An example self-healing
“ | If you cannot think, walk; if you think too much, walk; if you think badly, walk again. Jean Giono | ” |
Finding serenity
[edit | edit source]I would like to share something with you, a ploy that helped me a lot, long time ago, and still helps me from time to time. It could be useful to other people. May be it wouldn't work with everyone, especially if the person don't have a minimum of self-analysis practice. I discovered this ploy when I was 44 years old, as I was doing a long hike of 34 km (at 4,5-5 km/h) on often muddy paths, during the snack break/rest, after an important physical effort, on a very sunny day. I was surrounded by friendly and relaxed hikers that I knew. This ploy took barely a tenth of a second to work: after I realized that it was the right thing to think (“this idea is wrong”), it was instantaneous, even if I had only “injected” in my mind paragraph 1). It took me three years to finalize with paragraph 2), because the ploy didn't always work. A friend of mine reviewed the formulation of the second paragraph, dividing it into three concise sentences.
This method is not really "free", because it's necessary to do an effort, working only with the intellect, leaving out all emotion. This effort may sometimes be accepted only after a few minutes, a few days, or more, and sometimes we don't even think to use it: the unconscious uses unsuspected tricks, knowing that the human prefers the slightest effort.
The method
[edit | edit source]If you feel a bit depressed for several days without any particular reason:
1) Take a few minutes to relax, and do seek what could have been the negative idea (sad or scary, hopeless) and wrong, that you may have had lately, before the first symptoms of discomfort appeared – when did they start? after what event? or what observation? or what thinking? or do I have a decision to make, which perhaps has been delayed?
2) Once the idea that started the depression is found, it may be difficult to admit, especially if the discomfort, the psychological tiredness, has been installed for a long me time:
– On the one hand that this idea could be false – it's the biggest difficulty.
– On the other hand, that it could be the cause of such a discomfort.
– Finally, that a way out could exist.
Then ask yourself if this state–a negative state– has the right place in the constructive dynamics of life. You immediately see that no, and then you better admit that the negative idea is a misconception.
3). It may be disturbing to note that you have been able to put in mind such an idea, sometimes absurd. Then ask yourself if when this occurred, you were not already in a state of fragility. If so, this discovery is reassuring, which allows you to understand why the depression could appear.
- We sometimes fantasize about the presumed idyllic future that would provide a future event. Waiting is difficult. This misconception of a carefree future contrasts with our way of experiencing the present, which seems dull in comparison..
- On the other hand, when faced with a difficult ordeal, we sometimes think: “Ah! If this had not happened...” Here, too, instead of looking for a solution, we live the present in a wrong way. If eventually you cannot find the negative idea, ask ourselves : “In all that I have felt recently, where can I say that there has been a death drive?”
- The misconception is always linked to the impression (often unconscious) of don't feel loved anymore. When a strong adversity appears, we think that nobody in the world—and especially God!— will be able to assist us. Feeling abandoned remind us (unconsciously) our childhood «abandonments». To remember them, to regain consciousness of this, gives us a reassuring explanation. Psychoanalysis teach that it is completely human, honest with oneself, urgent and liberating, to awaken (mentally) the aggression we have felt (deep down) towards people (often very close) by whom we have been felt abandoned–even if they could not do otherwise, in their point of view. This feeling of abandonment leads to the false idea (unconscious) of a total abandonment by the Project of the Universe, or of God.
Chinese medicine teaches us that a hip pain is indicative of a feeling of abandonment painfully experienced–common with elderly. The symbolism is that if the leg wants to go forward–we must move forward in life–the rest of the body, which don't cooperate, feels abandoned and prefers not to move: a disharmony settles, that may cause later an irreversible injury if we can not free ourselves from this feeling of abandonment. If we succeed, we promote healing. If I have abandoned or neglected a person, or a project, I can also feel a very destabilizing lack.
The misconception may be the feeling of not being able to find again such a love, such a friendship, such a big project, which was so important to us. When we understand the illusory nature of this negative idea, finally brought to light, a change of polarity occurs in our mind, from negative to positive. A feeling of depressing fatality, or hopeless, is replaced by the liberating and energizing idea that it's normal that one always has, like an athlete, to fight (but each day has enough trouble of its own),
because life is a combat sport (many people already said it). And we will be able, more than before, the real actor of our life. Because it's when man is acting, that he is alive. This idea opens the way to a new, very beautiful, availability. A feeling of fullness occurs. I call this little system “algorithm”.
