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A course in troll sockpuppets/Insecure troll

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An insecure troll doesn't think he measures up.
A two inch ruler.

One of the easiest trolls to create is the insecure troll. He's desperate to compensate for something and doesn't have a girlfriend. So in between rounds of downloading pornography he tells everyone what a great big man he is. Nobody's fooled but that doesn't stop him from trying.

Instructions

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To build the insecure troll, mark off two inches from a regular ruler onto a piece of cardboard in quarter inch increments. Trim and attach to the troll hand with basting stitches. Or substitute a magnifying glass.

Poor little troll...