A yogi life
This is the story of Yogi Nils, who lives in Germany in a small hut in a wood. He wrote a lot of articles in the german and english Wikipedia. He is a yoga teacher and started in the 1960s working for a world of love and peace.
- 1 First Great Love
- 2 Nils and Evelyn
- 3 Nils, the University Student
- 4 Rock and Roll
- 5 Exams
- 6 Lawyer
- 7 Angelika, the Vacation-Flirt
- 8 Liselotte with the Man-problems
- 9 Yogi Nils
- 10 Petra, the Artist
- 11 Sitting, Walking, and Cognitive Work
- 12 The Organic Woman
- 13 Yoga Teacher
- 14 The Sex Goddess
- 15 Master Yoga
- 16 The Yoga Woman
- 17 Dissolving the Relationship-Addiction
- 18 Interview of a Psychology Student
- 19 Enlightenment and God
- 20 Hatha Yoga Pradipika
- 21 The Path of Love
- 22 Satsang
- 23 Sun Meditation
- 24 See also
First Great Love
The year was 1968. In Germany, the student movement had begun. University students demonstrated for peace, love, and democracy. It was a time where the ideals and values of the western world had started to change. Even high school students began to organize and hold school-based demonstrations. Nils was involved in the midst of it. He was a socialist at the time, which for him meant that he wanted all people to live in peace with one another. He wanted a world where riches and luxury are shared fairly and that all people have enough to eat. He wanted to change the world. On his backpack he had written, in big letters, “ Make Love Not War!”
On a personal level though, Nils still had some difficulties regarding love. He still didn't have a girlfriend. But that changed in 1970. Nils was now 18 years old. During the summer break, an international youth meet took place in Berlin, which included social work, meetings, conversations, and a lot of parties. Nils made his way to Berlin.
Young people from all over Germany flooded into Berlin in the summer of 1970. As the spirit of things was that all people are free, the same, in a brotherly sense, they all slept together on air mattresses in the same room. Boys and girls, group leaders and group participants all shared the same space.
The group leaders were called Teamers. Nils developed a crush on a female team leader named Helga. She was a student in university and wanted to earn some money toward school.
Nils was a pragmatic person. He wished for a long term relationship. There were a lot of friendly and attractive women at the youth meet. There were several good-looking French women. But there were only two women from Hamburg, the city where Nils lived. One of the ladies was not a good match for Nils. So Nils went for the other lady. That wasn't so very easy, because Nils was still in high school and Helga was a highly respected university student. But Nils was clever and smooth. He struck up laid-back conversations that made it obvious that he found Helga likable and friendly.
Really, it wasn't that difficult. Helga didn't have a boyfriend, and there were plenty of parties providing the opportunity to get to know each other better. Every evening there was some event. With candles and red wine, and mattresses to sit on, there was good music, and lots of fascinating conversation. Discussions were on topics like politics, about the state of things between men and women, and thounsands of other interesting things.
Helga thought it was wonderful how she could easily talk about psychology and politics with Nils. Nils had the ability to see things very clearly and always seemed to know where things were headed. Helga didn't know at all. She was lost in the tangled web of the many psychological and political theories. She enjoyed the fact that Nils always had a clear point of reference to present. Nils knew so much. He had thought about everything thoroughly and had confidently found his own line of thinking, all of that although he wasn't yet in university.
Despite all of that Nils was rather inexperienced regarding love between men and women. Here, Helga was at an advantage, and had much to contribute. It was a highly dynamic connection. Romantic tension was in the air.
Helga and Nils got closer and closer to one another. They were mutually attracted to one another. When night came, they put their mattresses next to each other. Nils lay down under Helga's blanket, and they began to kiss and so on. Then Helga felt like having sex. Nils wasn't exactly sure how to go about that, but with some help it worked out well enough.
The dance began. Every night they slept on Helga's mattress. A large amount of love energy developed between the two. Nils thought Helga was wonderful. She was the most beautiful and amazing being on the earth.
The days passed by in a daze of love and music. Nils opened his heart chakra so wide, that he entered a dimension of all-encompassing love and happiness. Everything was full of light, and Nils had his first enlightenment experience which lasted for days.
Nils noticed his special state of consciousness for the first time as he went into the subway in Berlin. Before that time, he had concentrated completely on Helga and hadn't noticed anything else. Then, in the subway, Nils came to a relaxed state of observation where he noticed the world around him. It seemed so different from before, the whole world was full of light. The whole subway was full of light.
Those who are enlightened see the energy waves of God in the world. The enlightened one sees this as lighte, and at the same time a feeling of unity with the entire world emerges. One is in harmony with the self and the world. The enlightened person is happy from a deep place. The world is full of light, love, and harmony.
Everything in the world radiates from itself. Everything is experienced in a very intense way. In Yoga, there are many tales of enlightened persons who can not get enough of just looking at the new beauty found in the world. This was how Nils felt at the time. He was full of amazement and joy to observe the light in the world, whenever he wasn't paying attention to Helga.
Nils and Helga weren't the only couple at the youth meet. There were many couples, in fact. There were many people who had their first experiences with love and were intoxicated with the intensity of their feelings. The statement “Make Love Not War” was taken very seriously. People were constantly talking about and making love there.
After Nils and Helga had spent three weeks full of love and happiness in Berlin, they travelled together back to Berlin. Helga had a small student apartment in the middle of Hamburg. This became the second home of Nils, as they met often and talked about various topics of Helga's life. They listened to good music and made love in Helga's large bed. Most of the time, Nils went to Helga's directly after school. Then they embraced happily and talked more, and made love more.
Helga's parents had a house on the North Sea island Sylt. Nils and Helga spent a wonderful week together there. Helga introduced Nils to her parents. Helga and Nils took walks on the beach, made love in the dunes and partied in Helga's little room. Life consisted only of going for walks and sex. Nils could have continued forever that way. But he had to go back to school and Helga had to return to university.
There were days where they couldn't meet. On such days, they wrote lengthy messages full of longing to one another. “My dear Nils. Many kisses. It's horrible that you aren't here. I wish that you could always be with me. I like you so very much.- Helga”
“My dear Nils. I am still very excited and happy about the card and beautiful flowers you sent. They are playing “Revolution” by the Beatles on the radio. Yesterday, I went to the cinema, where I cried a lot. I probably just wanted that you were there with me. “
“By the way, I've been very relieved since yesterday. I wanted to go to the doctor, because I had convinced myself I felt sick in the morning. Right after that I felt sick again. Some clothes of mine are starting to feel tight around the waist. But I've just discovered it was all only a false alarm.”
“My dear Nils. You know that I just wish you were here with me. It must be very difficult for you when I seem to change my mind and feelings so often. Often it's just that I take out aggressions onto you that are just the result of me being dissatisfied with myself. Every time I'm so mean to you, I feel bad afterwards. I'm so sorry, and love you. Your Helga.” Helga was a very emotional woman.
“My dearest Nils, I feel so alone. Whatever I look at, I only see my inability to work consistently and systematically. I would like to call you, but in the same moment I know that is no use. It's no use when I always look for help from others. I have to find my way myself, I have to develop strength in myself. I don't want to end up in an endless cycle, in that I will just get more and more dependent on you.” Helga was looking for her own way. The ideal of the student movement, was the ideal of an independent, self-confident and emancipated woman.
Helga experimented with Free Love. In a pub, she met another man and slept with him. This way wasn't for Nils, though. It hurt him too much. After some dramatic discussions and reconciliations, they broke up.
For Helga, a long time of chaotic relationships had begun. After some fifteen years, Nils and Helga met by coincidence in a department store. Helga was pushing a baby carriage. She said “at some point, it has to go wrong once with contraception.”
Nils needed a long time to get over the loss of Helga. He fell into a black hole of depression. The relationship had lasted 8 months. Afterwards, Nils was very sad for half a year. He needed a total of 12 years to overcome the pain of losing Helga. At that point he had a dream, in which he let go of Helga. After that, he was somehow freed from missing his first big love.
After splitting up with Helga, Nils had the feeling that he needed a happy relationship in order to have a happy life. Without a close relationship, he felt empty inside. Nils was lacking the wisdom of inner happiness at the time. He didn't know that through spiritual exercise you can get rid of dependencies upon other people. He didn't know that you can find happiness within yourself. He didn't know the way of spiritual self- development yet. So he quickly started to search for a new girlfriend.
In a discotheque, he met Marion. Marion was small and had long brown hair. She worked as a book keeper for a construction company. There were a lot of men who worked there, who wanted her. But Marion was not interested in typical construction workers. She admired sensitive intellectuals. A girlfriend of hers had a university student as a boyfriend. Marion wanted such a boyfriend as well.
Nils appeared at exactly the right time. He was still a high school student, but he looked like a university student. He talked like a university student. He talked about psychology, leftist politics and about saving the world. Marion was very impressed. She took Nils home right on the first evening.
Marion lived with a girlfriend of hers in a little apartment in the middle of Hamburg. Her roomate was not home at this time, which proved very convenient. Nils and Marion got right down to business. They didn't waste much time with any clever conversation. Nils kissed Marion. Marion kissed Nils. She showed Nils her bed. Then they took off their clothes.
Now Nils was impressed. Marion had a great body. It was just as beautiful as he could have imagined. Marion let Nils touch her breasts. Then there was no more fuss, they slept together. Now the world was right again for Nils. He wasn't as in love with Marion as he was with Helga, but he was satisfied. He had what he needed to be happy.
And Marion was happy too. They met often. They made love often. Conversations were the only somewhat difficult thing. Marion came from the working class. She saw things simply and directly. Nils tended to see things differentiated and in a more complicated way. A longer conversation was barely possible. Nils could also easily talk to himself. But he sometimes wished for more resonance.
Nils was glad that he had found a more solid character in a girlfriend after Helga. Marion was much more stable, she was simple, clear and trustworthy. The relationship could have lasted, if only a small sexual problem hadn't appeared between them.
They should have talked about this problem, then they could have solved it. But they couldn't talk about it. They weren't practiced in the art of positive communication as a couple.
They were both too shy to directly address the problem. When you can't talk about conflicts in a relationship, then even little problems can turn into large problems. You break apart over the little things that would actually be really easy to handle. You lose a relationship that would otherwise have a good chance for the long run.
Couples' therapists say that two thirds all separations could be avoided if only the couple had learnt a positive outlook for their relationship. At best this should be learnt in school before one tries to establish a relationship. But happiness isn't a subject in school either. That is a large error on the part of the currently dominant cultural politics.
So the relationship of Nils and Marion also ended. They separated, and were very sad because they were actually a rather good match.
Nils and Evelyn
Nils met Evelyn in a dance club in 1971. Evelyn had blond hair and large breasts. Nils paid more attention to the outer appearance than the inner quality of women back then. Evelyn’s looks were very much to his liking. Evelyn was searching for happiness in the context of a relationship. She was searching for the man of her dreams. For a time, she thought Nils could be just that man. Nils also tried to fulfill this expectation, but became overwhelmed after a time when attempting to live up to Evelyn’s idea of a perfect relationship. It’s hard to believe, but Nils wasn’t perfect. He was particularly inattentive when it comes to external things, and that annoyed Evelyn after a time.
Evelyn studied to become a foreign language correspondent. She had a difficult family life growing up as her parents had constantly quarreled with one another. She wanted love, affection, and a feeling of security. She hoped to find these things with Nils that she had lacked in her family and herself. Evelyn visited Nils often. They went dancing together, talked a lot, and were affectionate and physical with one another. After a half a year, they had sex for the first time, then again and again and more and more often. They wrote love letters to one another. A particularly lovely sentence from Evelyn read, “life is like a strong current. Everyone tries to hold oneself above water. Many do this alone, and others have someone they can hold onto. That is a wonderful gift.”
In their first year together, Evelyn and Nils were very much in love. That is normal. In the second year, they weren’t quite so smitten. That is also normal. In the third year, they began to fight a lot. That is unfortunately also quite normal in today’s world. Evelyn and Nils noticed that their relationship had reached a critical phase. They recognized that they had come to a turning point and that something needed to be done. That was no easy task. Many couples first wake up to the reality of their situation when they first fully recognize the negativity that has rised between them. Then it is often too late to do anything about it. Those who can change their relationship dynamic in time, can often hold onto a long term happy relationship. But what exactly is the way to attain this long term happy relationship?
Evelyn and Nils tried to communicate better. They bought books about positive relationships and worked through these books together, but it didn’t help much. The center of their difficulties lay with the fact that Evelyn expected Nils to live up to the demands she placed on him to be the man of her dreams. She expected him to make her happy on a deep level. Evelyn did not search for this happiness within herself. Those who cannot find happiness within themselves, need a partner to fill this void. Those who cannot be independently happy need extra happiness from the partner and often therefore overwhelm their partner with such a heavy burden. Evelyn and Nils didn’t know the way to achieve a happy relationship. A relationship often tends to be a sort of dependency, where those involved expect something from the other. They want love, sex, affection, security. When the relationship depends on wanting, the feeling of love becomes cramped and a constant power struggle ensues. The person who can fight the best gets the most. Love doesn’t stand a chance in such a situation.
In the beginning of a relationship, the constant need for love is normal. When the relationship becomes long term, it must be based on a more spiritual foundation. The basis of the relationbship needs positive characteristics such as wisdom, love, peace, and thoughtfulness. We need to anchor ourselves in a goal of inner happiness and not expect the partner to provide happiness. Often, we depend on outer happiness instead of looking for it within. We must find this within in order to provide positive thinking and a love based on giving. When we can live our relationship destinies out in such a way, we can be happy in the long term. We can grow in happiness and in love. A sort of love addiction burns out after a time. A love based on giving is true love and can grow without bounds. A pure heart chakra can open the individual up to the highest plain of enlightenment, until we are only love itself, and as such live love and radiate love into the world.
The way of superficial happiness is based on the tendency to expect to be happy through another person. This is the way of “addiction”. This means it is only destined to end in failure. Those who expect happiness from others will only be disappointed. At some point in time, the “honeymoon” phase is over and both people will revert to their usual tendencies. Most people blame the partner for their lack of happiness. They begin to fight or to draw back in frustration. We need to overcome this faulty philosophy of superficial happiness. Then we can live in long term happy relationships. Evelyn got her ideas about the perfect relationship from Hollywood. Nils based his ideas on the psycho-analytic theories of Sigmund Freud. Both of these notions were incorrect and lead to unhappiness. Most actors , who live in the world of film, have unhappy relationships and split up constantly. The same goes for psychologists. The best relationships are to be had by those who care for the relationships with spirituality.
Instead of exercising positive thinking, Evelyn concentrated on Nils’ personality flaws. A spiritual person busies him or herself only with his or her own flaws and concentrates on the positive characteristics of others. The Yoga greeting “namaste” means: “the light in me recognizes and bows to the light in you”. Those who see positivity in others thereby awaken their own happiness. Those who fixate on negativity strengthen the negativity in themselves. Evelyn saw the negative traits of Nils and this often enraged her. In the third year of their relationship, they had intense fights. Nils tried to understand what was going on. The sweet Evelyn had turned into a not so sweet individual. At some point, Evelyn began to see other men and Nils search for another woman. The happy fairytale came to a sad end.
Nils, the University Student
In early 1973, Nils graduated from high school. Now all roads were open to him. Which way should he take in his life? Nils thought about it throughly. He felt deep within that three things were important for him. He wanted a good relationship, he wanted to work for happiness for all people, and he saw the necessity of working on his inner happiness.
After a long consideration period, he came to the conclusion that law was the right course of study for him. He signed up for the University in Hamburg. During his entire course of study he engaged very intensively in student politics. He was a student representative, president of the student parliament and a social welfare officer. He held many speeches, distributed many flyers and took part in many demonstrations.
He had inherited a little house on the edge of Hamburg from his grandparents. He moved in with his friends Jochen and Norbert. Jochen was a quiet person, who studied socialogy and supported Amnesty International. Norbert wanted to be a teacher and made music with a band. Together they were the three glorious scoundrels. They argued often, but also had a lot of fun together.
And there was also a cat. He caught mice and took many field trips into the forest. Somewhere there lived some nice female cats who visited the male cat from time to time. Otherwise he lazily lay in bed the entire time.
Nils took as much time as necessary for his studies. Many of his fellow students quit their courses. Nils made it with everything. He hardly noticed that he studied. He was almost totally wrapped up in his political ideas.
