\/\
|\__[=======______//________)__\ Cocown (\==/)
\|_______________//____________| \<>/
||| || //|| |||
||| || @.|| ||| (___) /^^^^^\
|| \/ .\/ || /- -\ / MU /
. . ( ^ ) __/______/
'.'.` \_O_/
COW-OPERATION Buddha's Cow
(_ ~ - _) / ~
( - - | =s
O | *
| O \ \ - |
| \ |
- - |
)
Cow after one too many Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters.
(__) ---_
(__) _______________* (oo) /| \
(xx)-\ \ /-------\/ / |\ \_ (__)
\/ /-\___________\--\ / | | * ||\ (oo)
* ------ ~~ \____ \/
Boneless Cow No leg cow (ground beef) Two leg cow (lean beef)
(__)
(oo)
\/ \___/
/ / \\ (0 0)
/ /\\ \ /
/\\ / v
/ / \\ |
/ <-------|------->
/ * |
|\ |
/ | \ / __|__
\\ \ \/ \/
/ \\ \ \/ \/
/ \\___\ \/ \/
/ \\ __|__
/ \\ \ /
/ / / \\ |\ /|
/ \\ | V |
/ / \\ | |
/ \\ | |
/ \\ W W
\\
===============================O=========== Stick Cow sunbathing
=========================================== at Malibu wearing a
O) O) special cow bikini.
The dreaded cowtapult
(__) (___) ** ((__))
(__) (__) (___) \\ ((oo))
(oo) ( ) ( ) \\------\\//
| \/ | ( /*) | | || ||
| | || || | | |||----|||
(___) ^^^ ^^^
Cows doin' it Cows doin' it \_* Cow during an
FRONT VIEW BACK VIEW TOP VIEW Earthquake
(( _ _ (___) (__)
( D\ (_)(_)____ (0 0) (oo)
_______\__| | MOOTV____( /-------\_O---moo *-\/-------\
/| || _/\____/ / | || / || | \
/ ||____| \/^ / \ * ||,---|| * ||-----|| *
* || | O O ^^ ^^ \/|(/)(/\(,,/
^^ ^ Romie mooed... while Julie ate.
"Moo-vie Camera" (The Bard's barnyard inspirations)
______________________________________________________
| |
_______ | |
/ _____ | | ACME MOO-VERS |
/ /(__) || | |
________/ / |OO| || | |
| |-------|| | |
(| | -.|| |_______________________ |
| ____ \ ||_________||____________ | ____ ____ |
/| / __ \ |______|| / __ \ / __ \ | | / __ \ / __ \ |\
\|| / \ |_______________| / \ |_| / \ |__| |___________| / \ |__| / \ |_|/
| () | | () | | () | | () | | () |
\__/ \__/ \__/ \__/ \__/
"The Moo-vers are here!"
-- (__) * (__)* (__)* (__)* (__)
*--- - (QQ) \ (oo) \ (oo) \ (oo) \ (o-)
- \------\/ \-------\/ ^^\-------\/ ^^\-------\/ ^^\-------\/
--- | | | // | // | // | ||
- ||()--|| ||------+ ||------+ ||------+ ||----||
oo oo ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Roller Cow Cows in polonaise
-------------/
/
/
/
/
/
/ (__)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Ship arriving too late to save a drowing cow (apologies to Frank Zappa)
\ / ____
|\/| {___} \__/ \/ * \/
(oo) ( * ) (--) | O O |
/-------\/ V /--------\Q/ /--------\/ \ /
/ | ||__| / | || / | || \**/
* ||----| * ||-----|| * ||----|| --
^^ ^ -- -- -- -- Milkael
Cow from Vulcan Smoking 1-eyed cow Cow w/ rabbit ears Cowbachev
(*) (*)
(__) ^ ^ (__)
(oo) | | | @(oo)@
[..] | = | [..]@@
\ | U (-) | | | | (-) U @@@@
|| ==<_\=====/_|______=_____|=|____________=__|____\====/_>== ||
|| ) |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ( ||
||___)==||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||==(___||
|\====| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |====/|
| \ | | | | / |
= * = = = = * =
cows having candlelight dinner
(___)
(o o)
( ** ) __\_/__
|e e| //^^*^^\ \___/
\ / ____*===*______* / * \ (O O)
OO * Givenchy *\ / | * | \ \ /
| * * * \ \ |=====| / O
/**************** * "|_____|"
// ************* | | | Cow exclaiming
|| || \_/|| | | | "Holy Cow"
|| || || || |_|_|
v| v| v| v| ^ ^
Haute Cowture COWNT
|\
|[] |\
(__) | |[] |\
(--) | (__) | |[] |\
* _________\/ /| (o-) | (__) | |[]
| (__) /,, ,, /_|_______\/ /| (oo) | (__) |
| __(oo) *--------------/,, ,, /_|_______\/ /| (OO) |
\===== |\/ | *--------------/,, ,, /_|_______\/ /|
_|_/ \_ |===========| *--------------/,, ,, / |
-//\-----/\\ o |===========| *----------------|
\_/ \_/ o |===========| |
---------------- o |================|
Cowazaki COW-WARD o o
______________________________
/ \
( Freisian a jolly good fellow! )
\________________ ____________/
) ) ()
(__) // ( )
(__) (oo) / (___) ( __ )
/(oo)---\/ (o o) (oo)
/-------\/ || \ /-------\ /-------/||||
/ | ||----|| O|| | \ / | || |||
* ||----|| ^^ ||---,|| * * ||----|| |
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Two cows COW-ngratulating a bull Ayatollah Cow-manhi
(__) |====|
/--------------------/ (oo) \oo/
/ | || / (__) /-------\/ /-------\/
* ||----|| /-----------(oo) / | ||----> / | ||
^^ ^^ \/ * ||----|| * ||----||
___/ ___/ ^^ ^^
Network Virtual Cow Cowcatcher
(with separate frontend and backend) Cow waterskiing (Major league)
/\ __
{__} _[__]_
(oo) /(oo)\
/-------\/ /------@\/@
/ | + || / | |@@
* ||----|| * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Sacred Cow Zen Cow (eating grass) Hasidic Cow
_____ _________________
/ \ / \
( 1+2=3 ) ( 1+SIN(2x)+COS(3x) )
\__ _/ \_____ __________/ (__)
( ( ) ) >(==)
\\ // )__( /-\/-\
\ (__) / (oo) /( )\
(oo) \/-------* ^ ( ) ^
/-------\/ || | \ ( )
/ | || ||----|| \ /----\
* ||----|| vv vv / \ \
^^ ^^ ^ * ^
COWculator (2) Reverse Polish Cow Cow-a-bunga
^^ ^^
O (___) || * ||----||
| (o o) || \ | ||
(no-bull-ity) ---> % -\ /- || \-------/\
|\/| O | || (oo)
| | | || ( )
/ v-' || ><
/==========| ( )
// || (oo)
,------._(__) || || /-------\/
* | \ ( oo || || / | ||
vv====>----=\/====vv |===========| * ||----||
^^ ^^
COWTOW Bi-cow molecule
(__) (__)
() () _____| oo | |oo|
()() / | /----|-|__|-|
(oo) / | / | ||
/-------UU /____________| * ||----||
/ | || ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
* ||w---|| Cow dressed up Cow dressed up
^^ ^^ as ghost as Frankenstein
Eh, What's up Doc? for Halloween For Halloween
(__) |\/| (__)
(oo) (oo) >(==)
__[_]__\/ /-------VV /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | ||
* ||----|| --> . * ||----|| * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ~~ ~~
Portable Cow Japanese model Lycownthropy Cow-a-bunga (2)
(very handy) portable COW
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
|
------- | This concludes the second part of THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS.
| COW | | Please distribute this file WIDELY on BBSes, etc. It is in
------- | the public domain. ((THANKS TO ALL WHO CONTRIBUTED COWS!!))
|
Iconified Cow | Please send me your COWS for the next edition! When drawing
| cows, please DO NOT use tabs - use only "real" spaces.
---------------'
Cowments? Cowntributions? Send them to the editor...
David A. Bader // dbader(at)scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
David A. Bader Permanent Addr:
CSEE Dept., Packard Lab 1402 Lorain Avenue
Lehigh University Bethlehem, Pa. 18018
Bethlehem, Pa. 18015 (215) 868-1311
(215) 974-8995
Internet: dbader(at)scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu or dab3@pl118f.cc.lehigh.edu
Bitnet: DAB3@LEHIGH.bitnet
----------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------- Teil 3 ----------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
...:::/// THE RETURN OF THE COWS \\\\\:::...
Part 3 of the 5-part COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS!
