Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2022/Menstrual cycle mood disorders

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Heading casing[edit source]

FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example:

Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory

Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:57, 30 September 2022 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback[edit source]

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments below may also be about all material on the page at the time of providing this feedback.

Title[edit source]

  1. The title is correctly worded
  2. The sub-title is correctly formatted
  3. The capitalisation of the title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents
  4. The wording of the sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents

User page[edit source]

  1. Not created – see Tutorial 01

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. None summarised with direct link(s) to evidence – looking ahead to the book chapter submission see how to earn marks for social contribution

Headings[edit source]

  1. See earlier comment about Heading casing
  2. Under-developed, mostly 1-level heading structure – develop further, perhaps using a 2-level structure for the larger section(s)

Key points[edit source]

  1. Excellent – key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations
  2. Promising development of key points for each section, with relevant citations
  3. Some basic development of key points for some sections
  4. Lack of citations
  5. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. an evocative description of the problem and what will be covered
    2. focus questions
    3. an image
    4. an example or case study
  6. The question is not so much about "treatment" but about "management", although treatment can be part of management
  7. Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research
  8. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
  9. Consider including more examples/case studies
  10. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. Hasn't been developed

Figure[edit source]

  1. A figure is not presented

References[edit source]

  1. None
  2. Remember that the goal is to identify and use the best academic theory and research about this topic

Resources[edit source]

  1. Not developed

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:57, 30 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Comment[edit source]

Hey there,

What an incredible topic! I am really looking forward to reading your final piece. For now, I would love to drop some sources that might be fitting:

If you would like to incorporate sleep disturbance I found this great source discussing how the hormonal and mood shifts can have an impact on sleep for women, making women much more prone to insomnia: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X19301605?casa_token=CEItEhURNmIAAAAA:sUMRG8bQjkrmSwRl-Eb5rtbNZi8HYp8lm4lxVQL9e7Uh7XNLKbqH8192bw2usWVk1jR2pAuxa-jg U3210431 (discusscontribs) 10:37, 6 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an insufficient presentation mainly because it:
    1. doesn't address the topic (see sub-title) using academic peer-reviewed sources
    2. is over the maximum time limit — content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes

Overview[edit source]

  1. An opening slide with the title and sub-title is displayed and narrated — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation
  2. Establish a context for the topic (e.g., by using an example or explaining why it is important), to help the viewer understand
  3. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. This will help to focus and discipline the presentation.

Content[edit source]

  1. The presentation somewhat addresses the topic
  2. Go straight to MCMDs (not enough time to talk much about MDs)
  3. Over focus on describing the disorder as opposed to the causes and what can be done about it
  4. The presentation is reasonably well structured (i.e., Overview, Content, Conclusion)
  5. The presentation makes little to no use of relevant psychological theory
  6. The presentation makes no use of relevant psychological research
  7. Include citations to academic sources to support claims
  8. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies

Conclusion[edit source]

  1. The Conclusion did not fit within the time limit

Audio[edit source]

  1. The audio is easy to follow
  2. Audio communication is well paced
  3. Good intonation
  4. The narration is well practiced
  5. The narrated content isn't sufficient matched to the target topic (see content)

Video[edit source]

  1. Overall, visual display quality is good
  2. The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read
  4. The amount of text presented per slide could be reduced to make it easier to read and listen at the same time
  5. The visual communication is supplemented in a basic way by images and/or diagrams
  6. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools
  7. The visual content isn't well matched to the target topic (see content)

Meta-data[edit source]

  1. The chapter title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. The sub-title (or an abbreviation of the sub-title that fits within the 100 character limit) would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
  3. A link to the book chapter is provided but the hyperlink isn't active to allow 1-click access

Licensing[edit source]

  1. Image sources are communicated, however this presentation has probably violated the copyrights of image owners as images appear to have been used without permission.
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:58, 12 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

