What We Wish They Knew: 13 Reasons Why

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13 Reasons Why (stylized onscreen as Th1rteen R3asons Why) is an American drama-mystery web television series based on the 2007 novel Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher and adapted by Brian Yorkey for Netflix. The series revolves around a high school student, Clay Jensen, and his friend Hannah Baker, a girl who committed suicide after suffering a series of demoralizing circumstances brought on by select individuals at her school. A box of cassette tapes recorded by Hannah before her suicide details thirteen reasons why she ended her life.

While the TV series indeed serves as a "conversation starter" concerning mental illness and suicide, there is concern for whether it lays the groundwork for a productive conversation. There are many troubling elements of the TV series, including its failure to demonstrate the availability of adequate, evidence-based mental healthcare and counseling. According to the NIMH, suicide is the second leading cause of death for 15-34 year-olds and the third leading cause of death for people aged 10-14.[1] The NIMH also estimates that 20% of children will develop a mental health disorder in their lifetime, affecting 17.1 million children. Suicide and mental health disorders are significant risks to adolescents, many of whom have watched the 13 Reasons Why series. Thus, it is critical that resources be provided in order to better educate audiences about the themes in this series and address the negatively framed depiction of mental health treatment in the series.

For more information about Hannah Baker from a clinician's point of view including her diagnosis, treatment, what to look for, resources for individual's struggling with depression, suicidal ideation, self-harm, or family/friends of loved ones struggling, how to help someone like Hannah, and evidence-based assessment for someone like Hannah Baker please visit:

Hannah Baker's Evidence-Based Assessment Vignette

Themes Key Resources
Suicide
Sexual assault National Sexual Assault Hotline

National Teen Dating Abuse Online Helpline

  • Call 1-866-331-9474 or Text loveis to 22522 or Online Chat
Bullying

If you click on one of the themes in the table above, you can find a list of resources related to the topic. An in-depth look at the themes in each episode in the sections that follow.

Contents

How to Access Mental Health Care and Treatment[edit]

How to get help now[edit]

Hopeline, hotlines

Ted talk link: https://www.ted.com/talks/kevin_breel_confessions_of_a_depressed_comic

How to Help Someone Like Hannah[edit]

When someone is struggling with suicidal thoughts, depression, or mental illness it is important to approach the situation a certain way, not like Mr. Porter did with Hannah Baker. Below are some resources to help you get a friend, family member, colleague, acquaintance or partner to a stable point or out of dangers way before getting them connected to professional help.

  • Here is an infographic describing 5 mental health first aid steps on how to assess for risks, listen non-judgmentally, encourage professional help and self-help: Helping Someone At Risk[2][3]
  • Here is an infographic describing common warning signs for people experiencing suicidal ideation: Warning Signs for Suicidal Ideation

Episode Breakdown[edit]

Episode 1: Tape 1, Side A[edit]

Themes of the episode

  • Dealing with loss/grief
    • The show opens with Clay dealing with Hannah's suicide
  • Sexual assault (sexting without consent)
    • Justin takes a picture of Hannah without her knowing and it gets spread across the school
Dealing with a loss from suicide

Grieving from the loss of a loved one or acquaintance due to suicide can be overwhelming and cause feelings of guilt, anger, or confusion. The resources below from the Mayo Clinic details how to deal with emotions that can surface due to the event as well as healthy coping strategies.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/end-of-life/in-depth/suicide/art-20044900?pg=1

This resource from Harvard also addresses similar coping strategies and suggests as well as how to seek support from others and how to help a friend who might be struggling with a loss due to suicide.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/suicide-survivors-face-grief-questions-challenges-201408127342

Dealing with cyberbullying

The resource below shares some ways to cope with and overcome cyberbullying.

Spreading compromising pictures is harmful. The resource below has ideas for how teens and parents can help individuals struggling with the effects of cyberbullying and how to prevent it.

Episode 2: Tape 1, Side B[edit]

Themes of the episode

  • Loneliness/isolation
    • Hannah's two new friends Alex and Jessica who have been a source of support for her stop hanging out with her and the two start dating
  • Bullying
    • Alex makes a "hot list" to get back at Jessica for breaking up with him, but Hannah gets labeled as "best ass" and Jessica with "worst ass" leading to unwanted attention to Hannah and friendship tension
  • Peer relations
    • The "hot list" causes Jessica to blame Hannah for Alex breaking up with her and accuse her of seducing Alex behind her back
  • Physical violence
  • Romantic relationships (healthy, unhealthy)
  • Drug use/misuse and truancy
    • Justin deals with his anxiety over the tapes by missing school and smoking pot at Bryce's house
Dealing with feelings of loneliness, isolation, and depression 

Feelings of loneliness and isolation are a normal part of the human experience,

Healthy strategies for dealing with bullying and how to confront a bully 
What do healthy and unhealthy relationships look like?
How to recognize that substance use has become a problem

Episode 3: Tape 2, Side A[edit]

