Wisdom for the ages/Wise advice for 30-year-olds

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People in their thirties have many opportunities and face many challenges.

People in their thirties are often so busy advancing their careers and raising a family that they don’t realize that this is one of the most intense and fulfilling decades of their lives. Here is some guidance that may be useful.[1]

Perspective[edit | edit source]

Understand your role in the universe. Understand the opportunities and obligations you have. Understand your capabilities and limitations. Understand what you can change and what you cannot change. Decide how you will spend your life.

Be aware of your mortality, it makes you appreciate even more how incredible is to be alive.

It’s important to have something to aim toward in life, it doesn’t matter how small or how big you think it is.

In any situation, having perspective is a beautiful thing.

Be aware of how beautiful it is to be alive. Practice gratitude. Rejoice in what is. If you gaze up at the stars, your problems will seem smaller.

You are likely to be making major decisions regarding marriage, housing options, having children, business opportunities, and career moves. Seek informed counsel from trusted mentors. Choose wisely.

The way you think today and see the world should evolve gradually with the times; embrace change.

Priorities[edit | edit source]

Attend to first things first. Knowing your priorities allows you to allocate your time and attention to tasks in order of importance. Your time, energy, and attention are finite. Spending more time on one thing allows less time for others.

Try to work on things you enjoy doing and with people you enjoy being around.

Exercise, eat healthy, and sleep 7-8 hours each night.

Be selfish with your health and with your time, time is really the only thing you can't get back once is gone. Treasure your youth, it is unique and fleeting.

Don’t feel the need to be loyal to the corporation you work for, the feeling is not mutual.

Try to exit the rat race the minute you can do it. Consider a journey to GameB.

Getting good grades in school and academic success in college could lead to a high-paying job, but it doesn’t guarantee your success in life.

Don’t wait for retirement to start enjoying your life, travel a little, spend time playing. Focus on what matters.

Understand the distinctions between happiness and success; they can be very different. Choose wisely.

Civility requires you to engage in civic dialogue as an informed citizen. Decide on what political issues you can make a difference and where you cannot. Act for the good, disengage from the rest.

Reading many books alone doesn't necessarily make you smart. Understand the distinctions among knowledge, intelligence, experience, emotional competence, charisma, savvy, leadership, creativity, and wisdom. Acquire the skills that are most useful to you.

Agency[edit | edit source]

Agency is your ability to act and get things done. It is your ability to influence people, organizations, and events around you. Use your agency wisely.

Don’t wait for good things to happen to you; seize opportunities.

Make important decisions at the right time. If you decide too soon you may be overlooking emerging information or considerations. If you decide too late, you may miss unique opportunities.

Learn when to trust your instincts, in certain situations there's no need to think it over or get another opinion, you just know.

Understand the dynamics of power. Learn the sources of your power. Use power only for the good. Understand who holds the power advantage in each relationship and during each negotiation. If you are being coerced, stay safe and disengage or yield if you must. You may be able to observe powerful conflicts from the sidelines, avoid direct involvement, and let the storm pass you by. Know what you can change and what you cannot change.

Be kind to people, but if they are not kind to you don't waste your time and energy trying to get their attention or getting them to like you. Move on. Know what you can and cannot change.

Don’t let anyone mistake your kindness for weakness.

Don't tolerate insults, shoddy work, or abuse from people, especially if you're paying them to do work. Expect respect.

It is impossible to please everybody all the time.

Do not advance falsehoods or shrink from candor. Have the courage to create healthy conflict and disagree with the opinions and ideas of others.

Know that despite what they say, a company is not your family, they will let you go if they need to, and without giving you a two-week notice.

Beware of toxic people in your life and cut them off without hesitation.

Whether you’re looking for a job or a relationship, you must know that the opportunities are endless, if you keep looking.

Don’t mistake activity for progress. Find the real problem and solve it.

Understand how money works and what it can do (and cannot do) for you and the people you love or want to help.

Losing is a great catalyst for inspiring future winnings.

The concept of ego is an illusion, it's all in your head. Learn to cope with ego.

Observe. Learn every day. Stay hungry, stay foolish.

Balance[edit | edit source]

Find a moderate balance between deficiency and excess. Exercise the self-discipline to choose your pleasures rather than indulging mindlessly in limitless excess.

Understand that too much of anything is not good for you, from social media to wine, and even love. Practice temperance.

Sometimes it is better to shut up and listen. Balance advocacy and inquiry.

Stop romanticizing your job, you are part of a transaction where you’re trading your time and the value you can add in exchange for money.

Avoid road rages, you have no idea what crazy people will do to feel better for just a minute. Learn to resolve your anger.

Give yourself space to think.

Relationships[edit | edit source]

We are interconnected and always part of some relationship. It is wise to strengthen important relationships and abandon toxic ones. Choose carefully and revisit your decisions knowing that relationships necessarily change over time.

Follow these guidelines for getting along.

Understand the definition of true friendship and appreciate those you can call friends. (Hint, if you know them only on social media, they probably are not true friends.)

If you have children, guide them in life the best you can; keep an open mind to accept that they are part of a new generation and a new world.

Keep your relationship with your spouse healthy, do fun things together every time you can, create systems for transcending conflict, Be patient and forgiving.

Practice dialogue while you keep in mind that it is useless to attempt to reason a person out of a thing he was never reasoned into.[2] If they insist on using power over reason, it is often best to disengage.

Bullies eventually get what they deserve, because in life there's always someone with way less to lose.

Avoid trouble[edit | edit source]

You will reach full maturity in your thirties, and you may be more active, have more opportunities, more responsibilities, and be and under more stress than at other times in your life.

Stay out of trouble. Avoid infidelity and divorce, obsessive gambling, alcoholism, drug abuse, crime, and other distractions, risky behavior, and addictions. Be alert for mental health issues. If you are experiencing any of these problems, seek professional help.

Get out of debt if you are in debt. Mathematics argues for paying off the loans with the highest interest rate first while you may feel some sense of accomplishment if you pay off the smallest loans first, known as the debt snowball method.

Seek real good.

Notes[edit | edit source]

  1. This is adapted from a Quora post, with permission of the author.
  2. The origin of this is disputed; however it is often attributed to Johnathan Swift.