________________________
(__) / \ * OFFICIAL EDITION *
(oo) ( We're back! )
/-------\/ --'\________________________/ * SUMMER 1991 ISSUE! *
/ | ||
* ||----|| Edited by David A. Bader
^^ ^^ Please send your submissions to:
Cow dbader(at)scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
_______________________
|^^^^| ( Dammit, Jim, I'm a )
| | ( doctor, not a butcher!)
@| Oo (---------------------))
(MM) | ._> (__) )
(oo) \ / (oo)
/-------\/ /--------- /-------\/
/ | || / | || / I * II
* ||----|| * ||-----|| * II----II
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cowabunga! Bart Simpcow Dr. Bones McCow
________________ (__)
// (__)(__)||(__)\\ (oo)
// (oo)(oo)||(oo) \\ /-------\/
// \\"\/""\/"||"\/"/ \\ / //____\\
/ ============||=======\\ * // \\
(| |- ||- ||)
|________|_____||________||/ ***********
\-( O )----------( O )--/ **** ***
--- --- *** *
****o
Cowpool ******
***
*** *
(__) *** ***
(oo) ******
/-------\/___()~
/ | || Cow jumping over the moon
* ||----||
^^ ^^
Cow smoking a pipe
o o o o o o o
o o o o o o o o
(__) o o o o o o
(oo) o o o o o o
/-------\/___() o o o o
/ | ||
* ||----||
^^ ^^
Cow blowing bubbles from a pipe
* * * o @ ~ *
* * * , o * * *
(__) * * * . * o
(oo) * * ) . *
/-------\/ * -(*)- ~ @ *
/ | || (
* ||----||
^^ ^^
Cow star-gazing
|
\|/
----*----
/|\
|
(__)
(oo)
/-------\/
/ | ||
* ||----||
^^ ^^
Cow wishing upon a star
________ _______
(__) / \ (__) / \
(oo) ( Squeak!! ) (oo) ( !oMo! )
/-------\/ --'\________/ /-------\/ --'\_______/
/ | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----||
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
A Cow-mon Dyslexic
Mistake Cow @@@@@
@@\0 0/@@
(o o)
___________________________ ** |U| **
/ / / / ***( )***
/ /__________/ / // \ / \\
/ / // *** \\
/ / *******
/ / ***********
/ / ***************
/ 3.5" 135tpi / *******************
/__________________________/ *********************
*********************
Cow Stored as Binary
Information. Cow Belle
* (__) .
\ (oo) .'
...\------\/ '.
(__) (__) . (__) || (__)
(oo) (oo) . (oo)----|| (oo)
/-------\/ /------\ / /-------\/ ^^/-------\/
/ | || / | |\/ / | || \| ||
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|| *><----><
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow Cow feeling Cow feeling Cow feeling
pissed off pissed on pissed
(__) * (__) * (__) ( )
(oo) \ (oo) \ (OO) ( )
/-------\/ ..\-------\/ \-------\/ ( ( )
/ | || . | || / \\ ( ) )
* ||W---|| . ||----|| //------\\ ( )
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow about to Cow giving Cow who's just Cloud of dust where
give milk U.H.T. milk seen a McDonalds same cow was before
(__) (__) s * )__(
(oo) (@@) s / (oo)
/-------\/ /-------\=== (__) \--___--\/
/ | || / | || /------(xx) | |
* ||----|| * ||----|| * \ /\/ /\----/ \
WWWWWWWWWWWWW ^^ ^^ ===----==== ^ ^ ^ ^
Cow standing in Cow SMOKING Dead cow Mad Cow
long grass grass
(__) (__) (___) * (___)
(00) (oo) (@ @) \ (* *)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\ / \-------\ /
/ | || / | || / | |O | |O
* ||----|| * ||O---|| * ||O---|| ||@>--||
^^ ^^ [__]. ^^ [__]. ^^ ^^ ^^
Norwegian cow Calf having Calf making Same bull after
drink mistake calf went away
(__) * (__) (__) (__)
(DD) \ (xx) (oo) (oo)
/-------\/ \-------\/ /-",",", \/ /-------\/
/ | || | || ./,|",",","," / | (+) ||
* ||----|| ||----|| |""""""2| * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ~~ ~~ ^^ ^^
Cow watching Cow having a Jersey Cow The "bummer of
above bull sexual fantasy a birthmark" Cow
(with due accowlades
to Gary Larson
-\ /- (The Far Side))
'\/'
(oo) _________
/------- \/ | \ /|
./ | , | - -X- - |
|------| |/______\_|
--|------|---------|-------
/---------------------------\
/ __ \\
// / \ __ \\
/// / \ \\\
Highland Cow
________ \
|########| \
|########| \
--------\ \
(__) | \
(oo) | \ ______________________
\/ | | |
/+++\ o | |
/+++++\ | ____ |
~ #/##\#~ \ | / To | |
/ ii \ \ | \ W.C.| |
~~ ~~ \ | ---- |
\ | |
\ | |
In"cow"tinent \|------------------------
(__) (oo) /-------\/ / | || * ||----|| ^^ ^^
A well adjust(1)ed Cow
(__)
(oo)
^^ ^^
/-------\/
/ | ||
* ||----||
An ass-sort(1)-ed Cow
>ysP -"JlAe B x
A compress(1)ed Cow
awk: Usage: awk [-f source | 'cmds'] [files]
An awk(1)ward Cow
begin 644 cow
M"B @(" @(" @("A?7RD*"2 H;V\I"B @+RTM+2TM+2U<+PH@+R!\(" @("!\
;? HJ("!\?"TM+2U\? H@("!>7B @("!>7@H*
end
uuencoded cow
__
_|__|_
(oo)
/-------\/
/ |===w=||_|OO ... .... (bullets,where w=gun)
* ||----|
^^ ^
this is the cowboy-cow, in case u are wondering 'where
the hell is the horse then ?', let me
inform u that it too needs recreation and
has gone to play man-shoes !!
___________________________
| | (__) \
| | (oo) |
| | /-------\/ \____ Cow'ndom
| | / | || ____) Use it to prevent AIDS
| | * ||----|| /
| | ~~ ~~ |
| |___________________________/
/-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|[] ________ ________ ------ ________ ________ ________ ------ __
/ | (oo) | | (oo)| |[][]| |(oo) | |oo)(oo| |(oo) | |[][]| |
| | _\/__| |___\/_| |[][]| |_\/___| |\/__\/| |_\/___| |[][]| |_
|--------------------------| |--------------------------------| |----
| | | | |
+---/OOO==OOO\-------------======---------/OOO==OOO\-------------======----
Cow-st liner
_-_
(__) [ ]
(oo) /-_-
\/-------/
|| |
||----||
~~ ~~
(__) *
(oo)
/-------\/ ~~____________________________________________
/ | // ||\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/||
* ||------+ ||/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\||
~~ ||\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/||
_-_
[ ] (__)
-_-\ ( )
\--------
| ||
||----||
~~ ~~
Andrei Ag-cow-si
(__)___________________________________________________________(__)
(oo) (oo)
\/_____________________________________________________________\/
Cowaxial Cable
(__) (__)
( V V ) (oo)
(>O O<) /-------\/
( A A ) / | ||
/-------\/ * ||----||
/ | || | \ | \
* ||----|| V> V> V> V>
^^ ^^
Tammy Fae Baker's cow Imelda Marcos' cow
(__) / _
(oo) / / \
-\/-/ | + |
/\__/_| (___) |___|
/ / (o o) (o o)
| / /_______\ / /-------\ /
\ _ / / |-,---||O / | ||O
| | * || || * ||,---||
^ ^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow Ripken Bullemic Papal Bull
| ==================================
| = =
| = _____ =
| = ______ / \ =
| = / \ | \ =
| = / ||\ (__) =
|## (__) m m = (__) __ || \ (oo) =
| ## (oo) / / = (oo) / \||(__) \/ =
| ## |\/ / / = \/ (__) ||(oo) =
| ## | / / m m = (oo) || \/ =
| ## \ \ / / = \/ || =
| ## \ / / = || =
| ## \ / / = || =
| ## \-- = || =
| ## | = || =
| ## --* = || =
|____________##_______________ = || =
## = || =
## = =
## = cow-cow nut =
## = =
## = =
## ==================================
##
##
##
##
Cow-sine wave
Cow tipping:
Step 1. Step 2.