Themes of the episode

  • Parent dealing with child's suicide
    • Mrs. Baker is trying to understand what led Hannah to commit suicide
  • Lawsuits involving mental health
    • Mrs. Baker is suing the school about Hannah's suicide
  • Guilt
    • Alex feels guilty about the role he played in Hannah's suicide
  • Peer relations (healthy, unhealthy) and peer pressure
    • Bryce makes Alex and Clay engage in a drinking contest
  • Bullying
    • Hannah explains how being put on the "hot list" affect how other students treated her and comments on the objectification of women
    • Bryce makes unwanted sexual advances to Hannah in the convenience store
  • Fitting in
    • Alex has mixed feelings about trying to hang out with the "cool" crowd at the school
  • Child/parent relationships
  • Physical violence
  • Deception
  • Substance use/misuse
    • Bryce is purchasing alcohol underage
  • School connectedness
Dealing with the loss of a loved one and how to process grief
Dealing with guilt related to suicide
How to deal with unwanted sexual attention
How to deal with peer pressure

Episode 4: Tape 2, Side B[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

  • Stalking
    • Hannah deals with Tyler's extensive stalking
  • Suicide
    • The Bakers deal with their role in the community and interactions with others after the loss of their daughter
    • Mr. Baker is plagued by what he could have done to prevent his daughter's suicide
  • Alienation
    • After the photo of Courtney and Hannah emerges, Courtney stops hanging out with Hannah and tells her she can't be seen with her
  • Bullying/revenge
    • In response to Hannah refusing to go out with him, Tyler sends around the picture he took of Courtney and Hannah
    • Clay sends around a nude picture of Tyler in attempts to get revenge for what he did to Hannah
  • Teenage substance use
  • Peer pressure/peer rejection
How to deal with stalking
Suicide prevention: how to recognize individuals at risk for suicide and how to help
Dealing with loss of friendships and how to make new friends

Episode 5: Tape 3, Side A:[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

  • Rumors and gossiping
    • Courtney starts rumors about Hannah in order to take attention away from their photo together
  • Sexual identity
    • Courtney tries to explain to Clay why she feels uncomfortable coming out
  • Bullying
    • The guys throw Clay into their car and try to get him to say what he's planning and drive 120 mph to try get get him to talk
  • Substance use
    • Hannah helps Jessica who gets too drunk at the Winter Formal
Dealing with rumors and harmful gossiping 
Dealing with the pressure of disclosing sexual identity 

Episode 6: Tape 3, Side B[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

  • Dating hardships
    • Hannah deals with a no-show Valentine's date
  • Sexual assault
    • Marcus assaults Hannah while on a Valentine's date, he says he thought she would be "easy"
  • Violence
    • Alex gets into a physical fight with another student
    • School system’s primarily concern is liability over bullying not helping the students
  • Impulsivity
    • Alex is upset about how he wasn't punished for the fight
  • Parent-child issues
    • Justin is dealing with his mother's boyfriend
Healthy and unhealthy dating and relationships

-The Date Safe Project (https://www.datesafeproject.org/)

Adolescents and parents: how to deal with school violence 
How to deal with feelings of impulsivity and acting out
Dealing with unhealthy parent-child relationships

Episode 7: Tape 4, Side A[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

  • Isolation/depression and suicidal ideation
    • Hannah is dealing with more feelings of loneliness and isolation
    • She said in an anonymous letter that she wants to end it all
  • Bullying/Revenge
    • Zach gets revenge on Hannah by taking her compliments from her bag in class
    • Hannah tries to confront Zach, but he throws her letter on the ground
    • Clay scratches Zach's car
  • The effect suicide has on those left behind
    • Clay’s hallucinations
  • Emotional fragility
    • The impact the notes have on Hannah and how she feels when she is no longer receiving them
  • Ignorance
    • Zach ignores Hannah’s note to him
    • The teacher has no idea what is going on in her own classroom
    • The teacher did not think through the effect that writing anonymous notes could have on her students
    • Possible that Clay knows Hannah is distressed in class by the notes, but he does not take action
How to help someone dealing with depression/isolation and warning signs
How teachers and adults can respond to adolescents reaching out

Episode 8: Tape 4, Side B[edit]

Themes of the episode

  • School and after-graduation pressure
    • Hannah is trying to figure out based on her grades what she wants to do after college
  • Selfishness
    • Ryan’s act of exposing Hannah’s poem to the entire school, most likely because he wants his publication to have more attention
  • Ignorance
    • Clay once again ignores Hannah’s emotions. He even makes a comment about the author being a really dark person, but does nothing about it.
    • Tony ignored Hannah the night of her death when she dropped a package off at his house because he figured she was just being dramatic.
    • Hannah’s poem clearly shows someone distressed and hopeless, but no one in the school takes any action.
  • Judgement
    • Hannah is judgmental of the poetry club at first
    • Ryan expresses his struggles about being judged for his demeanor/sexuality
  • Immaturity
    • Instead of reading Hannah’s poem for its deeper meaning, her peers make fun of the images and words in it
    • The teacher reads the poem in front of the entire class without considering if the author is present or how they would feel.
  • Blame/compensation
    • Tony feels that he has to make up for the fact that he didn’t stop Hannah the night of her death, which is the reason why he is so adamant about making sure the tapes circulate
    • Clay continues to be on edge because he has not heard his tape yet. He is anticipating the guilt he will feel.  
How to deal with school pressure