- algorithm:
- finished sequence of elementary operations
- constituting a calculation scheme
- or a problem solving scheme.
Note: Theoretically, this small method should also work during a real depression. It would be neglecting the fact that a solitary and punctual research does not have sufficient restorative power. It could then be advantageous to re-examine quietly, with a doctor of the soul, in a benevolent dialogue, a respectful listening, the erroneous thoughts (and their implications) that the false idea, placed there in germ - often old and considered for a long time as a fatality - has aroused and let develop. And deposit there the triggering idea that swarmed more or less deeply. This method can however help to clarify a situation of uneasiness, to give food for thought. Difficult turning points in life conceal unsuspected treasure trunks that are just waiting to be opened. You just have to find the right key.
[From here, to be read over]
The context of the discovery
[edit | edit source]During these last weeks, I had been feeling a unhealthy tiredness in my upper thighs. On that sunny day, after a long effort, I sat down, surrounded by friends. During the last kilometers, I had been talking with a young hiker while walking, he left on my left. The group leader, a young woman not only pretty but open to life, very positive, sat down on my right. The landscape is gently sloping, all around sparse trees soften the landscape. The effort had been pretty tough. I enjoy these first seconds of rest, while muscles are relaxing and mind is rested, thanks to the exercise in the open air. I don’t yet open my backpack immediately, to take out my snack, as my friends do.
Life offers very pleasant moments, even we have difficulties. I begin to think that this physical fatigue, this way that my body has to show me how it's hard for it to keep me up, means something, I'm must be a bit depressed. I already knew that at a false and negative idea is always the origin of any depression, then I searched what could be clouding my mind. I am currently in a period that alternates galley and odd jobs, having recently passed an entrance exam (public administration), but the pending to be assigned to the job is one year. This waiting time is hopelessly long. I self-talked: ‘’I must certainly imagine, being so impatient, that after that, no more worries − come on! Public administration! – life will be easy for ever!” But is that the reality? Of course no! We never saw that! I will always have to fight!” As soon as I mentally pronounced this word, “fight”, I felt an intense release, the physical fatigue left me as if by magic. I'm amazed to have been able in a split second to cure me of a depression that had endured over a couple of months. Maybe I self-talked, too: “Wow! Every problem has a solution !”. It was the first time I used this ploy; later, for less important problems, the feeling of liberation would be less intense.
When a problem, or a difficult situation, has long seemed insoluble, if in a amazing way the solution emerges, the feeling of well-being is ineffable.
If we want to look for an explanation of this sudden cure, we can see that all the conditions were met. I had previously done a long work of self-analysis, succeeding in decipher several dreams messengers, surprising, that seemed at first very obscure, but are the most significant, the most important. During this hike with friends, the physical effort in nature had been intense, but in good company. Then came the moment of relaxation, very appreciated on the hillside, under a beautiful sun, and moreover (a friend made this observation much later, when I had told her the story of this adventure – I didn’t have noted this myself, being too concerned), I was surrounded during this break by two nice people, on my left a man, on my right a woman, a very positive person. The man could represent the father, and the woman the mother, especially as this young woman who sat near me was the group leader (feeling of protection, and security).
Another method, very simple, to free yourself from daily stress
[edit | edit source]Some days ago I discovered TRE (Tension or Trauma Release Exercises), developed by David Berceli, an international expert in the areas of trauma intervention and conflict. TRE consist of a short set of exercises intended to relax the psoas muscles thanks to involuntary tremors (especially in the thighs and the lumbar region), providing a release of tensions (small or deep), psychological stress, trauma. It requires only 15 minutes and helps the body (therefore the spirit) to calm down. One may do it from time to time, the recommended rhythm is 3 to 7 times a week. Discovering it, it’s quite surprising the first time, one can laugh, another one can weep. Personally I laughed (like many other people do, I think). It’s quite surprising, I think I will do it regulary (a book is available).