In addition to law, Nils also studied sociology, politics, and economics. He wanted to know everything that seemed important to him. He used his studies as a way to expand his general span of knowledge. He tried to understand things from the big picture. This approach also helped him later along his spiritual path.
After their studies, life sent the three friends in entirely different directions.
When Norbert was finished with his studies, unfortunately no teachers were needed. He went with the sign of the times and became a programmer. He was good in his profession, but had a hard time getting along with his bosses. So he wandered from company to company. Sometimes he was unemployed.
One day, Norbert met a nice woman. They got married and they were not happy. They began to argue more and more after a few years and separated. That's how the fairy tale ends for many couples in today's world. After that, Norbert wandered from company to company, but also from woman to woman.
And what did Jochen do? He didn't talk about happiness. He lived it. Jochen was a person who loved life. And life loved Jochen. Jochen followed the desire principle, he went for what he wanted. He didn't make any big plans.
Normally, the way of recklessness ends in suffering. Those who don't think about life and make plans fall into many traps. Such a person lives out his wants to the point where he or she is one day a victim of their addiction to enjoyment. Such a person works to hard and ends up burnt out. Those who don't live wisely in today's difficult modern times will use themselves up quickly and end up suffering. Then life shows its “sad face”.
Jochen only saw the smiling face of life. He did the dumbest things, but always landed on his feet. He lived in chaos and everything was fine. He didn't make any wise plans and life planned everything wisely for him.
For Nils, it was the reverse. Whenever he didn't plan well, he would be confronted with suffering. Life forced him to live wisely so he could keep suffering and sadness at bay and develop himself in a positive way.
Nils observed Jochen's lifestyle with amazement, until he one day he learnt about the concept of karma through his studying of Yoga. Then he understood the seemingly strange occurrences of Jochen's life.
Jochen wasn't just a person who liked to have fun, he was a good person. He had a big heart for his fellow man. He loved to do good things for other people. He worked for Amnesty International for many years. He looked out for politically oppressed people and often contributed to their freedom. He engaged himself in the worldwide enforcement of human rights.
Jochen did many good deeds and got a lot of good things out of life in return. It seemed mysterious, the way the cosmos sent Jochen constant good fortune. The cosmos concerned themselves with Jochen's life plans even, since Jochen didn't hold up to the task. Jochen was always in luck.
Jochen had studied sociology, and couldn't really find anything on the job market with that. But when Jochen was done with that field of studies, a training to be a computer specialist was offered. He was successful in his profession.
He met a nice woman, they got married and established a family and had a happy life. There was often a lot of chaos with Jochen, but that always turned out well in the end.
It even came to the point where a large picture of Jochen the very happy man was printed in a large German newspaper. The text under the photo told of Jochen and his life and how happy he was. He was especially happy to have sex twice a week with his wife.
Norbert found it unfair that Jochen had all the luck in life. He cut the article out and sent it to Nils. Nils wasn't particularly impressed. He wrote back to Norbert “enlightenment is greater than sex. Sex is just short-term happiness. Enlightenment means lasting happiness. Material enjoyment is small happiness, and enlightenment is great happiness in life. Jochen is only catching small fish. A person with clear understanding manifests the most significant in life. Wisdom lives!”
Norbert wasn't entirely convinced. He felt pulled in many directions. He wasn't sure if he wanted enlightenment or a wonderful woman in bed. Actually, he wanted both, but in reality neither worked out.
When Norbert stopped and considered his life, he realized he had already had many wonderful women. Just not for long. But that's how it is with material happiness. Material happiness doesn't exist permanently. Even for Jochen, the time would come where he had to bid farewell to his great sex life.
Norbert wanted to be enlightened,but he didn't feel like working hard on himself for a number of years. He wanted to book enlightenment at a weekend seminar. This is how it is presented in the west. There are a lot of business-hungry gurus out there. So Norbert was as unenlightened after every spiritual workshop as he was beforehand.
There is quick enlightenment, but only for people who have already worked toward this for many years intensively. When the inner conflicts and tension have been worked away, then just a little push in the right direction can lead to a big breakthrough. Great yogis can become enlightened in just five minutes. Little yogis have to work a long time for this.
Rock and Roll
Rock and roll is a wild dance. A couple has to harmonize well with one another to accomplish this dance. Rock and roll is like life. A man and woman have to adjust to one another so life in the relationship works out. They have to be a good team. Rock and roll comes from the fifties. It was very popular still at the time of the student movement.
The Rock and roll queen was called U. Nils danced a long dance with her. They stayed together for twelve years. At the University of Hamburg they took part in a rock and roll course. Nils spun U through the air and picked her up again. That functioned very well at the time. Later on, the relationship dance became more difficult. It was more U who threw Nils into the air. And Nils didn't always land softly on his feet.
It all started during a ski trip. Nils worked as a ski instructor. Right after arrival, the participants hit the slopes. The sun shone and snow lay on the steep peaks. The air was cold and clear. There stood Nils, the radiant hero, and before him his ski group, which was mostly composed of women. Nils showed the ladies some elegant ski moves, and they were all excited.
U was in the beginner group, whereas Nils taught the more advanced. But he observed the women in the other ski groups. Where was the right girlfriend for him? Nils was searching for his dream woman. He noticed U because she was so cute and pretty.
In the evening, on the dance floor, Nils made his move on U. He asked her for a dance. U was so distant. As Nils had given up though, she suddenly kissed him. Just like that, in the middle of the dance floor without warning.
Then it went as it had to. They kissed further on the dance floor, and then in the closet. They stood between many coats and kissed for hours. There two souls had found one another. Both were full of longing for love and affection. Both were searching for the man and the woman for life. Both noticed they fit rather well together.
U and Nils came home from the ski vacation very happy. U had found her dream man and Nils had kissed his fairy tale princess awake. Or was it the other way around. At any rate, the birds began to sing, bells began to ring, and the sun shone without interruption. If the sun hadn't shone once, U and Nils hadn't noticed.
Nils showed U his little house near the woods. There she was greeted by Jochen, Norbert and the little cat with fascination. U didn't much like Norbert, she didn't like macho-men. But she liked Jochen very much, and the cat too of course.
Nils and U went on long bike trips through the woods. They paddled the canoe on the little river which flowed past the yard. They went on picnics in the sunshine in a meadow among many colorful flowers. They loved a lot and could converse very well with one another. They were a dream couple.
U lived in a little student dormitory in the middle of the city. There was a lot of partying there with red wine, candles and loud music. They often listened to Irish music. U loved Irish folklore and music. A friend of hers knew a man from an Irish music group.
The main topic of interest in U's dormitory was good food. There were many dinner parties which were prepared days in advance. Everyone tried to outdo the other in terms of their cooking skills. That was a lot of fun. Less fun was the dish washing. Dishes often lay for days in the sink, until all of the inhabitants of the house saved the dishes from their fate of remaining dirty forever.
Nils can recall one particular occasion very well. It was his and U's turn to cook, which normally would take a long time. They didn't feel much like cooking, as they were busy with other things. They decided to cut corners so it would go more quickly.
They went to the supermarket and bought ready made dishes. They changed the dishes with small additional ingredients so the food looked homemade. It even tasted like homemade! The entire group of college students loved it.
In the shared apartment, U had a large room with a bed and an old woodstove. There was extra space in her bed. Nils shared the bed once they knew each other for three months. In the beginning that was very cozy, but after a time they bought a double bed instead.
The time of the three glorious rascals was now over. The young bachelor pad near the forest dissolved. Jochen moved in with his girlfriend as well, and Norbert moved into a different apartment, taking the cat with him.
The house was used as a weekend house for Nils and U. U discovered her love of gardening. She turned the entire property into a sea of flowers.
After a year in the student apartment, Nils and U searched for their own apartment. The wild student days were nearing their end. Exams were in sight. Nils gave up many political positions and dedicated himself to studying for exams.
During their relationship, U and Nils went on many trips. U loved to travel. They traveled to Spain, Portugal, Greece, Finland and France.
In Greece, they camped at the edge of an abandoned fruit orchard. The Mediterranean sea softly splashed ashore nearby the tent, and the sun shone everyday. The grill sizzled. It was paradise. The figs, oranges, and grapes grew so close by, it was like they grew into your mouth. In the evening, they went to a nearby fisher village where they ate at a lovely restaurant with many delicious and affordable dishes.
In Finland, it rained often. The many mosquitos annoyed U a lot. Sleeping in the car wasn't much fun, and they didn't feel like sex all the time anymore either. Nils was frustrated. He had imagined vacation differently. But everything can't work out all the time in life.
Nils and U went to France with three couples who where friends of theirs. It was a fun and amusing time. They talked a lot, laughed a lot, and went swimming quite often. They played games on the beach and lazed about. Sometimes they bought mussels, melon, cheese, and French bread at the market. In the evening, they went to restaurants together and tried the various local dishes. In France, the trip ended on a very friendly and happy note.
After the France trip, the women started a women's group and the men started a men's group. Women's liberation was and important topic in the western world at that time. Everywhere, women's groups shot up out of the ground. They demanded the same rights for everyone, women power, better men, and most of all sitting while peeing. The men were nervous.
The women's group was very good for the ladies. It gave them energy, many important impressions, and mutual encouragement. The women could converse well about their feelings and they developed a feeling of solidarity.
The men had it difficult with their men's group. They sat there and didn't know what they should talk about. They didn't want to talk about their feelings, but that was something they never really had done. They talked bout politics, women, and cars instead. But that was not the point of the men's group. The men were also supposed to emancipate themselves. It was thought at the time, that men should also take on more feminine ideals. They should let go of any macho behavior, contribute more to household chores, show their feelings, and engage themselves more in their relationships.
The women's group lasted many years. The men's group dissolved after a relatively short time.
Most relationships at that time broke. Most men couldn't come to terms with the new rolls. Today, it continues to be difficult even so many years after the student movement. Men want to be served by women and women expect a partner who divides the work.
Nils and U solved the emancipation problem their own way. They had a child. Florian was born in 1980. Now other ideals had to take centerstage. Now the child was the center of attention of the relationship. The question of women's emancipation disappeared into the background. The discussions centered around raising children and the organization of the daily life of the family.
Florian kept his parents busy from morning until evening. In the first two years of his life he screamed a lot. His parents were constantly under stress. What did the child need now? How could they calm him down?
During the day, Nils carried his son in a baby backpack around the area. Florian liked this and was quiet and calm during this time. Then Nils could do his health- walks. At night, U slept next to Florian. He was also quiet and calm then. There wasn't sex for Nils much anymore though, this was difficult for him to get used to.
Nils learned to change diapers. He cooked baby porridge and spent many hours at the playground. He played with tiny cars in the sand with his son, and they built sandcastles. Nils had more time as a law clerk than other fathers. He shared the responsibility of taking care of Florian with U. U was happy she could rest often.
When Florian was two years old, he stopped screaming. He could now say what he wanted. It was as simple as that. U and Nils could breathe easily again. But not for long. They started a parent group to relieve their burdens. But they had even more work than before.
There was endless discussion about the correct methods to raise children and problems of adults. Nils and U went from the student movement to the alternative parents' scene.
U took on leadership of the family as mother. That is also what many other emancipated women did. It was a comfortable situation for Nils. He could give up a large portion of his responsibility. But it was also a trap. U had the main power in the family and Nils slid into a child role. U suddenly had two children, and she tried to raise both of them. Nils didn't like that much. He defended himself against the attempts to tell him how to behave, and many arguments resulted.
An important task of Nils' was to put Florian to bed every night. He did that gladly because he could meditate a bit t the same time. Florian always fell asleep well, he could feel the energy of calm radiating from Nils.
When Florian was four years old, Nils discovered the spiritual importance of German fairy tales. He read a lot of fairy tales a loud and told his son lovely stories at bed time. His enthusiasm for fairy tales also caught on for Florian to the point where he listened to the stories until he was twelve years old. Florian was glad to go to bed, because he would then get to listen to a fairy tale.
Florian grew up quite normally in other regards. He asked some spiritual questions which Nils answered gladly. However, he generally wasn't very interested in spirituality.
When Florian was 16, he and Nils went on a hiking tour in Scottland. Florian was excited by every castle that appeared on the landscape. In the evening, Florian was enthused by Nils' ability to get wet firewood to burn in a short amount of time.
Many types of stories were interesting for him, just not the spiritual stories of Nils. He had to find the meaning of his own spiritual way for himself. He did so as he went to USA two years later as an exchange student. He observed other people and their lifestyle very closely and took a closer look at himself. Then Florian recognized that it was also good for him to have a more spiritual orientation on life.
Time passed back at home. U and Nils had been together for twelve years. Nils got along very well with his son. It was more difficult with U though, and became increasingly more so. They started to fight more and more. It came to the point where they were only arguing. There were only negatives, problems and conflicts in the relationship.
Nils began to see things from the perspective of separating from U. He hadn't envisioned a life full of arguing, and didn't want that to continue forever. He was a believer in harmony in a relationship, He saw that he needed a harmonious relationship in order to lead a happy life. He could accept short-term periods of unrest in a relationship, but not eternal arguing and power struggles.
Nils tried various attempts to save the situation. After five years, Nils noticed the tendency to argue and mentioned this to U. Both wanted a harmonious relationship. They decided to say “stop” whenever one of them started an argument.
This technique worked for awhile, and allowed them to reduce their arguments to a tolerable level. But then Nils had a lot of exam stress, and Florian cried and screamed a lot and U and Nils developed differing relationship philosophies.
Nils was more spiritually minded, and U followed western psychology. According to western psychology, one should consistently live out their feelings. If you are enraged, you should show your partner. U loved her rage because it gave her power. For this reason it is understandable that she rejected Nils' spiritual perspectives. The two could not come to terms with their differing philosophies.
The main reason for the growing negativity in their relationship was Nils' long years of exam stress. This stress stole his inner strength, and he wasn't able to encounter the developments in their relationship with the same positive attitude as earlier.
Nils let U know that under the circumstances he would separate from her. They tried to change their behavior toward one another, and it even worked out to the point where things were fine three months after a nice vacation. But even that didn't last, although this time U really put effort in as well to save the relationship.
Things became increasingly difficult between Nils and U. They didn't have enough common interests and hobbies, and they couldn't communicate well with one another, and intimacy was also an issue. They went to a relationship counselor, but they couldn't change the underlying negativity. Nils moved into his house at the edge of the city and became a yogi. U was very sad for one year, and then she found another man.
Nils needed many years before he could let go and forget U. He was very sad for a half a year, a bit sad for six years, and in the following six years he sometimes still thought of U and forgot the pain of the relationship. Then he had a breakthrough and fully arrived at his life as a yogi.
The one who suffered most as a result of the breakup though, was Florian. He felt really bad for a half year, even though Nils visited him often and Florian spent most weekends at Nils' house. He changed from a happy child to an introverted person, but this was also the way he found his spiritual perspectives in life. When he was 18 years old, he recognized the main point of his life as developing inner happiness.
In March 1983, Nils took his second law exams. Afterwards, he landed in a difficult and severe post-exam depression. He spent six months trying to figure out how to get out of that depression.
Nils learnt autogenes training from a doctor. He meditated every day twice a day for fifteen minutes each. He exercised every day. What he really needed though, in that first half of a year, was an effective way of positive thinking.
He had been practicing positive thinking for years, but he needed a more systematic and consistent system to have the overall depth of results he was looking for. Nils had to go through a lot of suffering in the beginning of his spiritual path because he still had a lot of weaknesses in his thought exercises.
After the exams, Nils didn't have any large, positive goals in the future any longer. Professionally, everything remained unclear. The job market for lawyers was difficult at the time. Nils didn't know which exact profession he should go for. Nils wanted to go into administration, but no one seemed to be looking for new employees at the time. There were already a lot of practicing lawyers in Hamburg, and only a few earned enough money. Most could barely get by.
Spiritually, things were also unclear for Nils. He had learnt about the worthy goal of inner happiness, but he didn't have a concrete way to reach this goal. He had the feeling there couldn't be such a way for him. He didn't really believe he could reach true happiness. It took six months after the exams for Nils to find the books which helped him along.
Nothing was really fun anymore for Nils. He was constantly plagued by a feeling of negativity. He felt powerless and unworthy of living. His sleep problems returned. His body was now accustomed to sleeping pills and didn't work well due to his tolerance for them. Without the tablets, though, he couldn't sleep at all, and with the tablets he could only sleep sometimes. Nils had become addicted to sleeping pills. He was mostly very tired during the day. He had never suffered in such a way before in his life. He even considered killing himself.