Episode 9: Tape 5, Side A[edit]

Themes of the episode

  • Teenage alcohol use
  • Acting out
    • Jessica drinks alcohol at school
  • Sexual assault
    • Jessica is drunk and sexually assaulted by Bryce
    • Jessica remembers in this episode what really happened and realizes that Justin has lied about what happened
  • Trauma
    • Hannah is seen in the closet witnessing Jessica’s sexual assault but is also drunk and petrified, unable to react
  • Peer pressure
    • Justin is peer pressured by Bryce to move away from the door and is seen extremely upset
    • Hannah is convinced to go to the party even though she was wary of going
  • Parent-child relationship
    • Clay’s mom seeks to understand why he is acting out
  • Marital discord
    • Hannah’s parents hardly notice her as they are fighting about financing their drug store
  • Isolation/depression
    • Hannah is discouraged that she is not able to “restart” with a new school year as much as she hoped she could
    • Hannah cuts her hair short, possibly in an attempt to start over
  • Blame
    • Clay continues to feel guilty and tries to act out to avenge Hannah in some way
How to deal with the trauma associated with sexual assault and how to report the assault 
How to deal with fighting parents 

Episode 10: Tape 5, Side B[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

  • traumatic experiences (car accident)
  • drunk driving
  • reporting rape
  • death of friends
  • drug abuse
  • bullying
  • loss of friendship
  • unhealthy friendships
  • blame

Resources relating to this episode[edit]

Episode 11: Tape 6, Side A[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Themes: Sexual assault, interpersonal effectiveness (e.g., not clearly communicating wants or needs due to sexual trauma), deception, collateral damage of suicide, communication failure, teen sex, disgust, shame, depression, guilt, anxiety, misplaced blame/anger, bereavement/grief

Adolescent relationships
Dealing with emotional abuse by a parent

Resources relating to this episode[edit]

  • Suicide:National Suicide Hotline, Crisis Textline, National Suicide Prevention Chat
  • Sexual Assault: National Sexual Assault Hotline
  • Bullying: Cyberbully hotline (cyberbullying.org)
  • Grief: It Gets Better Project: http://www.itgetsbetter.org/
  • Drug use: SAMHSA National Helpline 1-800-662-HELP

Episode 12: Tape 6, Side B[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Themes: sexual assault/trauma, physical assault, substance use/misuse, anger management, emotional regulation (or lack thereof), deception/lying, depression, communication failure, gun violence, access to lethal means, legal obligations

Dealing with rape- victim or of a friend
Dealing with parental abuse

Resources relating to this episode[edit]

  • IPV, sexual assault: National Teen Dating Abuse Online Helpline (http://www.loveisrespect.org/) call (1-866-331-9474) or Text loveis to 22522, National Domestic Violence Hotline (http://www.thehotline.org/) call (1-800-799-7233) or chat online.
  • Drug use: SAMHSA National Helpline 1-800-662-HELP
  • Suicide:National Suicide Hotline, Crisis Textline, National Suicide Prevention Chat
  • Violence/ Access to Lethal Means:                                                
    • Violence prevention works: http://www.violencepreventionworks.org/public/index.page
    • Contact Health Department
    • Contact Sheriff’s Department

Episode 13: Tape 7, Side A[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Themes: Ethical violations, disclosure, suicide, rapport, sexual trauma, self harm (e.g., cutting), access to lethal means, school violence, suicidal ideation, peer relations (healthy, unhealthy), suicide attempts, guilt, communication with parents, social support, confrontation, legal obligations

Dealing with an unhelpful counselor
Finding a good therapist
Moving on after the loss of a friend

Resources relating to this episode[edit]

  • Suicide: National Suicide Hotline, Crisis Text Line
  • Sexual Assault: National Sexual Assault Hotline   
  • Violence/ Access to Lethal Means:                                                
    • Violence prevention works: http://www.violencepreventionworks.org/public/index.page
    • Contact Health Department
    • Contact Sheriff’s Department
  • Substance use/misuse: SAMHSA National Helpline 1-800-662-HELP


Episode Breakdown[edit]

Episode 1: The First Polaroid[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Suicide

