Talk:Motivation and emotion/Textbook/Motivation/Indigenous Australians

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Feedback[edit]

Here's some feedback on this chapter so far:

  1. Well done on getting this underway. I've Moodle messaged and emailed you some more information. Some other comments follow.
  2. I've added some related focus questions which you might consider. Make sure (for the final draft) that the focus questions match the content.
  3. Add at least some very brief history, to set the context - some links to relevant Wikipedia articles could be appropriate here.
  4. Table 1. Some major comparisons between cultures - between which cultures? Is this specific to indigenous Australians?
  5. Image - expand the caption.
  6. Check grammar: "Therefore, motivations will reflect a collective nature within Indigenous Australians populations."
  7. Some more about Schwartz's (1991) results could be useful/interesting.
  8. Key references could include major government reports and reviews e.g., related to employment.
  9. Make sure you do a good search of the Australian Journal of Psychology for relevant references.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:02, 1 November 2010 (UTC)

I've added an intro paragraph to help shape the context of this chapter. Feel free of course to modify, but I hope it might help. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:58, 4 November 2010 (UTC)

Feedback 2[edit]

  1. Introduction
    1. I've redrafted the intro paragraph - and also shifted the focus questions to immediately follow the introductory paragraph. This opening could be further improved by leading into and explaining/justifying the focus questions.
  2. The body text is taking shape now. Probably the area that deserves the most work I think will be the intro and conclusions to each section to help put each section in context and in relation to the focus questions, and to help flow between the sections. But get your body content down first, then you can work on smoothing and integrating it.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:43, 5 November 2010 (UTC)


Chapter feedback

This textbook chapter has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see what editing changes I have made whilst reading through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below or continuing to improve the chapter if you wish. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is an impressive effort to pull together a highly readable and well targeted and balanced chapter about motivation in the context of indigenous Australians from both a historical and contemporary point of view.

Theory[edit]

  1. The coverage of theories was appropriately broad, yet were tied together by the motivational theme.
  2. The focus on educational motivation was excellent.
  3. Perhaps a focus on health motivation could also be useful.

Research[edit]

  1. The chapter identified and utilised several relevant studies.
  2. What methods did McLennan's (2003) study use?
  3. It could have been helpful to provide more detail about Schwartz's (1990) study.
  4. When describing important research findings, try to indicate the size of effects rather than simply whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit]

  1. The chapter was written in a friendly, non-biased, easy to understand manner.
  2. The focus questions were excellent.
  3. Some feature boxes and examples were provided.
  4. Some of the bullet-points should have been in full paragraph format.
  5. Learning features
    1. More wiki-links could be provided
    2. The quiz activities could be converted into wiki format
  6. Spelling, grammar and proofreading
    1. Use Australian spelling e.g., hypothesize -> hypothesise
    2. Do not cite the year for subsequent citations within a paragraph e.g., Smith (2010) but after that in the same paragraph only refer to Smith.
    3. Check use of ownership apostrophes e.g., individuals -> individual's
    4. Check consistency of aboriginal vs. Aboriginal (should be latter, I think)
  7. APA style
    1. APA style of reference list was very good - check capitalisation.
    2. Images were not captioned using APA style.
    3. In-text citations should be in alphabetical order

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:27, 11 December 2010 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit]

Structure and content[edit]

  1. This presentation provides a basic, arrated bullet-point summary of the chapter.
  2. Take time in the introduction to establish the importance of the topic and the focus questions.
  3. Audio was low volume, with background noise (maybe use a direct mic?).
  4. Font size - no smaller, maybe blow up a bit.
  5. In some slides, the background makes it difficult to read the text.
  6. Slow down the narration. Take time to let the key points to sink in. This probably means making fewer points (i.e., shorten the script, but embellish each point, perhaps with examples or research).
  7. There was an audio jump between some slide transitions (seemed like there a lot of stops/starts?)

Communication[edit]

Production quality[edit]

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:40, 14 December 2010 (UTC)