(__)
(--)
/-------\/ O--------O_
/ | || /| :: |_)
* ||w---|| * O--------O
~~ ~~
*
(__) ________ * *
(oo) ====________| * *
/-------\/ /\
/ | || / \ *
* ||----|| / \
~~ ~~ / \
A Cowsmologist
\ / _ /\ ` `_______ ` `
/\/______\/ / \ `/_/_|_\_\ `
| (__) /(`')\ ` |(__) `
*---|______(^^) /-------\/ ` |(oo) `
\/ / | || ` ` J \/ `
* ||----||
Cowt-of-order ~~ ~~ Cow in Bergen, Norway
(Me-cow-nical failure) Cowloon (Rains 300+ days a year)
(___) ________
.____ (o o) / \ )
/ \ / --| UGGGGH! |
/ || O \________/
/ / ||
/ / ||
/_____/__, ||
*------'---------' ~~
Sitting Bull Bull's Eye
_________________________
(___) / ...The President then \
(o o) / had to take into serious \
/-------\ / ----| consideration what implica- |
/ | ||O \ tions it would have for.../
* ||,---|| \_________________________/
~~ ~~
Bull-etin from the White House.
________________________________________________
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
%% %% %% %%
|| || || ||
|| || || ||
|| || _ (_) \o/ || ||
|| || /|_|(_) | || ||
____||______||_"_|_|_______/_\______||______||____
The Roman Cowliseum...where ancient Christians were fed to
vicious beasts...
_
| \ (___)
| \ (__) (__) (~ )
*----|---------------(oo) (oo) (o o)
| ______ |\/ /-------$/ /-------$/
|___/ /_____| / | ^^ || / | ||
/ / \____/ / / * ||-----| * ||------|
/ > > / ^^ ^ ^^ ^
> > MacCow MosCow
Stelth Cow
*
vv vv /
||____M__||/
|| || (__)
/\||_______|| (xx)
(Xx) \/
(--)
Cow by Georgia O'Keefe
Dead Cow
(__)
(oo)
\/
/\
__/---\ //\\
<__/-(__) o/||\o
(oo) (oo) //o||\\\
/-------\/ /--\/ o///||o\\o
/ | || / -- ||
* ||----|| || =====
^^ ^^
A Christmas Cow-el
The Butcher of Baghdad Karen Cowpenter
(Saddam Holstein)
(__ (__) (__) | | (__)
(oo) (--) (--) | | (--)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /o /-------\/ | I \/-------\
/ | || / | L |----< o / | D |--------| M | \
* ||----|| * ||----| / o * ||----| I I |----|| *
^^ ^^ ^^ ^ | ^^ ^ | ^ ^^
| |
Cow owned by
Vincent Van Gogh Teenage Mutant Ninja Cows
\\ //
\\( )// (__)
(o o) ( ) /(oo)\
\ / (oo) / \/ \
/ \ ##########\/ / /\ \
| | # ######## # / / \ \
\___/ * # ###### # | | | |
// | \\ # # # # | | | |
// \\ |___| |___|
" " Mosscow Cowderoys
Cow11
_____
<_____>
( ) (==) |
(oo) __ /------\/- *
/---*-.---\/ (oo) / | | \/|
/ |* . * .|| /-------\/ * | |
* ||------|| : :: |===|===|
~~ ~~ ::----:: ^^ ^^
^^ ^^
Cow w/ cowpox Boris Cowlile Cow on Graduation day
/
/\ /
\/ (__) / \ | /
|| <`'> / \ | /
(_||_) \/ /^ _____ ___ _____
__\||/__ #=======> | _ /(o o) \
| /xx\ | ( )==/ (_)------/---\ / \
__\xx/__| I____I | ||
/ww\ ,---( _ ) . ||----||
/| |\ / || \_=======|| oo oo
|^ ^| ||
^ ^ || heli-COW-pter
==
COW giving birth The Ninja Cow
* (__)
\ (oo) ________(__)_
\---------------\/ |COW-SIO (oo) | (_--_)
| 0.0 | | _______\/ | /*__*\
|---------------| | |_________| | * __|(oo)|_
| C CE ^ - | | | \/--( \|==|/ )
| 7 8 9 + | | C = / * | | \ /
| 4 5 6 * | | 7 8 9 - | \ \ | | | |
| 1 2 3 / | | 4 5 6 + | | |-\ /-\ /
| 0 . = | | 1 2 3 | ^ ^ ^ ^
| || | 0 . = | NFL Dallas "COWBOY"
||-----------|| |_____________|
^^ ^^
Cow-culater Cow-culator
(__) (__) (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\//-------\/
/ | || / | || /| || /| ||
* ||----||* ||----||* ||----||* ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
COW-comitant
(__) (__) (__) (__)
($$) (&&) (YY) (%%)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ .. .. $& #Y
USA'$ cow GB'& cow JP'y cow Bank'% cow
_____________
| |
| YALE 45 |
| | |
|HARVARD 52 | |
|_____________| |
______|====\
\/\/\/ \\
\/\/ \\
\\
\\
(__) __ \\
(oo) /)(\ \\
* / \/_/~\__/ ||
\ / __/~ ||
\/ / ||
| _/ ||
| | ||
~ ~ ------
Hoosier
Cow
. .
. . (__)
(___) . (___) . (oo)
(o o) . (- -) . /-------\/ 5+2=?
\ / . \ / . / ! !!
Q.. Q.. * !!----!!
^^ ^^
smokin' cow waisted cow cow who cow'nts
(__) (__)
(00) ( )
/----------------\/ \/---------------\
/ | | | | \
* ||-----------|| |||----------||| *
^^^ ^^^^ ^^^ ^^^
SIDE VIEWS
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
* |
^^^ ^^^
BACK VIEW FRONT VIEW
^ (___)
_- --/ - `\ ^ |*-*|
_________/_________ ^____ _ \o/`-\
" /| \ / U |
(__) ` /_| _ - \/\ | /
|@@| | | //
\/`--------.__/ | C/
| / \---/
//`---\/|| |/\ |
|| || || ||
|| ||
|| ||
Helicowpter
Cool Cow
(__) (__) |
(oo) ($$) |__ /---------o*o
/---------------------\/ /-------\/---|| / | ||
/ | | | | | || / | | || * ||-----||
* ||--||--||--||--||--|| * ||----| -- ^^ ^^
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cowterpillar Yuppie cow with Cow that was captured
mobile phone. by head-shrinkers
((( ))))
(( ( ))) ( ) I'm a cow, man !
( ( ) ) ) ^^^^^ /
( ( ( )))) | | _/
( ( / ) ) ) O O /
( ( \\ ) ) ) \ C / -
( : // ) ) ~
: : / \
: : O / | | \
: : ( | | )
: : \ \___/ /
: : (__) W/ \W
: : (oo) /|_n_|
: : ----\/ / || ||
: : :: | () ()
: : ---:: * || ||
------------^^ VV VV
Newton's Cow
(aka Mooton) Bart Cow
__
>(__) This cow will make all those decisions for you by changing
(oo) color according to the action you should take.
/-------\/
/ | || If this cow appears to be:
* ||----||
^^ ^^ GREEN: Yes, Go ahead
MAGIC DECISION
MAKING COW. WHITE: No, unless it is raining.
AMBER: Buy a better monitor/terminal
GRAY: Adjust your contrast/brightness control
BLACK (on black): Turn terminal/monitor on.
BLACK (on white): Lucky git!
ANY OTHER COLOR: Send terminal/monitor to repairer's,
quickly!
/~~\ +
) ( \__/ O O
( o)\ ========== o_o_o
* \o / / {__} \ (___)
\ \/-----\ / (**) \ (___)
\----- || \ \ \/ / (___)
$ | --|| * \"mon / ( 00
||-vv-- ~~ \ parfum"/ \_ |
~~ ======== \_o
Pablo Picowsso Paloma Picowasso King Cowles II
______ ___________
: Oui? : : :
_______ `v-----' : CORNED :
: Nee! : (__) : BEEF :
`------v' (oo) :_________:
/-------\/
/ : :: An exercise found in a text book of quantum
* ::----:: mechanics: "solve the Schrodinger equation
^^ ^^ of a cow in a box. Please, pay attention on
the boundary conditions!"
Belgian Cow
(__)
(oo)
/-------\/
/ : :: (/\)
* ::----:: /oo\ (__)
XX======^^====^^==>> /-----/____\ (--)
X US MISSILE >> / | || /--------\/
X Greetings >>> * ||----|| / \ | \__
X George >> ~~ ~~ * /__-------__|
XX================>> ~ ~
Cow klux klan Cow resting
Irakean Cow
___()
COW ------------| o\
| )O-------------- MOO
-----|____/ /
\ /
\ / (____)
\ / \( )
\ / |\( )
\ / \ \( )
\ / \ \( )
X |\ \( )
/ \ | \ \( )
/ \ \ \(____)
/ \ \|_o_o_|
/ \ | |
/ \ | |
/ ___() \
-----| o\ \ cow chip
| |O-------------- ~MOO
BULL ---------- |____/
Cow Flop (new flip-flop, patent pending)
( ) ( )
\ / \ /
\___/ \___/
(o o) (o o)
/-------------\o/ /-------------\o/
/ | || / | ||
* ||-,--------|| * ||@\\-------||
|| || || \\ ||
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Texas Longhorn Steer Texas Longhorn Bull
__
(__) ( ) (__)
(oo) / (oo)
_______\/ / \ _______\/
/ / \ /| |
/ | || / \ / || ||
* ||-__-|| (_____________) * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Pregnant Cow Hanger De-calf-inated
(__) (__) iiiiIiiii
(oo) (oo) '|o o|`
/---------\/ ---------\/ ________\_/
/| | || / | || / | |
* |__|-----|| //____\-----|| # ||ww____||
|| || * || || || ||
~~ ~~
cow-boy cow-girl Happy Hannucow!
