Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Schizophrenia and motivation

From Wikiversity
Latest comment: 8 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Comments[edit source]

I looked at your user page and had a look at your book chapter contents so far. It is looking great and schizophrenia is an interesting topic! I noticed that your chapter was not displayed on the resource section of this page but on your personal user page. In regards to the subheading of your title, the second half of the question strikes me "...and what can be done about it?" Have you heard of Transcranial Direct Current Stimulation? A significant amount of research is currently looking at its effects on schizophrenia symptoms, especially the positive and negative symptoms that you have discussed. tDCS is a big thing right now as an alternative to pharmacological treatment. It might be good to mention it and pharmacological treatment as to answer the second half of this subsection. Here are some references that are current and might be helpful in your research. Good luck with it :)

Agarwal, S. M., Shivakumar, V., Bose, A., Subramaniam, A., Nawani, H., Chhabra, H., ... & Venkatasubramanian, G. (2013). Transcranial direct current stimulation in schizophrenia. Clinical Psychopharmacology and Neuroscience, 11, 118-125. DOI: 10.9758/cpn.2013.11.3.118.

Brunelin, J., Mondino, M., Gassab, L., Haesebaert, F., Gaha, L., Suaud-Chagny, M. F., ... & Poulet, E. (2012). Examining transcranial direct-current stimulation (tDCS) as a treatment for hallucinations in schizophrenia. American Journal of Psychiatry, 169, 719-724.

Brunoni, A. R., Shiozawa, P., Truong, D., Javitt, D. C., Elkis, H., Fregni, F., & Bikson, M. (2014). Understanding tDCS effects in schizophrenia: A systematic review of clinical data and an integrated computation modeling analysis. Expert Review of Medical Devices, 11, 383-394.

Rakesh, G., Shivakumar, V., Subramaniam, A., Nawani, H., Amaresha, A. C., Narayanaswamy, J. C., & Venkatasubramanian, G. (2013). Monotherapy with tDCS for schizophrenia: A case report. Brain Stimulation: Basic, Translational, and Clinical Research in Neuromodulation, 6, 708- 709.

Smith, R. C., Boules, S., Mattiuz, S., Youssef, M., Tobe, R. H., Sershen, H., ... & Davis, J. M. (2015). Effects of transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS) on cognition, symptoms, and smoking in schizophrenia: A randomized controlled study. Schizophrenia Research. Retrieved from

Ccgmjb (discusscontribs) 02:18, 9 October 2015 (UTC)Reply


A fascinating chapter, with great use of literature to support your content. I did struggle through the content though and feel that this could benefit from some color and larger scale pictures. You can change the size of your pictures by changing the number next to the px in the image code. Hope this helps!--Ekclements (discusscontribs) 04:40, 22 October 2015 (UTC)Reply

Hiǃ I actually added this following the link you put on Moodle. But then noticed that you were using this one. These were the comments I made incase you missed themǃ Really enjoyed reading your chapterǃ It was well-written and definitely addresses the marking criteria and really commend you on critically analysing how and why the topic is of importance. Also really appreciate how you talked about limitations as well throughout the paperǃ I have taken the liberty to make some minor changes; hope you find them agreeable. Some suggestionsː you wroteː "One study that examined schizophrenic and non-schizophrenic patients’ experiences of consummatory and anticipatory pleasure of events in their daily lives" - this is a fragment, so do consider revising You wroteː "One study gained self-report data from demographically matched schizophrenic and non-schizophrenic patients to examine problems with weight gain from the individual’s perspective. Schizophrenic patients demonstrated significantly more difficulty with maladaptive eating behaviours compared with non-schizophrenic patients. Surprisingly however, schizophrenic patients reported more enjoyment when engaging in physical activity and greater satisfaction with weight and body shape." - It would be good to provide a citation for this study Overall, brilliant chapter, solid effortǃ --U3059210 (discusscontribs) 21:58, 22 October 2015 (UTC)Reply


I just read over your chapter, you have done really well to cover such a large topic so concisely! I have a few minor suggestions:

  • Maybe change ‘causes’ to ‘epidemiology’ – since many factors have been related to development to schizophrenia but are not ‘causal’ (e.g. substance use).
  • Most of your referencing is correct; however, just remember you only need to put max 5 authors in a citation- if there is more than this you can just write et al. (e.g. for Gard et al. you have 7 in-text)
  • Also, I think having at least 2 subheadings under a main heading is good practice – so maybe you should make a first order heading of ‘Theories” then under have a subheading for each (SDT and EVT) and their applications?

