Talk:Motivation and emotion/Textbook/Emotion/Sport

From Wikiversity
Jump to: navigation, search

Feedback[edit]

I've had a look over the draft the to date - good on you for getting this up and inviting comment. Overall, my main comments are to work on a stronger introduction (probably with focus questions), introductions to the main body sections, and a stronger summary conclusions (what are the answers to the key questions). This should hopefully help to tighten and narrow the focus. The second main area for improvement is to scrub out anything plagiarised and write in your own words. See below for some other more detailed comments:

  1. Introduction
    1. The chapter could benefit from developing the Introduction and particular some clear aims and/or focus questions.
    2. I guess there might be at least two aspects of sport, exercise and emotions to consider - antecedent emotions (i.e., emotions before exercise/sport) and emotional responses to participation. The overall structure reflects the responses part, but perhaps less so the antecendent emotions.
    3. You may wish to clarify and distinguish between sport and exercise (or perhaps refine the chapter to only one of these and emotion).
  2. Theories
    1. I think it makes sense to structure the first main body section by theory, but some more general introduction to the theory section could help a reader - what are these theories for and why have these particular ones been selected?
    2. At least some of the theory content appears to be plagiarised e.g., from http://psychology.about.com/od/cindex/g/cannonbard.htm - such content should be removed ASAP or used appropriately within attributed quotations. Otherwise, only present content that you have independently written. (Hint: A tell-tale sign is lack of citations - and citations without references.)
  3. APA style
    1. Direct quotes also need page numbers e.g., (Fehr & Russell, 1984)

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:36, 3 November 2010 (UTC)


Chapter feedback

This textbook chapter has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see what editing changes I have made whilst reading through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below or continuing to improve the chapter if you wish. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

Wikiuutiset logo typewriter.png

Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a solid, CR-level chapter. Coverage of theories was the strength, with considerable scope evident and critical thinking. Some integration of theory is evident. There is reasonably good embedding of relevant research. The quality of written expression was the main area for improvement.

Theory[edit]

  1. Very good coverage of the range of theories. The initial use of examples was promising, although in some cases could have been developed further to better illustrate the theory. A bit more of an overview of which theories were to be covered and why would have helped.
  2. What about the emotion of sport fans?

Research[edit]

  1. The chapter makes reasonably good use of relevant research and points to where further research needs to be conducted. Perhaps more studies could have been included though e.g., in a feature box to highlight evidence about the importance of emotion in sport.
  2. When describing important research findings, try to indicate the size of effects rather than simply whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit]

  1. The writing style was straightfoward and engaging, although some more drafting and proofreading could have improved the overall quality.
  2. Excellent use of diagrams, including correct uploading and licensing - congratulations. Images were well captioned, although APA style could have been used (e.g., Figure 1, Figure 2 etc.)
  3. Good use of introduction and summary, although these could have been a bit more indepth.
  4. Use of inter-wiki leaks was excellent.
  5. Spelling, grammar and proofreading needed greater attention.
  6. In-text citations should be in alphabetical order


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

Multimedia.png

Overall[edit]

  1. Well done, this is a solid presentation.
  2. The audio was loud was clear.
  3. Good pausing between slides and key points and reasonable intonation.
  4. Excellent explanation of emotion and key emotion theories.
  5. No images? All text-based.
  6. Well-structured.
  7. The main area for improvement is probably with regard to content - quite a lot was said about basic emotion theories whereas it might have been stronger to summarise this part more briefly to allow more concentration on emotion in sport (e.g., more comment about research and applications?)
  8. Very good summary, excellent licensing and conclusion.

Structure and content[edit]

Communication[edit]

Production quality[edit]

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:57, 14 December 2010 (UTC)