Peer Edit of: Language in Down's Syndrome
You have a good first version started but still some editing and grammatical corrections need to be done, with some sentences needing to be referenced. Also, inserting some pictures, tables or diagrams to break up the text would be a great addition to your chapter page. Some of your shorter heading sections need additional information but I realize this is a first draft, so I am sure you will do this. A concluding paragraph would be a nice finishing touch to wrap the chapter up.
Research- Try to keep reference formatting consistent throughout your chapter page. For example, (Thompson & Thompson, 2007) vs. Gardiner et al., (2010). You may want to look at additional research articles in order to add some more depth to some of your subject headings. Also, one thing for your references would be to alphabetize them. You may want to add more sources to your reference section, three (other than the textbook references) are probably not sufficient for your chapter depth. Also, one area to focus on is current research being conducted or future directions for your topic.
Organization - The initial overview/introduction you provide to the topic is great. One suggestion may be to divide it into subsections when you are talking about the different Down Syndrome sub types; ie Mosaic, trisomy etc. You could also consider this subsection outline for the Physical Attributes section. The overall layout of the page makes sense but a larger introduction and summary/conclusion section would add to your page.
The Language development and Language characteristics sections could be longer and more detailed as these should be the main focus of your chapter. I found myself asking the why and how of the underlying mechanisms that cause language development issues etc. The interventions section needs expansion as I am not quite sure what is supposed to go in this section so at this time I cannot really offer any concrete advice. I realize that this is your first draft and will be adding to it shortly. Some suggestions perhaps would be to put research areas of focus, new findings that relate to language development and more specific language issues for individuals with Down syndrome. Or is this section meant to explain methods to teach individuals who have these language delays? Will it include diagnostic tools for determining how delayed a person is in relation to language acquisition? There are lots of different options to include in this section.
Writing Structure/Style - Some sentences are worded awkwardly in your chapter but I think it just needs some reviewing to fix this. Reading your chapter out loud helps with assessing any areas that need correction. There are some terms that you may want to explain or expand upon further so the reader has a better understanding (meiotic nondisjuncture, transverse palmar, plantar surface etc). This is a good solid foundation for your first draft and shows that you have researched your subject.
Overall your chapter is a good introduction to Language in Down’s Syndrome and as the term progresses I am sure you will add and edit it to make it even better. Adding some more historical aspects to the topic and further explanation of how language develops differently and the challenges that are faced, would ensure great improvement on an already great start! Another option is to add a history section, which could include focus areas such as major contributors to this area and progression of research and knowledge over time etc. Outside of doing a little more research and delving into some of the topics on a deeper level, I think you are on the right track to creating an interesting chapter to contribute to the overall Psycholinguistics page. Good work!
--Jchetwynd 22:22, 27 February 2011 (UTC)