(or a Sco(w)ttish cow-boy)
/\
/ \
/ \
| |
/ * * \
/ ** * \
/ * ** \ **
/ * * \ ** **
. . . | | * * <--- the world
. . / **** \ * *
. . . / * * \ ** **
. . . / **** \ **
. / * * \
. | |
. / **** \
. / * \ . .
. / **** \ . .
/ * \ . .
/ **** \
| | . . .
| **** |
| * * | . . .
| **** | . . .
| * * | . . .
|------------------------------| . .
| (__) (__) (__) (__) (__) | . .
. /| (oo) (oo) (oo) (oo) (oo) |\
/ | /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ | \ . . .
. / |=|==|==|==|==|==|==|==|==|==|=| \ .
. / | | | | | | | | | | | | \ .
/ USA | ~||~ ~||~ ~||~ ~||~ ~||~ |NASA \ .
|______| ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ |______| .
. (______________||______________) . .
. /_\ /_\ . . .
!!! !!!
The herd shot 'round the world.
(_ _)
___ (o o)
(__) _- -_( )
(++) /- O O
/____O/ / | ||
/| || * ||-___-||
* ||--|| ~~ ~~
~~ ~~
This cow belongs to This cow belongs to
Mr. Bill Rosanne Barr
_________(__)___
| -------------- |\
(__) (__) "slurp" /|| || \
(oo) (oo) / ||milkfat 1% || \
/-------\/ \/-------\ * * ||______________|| /
/ | || \__/ || | \ * |________________|/
* ||----|| | | ||-----|| * * || ||
~~ ~~ |__| ~~ ~~ * ~~ ~~
*
cowoperation ----------------------
/ - - - - - - - - --- /
/ - - - - - - - - --- /
----------------------
(oooo) personal cowmputer
oo( -0 )oo
/ ------------ \/
/ | | /|
/ | ----\_/ | / |
> < ||| ||| / |
||| ||| |/ |
~~ ~~ \ |
Wendy Wellesley Cow- /| // (__)
note the shapely figure and painted / /\// (oo)
hooves---and the sexy wink reserved | | / /-------\/
for MIT men. | / / | ||
| / * ||----||
| / ^^ ^^
_____ * |/ breacowt!
(_____) /
( OO )_____________ /
(/~~\) ######### \/ |\------------\
\O_/ * * * * |= = = = = =|- SCUD )
| ######### | |/------------/
| |__________| |
|| | || |
|| | || |
~~~~ ~~~~
Saddam moo-sein
@
(__) (__) _____/
/| (oo) _ (oo)/----/_____ *
_o\______/_|\_\/_/_|__\/|____|///== *- * * -
/_________ \ 00 | 00 | /== -* * -
[_____/^^\_____\_____|_____/^^\_____] *- * -
\__/ \__/
Cow-mobile
(()) (()) ||||
(oo) (oo)
/------\/ (OO) /------\/
/| | /------\/ /| |
* ||----|| /| | * ||----||
^^ ^^ * ||----|| ^^ ^^
^^ ^^
Don King cow Don King cow after Buckwheat cow
getting electric shock (Otay? Otay!)
/\
/ \ (__) __
(oo) (oo) (oo)
/------\/ /-ooo--\/ /------\/
/| | /|o | o | /| |
* ||----|| * ||o^o || * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
"Conehead" cow Anti-war cow Sinead O'Connor Cow
o o - -
O Moo!!!!
ghost-cow sleeping ghost-cow
Cow-nty Police Officer Cow-nty Police Car
___
[___] ____|___|____
(o o) / [__] \
/------------\-/ / (oo) \
/ | ||^ |V / |\/| \
| | <**> | |-----------------|
* -----/\------ | Cow-Price |
|| O O || |_________________|
|| || \_________________/
|| || | | | |
oo oo |__| |__|
(With gun and Handcuffs)
(it's a Cow-Price)
(Classic of course)
\ /
\ /
(__) \ (__) /
/\/\_(oo) \ /\/\_(oo) /
// == \ // == /
/ | /\/\|| \ / | /\/\|| /
* || || \ * || || /
^^ ^^ \___^^____^^_____/
Silly cow
(his father was a camel) Sillycow-valley.
___ __ __ _
(( /\ (__) ( /\/ \(__) (__) //
\\ /\ (oo) \ /\\/(oo) _(oo) //
,----\ /\--\/ ,----\ /\--\/ /----/ \\/ //
( ) ) ) // || ( ) ) ) // || / ||-- ( ) ====
`-----//--|| `-----//--|| * || \_( ) //
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^ ^
beecows Cownan the barbarian
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
/-------\/ /-----------------\/
/ | || / | /qwertyuiop \||
* ||----|| * || asdfghjl; ||
^^ ^^ || zxcvbnm,./ ||
sliced cow ^^ ^^
keyboard-cower
( )
(oo)
/--------\/
/ || ||
* ||------||
|| ||
( ) || ||
(oo) || || | | | |
/--------\/ || || || || || ||
/ || || || || || || || ||
* ||------|| || || || || * ||------||
|| || || || || || \ || ||
|| || || || || || \--------/\
|| || || || || || (oo)
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ( )
high cow very high cow broken very high cow
__ (__)
(__) (__) (oo)
(\/) (oo) < vv >
/-------\/ /-------\/____) / \
/ | || / |______ | | /| |\
* || || || || __ / |( )| \
____||_____||_____/ _______ / ||""||\ \
cow san /___||__||_*_\
Ge-cow-logist ~~ ~~
Cownt Dracula
\ ,_________________./ /
(__) -/.__________________ -
oo ) \ (__) / \
_!_/_ \ (oo) /
!--!-\___/ !\ \.\/./
!__! ! ! \ | |
\___/ * | |
/ W \ / | |
! ! o / / / \'
! ! /|\/' | \
______/_\_________________|______\ _____
Cow from ^ ^
Velke Popovice Brewery David and Cowliath
.
. .
. . . __ __
. ||______________________||
. . || __________________ ||
/ || | (__) | ||
. . / || | (oo) | ||
| -|| | _\/_ | ||
. . \ || |=---------/(())\-\| ||
(\ |\-----------------------\
. (\ || \_______________________\
\|| | |
. \| | (O) |-----------| (O) | .
\ | |-----------| | .
. \ | PETERBILT | .
\| |
. (=========================)
|_||_| |_||_|
. \
. \
Pompano Beach or bust!
^^^
^^^^^^^
++++++++++ ************************ ^^^^^^^^^^^
++++++++++ ************************ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
++++++++++ ************************ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
++++++++++ ************************ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
++++++++++ ************************ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*********************************** \ /
*********************************** \ /
*********************************** \ /
*********************************** \ /
\ ^(__) /
\ / (@@) /
82nd Cowborne Cowtrooper \|__\/__
| | |
| | |
|__|-^-
/ \ \__*
| |
^ ^
-----------------------------------------------
| U. S. Federal Prison |
|---------------------------------------------|
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | |^ | (__) | ^| | | | | | |
| | | | | | \| (00) |/ | | | | | | |
| | | | | | \__\/__/ | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | |-| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | / \ \_ | | | | | | |
| | | | | | |/ \| \* | | | | | |
| | | | | | ^ ^ | | | | | | |
-----------------------------------------------
Former Panamanian General "I'm not a Mule" Manny Cowiega
---------------------------------------------------------
---.---.---.-------.---|.-- ---------|---|----
--.-.---.---- (__) -----.---.---|-
-|---|- __) (++)___ -----.---|---
----| ^\ ^\ (xx) ___\//---^ -----.---|--
----- | \____\_\/ / \ \_____ ---.---
========= - \_____/\ ^ . \_/____ ^ -====
. - - / \ ' ^ . - .