Overall it flows really well and these are only small changes I thought may improve the layout. U3083676 (discusscontribs) 23:23, 24 October 2015 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing[edit source]

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:49, 21 October 2015 (UTC)Reply

Feedback[edit source]

Hi there, thank you very much for reviewing my book chapter on flow and mastery (chapter 41), and also for providing helpful suggestions on how I could improve the chapter. I hope that work on your chapter is progressing well. I've reviewed your chapter and would like to offer the following comments:

Figure 1 was very interesting and quite moving in a way. You may wish to consider an appropriate hyperlink for the first word of the first sentence, 'schizophrenia'.

The first para made some excellent linkages between schizophrenia and motivation and your referencing covered the information presented effectively.

The second to last sentence in the first para appears to contain a non-word, 'intern'. Perhaps you were seeking to write 'in turn'?

Your chapter aims were appropriate and your chapter did a very effective job of delivering on those.

You may wish to consider inserting a hyperlink in your first reference to the DSM. Likewise for the first reference made to the neurodevelopmental model. Under the heading of 'causes', you may wish to consider adding references to the 3rd sentence and other sentences dealing with the two possibilities accounting for abnormal neurodevelopment.

Under the heading of 'treatment', you write '...hallucinations and disorganised thoughts, however, these medications...'. This sentence is perhaps quite long and you may wish to consider beginning a new sentence at the word 'however'.

You may wish to consider adding hyperlinks to terms such as: CBT; community case management; SDT; amotivation; expectancy value theory; social learning theory; and ecological momentary assessment, as these terms appear to bring together many other concepts that might also be of interest to your readers.

Figure 2 provides an excellent summary and I found this very useful.

It was at this point that I began to appreciate how well you use headings, paragraph structure and a clear writing style to help a reader navigate complex concepts.

Under the heading 'application of sdt', you may wish to consider inserting a reference for the second sentence. In the same para, you point out an important study limitation, and I noticed that your para endings are often very good at summing up a position discussed in the para, which assisted my understanding.

Re the paras under the headings, 'pleasure experience' and 'how does co-morbid...', you may wish to consider references for each of the first sentences therein.

Figure 3 was a great choice! The participant testimonials worked well to link the chapter material to personal impacts.

The last para before the heading 'what can be done...' appeared important enough to be highlighted in some additional way, such as with a border perhaps.

Your chapter was very informative and able to communicate a lot of complex material. You may wish to consider using more figures if you are able to find more that you feel are appropriate. Thank you again and I wish you all the best with your chapter.

Kind regards

Daniel u118741

Thank You[edit source]

Hi Guys,

Not sure if you will come back to this page but I just wanted to say thank you so much for taking the time to read my page. The book chapters are quite long and I understand it is time consuming. Thank you for taking the time to give me some really helpful feedback.

Rhiannon

A truly interesting topic! I would put Table 1. Symptom Domains of Schizophrenia (in an actual table), I would also throw in another picture. Maybe include a visual diagram or external link for HAPA. Good luck :) U3040525 (discusscontribs) 06:54, 25 October 2015 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an excellent chapter.
  2. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Relevant theory is comprehensively covered.

Research[edit source]

  1. Research is well covered, explained, and integrated.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression is very good, but is also the main area to target for improvement.
  2. Avoid sections with only one sub-section. A section should have no sub-sections or at least two sub-sections.
  3. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links
  4. The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
  5. Check and correct the APA style for how to report numbers (Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)).
  6. The APA style for the reference list is very good; remove issue numbers for seriated journals.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:19, 24 November 2015 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an excellent all-round presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Well structured.
  2. Theory and relevant research was well covered.
  3. Fun examples.
  4. Practical, take-home messages were presented.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Audio is clear and well-paced.
  2. Visuals are clear and easy to read.
  3. The combination of images/animations and text is effective.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Overall, well produced.
  2. Rename the title so that it includes the subtitle.
  3. Description field is minimal but sufficient. Can also include the image attributions here, so that the links are clickable.
  4. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (i.e., in the description or in the presentation slides) - other than the standard youtube licence.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 14:24, 26 November 2015 (UTC)Reply