It took a lot of energy and cleverness to get over the negative thoughts, to truly overcome them. Nils needed a clear way out and second a lot of perseverance. Fortunately, perseverance was something he already had, even though he didn't have much inner strength at the time. Through his long years of studying he had developed his perseverance quite well, and he could stick to tasks even after being exhausted. He proceeded with small steps and a lot of breaks, but he stuck to his way. He had a strong will to succeed, and that was the way in which he managed to pass his law exams as well.
What Nils needed now was a clearly developed method of exercise. How do you exercise positive thinking? How do you overcome persistent negative thoughts? Nils read psychological books. Psycho-therapy is a large field of study with various disciplines and directions. He already knew of the psychoanalysis of Sigmund Freud. This line of thinking hadn't helped him much. Now he busied himself with behavior therapy, and it was through that he learnt about the psychological learning theory. The psychological learning theory stated that positive thinking can be learnt. An athlete trains for an outside behavior for weeks or months. He or she practices a certain behavior/action and this way learns proficiency in it.
Thoughts can be understood as the inner behavior of a human. When we consciously practice a positive mental thought process for longer periods of time, the mentality of a human becomes accustomed to positive thinking. In this way, a person reacts automatically with positive thinking when confronted with situations in the outside world.
In September 1983 Nils worked consistently with this learning theory practice. He created a daily schedule of spiritual practice and stuck to it. Positive thinking was really a challenge. There was a lot to practice, and he also had to recognize negative thoughts for what they were. He had to find positive thoughts to counter them. He had to wisely integrate positive thoughts into his mind.
The inner struggle took a half a year. There were large points of conflict and resistance against his working toward true happiness. For example, sometimes he simply didn't feel like working on this, and didn't feel like changing. His understanding called him to continue the exercises and his feelings were against it.
In this phase, many people give up or only continue half-heartedly. They continue just enough so that their inner being doesn't need to change.
Many physically or spiritually ill people decide at this point to keep their illness rather than to change their psyche, even when their old mentality is unwise and neurotic. They are used to this mentality, and so it gives them a feeling of certainty. To give up that familiarity would mean a large step into the unknown. Even if someone expects healing and inner happiness, they might still lack the courage to take this jump.
Nils wanted to get rid of his depression and sleeping disorder. He knew he was on the right track and so continued consistently, even when his feelings shouted against it. Nils had the feeling his concept of self was dissolving. He constantly thought to himself, “there he goes, the old Nils.” He felt sad, as if a long-term relationship would end.
For two weeks, a battle raged between the negative feelings and Nils' conscious will. It was unclear who would win. If the pressure of his suffering had been less, Nils might have given up. Because of the difficulties and pain he had experienced, he was decided to continue on his way, regardless of what would be.
In January 1984, suddenly his ego dissolved. He lost his “I” consciousness. He arrived in a state of selflessness. A deep peace filled him. His mind became positive. Nils suddenly thought positively automatically.
Nils had reached enlightenment. He could sense his body surely enough still, but his sense of self, his “I” was gone. Where his identity had been, there was just emptiness. The emptiness wasn't unpleasant for him, rather interesting. He felt like an independent observer who simply observed himself and the entire world. He could still act, his body and mind were connected, but in his existence he was simply a free observer.
Nils experienced great inner peace with his enlightenment breakthrough in January 1984, but his happiness wasn't so very deep yet. Despite the dissolving of his ego, Nils still had tensions and conflicts in his body and spirit. These tensions blocked the great development of his inner happiness. Nils had the feeling that the first breakthrough to enlightenment was the most important and most difficult. He figured everything that came afterwards would be easier. And it did in fact turn out that way.
Nils noticed that he had achieved the greatest victory along the spiritual way. It was the most difficult and the most important victory. Nils though “ the complete cleansing and development of inner happiness is now just a question of time.” The time it would take was longer than he thought back then, but still Nils had reached the spiritual way of life.
For two weeks, Nils lived without an identity. Then his consciousness built a new sense of self, or ego. Nils was too tense and conflicted inside to remain at the level of selflessness. But he was a changed person and more positive, peaceful, and loving.
A great feeling of empathy awakened in him. He knew now how large the suffering in the world can be. He had the wish, to show all humans the way of inner happiness and to protect them from depression. In a certain way, he saw his future life's goal.
The sleeping problems had disappeared. In the next two months, they appeared again from time to time. As of March, Nils reached a level of stability. He still had many years in front of him with some troubles sleeping, but he could generally master the dilemma.
Furthermore, his exam-stress dissolved at a deep level. He dreamed of how he had prepared for the first exams and how he had written his thesis during the second exams. He even dreamed about some difficult times he had during his school days. His dreams were dreams that let go of the various types of stress and tension generated from those situations. After the dreams, Nils was cleansed.
Nils studied law and founded in autumn 1984 together with some friends a law firm. He was happy being a lawyer. His job was varied and interesting. In particular, he devoted himself to the disadvantaged people in his town. Once a poor woman came to him, she should lose all her money at an unfair contract. Nils caused the lawyers of the opposite side to renounce of the entire debt. The woman was very grateful. She brought him again and again flowers into his law office. Most of his processes he won. He worked thoroughly and was prepared well for his processes. And he advised his clients not to processes that were hopeless from the outset. In addition to his professional activities, Nils took about three hours daily spiritual exercises. He read in spiritual books, meditated and attended spiritual events. His energy was slowly increasing. Once his Sacral Chakra opened wide. Nils was enveloped by an aura of light. He felt a great strength in himself. It also noted the presiding judge, who suddenly had a great respect for Nils.
As a lawyer Nils watched as many of his colleagues got ill by the constant stress in their job. Nils therefore practiced systematically a spiritual stress management. He made lots of little breaks during the day. He trained positive thinking and serenity. In the afternoon he took a long walk. And he lived with a good time plan, so that he had no constantly time pressure. He preferred to work longer and easier than fast and stressful. It was particularly important that he saw his deeper purpose in life not in making money and in a professional career. He retained as a lawyer his spiritual orientation. This enabled him to avoid a lot of stress because his work was not too important.
In 1985 Nils suddenly felt a violent breathing while meditating. After about fifteen minutes the breathing became normal again. Then the body began to twitch intensive about an hour long. Nils had such experiences often from now on. This were inner processes in which tensions were dissolved. Through the intensive breathing the muscles were supplied with energy. Then they could dissolve the stored stress from the past. Nils experienced muscle twitching, restlessness, feelings of cold and heat. The solution processes often lasted a day or two. In November 1986, Nils had his first major enlightenment experience. At a meditation suddenly a warm energy pillar rose slowly upward from the lower abdomen in the middle of his body. Nils watched the energy with interest. The higher the energy rose, the quieter he was. It felt like a thick warm stream of water. On reaching the middle of his head, Nils suddenly was one with the cosmos. He felt supreme bliss.
Very important for Nils was the feeling of a comprehensive correctness. His mother had never been content with him. She had produced in him a strong sense of inferiority through excessive demands. Up to that enlightenment experience he always felt, that he was not okay the way he was. He felt always somehow inadequate, inferior. Now he experienced that everything was right as it is. Also he was just right as he is. In him dissolved a deep inferiority complex. The state of bliss lasted about half an hour. Some hours after this experience, Nils was very restless. But after a while things calmed down. In yoga, this experience is referred as the ascent of kundalini energy. It is the highest level of hatha yoga. Nils was blessed at the very beginning of his spiritual journey with a high experience of enlightenment.
In March 1987 Nils got the unity consciousness. He had been invited by his step-sister Gesa to a birthday party. It was a big party with many people who were talking cheerfully. Nils did not know the most people. He was a little off and bored. He had not found a person with whom he could converse well. To overcome his boredom, Nils began to meditate. Suddenly his consciousness expanded. It filled the entire room. Nils became one with all. He outgrew of his body consciousness and felt like the room. He saw also his body only as a part of the room. He identified himself with the totality of space and all the people in it. He was filled with peace and happiness. And he was one with all people in the room. He felt the thoughts and feelings of all people. He needed no longer to entertain himself. It was talking in him. Nils just sat there and looked at all the people friendly. Some people looked back friendly. They probably thought that Nils was happy enough in himself. And so it was. It was a great party with much conversation.
In August 1987, Nils had one more energy experience. Again, the Kundalini energy rose in the middle of his body upward. But this time it did not stop in the head. It gathered at the apex (crown chacra) and then shot up suddenly with great force into the sky. After a while it came back and flowed on the outside of his body down to earth. Thus, the circuit was closed. Nils had been connected with the energy of heaven and earth. All this happened while standing in a yoga position. He was then bathed for an hour with happiness showers. Mother Meera teaches: "Reaches the Kundalini energy the crown chakra, you get the darshan of God. When the Kundalini rises over the head, one attains a constant connection with the light." Nils grew from now on constantly further into the light.
The culmination of his experiences was the entrance of the Holy Spirit. In December 1987, Nils was at a satsang by Keith Sherwood. Keith Sherwood was a non-dogmatic spiritual Master from the United States. He had come for a short visit to Hamburg (Germany). Keith Sherwood was an hour late for the event. He had moved through Hamburg by his intuition to find the event location. Perhaps he had better bought a better road map, rather than trusting in the guidance of God. During the event happened to Nils nothing special. But on the way home he felt a strong energy within and around him. He went home as in a trance. The next morning he woke up early. Suddenly a thick beam of energy flowed down from the sky and entered through the crown chakra into his body. The spiritual energy flooded his body and filled it out completely. The energy beam on the diameter was as large as the head of Nils. It just could pass through the totally opened crown chakra. On his head appeared a flame of energy. Comparable to the experience at Pentecost, in which appeared energy flames on the heads of the early Christians. Nils spontaneously thought that he had now been blessed by the Holy Spirit. He felt the energy beam as a descent of the Holy Spirit. He had the feeling that he had now got a complete baptism directly from God.
A short time later Nils had another amazing experience. When he made his daily walk one evening, he suddenly had the feeling that he was seen from above. As if there was a large eye in the sky that saw him. The eye in the sky is in Christianity a symbol of God. Nils interpreted it as a common manifestation of his enlightened Masters. They wanted to say him that he is seen by God. He is guided and protected. The spiritual path is not always easy. It often leads through rocky terrain and difficult routes, where people need urgently help from a higher dimension. The message of the Eye of God was: "You can trustful go your spiritual way. You are seen and guided."
Angelika, the Vacation-Flirt
In February 1986 Nils went with his friend Jochen for two weeks of skiing in Austria. As usual for them, they raced up and down the mountains. They were heroes of the ski slopes, or at least they thought so of themselves. They were like little boys, and that is what they had always done. It was a good feeling to have a lot of strength and to go to bed completely tired after the physical activity.
But after a week, they figured out that something was missing. Jochen had occasion to state his famous statement: “without women, life is somehow boring.” It was a meaningful philosophical epiphany. Nils could only agree . What would life be without the relationship dance? It would be like bread with no butter.
Nils and Jochen had reached that age where little boys become men, and things with real men always revolve around women. Women are the light of the life of a man. They are his deepest meaning, his inner meaning. Without women, men would live in eternal darkness.
After their deep philosophical discussion, Nils and Jochen changed their perspective of the trip radically. Instead of steep ski slopes, they moved their attention to seductive ski bunnies, and discovered that the entire ski world was full of women. Now there was just one task. Where was the right woman?
And the heavens were merciful. On this day, a new group of women arrived in their ski lodge.
Nils and Jochen sat at the dinner table. They met Angelika with her girlfriends in the room. She saw Nils, and Nils saw her. They looked into each other's eyes, and sparks flew immediately, They were immediately in love. Jochen also found himself a ski-bunny on this lucky day. From that moment, Jochen and Nils went separate ways, and met here and there to exchange short conversations on how things were going. These conversations were always fascinating.
Angelika sat down next to Nils at the table. They started talking, and could immediately speak easily with one another.
In the evening there was a little dancing event. Angelika and Nils went there together. They discovered that they harmonized well together physically too. They danced with seductive gestures, and snuggled up against one another. The music was a soft love song.
Everything developed effortlessly and by itself. Two people had a great hunger for love and affection. They had the feeling they had found exactly the right partner. Their hearts opened up more and more. Their mouths melted together, tow angels danced the dance of love in heaven.
Every day they met on the ski slopes. Nils taught Angelika skiing. Angelika was a bit afraid, and sometimes fell in the snow. Nils then helped her up and gave her many sweet kisses. Nils could have continued like that forever.
After skiing, they went to a cozy restaurant together. Afterwards, they cuddled in Angelika's room. They didn't have sex yet, but cuddled a lot. Nils decided this way of living was much better than the monotone skiing they did in the first week.
The second week everything went quickly. Luckily, Nils and Angelika had the same way home. They took the same bus back, but Angelika had to get out of the bus in Heidelberg whereas Nils continued on to Hamburg. It was a difficult departure. Angelika was suddenly very sad. She comforted herself with the thought that such a great love could not end so fast.
After the ski trip, Nils and Angelika wrote many letters to one another. Angelika then visited Nils for a week in his little house. They talked a lot, took long walks and spent a lot of time in bed. They had sex from morning until evening.
By the time Angelika had to go home, they were in love more than ever. Angelika wrote Nils a long letter. “Dear Nils. To wake up in the morning and you are there, to feel your warm skin on mine and to touch you. The plans for an entire morning dissolve. The week in Duvenstedt was a wonderful time. I feel transformed. Ach Nils, I have such a feeling of longing towards you, I miss you. I have the need to spend a lot of time with you. I think on you a lot. Love, Angelika.”
In June Nils visited Angelika in southern Germany. Angelika was a nurse and lived in a home for nurses. She often had night shift and therefore often had a few days at a time free. It was such a free week that Nils visited her. They took trips into Heidelberg, went swimming in a lake, and made love in the evening in her small room.
Angelika introduced her new boyfriend to her girlfriends. What did the girlfriends think of Nils. They probably thought he was very nice, but at the same time just like all men. Nils could understand that. He didn't wish to be anyoe special. He just wanted to be a man like all men. He went back to Hamburg feeling satisfied.
After half a year, Angelika and Nils still got along well, but their love had cooled off. Angelika's job stress had an effect on this and her always changing work rhythm weighed on her nerves.
Angelika thought more and more of her needs. She considered which demands she wanted to make on the relationship. Nils noticed that he was dealing with an emancipated, independent woman. In general, Nils had nothing against emancipation, but he asked himself if Angelika was going to be difficult to deal with in the long run.
Then there was another problem. Nils was still with U at the time. Indeed, the relationship with U was close to an end, but Nils hadn't clearly broken up with U. As U heard of Angelika she panicked and tried to get Nils to try again with her.
Now Nils was stuck. How should he decide? On the one side, there was the affectionate Angelika, who also had difficult characteristics. On the other side there was U, with whom Nils had had a long-term relationship. The relationship gave him security. On the other hand, there was nothing going sexually at all, and he and U argued constantly. But they had a child together, and together formed a small family that one should not simply give up.
Nils tried to deal according the principle of correctness. What was correct in this situation? How would a wise person deal with things? In his life up to that point, Nils had good results with this principle. A decision is correct when sense as well as feelings indicate it is correct. If one's common sense and feelings do not coincide, then one has to consider until a sufficient amount of clarity is present.
Nils wrote down all of the arguments that spoke in favor of his relationship up to that poibt with U. On another piece of paper he wrote down all the arguments that spoke against moving in with Angelika. Then he read both pieces of paper and rated the individual arguments and put them in order according to their outcome.
He slept on his decision for one night. The next morning he thought about everything thoroughly once more. Had he forgotten something that would contribute to the validity or the invalidity of his decision? Then he decided once and for all. When Nils made a decision, he usually kept to that choice in the long run.
Nils decided to try again with U. He had the feeling, that there was still a chance with that relationship. He also had to try again because of his responsibility to his young son.
One of the things which spoke against a relationship with Angelika was that there was little they had in common aside from physical needs. Angelika wasn't interested in spirituality, and spirituality was the central focus of Nils' life.
The differences in interests would only lead to conflict. Physical attraction alone is not enough to base a real relationship on. Physical attraction normally decreases over the years. A relationship needs something that will carry it forward on a deeper level.
The decision making situation wasn't the clearest, but Nils had to decide. A long term uncertainty would be painful for everyone involved. After all was said and done Nils saw his main mistake as more being that he had even started a relationship with Angelika. It is better to end a relationship before starting something new.