\ / . ^ - \
` ^ ` ` `
Former despot Romanians Nicolae and Madame Cow-cescu
(__)
(OO) __
\/ |__|
// \ |
// \ \ |
^^ \// \ |
/-------------\
-----------------------/ Panama \
----------------------/ or \
/ Bust! \
_____________/---------------------\_____________
/ \
/ \
\ /
\_________________________________________________/
M1 Abrams Cow Commander
(__) *
(OO) |
\/ |
// \ -----
// \ \ / \
^^ \// \ / \
// \ | |
--^^------ * / \
\ ____ / / / \
|||||| | \ |
|||||| / \ \
|||||| | / |
|||||| /___________\_______\
|||||| /
|||||| (_/)
__||||||||__ (@@)
| .,....,. | \/
| ...,.,.. |
------------ Cow Bell (or the Liberty Cow Bell)
The Acowdemy Award
____________________________________________________________________
| ________________________________________________________ |
| 10 ) T H E U N I T E D S T A T E S O F A M E R I C A ( 10 |
| / ........... ____ \ |
| | / \ A10806726C | |
| | 1 (A) | (__) | ___ __ __ 1 | |
| | | (oo) | | |_ |\ | | |
| | A10806726C | _\/_ | | |__ | \| | |
| | 1 .......... \//;;/\/ ........... 1 | |
| \ ......... _______________ ........ / |
| 10 )___________________/ TEN DOLLARS \____________________( 10 |
|______________________________________Abortion Rally calls__________|
Cownterfeit
>>>----> *___ ______
\ __|_**_|__
>>>----> \ | . . |
\ _______________\ /
* ( | | US CALV| \o/
>>>----> / /\ |_________| \-- |
( / / \ \__________\_\ ---| |
>>>----> . ( ) / / \ \ \ \ |*|
. / / \ \ \ \
. /* \ \*\ \*\
The CALVelry COWard
____
| | . .
vv vv __|__|__ \ /
||----|| * \00/ \__/
|| | / /-----------C\/C (oo)
/\-------/ / | CCCC /-------\/
(oo) / ||_________CCCC / | ||
(~~) * || || * ||----||
nn nn ^^ ^^
Australian view of a
North American Cow Abraham Lincow This cow belongs
to "My Favorite Martian"
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
(__) >------\/------< >------\/------<
(oo) | | | | | | | |
>------\/------< | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | || | | | | || | |
| `____' | | `----' | | `-OO-' |
`--|--|--' `--|--|--' `--|--|--'
| | | | | |
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
"FLASHER" calf "FLASHER" steer "FLASHER" bull
(Big Mac)
(_____) _____________
\0 0/ / \
_________(o o) XXXXXXXXXXXXX
/ | U | \_____________/
* | /______ _ |
|| || || ||
this is a cow... this is a cow on drugs
Any questions??
.
\---) (__) *
|o o) ==== /
(---\o/--\ /-------\/ (___)--------|/
| |#| ) | / | || (o o) ||
| |#| ) | * ||-||-|| YY ( )-||--I--||
^ |#| ) ~ ^^ ^^ ^^ ||--I--||-( ) ^^
//--\ || ^^(o o)--<
// | \ This cow is from Mars. /|--------(---)--<
|| * | /
^^ ~ * "69"
Cowborg
* * *
*
* * (__) *
* _--_ ( oo) *
_- )\ '|
* /| ) _ \ \ ~~ * *
/ \ \-- \ \
*-' // / > >
> >
/ / *
/ / *
_ _ -- _ _
/ \ *
* / _ _ _ \
| / \| *
| |
* | | * *
| |
| | *
| \_ _ _ /|
\ /
* \ _ _ _ / *
---
"COW JUMPED OVER MOO_N, REVISITED"
(__)
(~~) V __ (__) (__)
/--------\/ | / \ (oo) (oo)
* | | ----: /-- --\/ /-------\/ {BIG MAC}
>--: |----| / | || / | |---/
| | * ||-----|| * ||----|
^ ^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^
beef jerky cowsimodo cownibal
_______\
-<| CUD \
/-<|_______/
(__)// / ((|))
(oo)/ ($ $)
\// /-------\_/ *
/ | / | ||__<i
__ | | * ||----|
* \| _| ^^ ^
/ |
/ | New Kow on the Block
^ ^ (note lighter in hoof)
CUD missile launcher
((----))
((oooo))
///-----\\\///
///||| |||
*** ||||||---|||
^^^^^^ ^^^
where milkshakes come from
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
| ___________ | | |
| (__) ( You know, ) | (__) ________ | (__) ______ |
| (oo) ( Kentucky ) | (oo)( How do )| (oo) ( )|
| /-------\/ ( cows are ) |---\/ ( they )| \,,/ ( MOOF )|
| / | || (bucktoothed) | || \( talk? )|/-------\/ \ ( )|
| * ||----|| \ /---------- |--|| \/------- | | || \/------ |
| ^^ ^^ \/ | ^^ | ||----|| |
| | | ^^ ^^ |
------------------------------------------------------------------ J.B.--
Cowmic Strip
| \___________________________
| ___________________________
| / /
| | /
| | /
| | (__) /
| | (oo) /
| | _\/_ /
| | / ==%
| | / ==%
| | *---<_ / /
| | / /
| | / /
| | ~ ~
| |
| | Moowgli
| |
/ \
(__) . . . . (---)
\oo/ . . .. . (-------(----)----( ) *
/;;\ . . . (__) ( ( ) )(x x)_____/
\__| |__/ . . . (oo) \ OO---------OO-/ O \_/\/\/
|%%%%| //-------\/ OOOOOO OOOOOO / \
~ ~ // | U M || OOOOOO OOOOOO . .
~ ~ ** ||----||
grandcow is ^^ ^^ Argyle cow about to be hit by
sitting Go Blue Cow an armored personnel carrier
(__
(o ======]
------- )
| || __0 \\\||||///
| || () _____ = 00000000 = <----- radioactive waste
Cow after biology major Cow after Physics Major
is finished with it is finished with it
| |
| |
(__)| |
(__) (__) (@@)| |
(oo) (oo) |\/-===< |
/-------\/ *____-------\/ | | |
/ | || // // | | |
* ||----|| >='/-----// /\|___===< |
__^^____^^__/ ___^_____^^__/ __oo____*o__. | |
oo oo oo oo `////\\\\
Cow on skate-board Cow at running Cow without skate-board
(watch out!)
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
|
------- | This concludes the third part of THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS.
| COW | | Please distribute this file WIDELY on BBSes, etc. It is in
------- | the public domain. ((THANKS TO ALL WHO CONTRIBUTED COWS!!))
|
Iconified Cow | Please send me your COWS for the next edition! When drawing
| cows, please DO NOT use tabs - use only "real" spaces.
---------------'
Cowments? Cowntributions? Send them to the editor...
David A. Bader // dbader(at)scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
David A. Bader Permanent Addr:
CSEE Dept., Packard Lab 1402 Lorain Avenue
Lehigh University Bethlehem, Pa. 18018
Bethlehem, Pa. 18015 (215) 868-1311
(215) 974-8995
Internet: dbader(at)scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu or dab3(at)pl118f.cc.lehigh.edu
Bitnet: DAB3@LEHIGH.bitnet
------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------- Teil 4 -----------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------
...:::/// THE BARNYARD GALLERY \\\\\:::...
Part 4 of the 5-part COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS!
________________________
(__) / \ * OFFICIAL EDITION *
(oo) ( Baa! Oink! Who! Moo! )
/-------\/ --'\________________________/ * SUMMER 1991 ISSUE! *
/ | ||
* ||----|| Edited by David A. Bader
^^ ^^ Please send your submissions to:
Cow dbader@scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
_______________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________
/ \
| BAA-rilliant sheep by N.M.Farina |
\________________________ ________/
| /
|/
/\___
@@@@@@@@@@@ O \
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@____/
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ @@@@@@@@@@@@ All Sheep Credit goes to nmf90(at)uk.ac.soton.ecs
|| || (Nick Farina,University
~~ ~~ of Southampton,England)
_______________________________________________________________________________
/\__ Sheeping sleep
@@@@@@@@@@@ - \ ..er,I mean
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@___/ Sleeping sheep
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@___@@@@@@@@@@@__@ /\_____
/ O \
/ \
@@@@@@@@@@ /
Concieted @@@@@@@@@@@@@@_______/
sheep. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ @@@@@@@@@@@
|| ||
~~ ~~
|| __
|\\ ||
||\\ ||
|| \\ ||
/\__ || \\||
@@@@@@@@@@ O \ ||___\||________________________
@@@@@@@@@@@@@___/ ||\ || . ....\
@@@@@@@@@@@@@ || \ || . . . . \
@@@@@@@@@ || \ || . . \
( >> >> || \|| . . . \
~~ ~~ \ || _______________ \
( \ ||______ | HIGH JUMP |_______\
\ ||| \_____________/ |
( @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ \||| || |
|||____________||______________|
||
WOOLY JUMPER. ||
The starsheep enterprise....
