Motivation and emotion/Book/2025/Social media and emotion regulation

Social media use and emotional regulation:
How is social media used to manage and regulate emotions?

Overview

Figure 1. With technology becoming an important part of our everyday life, social media has also become a source of emotional regulation and a way to distract ourselves from our life stressors and distress. Scenario Adam is a university student who is going through a breakup from his 7-year girlfriend. He was working in the evening every day during the week, and was attending his classes, lectures and meeting with his study groups in the morning. He finds it very hard to manage his studies and work while feeling extremely distressed that his relationship with his girlfriend of seven years came to an end. He decides to scroll through TikTok and Instagram because he feels it’s too hard to study or get out of bed. On the phone, he watches some clips of his favourite sitcoms, some memes and reels. He keeps going from one social media app to another, while liking his friends’ and former girlfriend’s posts and stories. This process takes hours, and Adam now feels distracted and calmer than the few past hours. He feels like he has found comfort in bed when he starts watching the memes. By the time the phone is switched off, he feels calmer – but only temporarily.

Many young people, like Adam, turn to social media to cope with difficult emotions (McAlister et al., 2024; Iñiguez et al., 2024). It can offer distraction, comfort, and social and peer connection. A study has shown that it can also satisfy multiple psychological needs, including social connection, information, entertainment, and self-expression (Ostic et al., 2021). A lot of people can rely on social media for distraction or comfort as it can be easily accessed, sometimes free of charge and it connects people with family, friends and people with similar interests. Like Adam, who is going through a tough time with assignments coming up, he felt the short-term benefit of feeling distracted, comforted and maybe connected with some of his friends.

This chapter discusses how people use social media to regulate and manage their emotions. Emotion regulation refers to the way in which individuals express their emotions, and how they choose and experience them (Gross, 2015). Emotional regulation can be adaptive or adaptive, automatic or deliberate, modulate emotional expression, duration and intensity. Some ways of regulating are healthy (reappraisal, mindfulness), others less effective (suppression, avoidance).

Social media can be used as a tool to regulate emotion. Like Adam, scrolling over social media platforms to be distracted can be a means to regulate emotions (Iñiguez et al., 2024).

Focus questions What is emotional regulation? Why do we use social media to regulate and manage our emotions? In what ways do we use social media to regulate emotions? What are the benefits of relying on social media to manage emotions; and what are the risks?

Understanding Emotional Regulation

What is emotional regulation?

To understand why we use social media to regulate our emotions it is important to understand emotional regulation and its theories. The way we can regulate our emotions can include focusing on our breathing when overwhelmed, taking a nap when we feel tired, making major decisions like quitting a job, or shifting our thinking about a situation or event (Gross, 2015). Gross (2015) distinguishes emotion regulation from other processes like coping (long term stress reduction), defense mechanisms (unconscious strategies like denial), self-regulation broadly (controlling thoughts).

Emotions can be intrinsic or extrinsic regulation. Intrinsic emotion regulation refers to the process of modifying one’s own emotion to match their goals or expectations. It is self-directed regulation, for example when you tell yourself “This exam is just practice, not a life-or-death situation” to reduce anxiety. Extrinsic regulation, on the other hand, is other-directed regulation, and refers to the process of deliberately influencing another person’s emotion. For example, telling a joke to cheer up a colleague who’s upset.

The Process Model of Emotion Regulation, explains the steps that we take to generate, manage and regulate our emotions (Gross, 2002; Gross, 2015; McRae, 2016) (see Table 1).

Table 1

Stages of Emotion Regulation in Gross’s Process Model

Stage	Definition	Example	Notes
Situation Selection	Choosing to enter or avoid situations based on expected emotional outcomes.	Avoiding an argument to prevent anger.	Linked to long-term benefits since it involves proactive decision-making.
Situation Modification	Changing aspects of a situation to alter its emotional impact.	Putting grade transcripts in a drawer rather than leaving them visible.	Works best when the situation is within personal control.
Attentional Deployment	Redirecting attention to reduce negative emotions or enhance positive ones.	Focusing on work during a business trip to avoid thinking about relationship problems.	Includes strategies like distraction, concentration, and rumination.
Cognitive Change (Reappraisal)	Reframing the meaning of a situation to change its emotional impact.	Viewing job rejection as a learning opportunity; reframing a fight with a friend as temporary.	Can increase or decrease both negative and positive emotions.
Response Modulation (Suppression)	Altering experiential, behavioral, or physiological responses after emotions are triggered.	Keeping a calm face and neutral tone when frustrated in a meeting.	Suppression often reduces outward expression but can increase inner stress.

Affective Consequences of Emotion Regulation: Reappraisal vs. Suppression

Evidence for reappraisal comes from early studies showing that reframing distressing content reduced stress (Lazarus & Alfert, 1966). Participants in this study were asked to watch a distressing film that covered a circumcision ritual alongside a soundtrack that was especially chosen to decrease the negative effect of the film, while participants watched the film with no soundtrack. Those who listened to the soundtrack reported lower stress. This suggests that when people are presented with two stimuli that could create two distinct emotional responses tend to change how they interpret the situation, which in turn alters their emotional experience.

Reappraisal is associated with long-term wellbeing, sustaining positive expression and social support (Gross, 2002; McRae, 2016). However, it is not always optimal, as it requires cognitive resources and is less effective for emotions triggered by immediate sensory cues.

Suppression, by contrast, is linked to heightened physiological reactivity, reduced positive emotion, and poorer long-term outcomes such as lower social support and less emotional sharing (Gross, 2002; Gross, 1998a; McRae, 2016). Experimental studies (facial feedback literature) show that preventing facial expressions (e.g., smiling) can decrease positive emotions like amusement and pride (Gross, 2002).

The Extended Process Model

The Extended Process Model builds on the original five strategies (situation selection, situation modification, attentional deployment, cognitive change, response modulation). But it goes further by adding three stages of regulation (Gross, 2015):

1. Identification – deciding whether to regulate.
2. Selection – deciding which strategy to use.
3. Implementation – successfully carrying out the chosen strategy.

Why do we regulate our emotions

Now, let’s think about why we regulate our emotions and what motivates us to do so. Tamir (2016) explains that people regulate their emotions to reach their desired emotional states. In addition, motives matter because they determine which emotions people want to feel, how much effort they put in, and what outcomes result. Therefore, Tamir (2016) proposes two broad categories of motives: hedonic motives and instrumental motives (Figure 2. outlines the categories).

Figure 2. Tamir (2016) taxonomy of motives in emotion regulation

Using Social Media to Regulate Emotions

Why do we use social media to manage our feelings?

1. Emotion Regulation as a Core Human Need

People use social media as a coping tool with stress, unpleasant emotions and emotional regulation (Schramm & Cohen, 2017; Iñiguez et al., 2024). Social media, being always accessible and interactive, has become one of the most available “emotion toolkits” in daily life (Wadley et al., 2020). Social media offers an accessible and fast distraction, comfort, short-term relief (Fokker et al., 2021). It is attractive to those struggling with negative emotions because it provides avoidance (escaping stress), suppression (distracting from feelings), and sometimes reappraisal (finding new perspectives).

Digital emotion regulation (DER): The integration of emotional regulation into daily life through technology. Adolescence is a critical period for emotional regulation development, with teens experiencing heightened emotions, identity exploration, and peer influence. This makes them particularly drawn to social media for emotion management (Hollenstein & Faulkner, 2024). McAlister et al. (2024) argue that adolescents’ reliance on social media for emotional regulation is natural, and instead of bans, we should help them strengthen adaptive emotional regulation strategies in digital environments.

2. Social Media as a Coping Toolkit

Social media is attractive because it condenses multiple emotional regulation strategies into one portable tool. Coping is described as strategies to manage stress, anxiety, or negative emotions.People engage in both problem-focused coping (seeking information) and emotion-focused coping (soothing or distracting) through social media (Schramm & Cohen, 2017).

Schramm and Cohen (2017) show that people use media for both problem-focused coping (e.g., searching information about a health issue) and emotion-focused coping (e.g., watching a comedy show to distract from stress). Gross’s process emotional regulation model (Wadley et al., 2020; Verma et al., 2024) can be mapped directly onto social media use:

1. Situation selection: Following accounts that inspire positivity, or avoiding platforms that trigger stress.
2. Situation modification: Using filters or editing tools to improve how one’s life appears, changing the social “situation.”
3. Attentional deployment: Distracting oneself by endless scrolling or focusing on uplifting posts.
4. Cognitive change (reappraisal): Reframing one’s struggles by reading motivational posts or seeing others with similar problems.
5. Response modulation: Expressing or suppressing feelings through posting, commenting, or keeping silent.

3. Mood Regulation and Escape

One of the major reasons and strong motives of using social media is mood regulation: people scroll, watch, or post to reduce stress, anxiety, or loneliness (Sullivan & George, 2023). During crises like COVID-19, social media became a key coping outlet — but whether it helped or harmed depended on the type of activity (sharing accurate info helped, excessive rumination increased anxiety) (Yang et al., 2020). Addicted users often rely on avoidance and suppression rather than healthier strategies, trapping them in maladaptive cycles. Instead of reappraising situations (a healthy strategy), they often rely on avoidance (using social media to escape) or suppression (pushing feelings down) (Fokker et al., 2021). This highlights that not all social media use is equal: adaptive use (sharing accurate info, engaging positively) can help, while maladaptive use (rumination, compulsive scrolling) can harm.

4. Social Sharing and Support

Another major reason we use social media is social sharing of emotions — expressing feelings to gain relief, validation, and support (Vermeulen et al., 2018). Adolescents share positive emotions publicly (Instagram, Snapchat) but express negative emotions more privately (Messenger, anonymous accounts) due to social norms and fear of judgment (Vermeulen et al., 2018). However, there are networked media that afford supportive communities and social media can be a space for social support, especially in grief, trauma, or marginalized identities (Bowman et al., 2021; McAlister et al., 2024). Social media offers platforms for identity construction and reassurance-seeking. Likes, comments, and follower counts act as external emotion regulators, directly influencing users’ moods and self-worth (Vermeulen et al., 2018).

5. Adolescents and Developmental Contexts

Adolescents today grow up in a hybrid environment where both digital (social media, texting, gaming) and non-digital (face-to-face, family, peers) contexts shape their emotional experiences. Emotions can be regulated offline or online, for example feeling jealous after scrolling Instagram (digital emotion), coping by journaling (offline), or by muting a friend’s post (online) (Hollenstein & Faulkner, 2024).  Social media affords asynchrony, distance, and anonymity, which expand emotional options (Hollenstein & Faulkner, 2024). Asynchrony is when one regulates emotions outside real time (e.g., texting when ready), distance is regulating with people anywhere in the world (from a distance), and anonymity is what allows expression without full exposure.

Social media spreads emotions quickly through hashtags or viral posts, shaping not just personal but group emotions such as #MeToo (Verma et al., 2024). Platforms act as extrinsic regulators by algorithmically amplifying emotional content (anger, outrage, joy) to maximize engagement (Wadley et al., 2020). This means that sometimes, we don’t just use social media to regulate ourselves — social media regulates us.

In what ways do we regulate emotions through social media?

One way we use social media is by choosing the time, place and platform to use it to suit our emotional needs. We seek what catches our attention, and choose how to interpret it. We can look into the ways we use social media to regulate our emotions through Gross’s process model of emotion regulation. As mentioned earlier there are five steps that we take to manage our emotions:

Situation selection — choose where and when you go onlineː

People, adolescents in particular, pick social media platforms to affect their liking, and use different platforms strategically for expressing emotions (McAlister et al., 2024; Verma et al., 2022). Use private/messaging apps for intimate venting; use communities/fandom spaces for identity and belonging; avoid high-comparison image feeds when you’re vulnerable. These actions are explained by the first step of the process model of emotional regulation. We usually choose how, when, where and why we use social media. We set time and context that fit our goals and desires (McAlister et al., 2024).  

Situation modification — change the environment to direct your emotionsː

Examples of changing the environment to direct one's emotions can be seen in unfollow or mute accounts that provoke negative comparisons or distress; follow accounts that reliably lift your mood or teach reappraisal. Situation modification reduces exposure to triggers (lessens immediate negative emotion) and increases access to mood-repair content. A study that explored how social media activities affect mental health during the COVID-19 pandemic in China found sharing positive info related to higher life satisfaction while excessive discussion increased anxiety (Yang et al., 2020).

Attentional deployment — shift your focus while onlineː

This step involves directing attention away from distressing content or unwanted content to reduce negative and unpleasant emotions. For example, when rising negative emotion is noticed, one can purposely switch from public browsing to a calming playlist or short guided breathing video, a private conversation with a trusted person, or a distraction that offers mastery (a short game/creative task) rather than endless scrolling (Verma et al., 2024).

Cognitive change (reappraisal) — change how you interpret online eventsː

Reappraisal is an adaptive emotional regulation strategy shown to reduce depression/anxiety and reduce the harmful impact of social media. It’s also a main target of therapy and computational models that simulate recovery from social-media avoidance/addiction (Verma et al., 2024; Yang et al., 2020). We can use social media as a tool for constructive reframing by reinterpreting negative comments or upsetting content. Yang et al. (2024) has shown that cognitive reappraisal protects mental health and reduces social media harms.

Response modulation — manage your behavioral reactions after emotions riseː

Controlling behavioral responses prevents online conflict, reduces negative social feedback loops, and can strengthen adaptive regulation over time (Verma et al., 2024). For example, to manage the emotion you show one can delay replying to a negative comment, or choose private venting (a trusted DM, a journal entry) rather than public posts that invite judgment; expressive sharing can give short relief but may increase depression if it becomes rumination, as studies has shown (Verma et al., 2024; Yang et al., 2020).

Social sharing and support

Another way social media is used for sharing and receiving social support. People share vulnerable feelings in private chats or moderated support groups, publish posts for positive updates or calls for help when appropriate. Adolescents strategically choose audience and context for sharing private and moderated groups as they are safer for vulnerable disclosures (McAlister et al., 2024). In addition, peer-to-peer reappraisal and brief social-media interventions reduce self-harm risk and depressive symptoms (Verma et al., 2022).

Benefits of relying on social media for emotional regulation

Relying on social media to manage and regulate emotions can have some benefits. It can provide social connectedness and reduce loneliness. For many young people, especially those marginalised, social media provides supportive communities and a sense of belonging (McAlister et al., 2024). Peer support and online groups can serve as a source of comfort, reassurance, and validation (Verma et al., 2022). It can also offer access to emotional support. Adolescents and adults can receive emotional support from peers and even strangers, which helps them reappraise situations and regulate emotions (Verma et al., 2022). Online peer-support interventions (even brief ones) have shown benefits for self-harm reduction, suicidal ideation, and depressive symptoms (McAlister et al., 2024).

Social media also facilitates identity development and self-expressions. Sharing feelings, stories, or creative content can foster meaning-making (Verma et al., 2022). Adolescents use social media for self-expression, exploration, and to build identity in safe or supportive spaces. This helps regulate emotions around self-worth and social belonging (McAlister et al., 2024). It can also be a platform for practising cognitive reappraisal — reframing negative events, seeking alternative interpretations, or consuming educational/self-help content that encourages healthier perspectives, which can reduce depression and anxiety (Yang et al., 2020).

Social media usage can increase positive emotions through content consumption. Exposure to uplifting, accurate, and supportive information on social media increases life satisfaction and lowers depression/anxiety (Yang et al., 2020). Watching entertaining videos, listening to music, or consuming humorous/motivational posts serves as distraction and mood repair (Wadley et al., 2020). It encourages mutual benefits through helping others and receiving support. Offering emotional support to peers online benefits not only the receiver but also the helper, enhancing self-worth and emotion regulation capacity (McAlister et al., 2024; Verma et al., 2022).

Risks of relying on social media for emotional regulation

With all the benefits in mind, it is important to know that relying on social media for emotional regulation has risks. Using social media as means of emotional regulation can reinforce problematic use. Using social media as a main coping strategy reinforces avoidance rather than addressing root causes, increasing the risk of dependency and maladaptive use patterns (Verma et al., 2022). Poor emotion regulation is strongly linked to problematic smartphone/social media use (PSU/PSMU), where people rely on devices compulsively for mood management (Shahidin et al., 2023; San Martín Iñiguez et al., 2024).

Self-expression on social media (venting, constant posting) was associated with higher depression in COVID-19 studies, showing that not all expression improves wellbeing (Yang et al., 2020). Maladaptive ER strategies like rumination, catastrophising, and self-blame mediated the link between distress and greater body dissatisfaction (López-Montón et al., 2024). In addition, it can fuel anxiety through endless discussions and overexposure. Excessive discussions of stressful topics (e.g., COVID-19) on social media correlated with higher anxiety and lower life satisfaction (Yang et al., 2020).

Distraction (scrolling, memes, games) can temporarily reduce distress but may promote avoidance coping if overused, leading to poorer long-term wellbeing (Wadley et al., 2020; Verma et al., 2022). Online environments can amplify judgmental, critical, or hostile exchanges, which reduce wellbeing (Yang et al., 2020). Emotional distress (anxiety, depression, stress) directly increases reliance on problematic social media use, which then feeds back to worsen distress — a maladaptive cycle (López-Montón et al., 2024). Poor regulation skills strengthen this feedback loop, reinforcing dependency and reducing emotional adequacy (Yang et al., 2020).

Conclusion

Social media has become one of the most common ways people regulate emotions in daily life. As Adam’s experience shows, scrolling through memes or posts can provide distraction and short-term relief during distress, but its long-term effects depend on how it is used. Emotion regulation is a universal human need, and social media offers an accessible toolkit: we can distract ourselves, seek connection, reframe situations, or share feelings. This makes it both powerful and risky. Used intentionally, it can strengthen social support, foster identity, and encourage positive reappraisal. Used mainly for avoidance or suppression, it risks reinforcing dependency and worsening distress.