If you start a new relationship before you have completely broken up with a prior partner, then generally it is unavoidable that there is some pain and suffering. The prior partner suffers, the new partner suffers if you return to the prior partner, and you yourself are stuck feeling pulled in two different directions.
As long as you haven't broken up with a previous partner and had a sufficient amount of time to get over the separation then any new relationship will be burdened. Even a new partner has weaknesses that will come to the surface.
Even the previous partner has good sides, which are more apparent when compared with a new partner. The new partnership isn't really free and fair. One wants an improvement. After awhile, you start to compare and the happiness of the new relationship is then destroyed or damaged.
Most of the time the new relationship in such a situation doesn't stand a chance. Either you return to the old partner to try again, or you find yet a new partner.
Angelika was very disappointed when Nils told her his decision. She broke all contact up with him. Nils never heard from her again.
Nils and U tried again for half a year. Then the relationship fell apart for good. In retrospect, Nils saw his decision as correct. He had to try again with U, especially for Florian's sake, otherwise he would have only felt like he had done wrong for the rest of his life. This way, it came to a clear final attempt and then a definite breakup, and then Nils could continue into the future in a more positive and balanced way.
Liselotte with the Man-problems
Liselotte was a very attractive young woman, but she never had much luck with men. She always fell in love with the wrong men. She found good-looking men, but they never stayed.
That is the problem with good-looking men, they usually cannot stay true. They wander from one woman to the next. Whenever women fall in love with really good-looking men, they have a problem. Women are usually looking for a long-term relationship and they can't get that with such men.
Liselotte was full of love and empathy. She had volunteered for years in developing countries and then she returned to Germany.
When Nils met Liselotte, she had just broken up with someone. She was together with a leader of the student movement. When she became pregnant by him, he broke up with her. He didn't want a child, and she didn't want an abortion.
So Liselotte became a single mother. She dedicated her life to the raising of her daughter, though at the same time she had a longing for love and affection. Her daughter loved her very much, but could not replace a romantic relationship.
Liselotte was disappointed with life. With a child, she had hardly any chance to find a new relationship. Out of frustration she began to eat a lot of sweets, and got overweight after a time. Out of desperation she went on diets, but got even more overweight that way.
As is pretty obvious, the solution to her problem would have been simple. She should have eaten more fruit, avoided fat and exercised and practiced positive thinking. Most diets only work for the short term and in the long term produce the opposite effect. When a diet is over, usually one is even hungrier. The best way to get a slimmer figure is to eat healthier and to exercise more. Liselotte didn't have the perseverance for that.
She did psycho-therapy and told therapists her problems and they analyzed her childhood. This only made her unhappier. Constantly focusing on problems didn't help her. As the years went by, she felt worse. She needed to concentrate on the positive in life, instead of the problems. She needed to find the way of inner happiness instead of being dependent on good-looking men for happiness.
Liselotte didn't need psycho-therapy she needed a consistent spiritual practice. Then she would have gotten happier automatically, and her weight problems would have solved themselves.
As a result of being happier and healthier, it would be easier to find and keep an attractive partner, and if not she would still be happier and healthier.
If Liselotte had started off correctly with a spiritual practice she would have become a Buddha on the inside instead of the outside. Then she would live in light with or without men.
Sometimes psycho-therapy can be helpful, especially when certain problems are being dealt with, such as behavior training and overcoming fears and overcoming specific crisis situations. But in general, the healthiest way is to have a healthy diet and exercise and have a spiritual practice, like praying, doing Yoga, positive thinking in order to get one's life going in the right way.
From ta spirtiual perspective, today's psycho-therapy is still wearing baby shoes because it doesn't work holistically. The many psycho-therapeutic schools limit themselves to one technique, whereas the optimal solution to psychic problems is usually a combination of practices and exercises.
That holistic approach has been known in Yoga for a long time. Wester psycho-therapy could stand to learn a lot from the old tradition that is Yoga. It is high time that psycho-therapy learnt a thing or two from the treasure trove of knowledge that spirituality already makes use of.
When Nils first met Liselotte, she was still very slender. They first met in May, 1980. That was when Nils was getting ready for the birth of his son Florian with his girlfriend at the time. Liselotte was in the same birth preparation course.
Nils thought she was a kind person. She had a big smile, despite all her problems. She encountered the birth of her child optimistically. She was looking forward to her child. She was young and pretty, the world lay at her feet. Nils too.
Nils and U invited Liselotte to their house. All three got along well. They talked a lot about children, birth and parenthood. Liselotte found Nils kind, but as a man not her type. She knew that, Nils knew that, and U knew that.
So U wasn't against Nils meeting Liselotte alone. Their meeting had a special appeal for the two. Nils was allowed to be in the company of a very beautiful woman. And Liselotte knew that Nils wanted her but could not get her. There was a certain spark in the air.
Nils could talk about a lot of things with Liselotte. They had a lot of common interests such as the raising of children, relationships, politics, and spirituality. Liselotte thought it was nice to meet someone who liked her visibly.
Nils and Liselotte met once a month for seven years. Liselotte still had her troubles with men. She began to eat a lot of sweets and got fatter and fatter. That didn't bother Nils. He liked her both thick and thin. Only Liselotte thought she was unattractive. Because she defined herself mainly by her looks, her weight bothered her a lot,
One fall evening, Liselotte was feeling especially bad. All of her efforts to find the right man ended in failure. Her child annoyed her, her job stressed her. There wasn't really anything that made her happy. Nils came to visit and tried to cheer her up.
Liselotte knew that she was still an attractive woman to Nils. Why shouldn't she be merciful once to Nils? They both needed comfort, and there was no other man in sight. All moral thoughts fled under the weight of her longing and sadness.
Liselotte saw Nils with new eyes. Nils noticed that immediately. He felt the strong sexual energie, that Liselotte sent in his direction. Intense feelings also developed for him.
Both slid into a chaos of unfulfilled longing for love and sexuality. The tension between the two built up more and more throughout the evening. They talked, but more they felt the intensity of feelings.
Nils only saw the large breasts of Liselotte and her smiling face. He hardly knew what he said and did. His wisdom disappeared. His thinking was dominated by sexual wishes.
Nils hadn't slept with U in a long time. The relationship was at an all-time low. Nils was sexually starved, and exactly in that moment Liselotte wanted sex with him.
Nils maybe would have resisted if he had a clear understanding of loyalty, but as we already know, Nils hadn't really thought about that topic very much. It took place just some years later as he read a lot of books about relationships and developed some clear ideas about them.
The evening came close to an end. The dangerous moment arrived. Should Nils stay or go?
Nils looked at Liselotte. Liselotte looked at Nils. She came closer to him. His hands came close to her breasts. He touched her breasts, and Liselotte pressed against Nils. Now it was decided, and both knew it. Liselotte took Nils to her bedroom.
Because Nils was overly excited due to pent up sexual energy, it went very fast. It was very unsatisfying for both. Finally, there was just a bland taste left connected with guilty thoughts toward U.
The long time friendship was destroyed. They met a few more times, but Liselotte wasn't really interested in Nils anymore.
And how did U react to this whole thing? It didn't bother her! She could forgive the two easily. She knew it was a one time situation, because Nils wasn't the right man for Liselotte, so she had no fear of losing him. For that reason she had such a laid-back reaction. Nils and U talked openly and honestly about the incident. They could get over it quickly.
But Nils felt really bad. He had made four mistakes, and they were not mistakes that a person with sense should make. The first mistake was to be untrue to U. Disloyalty usually leads to suffering in a relationship.
The second mistake Nils had made was to not think of protection during sex. Often when you don't expect to have sex you don't have a condom with you. A second child was not what Liselotte needed, she was already overwhelmed with one child. Nils and Liselotte should have thought of protection, and better should have not even have had sex at all.
The third mistake was to not even think or talk about the possibility of infection of a sexually transmitted disease. When two people first have sex, they should absolutely use a condom.
AIDS had begun to spread around the world. A condom is the only sure protection if both have not had an AIDS test or had no other partners. Nils had indeed talked about relationships often with Liselotte, but wasn't informed on every detail of Liselotte's relationships. She didn't tell him every detail about every man she had slept with. In this situation, Nils should have used a condom.
The fourth mistake Nils made was to even have such a one night stand. Sexuality should generally only occur in the context of an established relationship.
In the sixties and seventies, there was a big experiment in the western society. In the student movement, free love was preached. “ those who sleep with the same person twice, already belongs to the establishment.” The free exchange of sexuality was seen as the main way to happiness.
Did this make people happy? It made them unhappy. The ideology of free love proved to be a way to unhappiness.
Most people need certainty, trust and reassurance to be able to connect with another. The heart chakra is sensitive. It can bring a person to paradise, but is easily injured.
The way of “free love” leads to people closing their heart chakra so they don't get hurt by constantly chang8ing partners. It reduces real love, and destroys positive characteristics. This can be seen by all people who follow the way of free love. The egoism grows, the addiction to lust grows, and the dishonesty grows and the self-discipline is reduced. The big sexual revolution was a mistake.
We have to decide in life if we want inner or outer happiness. If we take the road to inner happiness, we have to experience our worldly needs carefully. A spiritual person should not practice free love.
One needs some wisdom to not lose his or her way in life. The main goal in life should be to find inner happiness. The main goal must be to master life. One should be a Buddha, a Yogi, a saint or an enlightened person. We need to have the right role models if we want to succeed in life.
Outer enjoyment should be experienced in the right amount (moderate). Those who are anchored in inner happiness and honest with themselves can tell how much enjoyment they can indulge in. The daily spiritual practice is very important. It keeps us in truth and wisdom. It leads to the ability to observe oneself and to proceed in life with more and more wisdom.
The first four years as a yogi, there was good progress. After Nils had about half a year adjusted to his new situation, defined his goals and found the right spiritual exercises for him, he resolved much old stress and often came in blissful states of consciousness. In his dreams he saw past exam situations, difficult relationships and negative experiences from his childhood. All the stress from his former life disintegrated. His mind became calm, peaceful and happy. One night in 1991 Nils dreamed even of his birth. In the dream, he flowed through a long dark tunnel. He made a birth cry and woke up by it. He breathed like a newborn. Nils had a difficult birth. Thus many tensions arose. These tensions went away now. Later on Nils felt a deep longing to be a baby again. He wanted to be in his mother's womb. That was impossible. But possible was it to be enlightened and to live in a cosmic consciousness, in the womb of God.
In 1990 Nils wrote a book about positive thinking. In writing this book, he came across the question of the best path to inner happiness. Is it more important to exercise consistent or to live in a relaxed way? Enlightenment appears, if we resolve our inner tensions. Tensions heal, if we live relaxed. But they also dissolve, if we do consistent spiritual exercises. There are two different schools of thought in yoga. One school emphasizes the life of unattached being (Ramana Maharshi, Lao Tzu, Buddha) and the other school focuses on the spiritual practice (Swami Sivananda, Sai Baba, Mata Amritanandamayi, Mother Meera, Dalai Lama). Who is right? Nils had to clarify this question for himself. He thought a day so intense about the problem of being or exercising, that after falling asleep in the night the thinking goes on. When he awoke in the morning, he was in a deep state of enlightenment. His mind had solved the problem in the night. The answer was conclusive. Enlightenment, inner happiness and the state of unattached being are closely linked. If you let go of all attachments to external things, you relax so deeply into your soul, that the inner happiness can unfold. Being can be described as a precursor to enlightenment. A yogi must come into a state of unattached existence. Then eventually enlightenment develops by itself. On the other hand normally nothing happens without consistent practice. According to Nils both doctrines are right. Practicing and being are both important on the spiritual path. Every person has to find his personal way. Who is prone to laziness, should emphasize the exercises. Whoever is uneasy inside, should come to calmness and live without attachment to worldly things. Nils path is it primary to live in rest, to work a little bit for a better world and to do steady some spiritual exercises. On his way Nils feels each day very sensitive, if he has to focus on exercising, doing good or relaxing.
One day Nils visualized himself before bedtime as a Buddha. When he awoke in the morning, his spirit had turned him into a Buddha. He was turned overnight into a small Buddha. He woke up as a Buddha. The identification with Buddha as a role model had awakened his enlightenment energy. Inner peace and the image of a Buddha are closely related. They aimed precisely at the point, that prevented mostly his enlightenment. Nils as a restless person needed primäry techniques of rest to unfold his Kundalini energy.
In early 1991 Nils visualized on a walk the whole universe full of happy beings. He wished that all beings all over the world might be happy. He identified himself with all beings and their desire for happiness. He thought the mantra: "May all beings in the world be happy." He opened his heart for all beings. Suddenly he got into a dimension of universal love. The entire landscape around him changed completely. It was bathed in bright light. In Nils appeared the thought: "I am love." He never had had such a strong experience of love. The whole universe consisted of happiness and love.
In 1992, Nils had reached a stage where very often breakthroughs took place in enlightenment dimensions. It was an exciting but also very stressful time. Nils often got great inner happiness and a cosmic consciousness. This usually lasted for several hours. Then by the strong energy dissolved many internal tensions and Nils came in difficult cleaning processes. In his body it was raging and his mind became negative. Nils then immediately made spiritual exercises. He walked for an hour. He read in spiritual books. He meditated a few hours. So the inner rage calmed down. If this did not help, Nils rescued himself through sweets or watching television. The first half of 1992 was a very stressful time. Nils lived in constant alternation of joy and pain. This constant change was very stressful. Although the many experiences also inspired him. But he was happy when the high energy processes calmed down after a while. There were, in the opinion of Nils two reasons. First, Nils was something gentle with himself. He practiced his exercises sensitive and not so radical. Second, he was now living on a good daily plan. He combined wisely cleaning and recovery phases. Thereby he could largely avoid negative states of mind.
In December 1995, after seven years as a yogi, started again a difficult time. Intense energy processes passed through his body. At night he could not sleep and during the day he was limp and exhausted. It was particularly bad in the thirteenth year. He had one after another an illness, an accident and his girlfriend parted from him. The last major cleaning phase was then in March 2003. In a short time dissolved a lot of internal tension. Nils had for four weeks the feeling as if he had stuck his hands into a socket. He was glowing so much, that he needed sometimes no blanket at night. Although it was winter. After four weeks the cosmos turned the power off. Nils had to recover for one week. He ate one day very much cake. And then he felt good again.
For Nils, the spiritual daily schedule is the central technique on the path into the light. It is based on letting go of tensions in the body and soul. Nils meditates for six hours and goes for an hour walk twice a day. He practices Yoga for an hour and reads a spiritual book for one hour. He also works towards the happiness of others three to four hours per day. He exercises constantly. He divides his spiritual exercises in a way that enables him to constantly undergo the inner purification process. Eating, sleeping, working, and even watching TV are Yoga exercises for Nils. If we meditate before going to sleep, meditation continues while sleeping. When we work in a state of relaxation, work becomes a type of meditation. Nils spiritual techniques are simple. They consist of walking, reading, helping others, and lying in bed. Everyone can do that. The secret here is the right application of the right technique at the right moment. You can lie in bed, read, and take walks in a way that only causes you to feel dull and lazy. Yogis know when they need which technique. When the body is dull and lacking energy, the Yogi goes for a walk. When he or she feels restless, he or she practices Yoga or meditates. When the spirit seems to rebel against the spiritual way, a book on spiritual topics helps to bring back the conviction towards enlightenment. A Yogi senses his inner conflicts and uses the proper techniques to dissolve the tensions. That is usually what the body and soul wants the least at that moment. Wherever the neurotic defense is, is usually the way into the light. On the other hand, we need to sometimes give the body and soul what they would like, otherwise tension is built. The way to happiness requires a lot of wisdom and inner sensitivity.
Petra, the Artist
Petra was an artist. She was 36 years old and lived alone with her little son in a nice part of Hamburg. She had a big basement apartment with old furniture. Self-painted portraits hung on the walls in soft tones, with lots of silver and white.
Petra lived in a dreamworld of beauty, purity and spirituality. She saw herself as a princess. She was of the opinion that she had lived as a princess in a castle in an early life. Beautiful old houses with towers magically appealed to her.
Petra loved nice clothes. She listened to classical music and meditation music. She could sing beautifully. Once Petra and Nils stood in the middle of an empty subway station and Petra began to sing. In the large hall her voice sounded like it was in a concert hall. Nils could have listened to her singing all day.