(\___/)
( O O )
/@@\ \ /
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@\ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@\_/
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ _________
@@@ @@@@@@@@ _____/
@@@ @@@@@@ __/ . .
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ _/ .
@@@@@SHP-1701@@@@@@@@@@@-( _/ . .
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ / . . .
_/.
/. .
/. . .
/ .
/. . .
/ . .
(\ /)
( \_/ ) (\_/)
@@@@@@@@@@|~ ~| @@@@@@@@@@|===|
@@@@@@@@@@@@\O O/ @@@@@@@@@@@@\___/
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@\_/ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@\o/
@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @ @@@@@@@@@@
|| || || ||
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
VULCAN SHEEP. ROBOSHEEP
~~ ~~
|| ||
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ DEAD SHEEP.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@\___
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ \
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ -___/
\/
___________________
______________ | || |
| ZORBA'S | | || |
|Greek | | #####________#### |
| Takeaway.. | | ####| . ..|### |_ (((())))
############################ | #####| . ..|#### |\\ ( )
| #####| . ..|#### | \\ ( O O )
| | ..| | \\ ___\ __ /__
| ######| ..|##### | \\ / \__/
| ######| ..|##### | \\ /
| ######\____/##### | \\ / /|
| ####### || ###### | \\ / / | ZORBA'S
| ' || ' | @@/ / |
| || ' | <@@/ |
|\_________________/| @@ |__________
######################################|**********
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |*****|****
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |*****|****
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
DEAD SHEEP IN A MORE FAMILIAR FORM.
/\____
/ O \
@@@@@@@@___/
@@@@@@@@@@ / (
@@@@@@@@@@======@--/---)_/)
@@@@@@@@@@@ O | |
@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@ #############
BAA - BER. @@@@@@@@@ ###############
|| || ###############
~~ ~~ ###############
########## #############
# # |\ /|
# # ||\ /||
# # ~~ | | ~~
________________#________#_____________|_|______________________
BAA - RT SIMPSON.
|\/\/\/\/|
| |
| O O |@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
\ /@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
\ __ /@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
\__/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @
| | | |
| | | |
(\___/)
@@@@@@@@@@@| O O|
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@\ /
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@\\\\__/ Hic!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@\_U <--- Pissed BAA - stard.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Hic!
|| || |@@@|
~~ ~~ C| |
################### \___/ _____
############################### _/ / \_
_/ / \_
/ / \
\_____________/
|O O|
\ /
@@\ - /@@
/@@@@\_/@@@@\\
/@@@@@@@@@@@@@ \
/ /@@@@@@@@@@@@ _\
/ /@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ \\
|______ @@@@@@@@@ \\
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@
|| @ ||
~~ ~~
NAPOLEONIC SHEEP.
(\___/)
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@|O O|
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@\ /
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@\ /
@@ @@ \_/
@@ @@
@@ @@
@@ @@
@@ @@ Baa Stool
@@ @@
@@ @@
@@______@@
@@______@@
@@ @@
@@ @@
@@ @@
BAA - ROOOOOM!!!
__________________________
/ (\__/) === \
___ / |O O| \ ___
|___|/___@@\__/@@___________________\|___| .
/________________________________\ .
|| \=======*=======/ || . .
################################## ...
.... . . .. \____________|BAA 1|_____________/ . ....
. . . .. #### ------- #### ... . . .
. ..... #### #### .. ... .. .
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Now here come the OWLS.
___ v v v ___ ___
<*,*> <*,*> <*,*> <`,'> <*,*>
[`-'] [`-'] [`-'] [`-'] =^`-'^=
-"-"- -"-"- -"-"- -"-"- " "
owl punk owl owl with antlers chinese owl flying owl
___ ___ ___ ___ ___
<+,+> <@,@> <*,*> <-,-> <$,$>
[`-'] [`-'] [`-'] [`-'] [`-']
-"-"- -"-"- -"--- -"-"- -"-"-
drunk owl owl junkie one legged owl shrewd owl greedy owl
_
___ ___ _|||_ /_\
<#,#> <*,*> <*,*>
[`-'] [`-'] [`-'] [`-']
-"-"- -"-"- -"-"- -"-"-
T-V owl owl with glasses owl with top-hat owl with fez
___ ___ _____ _
<*,*> <*,*> /o \_/ | * *
[`-// [`o'] [ _ | "owl"
-"-"- -"-"- `-----' `-'
owl with sling medalion owl surreal owl owl in cave owl
___ ___
<*,-> <*,*>
[`-'] [`S']
-"-"- -"-"-
confidential owl super owl
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
|
------- | This concludes the fourth part of THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS.
| COW | | Please distribute this file WIDELY on BBSes, etc. It is in
------- | the public domain. ((THANKS TO ALL WHO CONTRIBUTED COWS!!))
|
Iconified Cow | Please send me your COWS for the next edition! When drawing
| cows, please DO NOT use tabs - use only "real" spaces.
--------------'
Cowments? Cowntributions? Send them to the editor...
David A. Bader // dbader(at)scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
David A. Bader Permanent Addr:
CSEE Dept., Packard Lab 1402 Lorain Avenue
Lehigh University Bethlehem, Pa. 18018
Bethlehem, Pa. 18015 (215) 868-1311
(215) 974-8995
Internet: dbader(at)scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu or dab3(at)pl118f.cc.lehigh.edu
Bitnet: DAB3@LEHIGH.bitnet
------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------- Teil 5 -------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------
...:::/// THE ANCIENT HISTORY OF THE COWS \\\\\:::...
Part 5 of the 5-part COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS!
___________________________
(__) / \ * OFFICIAL EDITION *
(oo) ( Remember when I was a calf? )
/-------\/ --'\___________________________/ * SUMMER 1991 ISSUE! *
/ | ||
* ||----|| Edited by David A. Bader
^^ ^^ Please send your submissions to:
Cow dbader@scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
THE BIRTH OF THE COWS
(in the words of Stephen L. Schultz, the Creator)
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Now, as for how it all started. Well, I think John Christensen, my old
roomate, was the first person to discover: (__)
(oo)
\/
looked like a cow's head. He once transmitted it vie write to someone
else and has it say, "MOO". I suppose it originated from (* *) which in
are implementation of PASCAL was begin and end comment. And he just
added the rest of it.
Then, as I said earlier, our system had crashed, and I was sitting
around talking with a friend, Geordie Kleuber. He was working on some
project or other and needed to know ANSI escape sequences. As I had
just finished writing graphics primitives in MACRO-11 for a project
I was working on, I knew them cold. So I demonstrated how to position
the cursor and how to turn attributes on and off.
I was doing this in local mode, and wanted something to draw, so I
drew one of John's "MOOs" as he called them. Then, as I need more
attributes to turn on and off, I added the rest of the body. Being
the corny person that I am, and seeing as how the Chernobyl incident
was current events at the time, I decided to make the entire cow blink.
Then I made the entire cow blink and bold. Then I made the entire cow
blink, bold, and reverse video. And I added captions underneath,
"Within 100 miles of Chernobyl" "Within 10 miles of Chernobyl" and
"Within 1 mile of Chernobyl."
Geordie thought it was hilarious. And as we had a local newsgroup,
local.noise (now csh.noise since the organization was Computer Science
House) for posting all sorts of ramblings. I decided to make an entire
posting out of the cows. The house loved them, and so I continued to
make up more.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me, Adam Stein, a house member who was cooping
at Xerox, took copies of them and posted them to rec.humor there.
Because at the time, CSH did not have a full news feed, and only got
incoming news, nothing went back out. Adam one day forwarded me some
letters of people praising the cows. I didn't know until the third or
fourth posting that they were going out. Not that I minded.
It was funny. For the next year or so, people would tell me how while
they were on coop in YourCity, USA they would see my cows posted on the
wall. When I was at a DECUS once, someone recognized my name (I was
giving a talk on Imaging Science) as the creator of the cows and made
mention of it and about 20 people in the audience knew what he meant
when he spoke of the "net cows."
It was kind of neat. Since then, they have taken on a life of their
own. I had no idea how many new ones had been created. Some of them
are so intricate, it amazes me someone took the time to do it.
Someone once suggested putting them into a book, but I said, "They
wouldn't make it in a book. They only live on the net. There they have
character. In a book, they are just characters." I'd much rather see
them live in the public domain anyways. Especially since there have
been so many contributions from so many different people. It really is
kind of neat.
