Overall this is a promising draft so far, with lots of detailed and interesting information. The main areas to improve are to reduce the overall length, separate the examples from the main body, shorten overly long paragraphs. The introduction and conclusion need to work on establishing the key foci for the chapter. Make it clear in each section how it addresses the chapter's stated aims.
I started separating the Liz and Ben example from the body text - it is a really good ideas to have a rich example like this, but I think it will work better if you run the example in separate side-boxes. I suggest do something similar throughout - makes it easier for a reader to digest.
Avoid overly long paragraphs - generally, 3 to 5 sentences is a good paragraph length.
Self-concept motivates emotions - is this heading accurate? (I think it could better reflect the content) (you only need to relate self-concept to motivation - not emotions. So, maybe simplify.)
is self-concept seen here as motivating emotions - or just causing them? Do the cognitions causes emotions then cause motivation? Try to explain a bit more how this section connects with the overall topic (are there focus questions to be answered?). Or perhaps this is a bit of a side detour here?
I think this might work better if you have the pop songs and related commentary in a separate side box and then have a short section which focuses on relevant theory and research (with citations).
Self-Discrepancy Theory: In Focus - I'd suggest running this in a sidebox too, running down the page with the theory/research content next to it (as for the previous sections).
Self-Discrepancy + Possible selves = almost 2000 words! (Self-esteem is another 700 words). I didn't read all of this - I get the sense that it could be abbreviated. What is the focus question you are trying to answer? Explain this question first and why it's important - then provide an answer drawing on and explaining relevant theory and research, with an example in a sidebox.
Self Determination Theory could be relevant in many places here - e.g., the need for competence relates to self-discrepancy and possible selves
Self-Evaluation Maintenance Model - there was no previous announcement of this model or particularly flow/connection. As you redraft make sure to set up in your introduction what the key questions and topics are going to be and why the chapter focuses on these ones in particular.
May be of interest: Showers, C. J., Abramson, L. Y., & Hogan, M. E. (1998). The dynamic self: How the content and structure of the self-concept change with mood. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 478-493.
Well done on advancing this draft. It is already a significant and substantial work. I've looked quickly through it again - my rough sense is this is DI-quality with potential for higher. Feedback below:
Shaping up nicely, I gave it a tweak.
Explain or link to info about those two types of well-being.
Check the link at the end.
Add an overview of the focus questions the chapter seeks to address
Boxes - I like these; simple, clear interesting. I'd probably increase their widths a bit (it will look different on different screens - here they are a bit narrowly squished).
Definitions - Rich and useful; well done
How Does the Self-Concept Develop? onwards - the rest of this content is substantial, interesting, and well referenced with clear focus on theory. The main areas to work on are
flow and integration between the sections (e.g., by explaining the focus questions in the introduction and the intro/conclusion to each section.
My other main suggestion is to as much as possible keep drawing the connection and relevant to motivation (in all sections).
Where possible, keep the overall length shorter - not a big deal and I know this is hard. But for one other chapter I've suggested putting some related but supplementary material into subpages (but their draft was much longer).
Since the chapter is already quite substantial I'd be inclined to have relatively short sections for "Do Self-Concepts Vary Across Cultures?" and "How Stable is the Self-Concept and Why is Stability Important?" - these are important topics for self-concept, but probably not as important as How does SC develop and how can it be changed for this chapter. If some whole sections were to be left out (an option) then it would be these two sections - or they could be treat them as supplementary topics.
The pop-songs are useful - leave them in - but I would just separate them out of the main text body into a separate box (as you've done)
I think there is some literature about different types of self-discrepancy, although a lot focuses on actual-ideal. I'm not how different actual-ought discrepancies would be from actual-ideal discrepancies - they sound quite similar to me.
Keep the self-maintenance model but yes, make it clear in the intro/conclusion how it connects in with the focus questions and rest of the content - and draw connection with motivation.
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Congratulations. This is a very impressive chapter. It is long, but it has been very well developed, from plan to draft to final draft with feedback sought and addressed along the way. Importantly the chapter does an excellent job covering relevant theory and research in an indepth and well-illustrated way. In so doing, the chapter addresses the underlying question about the relation between self-concept and motivation.
I've made only very minor edits to improve the chapter.