Petra was a vegetarian, meditated every day and read the texts of Yogananda. Yogananda was her spiritual master. He was one of the first to bring yoga to the western world. When Nils and Petra had sex, Petra always hung a large towel over the image of Yogananda, so that her master could not see what happened there.
Nils was much different from Petra. Instead of nice clothes, he wore jogging pants and old tops. Instead of classical music, he listened to rock from the radio. Nils felt like a simple farmer next to Petra. The dramatic differences were a source of attraction for both in the beginning.
Petra loved the natural, simple and life affirming in Nils. Nils loved the entirely unknown and primal- feminine in Petra. Petra was an incarnation of the mysterious feminine. Shiva and Shakti met one another here. Here polar opposites melted into a dynamic unit of oneness.
Nils met Petra in the beginning of 1988. He was a lawyer back then, and represented Petra during her divorce from her husband. They talked, and discovered they were both spiritually inclined.
They arranged a private meeting in Petra's apartment in order to talk outside of the business realm.
They could speak easily with one another, even when they had differing opinions. After the first evening, Nils lightly hugged Petra and thought little of it. But for Petra it broke the dam of bottled up longing for love and affection. She hugged Nils tightly back, and sparks flew between them.
At first they did not notice what was between them. They met a few times and got closer to one another. At some point, the hugs felt like they were melting together. Two moths found each other, and they landed in the bed shortly after.
Nils discovered his tantric abilitys, and they dove into a world of love and joy of the senses.
Yoga gives a person the ability to be sexually fulfilled. It is great when two partners practice spiritually.
Through the spiritual practice, Nils' body changed. He could have sex for as long as they both wanted, by controlling ejaculation and the sexual energy. They could sleep together for hours, and a lot of happiness energy resulted.
Nils and Petra met in Petra's apartment every morning while Petra's little son was at daycare. For three fourths of a year, they loved every day for two to three hours.
Through the tantric Yoga, resulted warmth and energy processes which lasted for hours. When Nils arrived at the law office, he was glowing with so much energy that he needed to cool down for hours before he could fully concentrate on his work.
Before Petra, Nils had the neurosis that he could never get enough sex. This hang-up dissolved after three fourths of a year. With Petra, Nils felt satisfied, and his deep fear dissolved. It was a big moment of freedom from his deep-seated sex addiction.
Nils continued to like sex, but he could do it and he could let it go. He was less addicted to it. He could live simply in his being. He could accept things more as they came to him.
With Tantra Yoga, we live in a tension field between the outer and inner happiness. Both ways run parallel. The way of outer happiness leads usually to more dependence and tension. The more we live for our outer enjoyment, the bigger these dependencies get. The inner tensions grow, and the inner contentment and happiness shrinks. We lose our inner piece, our inner power and our spiritual wellness.
Along the way of inner happiness, one loses the inner tension systematically. One is freed from all dependencies on the outside world. One is freed from the whole outside world, and can live one's whole life in inner happiness. The less the tension, the greater the inner happiness, until we arrive in light, in unity with the cosmos and are enlightened.
We can say that there is ego-development and the development of the self. Ego development leads to unhappiness and self- development leads to happiness. Ego-development is easy at the beginning and painful at the end. Self-development is difficult in the beginning and leads to great grace.
Ego development consists of good food, nice trips, and a lot of outer consumption. It works toward outer riches, recognition and professional carriers. It follows laziness (tamas) or overdone activity (rajas).
Self-realization consists of daily, consistent work with oneself. It dissolves inner tension away with Yoga, meditation and deep thought work. The ego is not the focus point (fears and addiction), rather the freed psyche, the true self as the central point of life.
With tantric yoga we dissolve the conflict between the outer and inner, in that we can wisely set things in life into flow. We enjoy certain things in the right way, that they bring us into light. We live sensitively with the right moderation.
We anchor ourselves in our spiritual goal. We use the positive potential of material enjoyment without losing ourselves in them. We destroy our dependencies and land further in light, living in calm.
If we don't see the problem with our dependence on material enjoyment, we land in the trap of tantric yoga. We strengthen our addictions and block our enlightenment. We get stuck in the cycle of enjoyment addiction. Our desires get bigger, and see only negative in others, and satisfaction in a relationship decreases.
That is how it went with Petra and Nils. They talked a lot about spirituality. Together they practiced only sexuality. They didn't practice positive thinking consciously and systematically. They were not aware enough of their negative thoughts to replace them with positive thoughts. They did not honor each other as future Buddhas and enlightened Yogis. (God and Goddess)
They concentrated mainly on the body and not on the soul. They wanted to have love without giving love, they didn't live from the center of their spiritual being.
Petra developed a thousand wishes that Nils should fulfill. She always had something to criticize and wanted to be the boss of the relationship. Power struggles began, and they argued more and more.
Petra thought that she would be happy when all of her wishes were fulfilled. Petra didn't realize, though, that wishes can also grow. She also did not see that her main problem with dissatisfaction was in her own psyche. If Nils had fulfilled her wishes, then for each one two new wishes would appear.
So Petra and Nils grew more and more apart. Their bodies still harmonized well together, but mentally they were distances. Petra moved back and forth in wanting to be with Nils or not. She wasn't sure. Nils was with Petra for one and a half years. Then Petra broke up with him.
Sitting, Walking, and Cognitive Work
Spiritually, humans can be compared to onions. Tensions and inner conflicts (inner stress) must be dissolved layer by layer. When one layer is peeled away, the next quickly appears at the surface until the inner core is revealed. At this point, a lasting inner joy is found, and the Yogi or Yogini lives in light. Inner joy appears in a person when the tentions (Samskaras) in body and soul have been dissolved. We need exercises for the body (Yoga, Meditation) and for the soul (reflection, Positiv Thinking). Buddha developed a very simple yet genius practice. This consisted of “sitting, going, and thought practice.” This is the center of a successful Hatha Yoga Practice. You need body work (Yoga, walking), mental work (reflection, reading, praying, mantra) and meditation (sitting or lying). And everything in balance, in the right moment and with the right technik.
When one varies one’s activities between body work, mental work and meditation, the inner conflict and tension can be done away with. When a person only meditates, the spirit becomes dull and listless. Routine movement makes the spirit clear, keeps the body healthy and gives the person inner energy. If you only go or do Yoga asanas, the mind is restless. Inner happiness comes from inner peace. If the body is kept very quiet, well you can get into deeper dimensions of meditation. Meditation can be practiced either in a sitting position or lying down. Some people can meditate better when sitting, others when lying down. Those who fall asleep easily when lying down, should meditate by sitting. Those who cannot sit straight for a long time should practice meditation lying down. In addition to periods of sitting and relaxing in combination with movement, working with the thoughts is important in getting rid of inner conflict. A Yogi or Yogini should develop his or her thoughts with love, wisdom, and self-discipline. He or she should learn to bring the thoughts into stillness, until the thoughts are always tranquil. Then he or she only thinks when thinking is required.
The five most important spiritual activities are: lying down (or sitting and meditating), reading, walking (or Yoga asanas), doing good for others (work), and to enjoy life. Meditation is a way to get inner peace. Reading spiritual books helps to cleanse the spirit. Walking, jogging, biking, swimming or yoga gives you health and inner strength. Even the Dalai Lama rides a stationary bike every day, for a half an hour. Swama Shivananda liked to take walks. There are appropriate exercises for everyone. Yogis living in caves developed the very well-known sun salute, for example.
The fourth activity is that of Karma Yoga (doing good). Karma Yoga opens the heart and develops the consciousness towards all-encompassing love. Karma Yoga can be practiced one to six hours per day. Swami Shivananda recommended one hour, while Sai Baba is for six. Yogi Nils found three to four hours per day to be a good amount for him. Karma yoga can also be practiced by working people, but of course money is needed to exist in today’s world.
The fifth activity consists of enjoying life. We should bring joy into our lives. Everyone is predisposed towards something. You can listen to music, eat something delicious, read a good book, watch a movie, find time for your favorite creative hobbies, and so forth. It is important though, to pay attention to the amount with which we busy ourselves with enjoyment. Too much of a good thing is not a good thing, too little makes life sad.
Too much direct contact with other people during the development of inner happiness should be avoided. A yogi should find out how much contact with others is good for him or her. At a certain point, physical rest can cause the energy of a person to go inward. This turning point must be discovered by each yogi for him or herself. It is difficult to find and difficult to hold onto. Life energy tends toward an excess of activity or towards dullness. Both need to be avoided with daily self-discipline. When we keep inner calm, inner happiness appears. An effective yogic life feels like a constant swimming against the tide of ones own neurotic impulses. It's like living in a pressure cooker. First rest is extremly boring and then the energy starts to work intensive in the body. It tingles and pulls and you want to move. But if you stay at rest, then suddenly inner peace and happiness arises. We become happy in ourselves. We grow in our enlightenment engergy. We enter into a life in the light. According to Swami Sivananda, enlightenment occurs via relaxation, practice, and love. When a Yogi or Yogini lives in an area of peace, he or she is already halfway there. The second half is tackled with spiritual practice (yoga, walking, meditation, mental work). We pass through the gate to a life in light, if we live in focus for a happy world and train the quality of love to all.
The Organic Woman
The Öko woman was a typical New Age woman who likes trying out a lot. She sought the appropriate therapy method, the suitable spiritual path and the right man. She was dressed organic and ate vegetarian. The Öko woman had studied economics and then made a training in psycho therapy. As a therapist, she was very good. She was highly intelligent and able to empathize well with others. In fall 1989, Nils was already living as a yogi in his little house in the wood. He made a therapy training, worked as a lawyer and gave in the evening after work in his law firm meditation and positive thinking courses. The Öko woman was interested to learn something new in positive thinking and came to the group. After the group they talked together a little bit. They noted that they had the same way home.
Spiritually the Öko woman was a follower of Thich Nhat Hanh. Thich Nhat Hanh is next to the Dalai Lama the most famous Buddhist Master in the West. He is from Vietnam, lives today in southern France, and leads with the nun Chan Khong the spiritual center "Plum Village". Thich Nhat Hanh teaches the Buddhist mindfulness meditation. With him, everything is extremely peaceful. Going slowly. Eating slowly. Pay attention to your breath. Consider your thoughts and your feelings. Think positive. Live in peace and in existence. At his events can take part people of all spiritual religions. He explaines that the truth lies ultimately over all spiritual systems. If you want to come to enlightenment, you must rise above all conceptual systems. Thich Nhat Hanh often occurs at Christian events. In Hamburg he was invited by an evangelical church. Nils took the opportunity and went to the weekend seminar. The extrem slowliness was difficult to endure for him. He preferred a mix of dynamic exercises and meditation. Nils had learned to take good care of himself and to feel his spiritual needs. During the lunch break, he made a dynamic walk and was therefore in his personal balance between rest and activity. Many other participants experienced the extremely calmness as very stressful. For them the weekend seminar was hard inner work. The Öko woman loved the peace and calmness at Thich Nhat Hanh. It gave her a hold in her restless life. It helped her to find peace within herself. The Öko woman took part in a retreat at his center in southern France. For three months she practiced it not to think, to observe her breath and to move slowly. Then she came back rested and in a good mood.
Nils and the Öko woman had for a time a good relationship. They had the same interests and the same basic spiritual views. They were interested in yoga, psychology and positive thinking. Both were a great addition for each other. The Öko woman visited Nils over the weekend in his hut and once a week Nils went to her appartement. Then she cooked a wunderful vegetarian meal. She wanted to live together with him. But Nils had become cautious because of his many difficult relationships. He wanted a harmonious partnership. If he would live together with a woman, then only in a harmonious relationship. And, unfortunately, the Öko woman loved to dispute. She had learned in her therapy training that arguing belongs to a good relationship. Every weekend they were arguing about two hours. Then she was satisfied. Then they loved themselves again. Nils gave the Öko woman Buddhas sentence, "Be harmonious, monks!" The Öko woman was not particularly impressed. She was a liberated woman, who went her own way. And she found a nice a man, married and got a nice child. And Nils became a nice hermit.
For Nils the Yoga path began with an amazing story. His late father appeared to him in early 1987 in a dream and asked him: "Do you need something?" Nils replied, that he still lacked a path of practice with which he could quickly get inner strength. As Nils woke up, he went intuitively into a bookstore, looked at the shelves and suddenly saw a book on Rune Yoga. He knew immediately that this book contained the promise of the dream. Rune Yoga is the Yoga practice of the Germanic tribes, the ancestors of many people in Europe. The runes were carved in stone. So they could take over the millennia. Nils practiced two years every day for half an hour Rune Yoga. He turned on a beautiful music and began with a shaking in the knees, to loosen the body. He took a rune position, visualized the rune and thought a word as a mantra. By the Rune Yoga Nils received a sense of energy. His internal energy perception awoke. After six months of Rune Yoga, he could feel energies within himself and in other people. That was very helpful on his path of yoga. It was helpful for him personally and also for the teaching of yoga. Nils was able to feel inside, what the people in his groups needed, which physical and mental exercises were good for them. After two years of Rune Yoga Nils had the idea to try out the indian Yoga. He bought a Yoga book and tested the described postures. He noted, that the indian postures gave a person also a strong energy. Over the years, he moved more and more to the indian Hatha Yoga. Only his Shake Meditation reminds at his beginning as a Rune Yogi.
Mid-1988 Nils moved into his small house in the woods and became a Yogi. He made a training as a psychotherapist and gave positive thinking courses in a health center. Sometimes individual clients visited him in his Yogi-hut. In early 1991 he sat in prior to his first yoga group. Twelve strangers looked at him curiously. This was their yoga teacher. What would he do now? Nils also did not know. But he was full of optimism. Basically one should make a yoga teacher training before passing a yoga group. But here was a special situation that required an exception to the rule. Nils felt the inner calling to be a yoga teacher immediately. After all, Nils had a daily yoga practice since four years. He had read many yoga books. And he had a good feeling for spiritual energy. He could feel which yoga exercises are helpful in a situation. First, Nils made a round of introductions. Each participant told what he personally expected from the yoga class. Thus Nils could give them what they wanted. Most group members wanted some relaxation, some gymnastics, and some health training. They wanted to reduce their stress and maintain good energy. Some participants were without any expectations. They simply wanted to know what yoga is. After the introductions Nils turned on some music. All the people danced for ten minutes on their way freely out their stress. Later on Nils develloped the Shake Meditation for the beginning of each yoga class.
After the free dance they all lay on their yoga mats and relaxed. Nils then showed them simple yoga exercises in the supine position, the prone and the sitting. Basically, in a yoga class always all body parts are trained so that one gets an all around good feeling. After the dynamic yoga exercises they meditated ten minutes in sitting and fifteen minutes in lying down. After the yoga class, he asked the participants what was good and bad. He changed some yoga exercises and adapted them to the needs of the people. Over time he developed his special style of yoga. He called it intuitive Hatha Yoga. The focus of practice was on the inner feeling. Each participant was allowed to try out what was helpful for him. Later, Nils found the word Happiness Yoga for his style of yoga. He tought a yoga that makes happy. After a yoga session all participants were peaceful and happy. A real rush began on his group. Gradually he got more and more yoga classes, until he had almost every day in the week two groups. And on weekends, he regularly hosted a yoga weekend.
In the fall of 1991, Nils visited for a few days his sister Inge in Berlin. A Sivananda Yoga course was offered in the neighborhood. Nils went there to learn perhaps something new. He asked the yoga teacher if he could join a trial lesson. Suddenly he was hit by a strong spiritual energy. That energy came neither from the group nor of the yoga teacher. Nils thinks, that Swami Shivananda has sent him this energy. He later on appeared Nils several times in dreams and gave him spiritual advices. Nils felt very connected with the Sivananda Yoga organization. He called at the headquarter in Munich and received a brochure about a yoga teacher-training. The training should take place in the summer of 1992 in Canada. The price and the time was good for Nils. He signed up immediately.