Who'd of thunked it? :)
- Steve
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
GROWING UP
(Some explanations by Stephen L. Schultz)
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Hello. A friend of mine recently showed me the Cowmpendium you have
compiled from the net. This was of interest to me since I was the
person who started it all so long ago. I haven't subscribed to
rec.humor in a long time so I've missed a number of those you had
in your compendium. On the same token, you've missed some of my
more recent ones. I also noticed a few other older ones missing.
As was the case with a number of them, there are some local jokes,
and local references. The "Corner Crew" is our cheering section
for RIT hockey.
I will leave it up to you what you want to include and what you
do not.
Incidently, the "Chernobull" series is of special significance
because they are the ones that started it all. One day, when the
system was down, I put my VT100 into local mode and started drawing.
The end result was the first cow. Actually it was a little more squat
than it is now, but I refined it on the screen until it looked good.
Knowing my VT100 escape codes by heart, I then drew another and made
it flash, and then flash and bold, and then flash, bold, and not present,
etcetera. In the olden days, you could send escapes through the mail
and such, and so it used to be a nice effect. Of course, since then,
everyone strips escapes out, so the series has lost its effect. But
I decided to leave them in for historical purposes.
Of course, again, you may include or not include them as you will.
Who'd of thought when I drew them way back when they'd have caught
on as they did? Thank Adam "Bacca" Stein for sending them out into
the "real" world, because initially they were only released on
local.noise which was a newsgroup local to our organization.
Have a good one.
- Stephen L. Schultz
Bitnet: SLS4255@RITVAX
Internet: SLS4255@RITVAX.isc.rit.edu
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
THE ORIGINAL GUIDE TO COWS
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Today, we are going to compare and contrast those lovely little bovines.
So sit back and enjoy, but don't forget to take notes. There may be a
surprise quiz sometime next week.
(__)
(oo) U
/-------\/ /---V
/ | || * |--| .
* ||----||
^^ ^^
Cow at 1 meter. Cow at 100 meters. Cow at 10,000 meters.
(__) )__( vv vv
(oo) (oo) ||----|| *
/-------\/ *-------\/ || | /
/ | || / | || /\-------/
* ||----|| / ||----|| (oo)
^^ ^^ vv vv (~~)
American Cow Polish Cow Australian Cow
(__) (__) (__)
(oo) ____ (oo) _---_(oo)
/-------\/ /- --\/ /- -\/
/ | || / | || /| ||
* ||----|| * ||___-|| * ||___-||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Freshman Cow Freshman Cow Freshman Cow
Arriving at RIT After the "Freshman 15" After the "Freshman 20"
(__) (__) (__)
(OO) (@@) (xx)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow who drank Jolt Cow who ate Cow who used Jolt to wash
psychadelic mushrooms down psychadelic mushrooms
The following three cows were supposed to be appearing with the
Celebrity Cows in the last issue, however, I found out that they
were sitting around a bar getting drunk discussing what exactly
is art. The cows' conclusion: Art is a bunch of Bull(s).
Sorry, but I couldn't resist,
Hawk, Sesquipedalianite
and Head of Heffer Control.
(____) (____) (____)
(oo ) (o o) ( O O)
/-----------\ / /-----\ /---- /-----------\ /
/ || | \/ / | | \/ | / || | \/
/ || |||| \ | | | | | / || ||||
* ||||-----|||| *| | |-----| | | * ||||-----||||
/\/\ /\/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ ^^^^ ^^^^
This cow belonged This was Salvatore No one was sure whether
to Pablo Picasso Dali's favorite cow M.C. Escher's cow had four
legs or eight
. . . And now, the Golden Bovine Awards!
(__)
(oo) (_)
/-------\/ V
/ | || /G\
* ||----|| ___[B]___
^^ ^^ | |
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for . . . the nominees for the
best leading bull in a motion picture are:
Christopher for his role as the Brooklyn tough in the critically
acclaimed drama, "Chew the Cud Slowly"
Gambler, the swashbuckling hero in this years box-office block
buster in "Cow Wars III: Return of the Bovine"
Samson, as the somewhat deranged longhorn in what has been described
as this years most artistic film, "Slaughterhouse Mine"
Spencer for his outstanding portrayal of a cow who gets involved in
some crazy farmers scheme and gets sent to foreign fields
where his only goal is to get "Back to the Pasture"
George, the latest heart throb to dance his way across the silver
screen in "Hoofloose"
and
Bitters in a thought provoking role as an in-mate at a barn for
the mentally impaired in "One Flew Over the Milking Machine"
And the winner is . . .
Christopher in "Chew the Cud Slowly"
I would like to thank everyone who helped me make this movie, without whom I
never would have won, especially, Farmer Brown, whose guidance and patience
around feeding time helped me through the long nights of rehearsals and
shootings, and Farm-Hand John, who used to sneak out at night to open the
gate to the stud pen so that I could relieve some of my other tensions, and
to . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
\
(__) (___)
(oo) (_) (O O)
/-------\/ V \ /---------\
/ | || /G\ O || | \
* ||----|| ___[B]___ ||-----|| *
^^ ^^ | | ^^ ^^
I would like to express my heart felt thanks to Gary Larson for giving
me explicit written permission to use his Far Side cartoon panel as
a basis for this cow posting:
...and with its onboard floating point
and dual I and D cache buffers, the
CLIPPER will blow the doors off of any
micro in its class. QUICK, ONE'S COMING !!!
\ \
\ \
(__) (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo)
\/ \/ \/
/----\ /----\ /----\
/| |\ /| |\ /| |\
^ | | ^ ^ | | ^-+ ^ | | ^
| | | | |C| | |
/----\ /----\ +-+ /----\
/ \ \ / \ \ / \ \
^ * ^ ^ * ^ ^ * ^
MOO Oh, how boring it must
/ be to be a cow.
(__) (__) \ (__)
(oo) (oo) _______ (oo)
/-------\/ \/-------\ // ||\ \ \/-------\
/ | || || | \ _____//___||_\ \___ || | \
* ||----|| ||----|| * ) _ _ \ ||----|| *
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ |_/ \________/ \___| ^^ ^^
______________________________________\_/________\_/__________________________
...So explain to me again how
they were able to achieve
zero weight states...
\ It's party time!
\ \
(__) (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo)
\/ \/ \/
/----\ /----\ /----\
/| |\ /| |\ /| |\
^ | | ^ ^ | | ^-+ ^ | | ^
| | | | |C| [BUD]| |[BUD]
/----\ /----\ +-+ [SIX]/----\[SIX]
/ \ \ / \ \ / \ \
^ * ^ ^ * ^ ^ * ^
CLIPPER is a trademark of the Fairchild Semiconductor Corporation,
BUD is a trademark of Anheiser Busch Brewing, and
"Far Side" is a New York Times Syndication.
/
/ And we're just stupid cows.
(__) /
(oo) (__)
/-------\/ (oo)
/ | || \/-------\
* ||----|| || | \
^^ ^^ ||----|| *
^^ ^^
Many people have been asking me why there are so many different kinds
of milk on the shelves. Not just different brands, but different types,
like Whole or Low-Fat. Well, I have decided to answer that question in
full. Listed below are most of the major types of milk available on the
market today and with them are the type of cow that produces the milk.
Most American citizens don't even begin to realize all of the carefull
in-breeding that went into producing these strains of dairy cows so that
the average consumer would have a wide selection of milk to choose from.
In fact, most Americans are ignorant of tha fact that this many different
types of cows exist. Most people beleive that all cows look alike. Not
so, as we are soon to find out.
Stephen L. Schultz
Head of Heifer Control
Computer Science House
Rochester Institute of Technology
Rochester, New York 14623
(__) (__) __)
(oo) (oo) o)
/-------\/ /-------\/
/ | O || * ||----||
* ||----|| || ||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow that gives Cow that gives Cow that gives
(W)hole Milk. Low-Fat Milk. 2% Milk.
(__)
(dd) .
/-------\/
/ | || U .
* ||----|| /---V .
^^ ^^ * |--| .
Cow that gives Cow that gives Cow that gives (gave)
Vitamin D Milk. Condensed Milk. Evaporated Milk.
Warning: Two of the last three are crude.
(__)
__(oo)
(__) / \/ (__) (___)
milk / \\ (oo) (O O)
/-------\/ /| /-^^---\/ /--------\ /
/ | || / | /| || / | ||O
* ||----|| * || ||----|| * ||@\---||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow that gives Cows that give Cow that gives
Pasteurized Milk. Homogenized Milk. Cream.
I warned you.
In an attempt to cash in on the cow craze that swept local.noise, Detroit
has decided to produce a complete line of auto-moo-biles. Japan was quick
to follow suit and produced a few cows too, as were a couple of European
countries. Below is a list of the auto-moo-biles reviewed by "Cow and
Track" magazine.
