Talk:Motivation and emotion/Textbook/Motivation/Risk-taking

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Rough Draft Feedback[edit]

Hi there, I have just read over your plan, you seem to have everything down-pat and well covered. One cause for concern though is are you sure the amount of content you have for each of your sub-chapters will fit into the word limit? Other then that I love your idea of using case studies as well as review questions, this will help the reader a lot. I am still yet to devise my chapter plan (will discuss this with the group on thursday) 11:36, 7 September 2010 (UTC)

Hi, plan looks great. My only suggestion if you want to cut back in some areas on actual risk taking and focus primarily on risk-taking in a motivational framework (so don't cut anything from part two of your plan but you might be very brief in outlining the risk-taking behaviours and just include brief description of the pyschopathology your investigating in a general way? Maybe just list the types of risk taking behaviours without going into depth? I hope this helps. Keep powering along. Cheers, Bec

FYI...You're a star! Today, your plan was presented at lecture as an example of the perfect plan and he said although there was lots of content, its much better to have too much than not enough. James said it was a really well developed plan. Hence, take no notice of what I said above just yet until we get into tutorial as we are working on our plans then. Well done. Cheers, Bec

Agree with above comments. This is an excellent plan. It is well thought through - it's clear that you have done significant preliminary research to develop the Chapter outline. Your plan covers theory with excellent coverage and application. Just make sure to cite relevant peer-reviewed research to accompany the theory. I wasn't sure about where the very last section (in everyday life?) might best fit in - it's seem to be hanging at the end. It's possible that you may have too much content, but easier to start with this and trim down. If this is needed, it would be helpful to get clear about which topics are essential and which are nice to have but not essential. Hope this helps. Sincerely, James. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:50, 13 September 2010 (UTC)

You have done some magnificent work (and certainly you have read widely as demonstrated within your text). Its always good to write according to plan and I have enjoyed seeing your plan in action. Great intro too! Its not too technical and it is relates well to the reader, so its highly engaging. Keep up the good work. Cheers, Bec

You're nearly there! Well done. You're chapter is looking good so far and is very readable. Although it is long, it has all the info. you need for the topic of risk-taking. I have finished my page except for a final read over and hopefully James can help me wikify it so its beautiful like other finished pages. But I was wondering if you could take a look and comment for me? Any feedback would be much appreciated. Cheers, Bec (U118827) chapter is on student motivation theories:)

You have been busy and your chapter is shaping up nicely. Keep up the good work. I'll chat soon in tut tomorrow. Cheers, Bec (U118827)

Hey, your page looks awesome, you've covered every topic possible and it's easy to read. There's a lot of content, you've obviously extensively researched, I didnt really read each section in depth purely because there was so much. I noticed that some of your comments are quite definitive, is that intentional for shock value? Again, your page looks fantastic, I'll be checking back to see how you finish it all off! Cheers Mylie M.Sell 09:32, 28 October 2010 (UTC)


I just had a quick read of the Sensation seeking section. I noticed that some of the uses of "was" (past tense) probably should "is" or "are" (present tense) unless you are talking about specific studies in the past. This may be true also for other sections - could be worth checking. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:46, 31 October 2010 (UTC)

Heading levels[edit]

Could you check over the heading levels - I've changed a few but the rest need checking/correcting - basically the title will be =, the main sections ==, subsections === etc. But these are very minor issues - content is looking excellent at a quick passing. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:09, 2 November 2010 (UTC)

Well done - looks really good now. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:23, 2 November 2010 (UTC)

Wikipedia links[edit]

Well done on adding useful links to Wikipedia articles. Ideally, could you convert these links to internal links, e.g., like this Risk which is [[w:Risk|Risk]]. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:23, 2 November 2010 (UTC)


Thank-you for feedback re:student motivation theories. I have just submitted the URL. You chapter looks fantastic, loads of links, relevant research (up-to-date with links to foundational studies in the way you've written them up). The graphics are great (the car crash was shocking but underscores the negative consequences of some risk-taking behaviour. Overall, I reckon your chapter should receive top marks:) I hope you're going to apply for honours when you finish next year? Give honours some serious thought becuase you're the type of student I think they're after:) See you in tut next Thursday. Cheers, Bec

Chapter feedback

This textbook chapter has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see what editing changes I have made whilst reading through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below or continuing to improve the chapter if you wish. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

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  1. Overall, this is a solid DI-level chapter. It is very long and clearly a lot of effort has gone into this, with many excellent aspects. Whilst comprehensive, the chapter could have been stronger chapter by being more selective. Some sections were not clearly related to motivation, and could have been more relevant in an encyclopedic article about risk-taking as a broader phenomenon. Overall, the chapter provided stronger coverage of theory than research. Some claims needed better citation.



  1. When describing important research findings, try to indicate the size of effects rather than simply whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. Some paragraphs were overly long (e.g., the last paragraph). Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
  2. APA style
    1. Do not cite the year for subsequent citations within a paragraph.
    2. Use double quotation marks (not two single quote marks) for direct quotes.
  3. Excellent use of wiki-links e.g. to other textbook chapters.
  4. Image captions to explain the relevance to the text would have been helpful.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:11, 12 December 2010 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.



  1. Overall, this chapter provides a narrative audio based on a set of slides with some accompanying images as a summary of the textbook chapter.
  2. In the general introduction, try to engage the listening by establishing why this is an important motivational topic.
  3. Audio was clear and reasonably well paced. Greater variation in tone could aid to interest level.
  4. Slides were clear.
    1. Font size (no smaller)
    2. Font face (arial is probably easier to read)
    3. Use of different colours was helpful (could do this more)
    4. Some images were used.
    5. Bullet-point animation could help to focus the viewer on each key point.
  5. Perhaps consider cover less content and focus more on the take-home messages and embellishing them examples and/or research.
  6. Summary & conclusion - this helped to bring the presentation together, but what are the take-home messages?
  7. Image attributions?
  8. Copyright license?

Structure and content[edit]


Production quality[edit]

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:49, 14 December 2010 (UTC)