In July 1992 Nils flew by plane to Montreal. With a car he was picked up from the airport and taken to the ashram in Val Morin in the Canadian mountains. Nils looked for a campsite, pitched his tent and was able to start. At 5:30 in the morning a large bell rang. A strict daily routine began, that lasted up to 23 clock at night. They sung mantras, heard lectures, practiced yoga and meditated a lot. Approximately 150 participants from around the world struggled four weeks through a comprehensive yoga program. Most participants were from the United States and Canada. The German group consisted of 20 men and women of all ages. The main trainer of the German group was Swami Durgananda. She was a true superwoman. With iron discipline she trained the budding yoga teachers. Every day there were four hours Hatha Yoga with Durgananda. Each student was accurately controlled. Each yoga position had to be 100% right. Durgananda later became one of the successors of Swami Vishnu-devananda, who died in 1993. As a young woman she traveled in search of a spiritual teacher for one year through India. She learned yoga in different ashrams under different Masters. In 1973 she met Swami Vishnu-devananda. She was excited about his spiritual charisma and became a member of his yoga organization. Her was given the name Swami Durgananda. Durga is the Goddess of Power in yoga. Ananda means happiness. Nils would like to have some of the great power of Swami Durgananda. She survives her spiritual crises with her self-discipline. Her motto is: "Yoga is a great challenge. Self-discipline must be activated again and again. A child who learns to walk, falls often. Who gets up again and again, succeeds on the spiritual path."
Very good on the yoga teacher training was the food. It was prepared by the participants themselves. Every day there were two large buffet, where everyone could put together his own personal menu. At morning they got fruit, bread or cereal. At 18 o'clock in the evening was the great common main meal. The meal was purely vegetarian. This pleased Nils. He had given up eating meat since he became a yogi. Instead meat, there was delicious Indian rice dishes, lots of salad and sweets for dessert. Nils was a fan of sweets since childhood. Once the dessert tasted him very well. He stood so often in the queue at the dinner table, that he finally got the whole bowl for scraping.
Karma Yoga is the path of all-embracing love. We reach enlightenment, if we take the happiness of our fellow man more important than our own happiness. We identify ourselves with all. We see us in all. We feel at last one with all. In this way we overcome our ego and get a unity consciousness. Ego sacrifice combined with a cosmic consciousness is the basis of enlightenment. If we train these qualities, we relax deep in our soul, because we take ourselves not so important. We visualize ourselves in all person and thus awake our Kundalini energie. Karma Yoga practised on the real way awakes our inner peace, love and happiness.
In the Yoga teacher training Karma Yoga has been understood as service to the community. All tasks in the ashram were distributed by lot to the participants. Nils was assigned to manual work. He was pleased. Not so pleased was a woman who had to clean the toilets for four weeks. She protested loudly against this task. But it did not help her. Someone had to clean the toilets. And she was the someone. Karma Yoga must not always be easy and pleasant. Especially on difficult tasks we can resolve well our ego. A man just grows on his internal resistance. God loves sacrifice. He who sacrifices his ego every day, one day lives in the light. But sacrifice is a great art. Who sacrifices too much, is tensioned internally. And who sacrifices too little, does not resolve his ego. The sacrifice must be dosed sensitive. In particular, we need wisely to manage our thoughts. The great problem in the teacher training was, that no specific instructions were given for positive thinking. So the poor toilet woman tensed herself with her negativity. If she had practiced positive thinking, then the toilet cleansing could have been a real breakthrough into the light.
At the end of the training each had to give a yoga class. Everyone was very excited. They prepared themselves thoroughly for their teaching practice. Nils learned how much the personality of a yoga teacher influences the yoga class. One can say that about 50% of the effect of a yoga class makes the yoga teachers and 50% the yoga exercises. A powerful yoga teacher strengthens the group members in their power. A loving yoga teacher gives us the energy of love. A yoga teacher must consider exactly what he wants to bring in his group. Most important is that he teaches yoga authentically. He has to bring the energy of truth, love, peace, joy and strength on his personal way to the group.
After the yoga classes, the prospective yoga teachers were tested in a written examination on their knowledge of yoga. They had to answer questions about yoga philosophy and yoga exercises. Most of the students passed the exam. After the tests, there was a big celebration. All yoga teachers gathered and received from their trainers the yoga teacher certification. Every yoga teacher was called up individually. Nils also had passed the examination. He walked to the podium and received his certificate from Swami Durgananda signed by Swami Vishnu-devananda. In 1999 he appeared Nils in a dream and embraced Nils. He accepted that Nils teaches his own style of yoga. The great doctrine of Swami Vishnu-devananda was "Unity in Diversity." There are many yoga paths. But all yogis should work together for the goal of a happy world. They should see themselves as a great spiritual family. Great were the words of Swami Vishnu-devananda: "I'm not a super guru. I am a searching soul like you. I can fall on the spiritual path like you. The daily prayer to the enlightened Masters or to God is very important. I will never go my way without praying. I pray morning and evening. It is of no importance, at what stage of spiritual development we are. Hold the prayer in your heart. Ask God to give you the strength to stay always on your spiritual path."
The Sex Goddess
The Sex Goddess was thirty years old and a kindergarten teacher. The children were overactive, far from calm, and always wanted something from her. She had a lot of stress on the job. Yoga was just right for her. She could get rid of some stress and fill herself with positive energy.
The Sex Goddess was enthusiastic about yoga. She liked the dynamic exercises in standing position, in laying down, the meditation at the end and the tips to positive thinking. And she liked the yoga teacher. She fell in love with her yoga teacher.
She considered how she could talk to him. Nils worked as a pyschotherapist besides yoga teacher at the time. So she arranged a single appointment with him. As they sat in his little house, she explained to Nils that she had fallen in love with him. The therapy appointment was just an excuse to meet him personally. Nils was already with the Organic Woman. He explained to the Sex Goddess that he already had a girlfriend. She accepted that,and continued to come to his yoga course.
At the end of 1990, the Organic Woman broke up with him. Nils was sad for two months and then remembered the Sex Goddess. Fortunately, a new yoga course had begun. The Sex Goddess had signed up for it and Nils asked her if she was interested in a relationship with him. She wanted to think about it for a week.
A week later she said “yes”. Nils was very happy. He had joy in life again, and the Organic Woman was forgotten. New game, new happiness. The forest was full of light. Nils was happy. The Sex Goddess too. They were both in love and talked a lot on the telephone
After awhile, the Sex Goddess visited Nils at home. They didn't spend much time looking at the house, but went in bed right away. They were hungry for each other.
They got along well. They were good in bed together, and mentally got along well too. They could speak together, and both liked yoga, psychology and philosophy.
They tested whether they could get along well together over longer periods of time. Once, they lived together for an entire week in Nils' house. There weren't any arguments, they could easily remedy all conflicts. It was like they were made for each other in every way.
The Sex Goddess could never get enough sex. Nils liked that a lot at the beginning, but it became too much for him later on. Once, she was visiting and lay down on the bed and thought that Nils would get hungry for her when he saw her.
But it ended entirely differently. Nils felt like he was under pressure, so it didn't work out. The Sex Goddess was disappointed. She tried to think positively and said they should just cuddle.
Nils was rather shocked. He linked his potency with his self-confidence. What should he do now? How could he bring his psyche back to normal?
He decided to leave it to the cosmos. If the cosmos wanted that Nils should have sex, then that is the way it was. If the cosmos did not want this, then that was OK too. The cosmos decide, and not Nils
Nils left it to God in a consistent way. This was helpful. The cosmos wanted it almost always, so Nils could leave the pressure of expectations behind.
The Sex Goddess was very pretty on the outside, but she didn't have inner happiness. She had a tendency to think negatively. She especially had the tendency to criticize her body. She mainly saw her weaknesses, and found it difficult to see her life positively.
Inner happiness comes from a cleansed psyche. If there is a lot of tension in the psyche, then inner happiness is blocked. The person tends toward negative thoughts.
The abundance of tension came from her childhood. Her parents had argued a lot and had pushed their children to perform.
The Sex Goddess already had many years of psycho-analysis behind her. It hadn't helped much. She couldn't talk about her problems very well, but she couldn't solve them very well either. She did not understand that lasting happiness in a person with a lot of inner tension is just a dream notion.
Tension can be dissolved through a consistent spiritual life. The Sex Goddess had to live spiritually, but she wasn't that far yet. She only wanted to dream a little.
She believed in material happiness. She thought she could be happy when she had a good job and a good man.
It was for this the Sex Goddess was searching for. She constantly changed her job, and her men. In the time Nils knew her, she had three different professions.
And as it was with the jobs, so it was with men. Somehow, they all weren't perfect. They weren't able to make her happy in the long run.
In the beginning she was enthusiastic with every man. Because she looked good, in principle she could have any man. She looked for the best.
But after a time, some negative sides of each man began to show. That annoyed her so much that she moved on to the next man.
She didn't see that the dissatisfaction came from her own psyche. Those who think negatively, see negative things in other people.
First she was married with a manager. The man looked good and had a lot of money. He could give her a life of luxury. Unfortunately he also had to work a lot. He didn't have much time for his wife. He was usually too tired for sex. Instead of talking with her, he watched TV after work.
The Sex Goddess carried around her longing for a happy relationship. She wanted to spend her life in the context of a happy relationship. During the course of the years, it became clear that her husband couldn't give her that. He saw the point of his life in his career, and she saw the point of her life as a happy relationship.
So she separated from her manager husband and started a relationship with Nils. She thought Nils was the best, he was so understanding, clever and empathetic.
The Sex Goddess got caught in the trap of her own projections. As a yoga teacher, Nils had an alpha-man position in the yoga group. In many women, there is a genetic program to fall in love with the strongest man.
As the Sex Goddess got to know Nils better, she didn't think he was so great anymore. She saw his weak sides and his own need for love. Somehow, she had imagined everything differently.
She wanted to be saved, and to give a knight in shining armor her body and to get his love in return, and to live happily ever after.
The manager wasn't the hero, and neither was the yoga teacher. After a half a year, the Sex Goddess had the feeling she should try again with her ex-husband.
Her ex-husband gave her certainty. She didn't have that with Nils. She didn't know where the relationship would go. She saw Nils' weaknesses more and more, and appreciated the strengths of her ex.
She broke up with Nils and went back to her ex-husband.
She wrote to Nils “ if my decision was right or wrong, I don't know yet. At the moment, though everything is right. I wouldn't be able to separate from my husband now, too many fears came up, and so much still needs to be clarified.
I often think of you and miss you. I think we had a lovely and intense time.
I still feel love and attraction to you and don't want to push that away. That's how it is.
I hope that you aren't doing badly. I don't want you to suffer. I want that things are going well for you, and that you can enjoy your life. I am trying to do that now too. I try to like myself, so I can feel good in my own life. Sometimes that works. Hugs”
When Nils got this letter, he thought. “I miss her two. When two people love, the separation always hurts. The eternal game of love. Somehow I don't feel like playing anymore.”
The Sex Goddess tried to build a happy relationship with her ex-husband. It didn't work, and she separated from him for good. She didn't come back to Nils though, she fell in love with a young student.
It is very difficult to live wisely today. The cinema and TV constantly bombard people with the notion that the only way of happiness is material happiness.
The truth is something different. Science has proven that some 90% of a person's happiness comes from their mental state. The Sex Goddess should have thought clearly and made a life plan. Then she could have had relationships, but she didn't have to make her happiness or lack of it depend on them.
She should have organized her life so that her inner happiness, and not material happiness was set up to grow. She could have her happiness in life through work on herself and progress along the spiritual way. She should have invested her energy in working for happiness instead of looking for the right partner. Then she would have been a Happiness Goddess instead of a Sex Goddess.
The Sex Goddess found herself in the middle of a search, and needed to develop wisdom. She had to try many men out before she could see that going through so many relationships is a way of suffering, until she could see the truth that only she could be her own hero.
Yoga is a great treasure. Yoga keeps the body flexible, strengthens our muscles, dissolves tensions in the internal organs, activates our life energy and makes our mind positive. Yoga helps us to cope our life, to preserve our health and to let the happiness grow in our world. Through yoga we can become a Buddha, a Shiva and a Goddess. Kings have given up their kingdom to gain the wealth of yoga. Yoga is so vast that it can hardly be imagined. Many people nowadays are on an intensive search for the great good fortune. They seek it in relationships, in career and consumerism. They seek happiness in the wrong place. Where they seek, they will not really find it. All external happiness is fleeting. Lasting happiness a person can find only in himself. 90% of the happiness comes from the consciousness of a person. It depends on his mental attitude, his inner qualities and his ability to think positive. This is the clear recognition of the current happiness research. The ancient yogis knew these facts for thousands of years. They have focused their lives on the realization of their inner potential.
A big help on our spiritual path is the daily Master Yoga (Bhakti Yoga). Nils begs his enlightened Masters every day for guidance and help. The Masters lead him through his inner voice (the feeling of rightness) through the day. Nils prays at least twice a day, and especially in any dangerous situation. Nils owes the daily Master Yoga from the founder of Tibetan Buddhism Padmasambhava. He taught: “Whenever you doubt or hesitate on your way, pray to the enlightened Masters. Then follow the voice of your inner wisdom. Feel within yourself, think for yourself and find your way of wisdom. The voice of your inner wisdom is the voice of the enlightened Masters. If you proceed in this way, you will be victorious along the spiritual path.”
The Dalai Lama was born on July 6, 1935 in Tibet. After the Chinese invasion, he moved to Dharamsala in northern India. From there he travels widely in the world giving many lectures. In 1989 he received the Nobel Peace Prize. The Dalai Lama is the head of all traditions of Tibetan Buddhism. Buddhism is a rational system. The Dalai Lama said, "When science discovers something else, we will change the Buddhism." The 14. Dalai Lama (Tenzin Gyatso) has promised to save all beings. But he does it in his own way. He goes strolling through life. He practices a littel, saves the world a little, teaches wisdom a little and laughs a lot, especially. He convinces the people in the West because he is a Buddha of Joy. His biggest joke is the claim that he is not enlightened. The Dalai Lama likes to appear modest. Thus he is loved by the most people. His teaching is simple, "Be a good person. If all people are good, there is a good world. It does not matter whether you're Christian, Buddhist or Atheist. It is only important that we all strive to be good people."
In 1991, the Dalai Lama initiated Nils into Tibetan Divinity Yoga and in 1998 into the way of all-encompassing love (Bodhisattva initiation, Avalokiteshva/Chenrezig). Nils could feel the energy of the Dalai Lama flow into his crown chakra. Later on, the Dalai Lama appeared to him often in dreams and presented helpful teachings to him. The most important aspect of the teachings of the Dalai Lama is that humans are like one big family and that we need to be responsible for the earth and each other in order for peace and love to exist in this world. As a special message for all Yogis, the Dalai Lama said: "In Tibetan Buddhism we believe, that there are enlightened beings in the cosmos. When we call them, we get help."
The Yoga Woman
Somewhere in the autumn of 1991 a small group of yoga students sat closely amassed to a small insignificant yoga teacher. Outside, the cold wind was blowing. The yoga room was sparsely furnished. But at least it was nice warm: The heater worked. The room was dark. In the middle burned a solitary candle. With quiet words the yoga teacher spoke to his people. He gave them a brief introduction to yoga. After that, all participants introduced themselves. Then the yoga class started. They practiced some basic exercises and finally made a long meditation while lying down. The yoga instructor looked at the participants of his yoga class. Most of the people he did not know. There were predominantly women who had signed up for his course. Only a few men had the courage to do yoga. For most students yoga was a new experience. They were excited about what would happen. Mostly they wanted to relieve stress and get some good energy. Most participants were employed and by their profession strongly stressed. She urgently needed a relaxation program. What did they think about the yoga teacher? For most participants, he was just a man whose labor they had booked for a certain time for little money. They hoped that he would do his job fairly well. They wanted that he was nice. That was as all they demanded. Enlightenment for most of them was a foreign word. From inner happiness they had never heard. Some women saw the yoga teachers with special eyes. For them he was an alpha male, a kind of leader, a chief of the primal horde. Secretly, they projected onto him their longings for love and tenderness. They developed unrealistic fantasies and beamed their sexual energies on the poor yoga teacher. They thought he did not notice that. He noticed it. He knew their thoughts and feelings. He could feel their energy. But on the other hand he was on top of things. He looked at sexual desires as a normal part of life. After some time, things would calm down. With the yoga exercises he would focus them on themselves. They would then mainly deal with their bodies, their minds and their yoga processes. Moreover, he saw all people generally positive. He practiced the universal love. He was basically a helper and friend to all his students. Their weaknesses, he barely noticed. He focused on the positive in them. He concentrated on how he could help them best. He wanted them to relax well, become positive and also a little bit to understand the deeper meaning of yoga.