The key message is that social media is not inherently good or bad — it is the way we engage with it that shapes outcomes. For personal growth, cultivating awareness of our motives and combining online with offline strategies allows social media to become a healthier tool for emotional regulation.

Reflective question What is emotional regulation, and how does it differ from coping? Give one example of adaptive regulation online and one maladaptive one.

See also

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_self-regulation (Wikipedia)
• Motivation and emotion/Book/2024/Digital emotion regulation

References

• Bowman, N. D., Cohen, E., & Döveling, K. (2021). Emotion and digital media: Emotion regulation in interactive, on-demand, and networked media. Routledge international handbook of emotions and media, 316-328. https://www.academia.edu/download/106483827/20._Emotion_and_Digital_Media_Emotion_Regulation_in_Interactive_On_Demand_and_Networked_Media.pdf
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• Gross, J. J. (2015). The extended process model of emotion regulation: Elaborations, applications, and future directions. Psychological inquiry, 26(1), 130-137. https://doi.org/10.1080/1047840X.2015.989751
• Hollenstein, T., & Faulkner, K. (2024). Adolescent digital emotion regulation. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 34(4), 1341-1351. https://doi.org/10.1111/jora.13009
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• McAlister, K. L., Beatty, C. C., Smith-Caswell, J. E., Yourell, J. L., & Huberty, J. L. (2024). Social media use in adolescents: bans, benefits, and emotion regulation behaviors. JMIR Mental Health, 11, e64626. https://doi.org/10.2196/64626
• McRae, K. (2016). Cognitive emotion regulation: A review of theory and scientific findings. Current Opinion in Behavioral Sciences, 10, 119-124. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cobeha.2016.06.004
• San Martín Iñiguez, L., García, E. L., Rosado Luna, E., García-Rodríguez, L., Aoiz Pinillos, M., De la Fuente Arias, J., & Morón Henche, I. (2024). Relationship between regulatory processes and problematic social media use: A systematic review. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chbr.2024.100507
• Schramm, H., & Cohen, E. L. (2017). Emotion regulation and coping via media use. The International Encyclopedia of Media Effects. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, 1-9. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Holger-Schramm/publication/314394906_Emotion_Regulation_and_Coping_via_Media_Use/links/59cb93ffaca272bb050c2605/Emotion-Regulation-and-Coping-via-Media-Use.pdf
• Shahidin, S. H., Midin, M., Sidi, H., Choy, C. L., Nik Jaafar, N. R., Mohd Salleh Sahimi, H., & Che Roos, N. A. (2022). The relationship between emotion regulation (ER) and problematic smartphone use (PSU): A systematic review and meta-analyses. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 19(23), 15848. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph192315848  
• Sullivan, B. M., & George, A. (2023). The association of motives with problematic smartphone use: A systematic review. Cyberpsychology, 17(1), 2. https://doi.org/10.5817/CP2023-1-2
• Tamir, M. (2016). Why do people regulate their emotions? A taxonomy of motives in emotion regulation. Personality and social psychology review, 20(3), 199-222. https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868315586325
• Verma, A., Islam, S., Moghaddam, V., & Anwar, A. (2024). Digital emotion regulation on Social Media. Computer, 57(6), 82-89. https://doi.org/10.1109/MC.2023.3332331
• Vermeulen, A., Vandebosch, H., & Heirman, W. (2018). # Smiling,# venting, or both? Adolescents’ social sharing of emotions on social media. Computers in Human Behavior, 84, 211-219. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2018.02.022
• Wadley, G., Smith, W., Koval, P., & Gross, J. J. (2020). Digital emotion regulation. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 29(4), 412-418. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721420920592
• Yang, Y., Liu, K., Li, S., & Shu, M. (2020). Social media activities, emotion regulation strategies, and their interactions on people’s mental health in COVID-19 pandemic. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(23), 8931. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17238931

External Links

• https://theconversation.com/why-am-i-online-research-shows-its-often-about-managing-emotions-208483 (The Conversation)
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/feel-better/202408/emotion-regulation-in-the-digital-age (Psychology Today)
• https://cybersmarties.com/social-media-and-unregulated-emotions/ (CyberSmarties)
• https://findanexpert.unimelb.edu.au/news/63121-why-am-i-online%3F-research-shows-it's-often-about-managing-emotions (The University of Melbourne)