  • National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
  • Crisis Text Line: Text TALK to 741741 to text with a trained crisis counselor for free, 24/7.
  • American Foundation for Suicide Prevention:
    • Provides information and resources for survivors of loved ones who have died by suicide, including ways to connect with other survivors and ways to honor a loved one.
      • https://afsp.org/find-support/ive-lost-someone/
  • Suicide Prevention Resource Center:
    • Provides resources that allow people to have a better understanding of suicide and ways to combat it.
      • http://www.sprc.org/about-suicide
  • American Association of Suicidology:
    • Provides information for survivors, myths and facts about suicide, crisis center information, and more.
      • https://www.suicidology.org/Resources/Crisis-Centers
  • Counseling on access to lethal means:
    • Limiting access to lethal means is an evidence-based strategy for suicide prevention.
    • Limit the access to means/objects that one can use to harm him/herself, including:
      • Medication
      • Firearms
      • Sharp objects (knives, scissors, etc.)
    • Obtain a lock box and place all of the identified lethal means in the lock box.
      • Obtain support and supervision from a parent if underage.
    • Contact a licensed psychologist or a psychiatrist for counseling on access to lethal means.
    • Work with mental health provider and family to develop a specific plan to reduce access to lethal means and maintain your safety.
      • Sale, E., Hendrick, M., Weil, V., Miller, C., Perkins, S., & McCudden, S. (2018). Counseling on access to lethal means (CALM): An evaluation of a suicide prevention restriction training program for mental health providers. Journal of Community Mental Health, 54, 293-301. doi: 10.1007/s10597-017-0190-z.
  • Attempt Survivors
    • How to take care yourself:
      • Find an activity you enjoy.
      • Make a safety plan with a therapist.
      • Talk to someone close to you.
      • Find a therapist.
        • SAMHSA Mental Health Service Locator
          • https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/
        • Psychology Today Therapist and Support Group Finder
          • https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
    • “With Help Comes Hope” support for persons living with suicidal thoughts and those who have attempted suicide:
      • Resource that seeks to help individuals feel safe and find hope, whether there difficult period is now or in the future.
      • Site includes stories from attempt survivors.
      • Includes self-care tips given by attempt survivors.
      • Provides stories of hope and recovery from survivors.
        • http://lifelineforattemptsurvivors.org/

Self-Injurious Behavior

  • Lifeline -- Call Lifeline (131114) for Help
    • What qualifies: cutting or scratching yourself, taking an overdose of medications or other medicine, burning yourself, hitting yourself with or on another object, punching walls or other objects, pulling out your hair, etc.
    • Keep a diary to express your emotions and to have a better overview how often you have the need to hurt yourself.
  • Learning how to cope with urges before they come:
    • Delay: Urges will come and go. If they aren’t gone after 10-15 minutes, chances are that you are still highly exposed to the stimulus. If you are able to deny the urge once, you know you can do it again. The more you deny the urge, the lesser it will become.
    • Escape: Get away from the urge provoking situation. Try to distract yourself and eventually the craving will become less.
    • Accept: You must understand that urges are normal and it takes time to get rid of one, but it is not impossible. They can distinguish quickly, and try to keep your focus and don’t give up.
    • Dispute: Find a tactic for disputing them when they occur again. Try to find a new belief or statement that will help you change your way of thinking and the way you live your life for the better.
    • Substitute: If an urge occurs, try to substitute it with another thought or try distracting yourself that will get your mind off it. For example, you could listen to music, surround yourself with people, go for a run or do something else that makes you happy and gets your mind off the urge.
  • Tips to end your self-harm:
    • Disclose your self-harm to someone close to you; it will alleviate the heaviness of keeping your state of mind and actions to yourself. The most important thing is to share what you are feeling.
    • Know what triggers your self-harm and familiarize yourself with what you are feeling and why. Begin to work on ways to solve your negative emotions instead of putting excessive focus on them.
    • Look for alternative ways to deal with your negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
  • Seek professional help in order to target self-harm tendencies.
    • A study on the most effective therapy approaches to treating self-harm has found the following as the most recommended options:
      • Problem-Solving Therapy
      • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
      • Psycho-dynamic Therapy
      • Interpersonal Problem-Solving Skills Training
        • https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK126779/
        • When researching providers in your area, ask them what their typical psychotherapy method is for treating self-harm. If they mention any of the above, they might be a good option for you.
  • 15 Self-Harm Alternatives:
    • Change your surroundings. Break harmful cycles of self-harm by going outside for a walk when experiencing urges to self-harm. Go places where you are less likely to self-harm.
    • Cry. Crying is your body’s built-in system for releasing emotions. Find a safe and quiet place to express your emotions.
    • Wash the dishes. Even a “boring” household chore can become soothing. Use some soap with a scent you love, and turn on a good podcast or your favorite music and wash away. Take your time and focus fully on the scrubbing movements.
    • Listen to a playlist. Make a playlist for all your moods: happy, sad, angry, nostalgic. Let yourself cry to the sad ones and have fun dancing to the upbeat, fun ones.
    • Clean your room. Don’t worry, you don’t have to clean the whole room! Just re-organizing your dresser or washing a window can help you focus on something else while being productive.
    • Wash your arms (or another part of your body). Whenever you feel the urge to cut yourself, use your favorite soap to wash the area of your body you want to harm. Gently massage your body as the soap suds wash away.
    • Write about the urges. Write about the feelings you experience when you feel the urge to self-harm, and the thoughts you have. This can help release your emotions, and also help you to look back and see when your urges are the strongest.
    • Hold something in your hand. Find a small item that will fit in the palm of your hand, like a smooth pebble. This can help you feel grounded when experiencing the urge to self-harm. Try to keep this item with you at all times, just in case.
    • Move around. Get up, walk around, dance a little, or maybe do a few yoga poses. You can even just shakes your arms and hands to simulate “shaking” the urge out of your body.
    • Hug something you love. This could be a beloved pet, a teddy bear, or a favorite fuzzy blanket to feel comforted. Cuddling and hugging can be healing.
    • Scream and yell. Scream into a pillow, or go outside and yell into the sky. Let yourself have a voice, and use that voice to express your emotions.
    • Name your feelings. When you feel the urge to self-harm, identify the exact emotions you are experiencing. Naming the emotion can help you gain control over your urges.
    • Call or text a trusted person.
  • How to help a friend who is self-harming:
  • What is self harm?
    • What qualifies: cutting or scratching yourself, taking an overdose of medications or other medicine, burning yourself, hitting yourself with or on another object, punching walls or other objects, pulling out your hair, etc.
    • Keep a diary to express your emotions and to have a better overview how often you have the need to hurt yourself.
  • Coping with Urges Guide:
    • The 15-minute rule. Instead of giving into an urge immediately, consider setting a timer for 15 minutes and wait. After the timer rings, evaluate how you feel. Has the urge diminished?
    • Ride the wave. Be aware that urges often follow the course of a wave - after they start they may grow increasingly intense but, if resisted, they will decrease.
    • Keep and review a log. It may be helpful to keep a log of the times that you did not act on your urge. Think about how you have resisted the urge before and remind yourself that you can do it again.
    • Progressive muscle relaxation. Slowly relaxing different parts of your body may help when you have the urge to harm yourself.
    • Talking to someone can be very helpful when you are having an intense urge to self-injure. Whether you discuss your urge or not, speaking with another person may help distract you from your emotions and urges. If you can not reach someone on the phone, consider going online to chat with a friend.
    • Do a creative activity. Consider expressing your emotions through a creative outlet, like singing, painting, sculpting, etc.
    • Listen to music. Listening and dancing to music may provide some relief, however, be careful to avoid music that may be triggering or worsen your mood.
    • Exercise intently to raise your heart rate. Raising your heart rate through vigorous exercise has been shown to be an effective for individuals who have the urge to self-harm.
    • Play or cuddle with a pet. This strategy can be done alone or combined with other strategies such as the 15-minute wait rule.