But then there was this woman who radiated absolutely too much energy on him. Energy of love and sexuality. He felt that she wanted him. The poor little yoga teacher sent a silent prayer to heaven: "I can't resist this woman!" God did not answer. So it was probably his karma that he did not resist. After the yoga class, he asked whether they could meet once. A few days later a letter came to his yogi hut. It contained her phone number. Nils visited her, rang the doorbell and she opened the door. They looked at each other. They embraced. And a tremendous energy of love captured them. The Yoga Woman said that they actually do not need to have sex. The energy was already completely strong enough. Nils saw things differently. And so they made love. The energy grew more and more. They became one in love and happiness. Every weekend began a new dance of love. The woman said that she had never experienced such a thing. She had no experience with Tantra Yoga. Nils believes that he had been guided by his enlightened Masters. They took him to an intuitive form of Tantra Yoga. He did not practice rituals and difficult body positions. He felt his path from inside. The Yoga Woman and Nils had a harmonious relationship. Nils gave her at the beginning of the relationship his book of positive thinking. She read it and loved it. She explained that she would like to know this earlier in her life. The Yoga Woman and Nils practiced intensely positive thinking. Therefore, the time of their great love lasted a long time. She was his Lakshmi (Goddess of happiness), his Parvati (Goddess of love), his Saraswati (Goddess of spiritual instruction) and sometimes his Kali (Goddess of suffering). They danced the eternal dance of man and woman. With joy, love, happiness and a little with pain. There were also difficulties and disagreements between them. But with positive thinking, the will to a good relationship and the grace of God, they overcame all the problems and always found back to love. They stayed together for ten years. But all things chance. A yogi lingers in the light and the enlightenment. He flows with times of relationship and times of seclusion. And is always happy. Anyway mostly. Some sadness is part of the life on earth.
Dissolving the Relationship-Addiction
There sat little yogi Nils in his lonely cottage and thought about his life. The Yoga Woman had left him. What should he do now? Should he look for a new girlfriend or should he live alone instead?
First, he considered his goals. What were his most important goals? Nils saw himself as a philosopher of happiness. The central point of his personal wisdom was that one should become happy. The point of life, is to be happy.
The main goal of every person is, according to Nils, to develop true, lasting happiness. This happiness has to be inner happiness. Of what use is material richness if it does not lead to inner happiness? Material wealth is nothing without inner happiness, it is pointless.
Those who strive for material wealth and destroy their inner happiness at the same time are going the wrong way. Most people in the west go the wrong way. They ruin their inner happiness because of job stress. They block their heart chakra through egotistical and constantly changing relationships. They lose their inner peace because they are constantly chasing their desires.
A clever person puts the main focus of his or her life onto inner happiness while seeing to it that he or she has enough materially. He or she considers what is necessary for wellness, and then concentrates on developing inner happiness.
There are various ways to inner happiness. Every person has to find out what his or her personal way is. What are one's abilities? What circumstances contributed to the outer situation? What way can bring inner happiness? Nils considered his life situation. He had a small house he could live in. He had enough money to buy something to eat. He had his body which could do spiritual exercises, and he had a mind which could recognize which way lead to inner happiness and which way did not.
The outer life situation was right for a life as a yogi. The only problem was his relationship addiction. He didn't like to live alone. He would have liked to have a girlfriend. How should he solve this problem?
The best way with problems is to first consider it clearly. Secondly, one should consider the various ways to resolve it. And third, one should decide on a method to get there and then stick to it.
A person can reach enlightenment with or without a relationship. Amma's opinion is that one arrives at enlightenment five times faster when one lives alone. If a western person normally needs 30 years to reach enlightenment, then one would need 150 years when in a relationship. That would be too long for Nils.
This means the way to enlightenment within a relationship needs longer than one life. One practices spiritually for 50 years each life, then one would need three lifetimes within the context of a relationship.
Buddha says that enlightenment is difficult when one is in a relationship. He separated from his wife at age 29.
Nils wanted to at least reach a point where he had come forward in his goal of lasting inner happiness. That he for once wasn't in a relationship, he took this to be a good chance to work on his self-development.
The big question for him was how much outer enjoyment is possible without getting in the way of his spiritual goals.
In yoga, you can be strict or go the way of joy. When living strictly, you do not enjoy any material pleasures. One concentrates merely on spiritual goal realization. Along the way of joy one can also enjoy the outer world a little.
The strict way is symbolized by the god Shiva. He meditates with great self-discipline for centuries.
The elephant god Ganesha, in comparison lives more comfortably. He has a woman sitting on each knee and holds a plate of sweets in one hand. He combines yoga with wine, women, and song.
Nils wanted to reach lasting inner happiness in this life. But he didn't see himself living the strict life. He felt more inspired by Ganesha than by Shiva. He found the middle way to be the best.
His master Swami Shivananda practiced in the strict spiritual style when he was younger. When he was older and taught his students to “ eat a little, drink a little, talk a little, exercise a little, spend time with others a little, sleep a little, do a little yoga, and meditate a little.”
In a dream, he had warned Nils to carefully dance on the ice. He allowed him to practice sex a little. Nils should find out personally what amount of enjoyment in life was the right amount along the spiritual way.
Nils developed his teachings into the idea of five joys: a little enjoyment, a little leisure, a little company, a little love, and a little fun. The most difficult point was love. Nils wasn't against a relationship in general.
But first he wanted to free himself of his relationship addiction and to live ten years without a relationship. A Hatha yoga principle states that a yogi in his main cleansing phase should avoid sexuality and practice yoga alone. Nils wanted to follow this principle.
After ten years he would decide again. How was his situation? Did he still feel like having a relationship? How much time could he invest in a relationship? To what extent is a relationship compatible with his life as a yogi and spiritual teacher?
Would a woman appear in his life for a relationship who would help him spiritually? Buddhist books allow sexual relationships when the participants practice karma yoga.
Nils found this way to be correct for him personally. If he had ruled out a relationship forever, he would have acquired more tension.
In the first years after the Yoga Woman, he noticed clearly how he often felt a longing for a relationship. First it was the longing for a specific woman. His earlier relationships were re-lived in his mind. He had to go through all addiction and pain of separation again.
Then this somehow lessened and stopped. Then there was the longing for a relationship. Nils would have played the game of love and relationships gladly, forever.
His psyche firmly believed that the love between men and women is the main point of life. His mind held onto the notion that the way of relationships is the way of joy.
Although Nils had many years of experience to the contrary, his mind still stuck to this notion. After many repeated observations he noticed that a relationship first consists of happiness, then of conflict and at the end suffering. Happiness only lasts a year normally and the arguing phase for three to five years and the painful separation phase for five years or longer.
Nils had experienced relationships in his life this way again and again. And at the same time he knew of spiritual self- development. He knew that the happiness of enlightenment is greater than the happiness of a relationship.
His clear life experience took Nils to a focus point of the way of enlightenment and to not expect great, lasting happiness from a relationship.
The suppression of sexual desire and relationship addiction is a large problem along the spiritual way. Those who suppress things, build tension. The tension blocks enlightenment. The yogi cannot move forward along the path of inner happiness.
One can create tension if the worldly wishes grow to large. One can also become tense by suppressing those wishes. A yogi must have the skill to neither suppress wishes, nor to live them out to strongly.
If one lives worldly desires every day, in an intensive way, the mind builds up a cycle of addiction. It pulls the person into dependence and out of inner peace.
A yogi has to keep his cycle of dependence very small, so that he or she can control it. He or she has to have the right enjoyment at the right moment in the right amount. Mostly he or she should rest in a state of non-dependence.
There are many stories of yogis who had to fight hard with their relationship addictions. Saint Benedict waltzed into many thorn bushes.
Buddha could only overcome the images of attractive women in his mind with the grounding gesture. It activated his root chakra. He moved a hand toward the earth during meditation and sacrificed himself in his spiritual way. He then let the addictive thoughts in his mind free. After a time they come to rest, and then inner happiness sprung up.
Nils developed a three stage path to overcome mental addictions. First he thought thoroughly, and found helpful positive thoughts and sacrificed his ego. Then he let his thoughts and feelings come and go as they wished. Then inner happiness appeared on its own. When inner happiness came, the addictions were overcome.
Nils also found tantric visualizations to be very helpful. When his relationship addictions became to big, he visualized himself in a loving embrace. He melted with his mental partner and they dissolved as one, finally, into the cosmos. Sometimes enjoying TV, sweets, or long walks in the forest helped him.
Interview of a Psychology Student
Nils was born in 1952 and has lived alone since 1988 in a small, simple house at the edge of Hamburg. After he began his professional career as a lawyer, he began to intensely work with the concept of happiness at the age of 30. He did various trainings and now teaches positive thinking and yoga. A girlfriend of mine told me of Nils, that he works with the concept of “happiness and satisfaction” and she brought a book of him with her. After I read it, I knew that Nils could tell me a lot about inner peace. So I called him, told him what I had in mind, and Nils invited me to a discussion at his house.
The conversation with Nils took place in the evening and lasted about two and a half hours. The atmosphere was friendly, open and trusting from the start. Because Nils doesn't have heating, just a small stove, it was rather cool, he wrapped me in a child's blanket that had been used years earlier and bid me to make myself comfortable. So I felt comfortable and was happy to receive three small guest-gifts: a chocolate lady bug (his personal symbol of happiness), and two books he had written. After Nils had explained a bit of the books, I told him about the method of the personal discussion/interview and asked my first question.
Nils then began to talk in fascinating detail about his experiences with inner happiness. Because he had a lot to tell from his own experience, I only listened and asked a few single questions here and there. Nils and I laughed a lot, as Nils talks about some topics with a lot of humor and makes jokes about himself. At the beginning of the conversation I asked Nils to take some time to tell what images and thoughts come to mind when he thinks about inner peace. Nils then reported from his impression that he was only just now on the way to inner peace and happiness, but to live his life the right way for himself. “ My inner happiness is not what it could be yet. I'm working on it. One could say I live my truth, and that gives me a feeling of peace and happiness.”
Nils then reported what he felt important along the topic of fear. “I had a very strict mother as a child, and had a lot of fear as a result. I am a fearful person. I have a fearful, worried psyche. An important topic for me has always been how to deal with this fear. How do I manage that? I have decided that fear is a part of my personality, and my task is to accept that.” Nils has found two methods which help him to accept his fear. “ I've tried everything possible. My main point is to manage it with yoga and positive thinking.”
Nils believes that people must generally live with their negative characteristics, but the spiritual method can help them. “Many people tend to be afraid, some are enraged. In general, one has to live with it, but one can manage it with psychic techniques and through the spiritual way they can be dissolved for good. One can arrive at a different level of consciousness through yoga and meditation.” Nils told the story of St. Nikolaus. “ St. Nikolaus was a Christian yogi, who lived in the year 400 in Turkey. The Christians of the city of Myra voted him their bishop. St. Nikolaus was a fearful person. Even as he was the bishop, he complained that he was constantly plagued by his fears. But one day, God freed him from his fear. Saint Nikolaus sat at his desk and gave his fears to God. He practiced leaving his fears and worries to God. He offered his will to the cosmos. Then suddenly, the fears were gone.”
Nils is very happy that some people can be freed from their fears. “ It is great to see when people can become free of their fears. If St. Nikolaus could free himself of fear along his spiritual path, why can't I? St. Nikolaus is my namesake. Nils is a shortened version for Nikolaus, although I don't have the right to be called “saint”.
Nils had already told me before our conversation on the telephone that inner happiness can be considered the same as enlightenment. He then started to talk about what this meant for him. “Enlightenment can easily be explained. A person has tension, in the body and the soul. Finally the fear is also a form of tension. At some point, it appears through many fearful experiences. Enlightenment means that one gets rid of this tension through specific exercises. And then it is gone one day.”
Without tension, according to Nils, a feeling of well-being appears in the body. “When this tension has dissolved, then the body is free of tension. Then a feeling of wellness exists in the body and the soul. That means, that one feels good suddenly.” In addition to this feeling of well-being is a deep, peaceful state of being. “That isn't just feeling good, one fees fine with oneself, as oneself. And the essence, one could say, is inner happiness at a deep level. That means that all fear is gone. That is fascinating to consider, one thinks “I was just full of fear, and now that is all gone.”
Nils told of a situation where he had dissolved his tension during a walk. He landed in another dimension of consciousness and true peace was present. “It was so lovely yesterday. I go walking for one hour in the forest and meditate at the same time. Suddenly I thought, “ this shitty life. Now you have been living here alone for so long as a yogi. That is horrible. You don't like to live alone. You would rather live with a woman. The spiritual way is so pointless. Can't you be normal for once?”
“I was far from satisfied with myself. I found my life to be terrible. Then I continued, and suddenly, tension just dissolved. What's going on now? I feel so happy. Everything is so nice. How beautiful it is. Poor other people, they live everything so wrong. (we both laughed). That was really fascinating. Through my practice, I have experienced how tensions can dissolve. Then the consciousness changes. One enters another level of consciousness. I found both peace, happiness in me. I was happy with the world. That is basically how enlightenment functions.”
Often, before a change in consciousness, one doesn't feel like continuing. This was what Nils experienced during his walk. He said that it is important to get through these feelings, where one doesn't feel like continuing, so that the tension can dissolve. “ That is typical for the spiritual way. You have to get through it. If you don't get through it, the tension does not dissolve and you don't get any further.” Nils then described again how he went through that phase and arrived at inner happiness. “The period where you really don't feel like going through anything, was massive for me this time. I would have gladly run away from everything. But I did my walk, and I couldn't go back. I had to keep going. I know the principle, it's just ten steps and then you get over that phase. Then you are at another point of consciousness. And that's how it was. I took ten steps and then it was gone. (Nils breathes deeply). It was great to feel this inner peace.
“My experience is that fear disappears in enlightenment. That is fascinating for me. Most of the time I had these enlightenment experiences for one or two hours. In that time I really didn't have any more fear. Before, I had worried a lot. I was afraid of death and loneliness. I thought that I couldn't be happy alone. Then I arrived in this state of enlightenment and everything was suddenly alright. “Loneliness? It's lovely here!” (We laugh) “I can really confirm that people normally have to live with their tendencies, but that it all improves with enlightenment. That means, you live with deep happiness when you are enlightened. Inner peace and inner happiness, are two things which belong together in the consciousness.
Nils explained that it took many years of exercise to dissolve his own tension. When they dissolve, then normally it takes time for a lasting enlightenment to set in. “With this way into enlightenment it is normally so, that you have to exercise for many years until one comes to the core of the psyche. That means, that one comes into a deep-seated place of tension. When this tension dissolves, then enlightenment occurs. It doesn't mean one is then enlightened forever, rather there are phases when one is and phases when one isn't living in that state. It takes a long time to reach lasting enlightenment. “
At this time, Nils found himself in a cleansing period, where a lot of tension dissolved on its own. “If you continuously do spiritual exercises, you somehow reach the point where the tense psyche just breaks apart. Then so much energy comes into the body, all by itself. This is where I am headed. “
Then Nils began to describe some causes of his tension. “ I studied justice and had severe fear and worry during the second set of exams. Afterwards, I landed in a deep depression. In this depressive phase, I felt really bad. I took tablets to overcome my depression and so I could sleep. After a few weeks, I was addicted to tablets. The tablets didn't do much, but I felt worse without them.”
“ I wanted to overcome my tablet addiction. I stopped taking the tablets. Then I couldn't sleep. I wanted to sleep because otherwise I was tired the next day and felt bad. This desire to sleep made me very tense and hindered me from sleeping. I told myself: “ I accept the situation. I accept it when I can't sleep. I will practice modesty. I will live life as it is. When you can't sleep and you feel bad, then you feel bad.”
“ I consistently was careful to not tense up through my thoughts. That went on for weeks. Then came the point where I really didn't feel like doing anything. I didn't feel like working with my thoughts at all anymore. Then I remembered that I wanted to overcome my depression. It was boiling at the surface for a week, and then the deep tension suddenly dissolved, and I was free of all fear. I had broken through to enlightenment. I didn't have an “I” perspective anymore. I didn't identify with myself anymore. Everything was peaceful. I was everything, I was the cosmos. After a week though, I had a new sense of “I”.
In retrospect, Nils considers this experience incomplete enlightenment. “When I consider that, looking back, I would say that I still had a lot of tension in me. For that reason I still couldn't develop any lasting inner happiness. The second side of inner peace, the great happiness is still missing. It was just a half-cooked state of enlightenment. But, still I managed to work through my tension and obtain inner peace.”