Book chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a promising chapter, with lots of interesting/useful information
  2. The main way it could be improved is by being more focuses on the sub-title (i.e., causes and management of MCMDs). Management should include non-clinical approaches.
  3. The other main area for improvement is greater use of the best available psychology theory and research about this topic based on academic, peer-reviewed sources
  4. Move non-peer reviewed links into the external links section
  5. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits

Overview[edit source]

  1. Basic Overview
  2. Explains the problem or phenomenon
  3. Avoid repetition of subsequent material
  4. Too long. Move detailed content in subsequent sections. The purpose of the Overview is to briefly explain the topic, engage reader interest, and establish focus questions for the chapter.
  5. Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest
  6. The focus questions could be improved by being more specific to the topic (i.e., the sub-title)

Theory – Breadth[edit source]

  1. Reasonably good coverage of relevant theory
  2. There is too much general material describing what MCMDs are, history, etc. and a lack of sufficiently specific focus on the causes and management of MCMDs (see the sub-title).
  3. Also consider non-clinical management.
  4. Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters)

Theory – Depth[edit source]

  1. Reasonably good is provided about relevant theory(ies)
  2. The main area for improvement is tailoring the content to more specifically address the causes and management of MCMDs
  3. No use of tables and/or lists are to help clearly convey key theoretical information
  4. One good use of an example to illustrate theoretical concepts. Consider using more.
  5. Lack of sufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)

Research – Key findings[edit source]

  1. Reasonably good of relevant research
  2. Lack of sufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)

Research – Critical thinking[edit source]

  1. Basic critical thinking about relevant research is evident
  2. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. discussing the direction of relationships
    3. considering the strength of relationships
    4. acknowledging limitations
    5. pointing out critiques/counterarguments
    6. suggesting specific directions for future research
  3. Many claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)

Integration[edit source]

  1. Reasonably good integration between theory and research

Conclusion[edit source]

  1. Basic summary and conclusion
  2. Doesn't cover causes; does cover management
  3. Reminds the reader about the importance of the problem or phenomenon of interest
  4. Address the focus questions
  5. Add practical, take-home message(s)

Written expression – Style[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is basic
    2. Use active (e.g., "this chapter explored") rather than passive voice (e.g., "this chapter has explored" or "this chapter will explore") [1][2]
  2. Layout
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing
  3. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
      1. Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages.[3]
      2. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance.
    2. Check and correct use of possessive apostrophes (e.g., cats vs cat's vs cats')

[4]

    1. Use serial commas[5] – they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. See explanatory video (1 min)
    2. Abbreviations
      1. Only use abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e., et al., etc.) inside parentheses
  1. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed (e.g., fix punctuation and typographical errors) to bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard
  2. APA style
    1. Do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc.
    2. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159)
    3. Figures
      1. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text
      2. Use this format for figure captions: Figure X. Descriptive caption in sentence casing. See example
      3. Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1)
    4. Tables
      1. Use APA style for captions. See example
      2. Refer to each Table at least once within the main text (e.g., see Table 1)
    5. Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example:
      1. Check and correct placement of full-stops
      2. Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section
    6. References use correct APA style
    7. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Present the references in alphabetical order by surname of first author
      2. "Retrieved from" is no longer used (APA style, 7th ed.)
      3. Check and correct use of capitalisation[6]
      4. Check and correct use of italicisation
      5. Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section

Written expression – Learning features[edit source]

  1. Good use of learning features# No use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.
  2. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  3. Problematic use of image(s). Uploaded images were falsely claimed as own work, so I've nominated them for deletion.
  4. Basic use of table(s)
  5. Basic use of feature box(es)
  6. Good use of quiz(zes)
  7. The quiz questions could be more effective as learning prompts by being focused on the sub-title.
  8. Very good use of case studies or examples
  9. No use of interwiki links in the "See also" section
  10. Basic use of external links in the "External links" section
    1. Be more selective
    2. Rename links per Tutorial 02
    3. Include sources in parentheses

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. No logged social contributions

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:26, 18 November 2022 (UTC)Reply