Bullying

  • Tools for Educators:
  • Tools for Students:
  • Tools for Parents:
  • Steps parents can take:
    • Help build up your child’s self esteem.
    • Have open conversations with your children about their social and school life.
    • Make sure your children feel safe sharing their experiences with you.
    • Keep aggressive stimulants, such as television shows and video games, to a minimum.
    • Engage your children in positive activities, such as sports.
    • Teach empathy to your children; show them how to care for others and set good examples for appropriate interactions.
    • Do not encourage your child to fight back when bullied.
    • Address all children about the negativity of bullying.
    • Have open communication with other adults in your child’s life (teachers, parents of others, etc.).
  • Tips for Caregivers:
    • Intervene immediately!
    • Separate the children involved.
    • Make sure everyone is safe.
    • Meet any immediate medical or mental health needs.
    • Stay calm and reassure the children involved.
    • Model respectful behavior when you intervene.
    • Avoid these common mistakes:
      • Don’t ignore it. Don’t assume children can work it out without the help of adults.
      • Don’t immediately try to sort out the facts.
      • Don’t force other children to say publicly what they saw.
      • Don’t question the children involved in front of others.
      • Don’t talk to the children involved together - speak to them separately.
      • Don’t make the children involved apologize or patch up relations on the spot.
    • Get people help or medical attention immediately if:
      • A weapon is involved.
      • There are threats of serious physical injury.
      • There are threats of hate-motivated violence, such as racism or homophobia.
      • There is serious bodily harm.
      • There is sexual abuse.
      • Anyone is accused of an illegal act, such as robbery or extortion (using force to get money, property, or services).
    • Finding out what happened:
      • Keep all the involved children separate.
      • Get the story from several sources, both adults and children.
      • Listen without blaming.
      • Don’t call the act “bullying” while you are trying to understand what happened.
    • Determine if it’s bullying:
      • What is the history between those involved?
      • Is there a power imbalance? Remember that a power imbalance is not limited to physical strength.
      • Has this happened before?
      • Is the child worried it will happen again?
      • What is the nature of the children’s relationship? (Have they dated?)
      • Are any of the children involved with a gang?
  • Digital Awareness of Parents:
    • Monitor your teen’s social media sites and apps if you have concerns about cyber-bullying.
    • Follow or friend your teen on social media sites, or have another trusted adult do so.
    • Stay up-to-date on the latest apps, social media platforms, and digital slang used by children or teens.
    • Establish rules about appropriate digital behavior, content, and apps.
    • Warning Signs a Child is Being Cyber-bullied or is Cyber-bullying Others:
      • Noticeable increases or decreases in device use.
      • A child exhibits emotional responses (laughter, anger, upset) to what is happening on their device.
      • A child hides their screen or device when others are near, and avoids discussion about what they are doing on their device.
      • Social media accounts are shut down or new ones appear.
      • A child starts to avoid social situations, even those that were enjoyed in the past.
      • A child becomes withdrawn or depressed, or loses interest in people and activities.
    • What do do when cyber-bullying happens:
  • Effects of Bullying (on the victim):
  • Different types of bullying:
    • Physical:
      • Can include: hitting, biting, kicking, or any damage to property.
    • Verbal:
      • Can include: teasing, name calling, insulting, and racial remarks.
    • Social:
      • Can include: rumors, negative gestures, cruel jokes, and excluding someone.
    • Cyber-bullying:

Grief

  • Five Stages of Grief:
    • Denial
    • Anger
    • Bargaining
    • Depression
    • Acceptance
  • Psych Central for Grief:
    • Contains informative articles with outlined self-help to cope with grief and loss. There are articles that provide ways to help others, such as friends and children.
  • The Dougy Center (The National Center for Grieving Children and Families):
    • They host support groups for families, kids, teens, young adults, etc.
    • They offer training in numerous cities on understanding and helping grieving children and teens.
    • How to help a grieving teen/basic principles of teen grief:
      • Grieving is the natural response to death.
      • Every grieving experience is unique.
      • There are no “right” or “wrong” ways to grieve (just “helpful, or “unhelpful”).
      • Each death is unique and is experienced differently.
      • The grieving process is influenced by many issues.
      • Grief is ongoing.
  • Hospice Foundation of America:
  • The National Child Traumatic Stress Network:
    • Helping Young Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers
      • This outlines some of the feelings that children might be facing when they are exposed to the death of someone meaningful in their life and ways that the caregivers can help.
    • Helping School-Age Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers
    • Helping Teens with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers
  • Bereaved Parents USA:
    • This is a non-profit organization that has chapters all across the country of self-help groups that offer support to bereaved parents, grandparents, or siblings that are trying to rebuild their lives after a death.
  • Loss Survivors - Taking Care of Yourself:
    • Find a support group so that you do not have to cope with your loss alone.
    • Writing may be a helpful outlet to express some of the things you were not able to say before your friend or loved one passed away.
    • Do what feels right to you, whether that be talking right away or being selective in who you chose to talk to.
    • Do not be afraid to ask for help from friends, family, or community resources.
  • How you can overcome this negative experience:
    • Process the death of the person that you lost.
    • Accept your feelings. Know whatever you are feeling is okay!
    • Take care of yourself and the people that are involved.
    • Reach out and help others who might be dealing with loss.
    • Remember the good times, and try to be celebrate and be thankful for knowing the person.
  • Understanding Grief:
    • Shock: Feelings of being dazed or detached are a common response to trauma. Shock can protect the mind form becoming completely overwhelmed, and serves the purpose of allowing the person to function.
    • Denial: Sometimes people can consciously or unconsciously refuse to accept the facts and information about another’s death. You can’t know everything, only time will eventually allow you to accept the situation.
    • Guilt: “I think it was my fault” guilt comes from the mistaken belief that we should have, or could have, prevented the death from happening.
    • Sadness: Once the initial reactions to the death by suicide have lessened in intensity, feelings of sadness and depression can move to the forefront. These feelings can be present for some time and can, at times, be triggered by memories and reminders of that person.
    • Anger: Feelings of anger towards the person you have lost can arise. Sometimes anger is needed before you can accept the reality of the loss.
    • Acceptance: The ultimate goal of healing is to accept the tragic event as something that could not have been prevented and cannot be changed. Accepting is learning to live again and to be able to reopen your heart, while still remembering the person who has passed away.
  • How to help a friend who is grieving:
    • Send something.
      • Consider giving the friend a card or a gift that deals with self help.
    • Offer support.
      • Try helping the friend with their daily chores or giving them a place to stay (when they need it).
    • Be there as a friend.
      • Physically be there when necessary and offer supportive advice.
    • Offer distractions.
      • Take the friend to do fun activities in public or get them to laugh.
    • Allow them to share their fears with you.
      • Simply listening to a friend or sitting in silence can help the friend vent out their feelings.
    • Continue to be there.

Sexual Violence

  • Rape
    • The Advocacy Center (Based in Ithaca, NY):
      • Helps to increase the safety and reduce the trauma for those who have been impacted by sexual assault, rape, domestic violence, or childhood sexual abuse.
      • Services are free and confidential and are provided to every individual regardless of race, sexual orientation, age, or immigration status.
      • Client Services team provides in person and over the phone service to those who have been impacted by any of the concerns above.
      • There is shelter provided at a confidential safe house.
      • Assistance is given to develop a physical and emotional safety plan.
      • Hotline number: 607-277-5000 (24 hour)
    • Rape Culture, Victim Blaming, and the Facts:
  • Definition of Sexual Violence:
    • Any type of unwanted sexual contact.
    • Words and/or actions of a sexual kind against a person’s will and without their consent.
    • Forms of sexual violence:
      • Rape or sexual assault.
      • Child sexual assault and incest.
      • Sexual assault by a someone’s spouse/partner.
      • Unwanted sexual contact/touching.
      • Sexual trafficking.
      • Exposing one’s genitals or naked body.
      • Masturbating in public.
      • Watching someone perform private acts without their knowledge or consent.
    • National Sexual Violence Resources Center:
      • Every state and territory has a national network of community-based rape crisis centers; they provide services related to the following:
        • Advocacy.
        • Support at medical exams and law enforcement interviews.
        • Education.
        • Follow-up services.
        • Referrals to other resources.
      • How Friends and Family can help:
  • Sexual Assault
    • National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
    • National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474
    • National Sex Offender Public Website: https://www.nsopw.gov/en/
    • National Street Harassment Hotline: 1-855-897-5910
    • KNOW your rights if you identify as a victim of sexual assault:
      • You may receive a forensic exam (rape kit) at no cost.
      • Confidential access to advocates.
      • Storage of evidence kits.
      • Potential financial compensation for you being a crime victim.
      • There is a statute of limitations on reporting a sexual assault to the police.
      • The link below provides information on the statutes of limitation for each state in the US regarding sexual assault.
  • Sexual Harassment
    • If someone is sexually harassing you, you should:
      • Be firm and clear with the fact that their behavior is unwanted and is making you uncomfortable.
      • Keep records of instances where harassment occurs.
      • Tell those you are comfortable with what is going on (colleagues, friends, family).
      • Call the Women’s Helpline at 1800 777-555; you will be connected to legal help and counselors (Sexual Assault Center: 6779-0282).
    • If someone is sexually harassing you, you shouldn’t:

Episode 2: Two Girls Kissing[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Bullying

Grief

Sexual Violence

Guilt

  • Suggestions for coping with guilt:
    • Recognize the kind of guilt you have and its purpose.
      • “Appropriate guilt” serves a purpose in helping us redirect our morals.
      • “Inappropriate guilt” occurs when there is nothing to feel guilty about. It is unhealthy because it does not serve a purpose.
    • Make amends sooner rather than later.
      • Outgoing guilt can weigh a person down as he or she tries to move forward in life. The sooner a person learns from his or her guilt and makes amends, the sooner he or she will be able to forward.
    • Accept you might have done something wrong, but move on.
      • We cannot change the past. The more we focus on believing we need to do something more, the more it will bother us and interfere with our relationships.
    • Learn from your behavior.
      • Learning how to handle guilt will allow us to gain experience, so we are less likely to feel that way in the future.
    • Acknowledge that perfection does not exist.

Relationship Difficulties

  • Consider couples therapy. A therapist may be a helpful mediator that serves to help you both resolve current areas of disagreement. Therapy may be particularly helpful if:
    • Your relationship feels like it is in a state of emergency.
    • If one of you seems to have a significant clinical concern.
    • If one of you has experienced a traumatic event or was a part of a hurtful childhood that may be impacting the current state of the relationship.
  • 6 steps for couples who are experiencing relationship difficulties:
    • Remember the beginning of the relationship.
      • Example: How did the two of you meet and fall in love?
    • Take a look at the current relationship.
      • Example: How do you treat the other person in the relationship?
    • Try to remember when the relationship began to change in a negative way.
      • Example: Was there an event that caused your partner and you to drift apart?
    • Recall what stopped the recovery process from happening after the struggle.
      • Example: Were you emotionally holding yourself back, so you could avoid the conversation?
    • Figure out what you can do to restart the spark between your partner and you.
      • Example: Can you forgive the things that happened in the past?
    • Figure out what you can do differently in the future.

Episode 3: The Drunk Slut[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Self-Injurious Behavior

Grief

Sexual Violence

Depression

LGBTQ Concerns

  • Organization that provides support while you’re coming out. They have youth groups who will support you in any way they can and you will meet people who are in your same situation. You can talk about how you might be feeling and what you’re going through physically and mentally. Full support!
  • Need an unbiased person to talk to?
    • Youthline phone: 1-800-268-9688
    • Text: 647-694-4275
      • http://www.youthline.ca
  • A guide to help you come out:
    • Look at yourself in the mirror.
    • Make yourself a priority and know the importance of self-pleasure.
    • Buy clothes that make you feel good and confident.
    • Surround yourself with non-judgmental people with whom you can talk about how you are feeling.
      • https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/save-your-sex-life/201206/women-only-guide-coming-out-your-sexual-shell
  • The Trevor Project:
    • A lifeline that the LGBTQ community can use to talk to others who are a part of the community or who are allies.
      • https://www.thetrevorproject.org/#sm.000006ccucts7mcxjzlqol14wta2q
  • How to come out to your parents:
    • Pick a good time.
      • Do not explain your sexuality to your parents during an argument. This could make things worse.
    • It takes time.
      • Understand that your family will cycle through periods of rejection and acceptance, but they will eventually accept who you are.
    • Talk it out with others.
      • Sometimes parents will talk with their friends about the situation. They do this because they need to fully process the situation.
    • Be prepared and patient.
      • Understand that discussing your sexuality with your family may upset them. Also understand that discussing your sexuality with others can cause them to take a religious view.
    • Be ready to teach.
      • Explain to your parents that your sexuality is who you are.
    • Explain why you are coming out.
      • Explain to your parents that you want to be honest with them because you love them.
        • http://www.psychpage.com/learning/library/gay/outparents.html
  • What if you are the parent? How do you respond? Things you can do:
    • Take a deep breath.
    • Be grateful that your child came through and trusted you so much.
    • Make sure you tell your child that your love for them will not change.
    • It’s okay to be shocked, communicate with your child and if you need time to gather your thoughts, take your time.
    • Be supportive and know that it is all okay.
    • Talk to a close friend and share how you are feeling, if you’re experiencing negative emotions, talk to someone who might give you a different outlook on life and the situation. It is not the end of the world.
      • https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/gay-and-lesbian-well-being/201104/what-do-when-your-child-says-im-gay
  • PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) is a multipurpose website that helps unite families and allies with the LGBTQ community. Their goals are:
    • Equality
    • Faith Community Relationships
    • Family
    • Hate Crimes
    • HIV and STD Prevention
    • Inclusive Sexuality Education
    • Intersex
    • Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Individuals as a Protected Class
    • Marriage Equality
    • Opposing So-Called Reparative or Conversion “Therapy”
    • Public Accommodations
    • Safe and Welcoming Schools
    • Sexual Exploitation of Youth
    • Unity and Inclusion
    • Workplace Equality
      • http://www.pflag.org/policystatements
  • Discrimination
    • The APA provides resources for learning about discrimination, how to cope with discrimination, and resources for understanding and reporting discrimination in the workplace.
    • Dealing with discrimination:
      • Focus on your strengths.
      • Seek support systems.
      • Get involved.
      • Help yourself think clearly.
      • Don’t dwell.
      • Seek professional help.
        • https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/discrimination