Nils sees the largest difficulty along the way to enlightenment to be coming into one's own center of problems. His wish to get rid of his depression had lead him to work with himself. “That's how it was with me. I was depressed. I wanted to get rid of it. That had brought me to work with my inner resistance. That way I could arrive at this deeper levels of consciousness, through my spiritual practice. “
Nils told how he had had his second enlightenment experience three years later as the kundalini energy was activated in his body. “Three years later I did a weekend seminar with the taoist master Mantak Chia. That helped me to cleanse a lot. Then, some months later I lay in bed and meditated. Suddenly, the kundalini energy rose to the middle of my head.” Nils explained that a goal in yoga is to activate the crown chakra. That has only happened to him once so far. “There I had enlightenment at the deepest level. I can describe that as being in a realm of all-encompassing love. Everything is love. You don't exist, you are dissolved in that love. “ "Then came the feeling of inner peace. From my childhood, I had a strict mother who was always complaining. So I had the feeling I wasn't OK the way I was. As I reached this state of inner enlightenment then I recognized suddenly, that I am just fine the way I am! I'm not wrong, rather alright. That was a deep freeing feeling.” Nils sums up his two intensive enlightenment experiences. “The first, after the depression was where I came to cosmic consciousness. The second, is where my kundalini energy unfurled and I reach the goal state of enlightenment.” Nils reported a method that helps one to grow and to reach enlightenment. He told of the Zen way, which is the quickest but also the most difficult way to become enlightened. “What is the central method for me? Sai Baba (an Indian master) teaches the core method which is simply to sit down and stop thinking. That is pure Zen-Buddhism. There is a book where Sai Baba showed one of his German followers this method. The man was very advanced spiritually. He sat in a quiet place for three years and meditated. He practiced the thought stop technique. When thoughts appeared, he let them go. This way he let go of his inner tension. The whole thing was an intensive inner work process. After three years he was enlightened. That is really fast, a really radical and brutal way. Sit down and don't think.
“ My spiritual way consists of dissolving my tension through the five techniques of laying down, reading, walking, doing good (working for a happy world) and joy in life (to enjoy life a little.) You relax when you lie in bed and meditate. You dissolve conflict when you read positive books. While walking, you dissolve tension. If you think positively, live and work, you dissolve tension. And if you enjoy yourself in the right moderation, it does the soul good.”
Along this way, Nils pays attention to his inner sense which tells him which method he should use. “When I have the feeling I should go for a walk because it would do me good, I do it. When I have the feeling I should lay in bed because that will cause me to relax , then I do it. I go walking twice a day. I meditate three times a day. But to only lie in bed and go for walks would be not enough for me. (We laugh.) For this reason I also read my spiritual books and work every day for three or four hours. In between these activities, I enjoy life a little. I eat good things, listen to nice music and surf the internet.
After a small break, I returned to a point that had already been mentioned at the beginning of the conversation. Nils told of the energy of people he can sense so well. I asked him if he would like to report more in detail about his relationship to other people. Nils told of his wish for a happy world. He had been engaged in politics when he was younger, and had worked for social values. Nils sees these activities as the basis for his feeling of responsibility to other people. “ It was really my wish to make a happy world and to work for justice and peace. I worked in poltics for ten years. That gave my consciousness a feeling of universal responsibility.
In contrast to earlier, Nils can feel the energy between himself and other people better so that his dealing with other people is easier. “Earlier I was somewhat dogmatic (we laugh) and had difficulty empathizing with others and often got in trouble. I said things to women which hurt them, without wanting to. I didn't have much sense of other people. That was difficult. That I can feel energy now, makes it all easier.”
Nils was more conscious of potentially hurtful comments, although sometimes he still feels like he isn't sensitive enough in his contact with others. Despite that, he realizes when he says something wrong immediately and can correct that right away. He told about a situation that went wrong at a yoga course. “On Monda, in the yoga group, a woman started who was complaining about the smal room. I said, “hey, we're in a positive-thinking course.” That was meant as a joke. The whole group laughed, but she was hurt, I noticed. I could see that she needed 1 hour and fifteen minutes to work on that. It was first during meditation that she stopped feeling bads. A feeling of forgiveness permeated the room. I sometimes make mistakes, but I notice it now. I notice when I say something that comes across too harsh, then I can correct myself or hold back the comment. Having a feeling for energy is helpful there.
Nils can even work on the feeling level with animals. He told of an encounter with a deer where he could feel a lot of love between himself and the animal. “I feel the energy of animals as well as people. I went for a walk one evening. There were deer in the meadow. They considered whether they should run away or not. A mother deer had a lot of love in her. She observed me with love, and didn't run away. Maybe it was the deer who lived near my house and brought up her children nearby. I noticed a connection from heart chakra to heart chakra. The deer just stood there and looked at me with love. I then said some nice words to the deer. That's crazy, I know. I have the ability to make contact with animals because I can feel them energetically and they can feel me too. “
At the end of our conversation I asked Nils if he had anything else important to say. He reported that calm, positive thinking and visualization are the best methods to come to enlightenment. Nils told how there are two forms of visualization. He explained the method where you meditate on the cosmos, God, and unity. “With visualization there are two options. You can identify with the cosmos. In tibetan Buddhism there is the exercise where you image the stars in the sky. You can also imagine nature, trees, animals and the sky to come into a cosmic consciousness. You can send light to all beings, and see the whole cosmos filled with light and see the light in yourself and awaken inner happiness.
Another method is role model yoga. You imagine yourself as Buddha, Shiva or Jesus Christ and awaken your kundalini energy this way. With this technique, you notice through which role model you will best arrive at enlightenment. Then you try to see the role model as precise as possible, especially the central characteristics. I put statues on my altar or look at a photo of the enlightened role model. I look at it as being in my company or identify myself with it. Then I find a mantra that will strengthen the visualization and bring it to a point. I try to get into the energy of this role model. For calm, I have Buddha as a role model, for strength Shiva, for ego sacrifice, Jesus and for giving and light and love the goddess Lakshmi.” Nils explained that there is a third method for him to come to inner peace. This method is to live as oneself and to be oneself. “I have seen that I need a third method: I have to be the person I am. I must be in harmony. I have to live my way. I have to live moderately. I need a lot of time and rest, I must live with some enjoyment and need a fulfilling goal in life. Finally, I need a deeper sense in my life. This deeper sense is God, enlightenment und love to all. ”
Enlightenment and God
Enlightenment occurs when the tensions in the body and mind are dissolved. In the Bible, this is described with the words: "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." The tensions are caused by the stress of life and mental false reactions. Tensions can lead to mental abnormalities (neuroses) and psychosomatic illnesses. You can put it like this: "An enlightened person is inwardly healthy (whole, a holy)." Meditation and mental work are the two main techniques to resolve inner tensions. In meditation, there are various techniques. You can work with visualisations. Positive images can resolve internal tensions and mental disorder. The center of the meditation is inner peace. Then all of the stored stress ultimately emerge by itself and dissolve. The enlightened mind is characterized by inner peace. From the inner peace unfolds a higher consciousness. One can suddenly think better. The tensions are eliminated. The mental capacity is multiplied. One can think holistically (excluding an ego from the entire cosmic system). By the purified mind one can recognize what God is. God is not a concept but the basic perception of man. A person sees all things as they really are. He sees everything in context. Where previously a man by his ego was fixated on himself, he now thinks and feels egoless as one with the cosmos. If the tensions disappear in man, from the deep inner peace arises a deep inner happiness. The man is one with himself and the world. He feels peace, happiness, strength, love and clarity in himself. He gets special abilities. He can suddenly think in the higher dimensions in the cosmos. The space-time limitation is lifted. He can see in the past and future. He can see things on distant places. And he can transmit thoughts and energies to other persons. And an enlightened can test this. There are many levels of enlightenment. The more one grows in his enlightenment, the more abilities one has.
Yogi Nils: "1. The enlightened see God as light in the world in the form of love, peace, and happiness. God is a term for the perception of the enlightened. Every real religion establishes itself around an enlightened master. Every real religion has a word for God, (Tao, Nirwana, Brahman, Allah, Yahwe). 2. The near death research refers to the independence of the soul from the body and the continued existence of the soul after death. The most important witness is Pam Reynolds. She has seen the light of God in the afterlife, and learned that there is a paradise area. She has also demonstrated that her otherworldly experience was real. She heard the doctors during her out-of-body experience and could reproduce exactly the conversation later on. The gauges showed during her out-of-body experience that her brain could not think. There were no brain waves. And yet she has heard the conversation. Pam Reynolds could have heard the conversation of the doctors only with her soul. Her ears were stoppered while the operation. 3. Physics refers to the existence of a higher cosmic information field (Amit Goswami, God as higher consciousness). The string theory supports this point of view. 4. Parapsychology researches spiritual abilities such as thought transfer and to perceive and sense over large distances. 5. Scientific happiness research has proven the context between enlightenment, peace, happiness, and love. They have recognized the principles which lead to a happy life. They have researched Matthieu Ricard as an enlightened person. 6. I live as a hermit. I have been in various states of enlightenment. I have seen God as light in the world, and felt as happiness, love, peace, and truth in myself. I maintain that enlightenment and God exist. I maintain that it is better and happier to be enlightened than unenlightened. I maintain that it is good to live in God."
Hatha Yoga Pradipika
(Quotes from the Hatha Yoga Pradipika)
Hail to Shiva, who expounded the knowledge of Hatha Yoga which guides us gradually to the highest peaks of Raja Yoga (enlightenment yoga, meditation and mind work). Yogi Swatmarama now explains the Hatha Yoga. Matsyendra, Goraksa and other great yogis knew about the wisdom of yoga and thanks to their benevolence Yogi Swatmarama learned it. All the great masters broke the power of death and roam as free souls in the universe. A Yogi should practice Hatha Yoga in a secluded place. He should live in a country where is peace, where are good people and where you can get food easily. The effects of yoga can be destroyed by the following six causes: too much food, too much effort, too much chatter, too extreme practicing, too much contact to other people and too much inconsistency. The following 6 causes bring quick success: courage, boldness, perseverance, good understanding, trust and seclusion. Important are: self-discipline, confidence, compassion, determination, reading, morality, wisdom, simple needs, renouncement. Whether you are young or old, skinny or sick, the one who overcomes inertia will be successful in yoga. By reading books on yoga alone, no one can attain success. Practice alone is the way that leads to success. That's for sure. Through asanas (yoga exercises) and kumbhakas (breathing exercises) the inner power awakens. Asana, kumbhakas and other techniques should be practiced until success in yoga comes. Due to the impurities of the energy channels the energy flows not through the central channel. How then can success be attained in enlightenment? Once the yogi has cleaned the energy channels through his yoga practice, he is able to direct the energy (to do Raja Yoga, Kundalini Yoga). If the dormant kundalini energy awakenes by the blessing of a Guru (inauguration, power transmission), then all the power blocks are removed. Sushumna (the center channel from the pelvic floor to the head) is the main pathway for the flow of energy. Then the mind is free from all bonds. The fear of death is defeated. The yogi whose kundalini is awakened by the grace of an enlightened master and who renounces of all activities (living in the rest) achieves effortlessly samadhi (enlightenment). Oh Parvati! Diseases are destroyed by yoga and even the death will overcome. When the mind is united with God, there is no dualism. Unceasing joy arises.
The Path of Love
The path of all-encompassing love gives life a deeper meaning. It gives us the power to overcome barriers and burdens. When we facilitate the desire for a better world, then we grow further towards enlightenment. The secret to this wish is the connection from the inner to the outer world. We are not spiritually separated from other beings. Their happiness or lack thereof affects us. When we visualize other beings as happy, then we also feel happy. Those who foster and encourage this goal to a happy world creates positivity within. When we send light to all beings, then one day light will come through to our souls. When we do something good for the world, the world will reward us with a positive psyche. But there is a danger along the path of unconditional, all-encompassing love. We can overwhelm ourselves and work too hard and have no energy left for happiness. A karma yogi must practice equally rooted in love and rest and balance rest with activity. A karma yogi must take care of him or herself, as it is impossible to take care of others unless the self is cared for. Furthermore, a path of exhaustion only leads to burn-out, not to enlightenment. Jesus stated, “love God and love your neighbor.” (Meaning, practice spiritually for the development of the self and help others.) Swami Shivananda declared, “love, serve, give, meditate, purify, and realize your true self.” Sai Baba said, “helping hands are holier than lips which pray.“ Those who work towards happiness for all beings are holier than the yogi who only searches for self-enlightenment. But Sai Baba also taught the balance and the connection between personal practice and all-encompassing love. He recommended six hours per day of helping the fellow man, six hours per day of meditation, six hours per day to enjoy life, and six hours of sleep. There are two great goals a human can have. He or she can seek enlightenment or work towards a happier world. At best, we combine the two. The vision of a happy world provides motivation in a life as a Yogi. When Nils doesn’t feel like practicing Yoga, he fills his practice with the motivation of a happier world. He connects himself with all suffering beings in the world and gets energy that way.
Satsang is the company with an enlightened Master or with other truth-seekers. Sat means truth, true essence, being (enlightened existence) and to live in the light (God). Sangha is a word in Pali and Sanskrit meaning "association", "assembly," "company" or "community". Swami Sivananda taught: "Brothers and sisters. Meet, speak and meditate together. Built up centers of peace, brotherhood and unity. Invite good and holy man, and let inspire you. Satsang is the biggest helper and illuminator of people. Where Satsang is, is the presence of God. Satsang is very helpful to obtain spiritual deliverance. One minute satsang with an enlightened man is better than the rule over a kingdom." In the West exists a Satsang movement. Enlightened people offer around the country everyone the possibility of contact with the enlightened energy. The Satsang donors are very different. An important starting point in the Western Satsang movement was the Indian saint Poonja. He is one of the main disciples of Ramana Maharshi. Poonja advised many of his enlightened Western students to give satsang. He explained: "The request to give satsang does not mean, that all teachers of Satsang are already fully realized Masters."
Nils gave his first Satsang in 2002. In the summer, he invited every Friday evening his yoga people in his little yogi hut. The first Satsang was terrible. All participants told their problems. And people in the West have many problems. One problem was worse than the previous one. During the evening the group became more and more depressed. Nils was shocked. The next Satsang, he changed the program completely. He focused on the positive. There was meditation music. He served tea and biscuits. Each person got a positive oracle card and could read fifteen minutes in a spiritual book. They meditated together and asked the enlightened Masters for guidance and help. Then they made a small round table. Everybody could tell five minutes something positive about himself, his life or other people. Nils developed positive subjects, of which the group chose one at the beginning of a discussion. "What I'm grateful for? What is beautiful in my life? What makes me optimistic?" Then they talked a little personally with each other. Finally they meditated five minutes with a beautiful music. It was a successful evening.
We lay or sit down comfortably. We cover us with a blanket while lying down, so that we do not get cold. We turn on a beautiful meditation music.
1. Relaxation = We tense the muscles of the legs and feet. We keep the tension, stop all thoughts and breathe into the legs. Then we relax. We stretch the muscles of the arms and hands. We breathe into the arms and hands. We relax. We tense the muscles of the head and face. We breathe into the face. We relax. We tense the muscles of the whole body. We breathe into the whole body. We relax.
2. Numbers = We count several times the numbers from 1 to 20 in the head, focusing on the head and breathe into the head. Our mind calms. We focus on the chest, breathe into the chest and count the numbers 1 to 20 in the chest. We breathe in the belly, and count there the numbers 1 to 20. We focus on the legs and feet, and count there the numbers 1 to 20. We visualize under the soles a large ball and count the numbers from 1 to 20 in the ball.
3. Sun = We see in the sky a beautiful sun. She sends her rays down on us. We feel her light and warmth on our skin. It is as if we are on holiday in the sun. We enjoy the sunlight. We wrap our whole body with light. We take a golden ray of sun and let the sunlight everywhere circle around us. We think the mantra "Light." We let the sunlight flow into us and fill us with light. We think the mantra "Light."
4. Sending light = We move a hand and send another person light. We envelop him with light and let the light flow into him. Think many times the word "Light". After that we send light all over the world. We wrap the whole world with light, fill it with light and think often "Light."
5. Om Shanti = We think inhaling "Om" and exhaling "Shanti". We stop all other thoughts. We feel calmness, serenity and peace in us. We stop a minute every thought and move gently our feet. We focus on our feet and move on, until our mind comes completely to rest. We relax. We lie a few minutes relaxed just there. We are in harmony with ourselves, our life and our world.