Before you read the list, I would like to point out that a friend of mine
recently purchased a particular brand of automobile and we have been
kidding her about the small size of this automobile. It is intended to
needle this person, but if you wish to take offense and want to flame me
for degrading the car, then please, feel free to send all flames to:
rochester!ritcv!ritcsh!adam
If you wish to make any constructive comments or suggestions to add to
my collection of cows, please mail to:
rochester!ritcv!ritcsh!hawk
(__) Stephen L. Schultz
(oo) Head of Heifer Control
/-------\/ Computer Science House
/ | || Rochester Institute of Technology
* ||----|| Rochester, New York 14623
^^ ^^
Here are the national standards for wheel-base classification:
(__) (__) (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
/-----------\/ /---------\/ /-------\/ /-----\/
/ | || / | || / | || / | || U
* ||--------|| * ||------|| * ||----|| * ||--|| /---V
OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO * O--O
Full-Size Cow Mid-Size Cow Compact Cow Sub-Compact Cow Yugo
These are some of the various models offered:
__ (__) ______ (__) (__) (__)
/ \ (oo) / \ (oo) (oo) \ (oo)
/ ---\/ * --\/ /| |---\/ @ ---\/
* | || | || * |______| || /| || U
||----|| ||--------|| ||--------|| * ||------|| /---V
OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO * O--O
Hatch-Back Station Wagon Pick-up Truck Convertable Roller Skate
Although some people like to customize their cows:
(__) \
(oo) \
/-------\/ (__) \__)
/ | || /---_ (__) (oo) (oo)
* ||----|| / | -_(oo) /-----------\[] /--------\/
OOO OOO * ||-_ |\/ / | |[] /|=======|| * U
O O O O || -_|| * ||--------|| * ||------||( \---V
OOO OOO OO OO OO OO @@ @@ O--O
Beach-comber's A Low-Rider Chevy Impala Aluminum alloy Yugo with
Deluxe with Fuzzy Dice rims, fog lamps, rear
cb radio, and spoiler
custom pin-striping
Then there are the luxury cows:
(__)
(oo)
/---------------------------------------------\/
/ | || U
* ||------------------------------------------|| /-----V
OO OO * O----O
Stretch Limo Yugo Limo
And the workforce of the interstate cowing industry:
/------------------------------------------
/ | |
/ | Upstate Milk Cooperatives | (_____)
/ | | ( O O )
/ | | \ /
* |________________________________________|___\ /
OO OO OO OO O . .__.,,
The Eighteen Hoofer Yugo after being
run over by the 18 hoofer
Many people have been asking what the most read magazine is amongst the
bulls in the pen. Well the answer is an easy one, it's PLAYBULL. But
not too many people know who own's PLAYBULL, so I thought it would be
nice to head out to the PLAYBULL Mansion and meet the founder and editor,
Hugh Heifer.
- Steve Schultz
Head of Heifer Control
Here is Hugh Heifer himself, with a couple of his PLAYBULL Bunnies.
Of course, whenever Hugh is around the mansion, he always wears his
comfortable silk bathrobes.
\ / \ /
\__/ (___) \__/
(oo) (o o) (oo)
/-------\/ /---+----\ / \/-------\
/ | || / | | ||O || | \
* ||----|| * ||-+---|| ||----|| *
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Meanwhile, in the photo studios in the back of the mansion, we see next
issues centerfold posing in front of the camera.
(__) O
(o[o]| * (__)
/-------\/ v / (oo)v
/ | ||_/ \-------\/ \
* ||----| v____/ / \/
^^ ^ v___\____v/___/
Probably an RIT Is this one beautiful
photo graduate bovine, or what?
Well, if you liked the way the centerfold looked, you may want some
biographical data:
Name: Ingrid
Age: 4
Occupation: Dairy producer
Major Turn-ons: A well charged cattle prod
Major Turn-offs: A stud pen with too many cows
and not enough bulls
Favorite TV Show: T.J. Hoofer
Favorite Rock Group: George Thorocud
Favorite Sexual Position: Up against the barbed wire
Ambitions in Life: To be in heat during the running of the bulls
Our system ( VAXIMG ) is currently down for FCO's, and so, having nothing
better to do ( not necessarily true, but nothing better that I want to do )
I decided to draw a few cows. These cows are from the Corner Crew, so
watch out, they are loud and obnoxious at hockey games.
- Hawk
(_ _)
(__) (o o)
(oo) \ /-------\
/-------\/ || | \
* ||----|| ||----|| *
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Strawberry Shortcake Banana Split
(__) (__) *
(oo) (oo) /
/-------\/ \/-------/
/ | || || | o
* ||----|| ||----|| ooo
:: :: ^^ ^^ oooooo
Your team skates Like a pile of . . .
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
\/-------\ /-------\/
\\ \ \ / / //
\\----\\ * * //----//
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Shift to the left Shift to the right
(__)
(oo)
/--\/--\ (__)
/ | | \ (oo)
^ | | ^ ---\/----<
/----\ | \-+-<
/ \ \ | |
^ * ^ *__|__-+-<-<
Stand up Sit down
(__) * (__)(__)
(xx) \ (@@)(oo)
/-------\/ >---\------\/ \/-------\
/ | || | ||>---| || \
* ||----|| |-----|| |----|| *
^^ ^^ ^ ^^ ^ ^^
Fight, fight, fight!
\ \ / /\ \ / /\ \ / /\ \ / /
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
(% %)(o o)(* *)(+ +)(- -)(# #)(x x)(@ @)
\ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
+ * + * + * + *
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
(. .)(' ')(^ ^)(° °)(v v)(: :)(% %)(~ ~)
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
\ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / \
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
(' ')(. .)(° °)(ö ö)(: :)(~ ~)(^ ^)(v v)
\ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
+ * + * + * + *
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
(o o)(| |)(# #)(- -)(+ +)(% %)(* *)(x x)
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
/ / \ \/ / \ \/ / \ \/ / \ \
Crazy Cowpet
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
The Complete Guide to Cows thanks the following editors:
Stephen L. Schultz (SLS4255@RITVAX.isc.rit.edu)
Eric W. Tilenius (etileniu@Oracle.COM)
David A. Bader (dbader@scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu)
And, of course, a BIG MOO! to the home audience for supporting and creating
new cows for the Guide!
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
|
------- | This concludes the fifth part of THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS.
| COW | | Please distribute this file WIDELY on BBSes, etc. It is in
------- | the public domain. ((THANKS TO ALL WHO CONTRIBUTED COWS!!))
|
Iconified Cow | Please send me your COWS for the next edition! When drawing
| cows, please DO NOT use tabs - use only "real" spaces.
--------------'
Cowments? Cowntributions? Send them to the editor...
David A. Bader // dbader@scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
David A. Bader Permanent Addr:
CSEE Dept., Packard Lab 1402 Lorain Avenue
Lehigh University Bethlehem, Pa. 18018
Bethlehem, Pa. 18015 (215) 868-1311
(215) 974-8995
Internet: dbader@scarecrow.csee.lehigh.edu or dab3@pl118f.cc.lehigh.edu
Bitnet: DAB3@LEHIGH.bitnet
______________
| Hayakawa's | (__) (__) (__)
| Cows | (oo) (oo) (oo)
| 0155501208 | /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
|____________| / | 1 || is not / | 2 || is not / | 3 ||
|| * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
|| ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
______||_______
============new COW file
3 uv cows 7 uv cows 9 uv cows
6 uv cows 4 uv cows king uv cows
I win agen! MOOOOOO This game has only cows no uther suts?
Cowzey Ates
/===========================\
| moo $ o * 8|
| moo ? |
| ] |
\===========================/
+---+ +---+ +---+ +---+
|MOO| |MOO| | | |MOO|
+---+ +---+ +---+ +---+
+---+ +---+ +---+ +---+
|MOO| |MOO| |Moo| |moO|
+---+ +---+ +---+ +---+
+---+ +---+ +---------+
|MOO| |MOO| |MOOOOOOO!|
+---+ +---+ +---------+
Cow-computer
)__( ________
(oo) / \
*-------\/ --| Huh??? |
/ | || \________/
/ ||----||
vv vv
Kasai Cow
(__) ____
(00) / \
/-------\/ --| enyo |
/ | || \____/
* ||----||
^^ ^^
Chris cow
)__) _______
(0o) / \
/-------\/ --| enyo??? |
/ | || \_______/
* ||----||
vv ^^
Karis cow
)__) ________
(o ) / \
/-------\/ --| *shrugs* |
/ | || \________/
* ||----||
vv ^^
Neil Cow
) ) ______
(**) / \
/-------\/ --| *m00* |
/ | || \________/
* ||----||
vv ^^
Dead Cow
---
Original source
[edit | edit source]Art deleted from w:Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense