User:Rekhaa Kale/Personality development
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[edit] Personality Development
Personality Development is the process of developing one's personality into a powerful one.
[edit] Personality
Personality is the image of a person as seen by others. This means, personality of a person is his image in the world. This is indicated by our behaviour. So, technically, our personality is the totality of our attitudes, interests, behavioural patterns, emotional responses, social roles, and other individual traits that last over long periods of time. Technically, Personality is defined as an individual’s pattern of thinking, feeling, and acting that persists across time and situations.
The word personality originated from the word persona, which stands for, what makes us recognizably the same from time to time and from place to place, our Patterns of behaviour, our characteristic pattern of thinking, feeling, and acting. The social & situational setting influences our personality, but still our strong or rigid personality traits remain consistent.
[edit] Need for Personality Development
We all are social animals & we live in society.So, we have to see ourselves in the context of society. The society, in which we live, has a defined set of social norms. These norms are the guidelines in learning how to develop a good personality. This set of norms differs from society to society. Naturally, the norms of a good personality also differ from society to society. But, a few norms are uniform. These are the norms of basic personality of any individual.
Generally, the personality norms contain social & moral values, ability to handle the adverse situations & stress, enterprise skills in a person, awareness of human duties & rights, desire & ability to handle social evils like corruption & terrorism as well as the ability to handle & manage personal, social & natural disasters. So, we must learn how to develop a powerful personality that can help us develop into a powerful & successful individual. This can be done by way of studying the simple things like, ways & patterns of behaviour to become acceptable & likable by others and by knowing the ways that are not liked & accepted by others & avoiding to follow those patterns of life.
[edit] Values
Values are the things that matter in our life. These are human, social, cultural, moral, ethical & general. Values Refer to all important beliefs. Not all values are ethical, some are neutral or non-ethical. Values are of two types, Stated & operational. Stated values indicate what we say, and Operational values indicate what we do.
As we grow up, we learn various things. The ways to behave are some of these things. These are the values. In early childhood, we learn them from our parents & senior family members. They teach us which things to do and how to do them. Then, as we start going to school, our teachers teach us some more values. Generally, the ways in which these values are taught determines how we learn them and accept them. When they are taught in dominating way and by using compulsion, we do follow them as we have no other choice, but, as soon as we get a chance to violate these rules, we simply forget about them. This clearly shows that the teaching of values as forced compulsory rules cannot be permanently effective. On the other hand, if values are taught by explaining the practical need to follow them while showing the benefit one can get by following them as well as losses one can have by violating them, we will never think of violating them. After all, everyone wants his benefits & we are well aware of losses on violation of the values!
In Indian society, values are known by the name Sanskaar. These differ from culture to culture, but the basic norms are still the same. Now as time is changing & there is greater awareness about various cultures, the Sanskaar too are getting merged and combined as per need.
In a child, the basic values that are expected are, neatness, punctuality, politeness, sensitivity, obedience, discipline & gender equality. There are many other values that a child needs to develop, but these are basic.
[edit] Types of Values
Value system is a system of values that is accepted by a person or community. One or more people can hold a value system. So, a value system applies to either one person or many. A personal value system is held by and applied to one individual only. A communal value system is held by and applied to a community/group/society. Some communal value systems can take the form of legal codes or law.
Values that we follow come to us as at of our upbringing. One is not born with values, but one is born into cultures and societies that promote, teach, and impart values. This is the reason why values followed by different people are different.
Values are of two types. These are, stated and operational. Stated values determine what we say we value and the importance we say we give to it. Operational values determine what we value as per our actions as revealed to others as well as how we make decisions and resolve conflicts when values clash.
Values are also classified in other way. We have values about our goals in life and values that create a path to them. Values about our goals are life values and values about their path are operational values. Integrity of a person is determined by the consistency seen in his stated and operational values.
Though values are integrated we have to choose between values in life. At such times, values get classified into three categories. These are core, situational and less preferred. The core values are within us and we tend to follow them anyhow. The situational values are followed only if the situation demands. Where as the less preferred values are followed only when we have no other choice but to follow them.
The table below will show what we value and what not. Knowing what isn't valued is as important as knowing what is valued. This helps us to make effective and satisfying decisions.
[edit] Life Values
Life values are the values that are about our goals in life. What we are going to achieve and how much we are going to succeed in life depends on our life values. These values generally depend on our upbringing and upon the society we are born in. for example, a child of a government servant will never dream of building a telecom company worth a few million corers, while a child of a successful actor will never think of becoming a clerk in a government office.
[edit] Core life values
Core life values are the values that are seen to exist in our inner core. Nobody has to teach us these values. We are born with them. But we are not aware of this fact. Out of life values, self-worth, adventure, wisdom, achievement, family, love and aesthetics are the basic things that we value. So, they are called core life values. Self-worth is high regard for oneself and others. It is also taken as value to our image. We give greatest value to our image. We do not like to do anything that is reducing our worth in our eyes as well as in the eyes of others. This is a personal value.
Adventure is pursuing excitement and taking risks or doing something that seems difficult. We enjoy adventure. Have you noticed that, jumping from some heights as adventure is enjoyed by kids? This attitude is inborn. This is a personal value
Wisdom is insight, knowledge, understanding and the ability to make correct judgments and decisions. When we face any situation, we know what to do and how to react. This is wisdom. It is inborn too. It differs from person to person.
Achievement is attainment of goals and aspirations. It involves the process of reaching your desired goal with courage, strength and power. We know the benefits we can get from a goal. But their achievement gives us inner happiness that enjoy. It differs from person to person on the basis of his experiences.
Family is a closed group with which we live. It involves close relations and support of loved ones. We need this for our security. This is made up of our blood relations. It gives us a standing in society. This is a social value that helps to keep stability of society.
Love is, liking someone or something beyond everything else. It is also having intimacy, devotion and warmth for those whom we like. Ideally, we must accept the loved ones as they are. But in life, we expect such love but don’t give. This is inborn desire. Yet it is a social value as it needs to be present for smooth functioning of society.
Aesthetics is the association and enjoyment of arts. It indicates one’s sense of beauty. We give great value to beauty in things and persons. We like beautiful persons & things around and love to create beauty. This desire too is inborn that differs from person to person.
[edit] Situational life values
Situational life values are the values that we have as per the situations we face. If the situations do not demand, we may not give importance to these things. This means the value of these values is lesser than the core values. We are not born with these values. The situations we get in teach us these values. Out of our life values, Health, Happiness, Fellowship, Wealth and Freedom are the situational life values.
Health is soundness of body and mind. a value that is developed out of the need to be healthy. If we are not healthy, we cannot do our work well and become a burden on others. So we must keep good health. This is a personal value.
Happiness is satisfaction, joy and contentment. It is the inner feeling of feeling good. When we have this feeling, we can not only interact well in society, but also spread our happiness among others. This is needed for us. This too is personal.
Fellowship is having important relationships with friends and the feeling of equality. The fellows are those who are equal to each other. To lead a normal life in society, we need to treat all around us as equals. So fellowship is needed. This is a social value.
Wealth is affluence, ease, prosperity and accumulated money. When we have enough money, we live happily. Knowing this, we collect and possess wealth as a need. In fact this can also be called operational value. It is personal and its definition differs from person to person.
Freedom is independence in thought, action and lifestyle. It stands for the ability to do things as per our own free will. This is the basic need of all. But it is prominent when we don’t get it & we are not happy in the way in which we have to live. This is a social value.
Community is the group of people in which we live. So, the value community indicates the activity in social or citizen groups. This protects us from many adversities and gives us a sense of security. So we need to be in a community. This is a social value. Equality is treating all on the same plane. It stands for justice and fair treatment for all. This value teaches us to give equal importance to all. When we learn it, we stop treating people differently on the basis of sex, cast, religion etc.
[edit] Less Preferred life values
Less Preferred life values are ones that we choose when they are absolutely needed. Even in normal situations, we generally try to do without them. Yet these are important values and they need to be given importance in life as they are instrumental in enriching our life. Values included in this group are: Power, Fame, Pleasure, Nature, Peace, Social Service and Spirituality.
Power is the capacity to be strong. It stands for authority, control and influence. This value is used when we have to show that we are stronger than others. To be assertive in our ways, at times, we need to use this value. This is a social value
Fame is being recognized and known for your contributions. It stands for ones powerful and good image in the society. When everything else is achieved, generally we try to get fame by way of some good deeds. Yet, this value is absolutely personal and seen only in few. Pleasure is entertainment, relaxation, fun and getting material comforts. This is value comes when all basic needs are fulfilled. When we have to choose between health & pleasure, we are sure to choose health. Still this value is personal and differs from person to person.
Nature stands for respect for animals and the environment as well as the surroundings that are developed without our direct interference. It consists of trees and animals. We enjoy their company when we have free time. This is a social value that enables us to be in harmony with nature and our surroundings.
Peace is enduring harmony and freedom from violence as well as inner rest. All need it. But it comes only when all inner confusions and conflicts are handled and removed. This is personal as well as social value. Since we are not prepared to handle both inner and outer conflicts, this value is less preferred.
Social Service is contributing to the welfare of others and serving the society. We can afford to do it only after serving ourselves and our family well. This is a social value. But since we have no material gain in social service, it isn’t preferred by all. Spirituality is going near god or being one with God. It indicates our religious beliefs. This is a difficult path. It needs to know our own reality from which many of us are running away all the life. So it is a purely personal value and real spirituality is not preferred by all.
[edit] Operational Values
Operational values are the values that are means to achieve our goals. So, behind each operational value, there is a life value. We are not always aware of this, but we are still using and following values for the same purposes. Still, out of the values that are used as means, there are some with which we are born. These are core values. Others depend on situation or some special circumstances. They are situational and less preferred values.