Episode 4: The Second Polaroid[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Sexual Violence

Depression

Substance Use

Episode 5: The Chalk Machine[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Bullying

Grief

Depression

Trauma

  • Emotional Health:
    • Survivors of childhood abuse can often experience feelings of anxiety, worry, shame, guilt, helplessness, hopelessness, grief, sadness and anger.
  • Mental Health:
    • Abuse or trauma as a child has been linked with higher rates of anxiety, depression, suicide and self harm, PTSD, drug and alcohol misuse and relationship difficulties.
  • Physical Health:
  • The National Child Traumatic Stress Network:
    • https://www.nctsn.org/resources/helping-teens-traumatic-grief-tips-caregivers
    • Helping Young Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers
      • This outlines some of the feelings that children might be facing when they are exposed to the death of someone meaningful in their life and ways that the caregivers can help.
    • Helping School-Age Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers
    • Helping Teens with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers

Episode 6: The Smile at the End of the Dock[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Sexual Violence

Episode 7: The Third Polaroid[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Bullying

Grief

Sexual Violence

Depression

Substance Use

Divorce

  • State Divorce Resources for all 50 States:
  • Divorce Support Group:
  • How to Deal With A Divorce in Your Family:
    • Keep calm and maintain harmony within the family.
      • Sometimes it can be difficult to maintain the peace within your family because if the current problem, but try to remind your family that it is best to minimize the stress.
    • Be fair to all sides.
      • Do not try to pick one parent over another. It can make the other one feel upset.
    • Talk with your parents about any concerns.
      • Communication is key, be open and honest with your parents.
    • Understand your emotional strengths.
      • During times of stress, it can be beneficial to understand how you handle the situation and how you act around others.
  • Divorce counseling is recommended for those who are seeking support on an individual basis to process any feelings or emotions stemming from the divorce.
    • It is also recommended that parents bring their children to counseling to process the experience of divorce and its consequences on the well-being of the children.
  • Continue to live your life.
    • Sometimes it can be difficult to live normally when everything is extremely stressful. It is best to continue to try to live your life.
  • Allow others to support you.
  • Helping Kids Cope with Separation and Divorce:
    • A guide for parents when helping their children learn about and cope through divorce.


Episode 8: The Little Girl[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Bullying

Substance Use

Episode 9: The Missing Page[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Suicide

Bullying

Sexual Violence

Gun Violence

  • After experiencing gun violence, you may undergo symptoms of stress including:
    • Frequent nightmares.
    • Intense thoughts about the event that are easily triggered by things in your environment, such as television and news media.
    • Irrational avoidance of places or situations.
    • Anxiety triggered by sounds that remind you of the incident.
  • It is important to monitor your symptoms after the event of a shooting. If these symptoms stay constant, you may develop PTSD. If you notice your symptoms getting worse, early intervention is crucial.

Episode 10: Smile, Bitches![edit]

Themes of the episode

Bullying

Sexual Violence

LGBTQ Concerns

Substance Use

Gun violence

Domestic Violence

  • The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
  • The website below lists national, state, teen specific, and LGBT specific organizations for support for victims and survivors.
  • The link below can be used to find a domestic violence shelter near you.
  • National Dating Abuse Helpline (Love is Respect): 1-866-331-9474
  • Domestic violence is any abusive behavior that includes any of the following, but is not limited to:
    • Using physical force to cause harm to someone (physical abuse).
    • Forcing someone to participate in sexual activity (sexual abuse).
    • Manipulating someone’s thoughts and emotions with the use of words (verbal abuse).
    • Controlling  someone’s money spending (financial abuse).

https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/resources/domestic-violence/#gref

Episode 11: Bryce and Chloe[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Grief - Survivor’s Guilt

Sexual Violence

Gun Violence

Physical Violence

Episode 12: The Box of Polaroids[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Grief

Sexual Violence

Gun Violence

Domestic Violence

Episode 13: Bye[edit]

Themes of the episode[edit]

Sexual Violence

Substance Use

Gun Violence

Teen pregnancy  

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