[edit] Core operational values
Core operational values are the core values we are born with and are used use them as means to achieve our goals. Generally, the core operational values seen in people are Creativity, Knowledge, Affection, Accountability, Drive, Autonomy and Honesty. People are seen to use them in reaching goals without any training to do so.
Let us see them in details:
Creativity is being inventive, original and innovative. It is the ability to use new ideas in doing something or achieving some goal. Everyone is creative in his own way. When we find that we cannot get the thing we desire by using the conventional methods, we try some new ways. This is creativity. It is in our core. Knowledge is being wise and scholarly. It is developed by having necessary information about something. Without knowledge it is not possible to work to achieve anything. So, before we are set to achieve any goal, we get necessary knowledge about it. This too is inborn attitude.
Affection is being passionate, loving and caring. This is the ability to express love towards others. In building good relations, this is necessary. We do not have to be trained to be affectionate. It comes from within for people who help us or support us in any way whatsoever.
Accountability is being responsible, credible and trustworthy. It is also being answerable to someone or to our action. When we do any action, we do try to explain or find out why we did it. This is accountability. Accountability has several meanings. It is often used synonymously with such concepts as answerability, responsibility, blameworthiness, liability and other terms associated with the expectation of account-giving.
Drive is the force from within that makes us act for being industrious and goal directed. Without this, doing any action is impossible. Whenever we want to do any action or achieve anything strongly, we are having a strong drive for it. Drive is an alternate name for motivation.
Autonomy means freedom from external authority. It is being self directing, self-reliant and free. Whenever we are doing any activity, we are comfortable if no one exerts his authority during the process of our working. This is the desire to get autonomy. We can perform better when we have autonomy while working. This is a core value of each person.
Honesty is being moral, ethical and truthful. This moral value teaches us the human quality of communicating in a truthful, direct, and complete manner to the best of one's knowledge and ability. Honesty may also refer to abstinence from unfair behaviour such as stealing or cheating.
[edit] Situational operational values
Situational operational values are the operational values that are seen within us out of need. There are a number of means that we use for achieving our goals. But these means are chosen as per the need most of the times. This means, if these means are not needed, we do not have to follow them.
Competency is being productive, efficient and skillful. It is the capacity to do any work with excellence. Whenever we do any work, we try to do it in the best possible way in order to get best results. This is the reason why we prefer to be competent in our work. We are born with this value, yet the capacity to be competent in any work differs from person to person.
Flexibility is being adaptable and able to change. It is the ability to adjust to the thoughts of others and the needs of the situations. If a person does not follow this value, he is not ready to change as per the need of time or situation. Then he is called rigid. Reason is the value of using rational, analytical and logical thinking. Whenever we are doing anything, the use of reason makes us know what is needed in a particular time. Then we can plan our actions well. Usually this is a core value.
Service is being supportive, aiding and assisting. This is the value that enables us to do things for others. Generally this value is followed in order to get inner satisfaction. Bu at times, when one is working for someone for earning his livelihood, this value is more important in order to get rewards in one’s work. It is a moral value.
Loyalty is being dedicated, devoted and steadfast. By following this value, we take care of the interests of the persons for whom we work. We do the things that help the person in whose interest we are working. This value is morally very important when we are working for someone.
Courage is being brave, intrepid and fearless. It stands for the capacity to have inner strength to do things that appear to be difficult. Courage is the value with the help of which we get inner strength to work. Without courage, we cannot do things that are difficult and need inner strength to do them.
Fairness is being unbiased, impartial and just. It is shown by giving equal importance to all and considering the views of all with equal care. This value teaches to consider all by giving appropriate space to everyone. It is an important moral value.
[edit] Less Preferred Operational Values
Less preferred operational values are the operational values that are followed only in absolute necessary situations. At other times, we do not rate these values as top priority.
Courtesy is being respectful, considerate and polite. This value let us have good relations with others. People always like those who have courtesy. So it is a moral value.
Humour is being lighthearted, witty and funny. It makes our heart light and enables us to enjoy every situation of life. If we do not have this, our life becomes boring. It is a core value. Order is being systematic, organized and well kept. This value helps us do things in organized way and get the best out of everything. It is a moral value.
Tolerance is being open, accepting and patient. This value helps us to take others as they are and deal with them well. This is a moral value in the interest of social harmony and peace. Discipline is being controlled, composed and focused. This helps us to have proper order in our life and its priorities. It is a core value.
Forgiveness is being able to excuse and let go. This helps us to tolerate the persons whom we do not like or whose acts hurt us. Many times, we do not like what others do, but we have to keep interacting with them. At such times, this moral value proves to be helpful.
Obedience is being compliant, deferential and yielding. This value teaches us to take instructions from seniors and follow them. It is a moral value.
